Brothers Share One Wife

[nuune]

Mukulaalow;826187 wrote:

abaayo, I can understand your mentality, you live in the west and all you that comes to your mind is the sexualization of the Dumaal idea. its like when a young somalis who grew in the west goes to Somalia and they see men holding hands in the streets, it repulses them as they think sexual, but it is not. So, I might not be a fan of Dumaal, but they have their understandable reasons.

That is not what Juxa has pointed out, you said this:

 

ma juxa aa rabtaa inaa dumaashid

That means wishing someone to die and someone else to take the place, that is Haraam Caleyk yaa Akhii, respect

[Mukulaalow]

nuune;826185 wrote:

I know a friend whom all his 3 brothers died, and they left three wives, one left actually 2 wives, while the other two left 2 wives, so in total, the dead 3 brothers left 4 wives, so the only remaining brother responsibility weyn ayaa sugeyso, he had a wife but had to divorce her to accommodate the 4 wives in waiting, and it happened, they all live in happily now.

 

wallee waa dhibanyahay kaas. 4 sister-in-laws automatically becoming 4 wives.lol

[Juxa]

There is nothing western about me, i just think if the idea of dumaal is to take care of your brother's children, you can do it without marrying the widow. thousands of men and women take care of their dead siblings families.

 

Maybe 100 or even 50 years ago, it was necessary, but that was only cause reer baadiyaha majecla xoolaha (geela) walaalkood ka dhintay inuu ninkale maamula. so in essence the idea of dumaal is greed....be it wife badsashato or keeping the hanti in the family

 

It has absolutely nothing to do with the children, in fact the children are left confused to see adeer oo hooyo lajooga

 

ps: some women even in the old days were forced to agree to dumaal, they were told ama caruurta nooga tag ama reer aabahood haku dumaaleen.

[wyre]

the worst thing ab't dumaal 2 cousins from One mother, Damn that's sick men

[Mukulaalow]

Juxa;826194 wrote:

There is nothing western about me, i just think if the idea of dumaal is to take care of your brother's children, you can do it without marrying the widow. thousands of men and women take care of their dead siblings families.

 

Maybe 100 or even 50 years ago, it was necessary, but that was only cause reer baadiyaha majecla xoolaha (geela) walaalkood ka dhintay inuu ninkale maamula. so in essence the idea of dumaal is greed....be it wife badsashato or keeping the hanti in the family

 

It has absolutely nothing to do with the children, in fact the children are left confused to see adeer oo hooyo lajooga

 

ps: some women even in the old days were forced to agree to dumaal, they were told ama caruurta nooga tag ama reer aabahood haku dumaaleen.

you have a valid point here where sometimes not all, the man's family used to force the woman to marry their other son or leave the children.

 

but I dis-agree with you where you said greed and the dead man's family not wanting their geel to be shared is the reason. Your wrong here, as you know the reer baadiye Somali tradition code the family's wealth never goes to the widow, so if the widow even marries another man of her own choice she will not have the power to manage the wealth of here deceased husband as his brothers will be the sole guardians of the wealth and will keep safe for his children to grow up and claim. I dis-agree with this ruthless culture where the woman can not manage her dead husband's wealth, its un-islamic and inhuman, but it has nothing to do with Dumaal.

[NGONGE]

Juxa;826173 wrote:

it is horrible custom, ee iga dhaaf unless each and everyone of you have hots for the wives of your brothers.

 

mukulaalow isku xishoo,,,,,intaanan miciyaha kugu dhufan

Bal gardarada eega! I have NEVER looked at Ibti in that way (beautiful, interesting and crazy as she is). Say sorry, you have wronged me Juxa!

[somalee]

Alpha Blondy;826099 wrote:

Jb, how does this differ from the somali custom of 'dumaal'? i've always found that interesting.

Lol, dumaal doesn't imply sleeping with your brother's wife while he's still alive. It's only necessary when there are kids involved, so it's done for the sake of the children.

[Bluelicious]

She is the woman!

 

Having two men to boss around and to dominate over.

[wyre]

Haddii ey xalaal ahaan leheyd dumarka sidi raggi camal in la affar guursadaan soomaali wey halaagmi laheyd

[OdaySomali]

nuune;826185 wrote:

I know a friend whom all his 3 brothers died, and they left three wives, one left actually 2 wives, while the other two left 2 wives, so in total, the dead 3 brothers left 4 wives, so the only remaining brother responsibility weyn ayaa sugeyso, he had a wife but had to divorce her to accommodate the 4 wives in waiting, and it happened, they all live in happily now.

 

 

Dumaal is not after all uff and qurun, it is a remedy, a cure, a responsibility, a caring, a loving union, and after all, you are taking care your brother's fortress feeding his children, building the family where it was left.

So the deal he offered them is I will help you only if I can have sex with all of you ? How very selfless of our pal. What was the going rate, $50 for sex per month ??

 

Its a ruthless system in which sex is exchanged for money/help. In some cases the brother(s) might marry the wifes not to actually take them as wifes, but selfishly its an arangement to prevent the women marrying another man for money/help in exchange. You see, the pride of Somalis does not allow the family of the man to help the woman/children should she marry another man (outside the family).

[wyre]

Out of topic

[Taleexi]

Waxaa ka daraan lahaa haddii wiil & aabihii wadaagi lahaayeen?

[Narniah]

Yikes, Sick!

 

It's been posted before.

[Mario B]

This is lame, in the Himalayan mountains where they practise Bhuddism, you will find a father and son sharing a wife.

[Jamelia]

nuune;826185 wrote:

I know a friend whom all his 3 brothers died, and they left three wives, one left actually 2 wives, while the other two left 2 wives, so in total, the dead 3 brothers left 4 wives, so the only remaining brother responsibility weyn ayaa sugeyso, he had a wife but had to divorce her to accommodate the 4 wives in waiting, and it happened, they all live in happily now.

 

 

Dumaal is not after all uff and qurun, it is a remedy, a cure, a responsibility, a caring, a loving union, and after all, you are taking care your brother's fortress feeding his children, building the family where it was left.

 

Huh? He divorced his wife and left his children's mother(assuming they had kids together), to marry and make way for his deceased brothers wives and kids.

 

But what about the affect on his own children? Why does he need to break up his own family unit to be able to support his brothers kids?

 

Where is the logic in all this?