Abtigiis Posted May 28, 2012 Juxa, dhaaxaan meeshan sheeko baralay isku eryanee bal aan dhab wax uga wada hadalno. 1) I don't think the issues of martial abuse against women can be discussed without considering the education and economic aspects of the subject women. Inta badan haweenka lagu qasbo inay nin abusive ah la joogaan waxa qasbaya ma aha hadalka dadka (ama bulsho-weynta ama reerkooda) ee waa pure economics. They simply have no exit doors. I said inta-badan. 2) Haduu ninku naag kale guursdao iyo haduu cheating zinna ah samaynayo xagga ilaahay way kala duwan yihiin laaakin health-wise waa isku risk. Anigu uma arko in modern life'ka ay suurto-gal tahay in laba naagood la guursan karo. (I now expect a tongue-lashing from Takfiiri's and islamic zealots in this forum). 3)From the sample I have (which is big) gabadh lala guursday emotionally waa dead for the rest of her life if she still stays in that marriage. Although divorce is a bit more painful for the children than polygamy. 4) Hadii gabadha la heshiin waayo, waxaan qabaa in la kala tago inay ka fiican tahay in la is dhibo oo guur kale iyo wax aan micno lahayn lagu meeraysto 5) Waxaa kale oo aan qirayaa in hadii caruur jirto ay haboon tahay in xaalad kasta oo lagu badbaadin karo reerka la sameeyo waxaan ka ahayn in la ogolaado nin ama naag gogol-dhaaf samaynaysa iyo in naag moral aan hayn ay iska dugsato caruur. Waxbaan is dhex dhigay baan u maleyne wax miyaad ka fahantay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted May 28, 2012 These all opinions n no 10 commandments. So to each his own walaayal iyo walaayooyen. I dont believe in love per say...i think women invited this bs. I believe in being nice to your other half. N what one dont know, wont hurt them. One shouldnt be getting calls at his family cave...pure n simple. or else following song be their bye calling. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted May 28, 2012 For first time ever, i did understand and agree with most of the things you said (yes i know i need inquraan la isaaro) I do appreciate the financial aspect of staying in an unhappy marriage. I furthermore understand the sacrifices some women and some men make for the wellbeing of their children (yes some men stay in a bad marriage with a bad woman for the sake of the kids) however in the long run sometimes the children suffer more with feuding parents, angry mother who is sometimes obsessed with the other woman she neglects the kids anyway. I do believe that once you have children their needs should take precedent but if life becomes unbearable for the parents then the kids are better off with divorced parents who care deeply for them and happy elsewhere. ps: i always felt that women of certain age with certain x,y, z kids should not remarry but caruurtooda ay korsadaan or at least wait until caruurta are certain age, comfortable, well adjusted etc before remarrying Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mario B Posted May 28, 2012 Juxa;835040 wrote: ps: i always felt that women of certain age with certain x,y, z kids should not remarry but caruurtooda ay korsadaan or at least wait until caruurta are certain age, comfortable, well adjusted etc before remarrying I agree, I believe it should apply to men too who have children to raise, i.e raise your children untill the youngest one is old enough to stand for themselves then you can seek another relationship. I know it sounds hard, but its best way for the children. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AYOUB Posted May 28, 2012 NGONGE;835019 wrote: Not the point. Mrs NG could be a right witch and I would still do the same thing. Would you have the energy for all the lies, cover ups and games that such people play, Ayoub? (regardless of love and all that other nonesense). Fear of being found out or caught with your shorts down is a much bigger deterrent than love, saaxib. Waa runtaa. No justification for cheating, but stop being Farah and give credit where due. Being caught must be out-weighed by "too much to lose". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qandalawi Posted May 28, 2012 Abtigiis, now its bad to take a second but fine to commit zinaa? Marrying second or third wife is good and brings about healthy (of course challenging) for the entire families. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taleexi Posted May 28, 2012 Juxa;835018 wrote: aamiin blessed Met a somali lady with 6 kids and infected with HIV by her husband, who still lives with her and the children (dumarka qaaarkood wax aan ku tilmaamo ma aqaan) One being in a such situation. I think the lady's options are limited. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted May 29, 2012 I dont understand what the big deal is. If a man gets bored or a woman for that matter, there is no point holding them to randsom just because of marriage People should be free to pursue their own happiness, of course that should not be at the cost of the woman in most cases. Maxaa loo dhibayaa maskiinka, let him roam free, let him enjoy his life, as long as it is away from me Anigu reeraha xitaa uma waceen. I bet cheating would loose its appeal if you removed the excitement of hiding I agree with you fully Juxa. Inkasto aan aminsanahay hadii labo qof dhib dhex marto ee wacdaan eheladooda oo ehel ayaa ugu dhaw wax ku cawinaya oo wanag iyo sharaf kula raba (I am talking about your immediate family ). Laakin nin qofkale melaha la wareegay waa laga wacanyahay reerna waxba ma qaban karaan. Kaas oo kale hadaan dacas la dhicin ayuu nasiib badanyahay uu albaabka ka baxo ..ewww! Saad tidhina everyone is free to do whatever that makes them happy.inkasto ay tahay ninku in uu guurka macnihisa yaqaan hadana haduu dhoho farxiyo ayaan cashaqay intaas uun laga raba in uu dhoho suu bacdiisi horay ugu sii xambaarto. The whole idea of cheating is a sign of immaturity. salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted May 29, 2012 wyre;834965 wrote: you really made my day oday anyway it's not fare to have a love outside while you are married, ma midda guriga joogto miyaa kugu filnaan weyday i had a friend who was married and had an affair outside so he wrote on her number "eedo aamino wiilkeeda" and he told her it's my eedo's son whom we do not know each other one day she answered his son when eedo aamino's son called, aniga iyo isagaa qolkaa ku wada qadeyneynay, she came by us and said "eedo aamino wiilkeeda cod cajiib leh buu leeyahay, waa inaad isaga guursataa anigana i furtaa" loooool@ eedo amina wiilkeeda.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar Posted May 29, 2012 Abtigiis bilooyinkaan jiitin iyo jiitin kasoo haray ee taloow marwadiisa maxee galabsatay. Mid geeljire mee kaa raacday? Laakiin waxaa soo xasuustay saaxiibkey aan shalay isla soconay asagoo ku raran iPhone cusub. Xaaska iga badashay yiri his Blackberry. Wuxuu yiri waxee dhibka ka taagantahay you can't delete individual calls on the iPhone now as he used to do on Blackberry. On iPhone, the only option one has is to either delete all the recent calls or nothing. He deleted once all recent calls. The xaajiyo checked, though and were asked "maxaa u tirtirtay" maadaama la check gareeye. Saaxiibkey waa calaacalaaye marka. Maxaa qarineysaa iri, xaajiyadaadana wey kaa reysay ugu sii daray weyba kugu ogeyd. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted May 29, 2012 ^ Wow. She should just trust him and if not then go separate ways. buying him an iphone wont make him faithful if he isn't lol..people are strange! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted May 29, 2012 MMA, You can delete a call on the iphone. Go to recent calls, then Edit, then you get see the recent calls with a red (like stop) sign on the left side, touch it, and then the horizontal white line in the stop sign becomes vertical, then you will see a delete option on the right corner. U sheeg saaxiibkaa. He can delete one or two calls without erasing all recent calls. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted May 29, 2012 ^ LOOL..danbi inaad helasid miyadan ogeyn hadii qofta dumaree odeygeeda hubsatay in uu meel kale wicin aad ka waashid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted May 29, 2012 Hmmm. Abtigiis, for some one who claims to be anti-cheating, you sure seem an expert on meermeersi. Your first post on page three was spot on. Hada raga illahay ka baqa dheh, waaxay jir ka tuurku? Juxa, On remarriage. I'm not sure, some shouldn't but haday nin wanaagsan oo Illaahay ka baqa hesho dhib uma arko, it could be good for her family. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted May 29, 2012 Blessed, for someone who wants to cheat, the sky is the limit in terms of tactics. Not being able to delete a call received is not an effective deterrent. He can have other ways of getting to his illegal lover. I was only assisting him in technological terms; not to encourage him to delete phones. By the way, it is true sometimes you want to delete some messages. For example, if you send money to a long-time friend and you get thanks I received the money at a time the wife was accusing you of wasting money, you sure want to delete the message. :D Or from a relative of yours (lacag aan la isku ogeyn hadaad dirto kkkkkk). The other instance is when a male friend of you sends you a cheeky message on some issues you talk about which you know you shouldn't be! Honestly, the only time I have faced something of a mild embarassment was when a young somali girl oo ku kulanay workshop ii soo dirtay "are you free on saturday?" message. I think she may have thought I can find her a better job or whatever, sidaa unbaan u maleyn. The wife saw it, but did not say anything. I knew the message was read after I got my phone back and also fromthe puzzled face of wifey. In wax si yihiin baan fahmay. Then, without saying anything, I waited for a while, and sent a message back to the same number. "No. saturday's I take my family out. Sunday too. You can call me on Monday or anyday during the working days". Ileen waa la shakisnaaye, the message was later read and only then was I asked: "haa, waan arkay fariin aan fahmi waayey laakin waxaan is idhi waxba ha waydiin". And a proud husband replied 'it is someone I met in a workshop. I think she wants to speak to me about work-related issues". Allah knows how I felt bad that day because I thought I may have brought suspicion disease into the house! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites