Marriage Issues

[Naxar Nugaaleed]

Would it have been possible for you to go, hear the music but then buy some homeless person a meal.

[Umm Maryam]

Lol...ummm no.

[Naxar Nugaaleed]

music is just discouraged as far as I know. Feeding a homeless person is major karma points or ajar lol. At the very least, they would cancel each other out...

[Wadani]

^ Naxar, that has to do with interpretation. Just 20 years ago Music, khat, cigarrettes, mixed weddings etc etc werent seen as a big deal amongst Somalis. But the Shaykhs we had returning from Saudi Arabia brought with them the Salafi/Wahabi interpretation of the deen. All of a sudden a man who sits down for khat once a week after a hard days work is a major sinner, akin to someone who drinks. And attending the wedding of a family member is unthinkable because of the music.

 

Im not condoning the things i listed above, but i think our shaykhs sumtimes overly condemn some relatively benign things and overlook others that are quite serious in their effects.

[Naxar Nugaaleed]

lol, piety has to include not just from the abstaining from stuff but also proactive things like feeding the poor and a ton of other stuff. We seemed to have zeroed in on Haraam and forgot about Ajar. On my way yesterday, I was approached by a little girl of someone I knew. I noticed she was not playing with anyone so I decided to engage her a little, old are, what grade blah blah. She was bright little girl and I was amazed when she told me her favorite subjects were math and Science. I saw some people across lifting stuff. I jokingly told her she help that old lady. You should have seen the look on her face "waa gaalo" looool. bid my farewell and kept going, least I be accused of corrupting anyone's children.

[Wadani]

^ ur experieince demonstrates my point exactly. Thats what i meant by the de emphasis on certain fundamental aspects of the religion. It seems like nowadays if u grow a beard, wear a khamis (which isnt even Islamic lol) and go to the mosque and learn a few arabic terms like jazaakallau khair, akhi/ukhti etc uve reached the epitome of piety. our wadaads r doing Islam a huge diservice by stripping it down to donning certain garbs and catch phrases and abstaining from certain things deemed haraam (some of which can be debated). Anyway, Insha'Allah this whole Shabaab debacle will wake Somalis up and make them yearn for a more wholistic approach to our beautiful deen based on wisdom and context. But i fear that many of have been so turned off by al-shabaab that their slowly turning away from Islam all together, and we have many of those type right here on SOL.

[Naxar Nugaaleed]

lol, true. your more hopeful then I, and that is a good thing.

 

To the sister, I highly suggest you seek proper marriage counseling, I hear there are even free ones. You can never change anyone but learning to communicate and trying to understand each other can't hurt. A mother in law is a pain in the neck since people started to get married in the post cavemen era, you have to get creative with finding solutions, get or extend your work hours, no one would expect you to show up for silly Social events lol.

[Che -Guevara]

^You sound like the preachers you condemning:D

 

 

p.s. Isn't assuming someone pain in the neck recipe for disaster, self fulling prophecy?

[Naxar Nugaaleed]

How so Che

[Che -Guevara]

^The belief of absolute certainty that something is wrong or right doesn't leave much room for discussion- in case point, the assumption you made about the little girl, this was opportunity for correcting the kid's thinking (I appreciate you were perfect stranger to talking to child) yet your belief about people stopped you from talking to the kid any further and seeing what shaped her behavior.

[Naxar Nugaaleed]

You are extrapolating quite a lot from that simple conversation with a five year old. Kids mimic what they hear from there parents. It's not absulotist to be surprised at a child running around with something. An adult I would have tried to correct but child I leave to their parents to teach.

[Che -Guevara]

^It's not so much about child, more to the point, the adults who you think influenced this child, religion comes in many forms. We are just wired to think the scriptures and people's adherence to holy books are the only basis of our belief system. Personal beliefs acquired through self-introspection, education and experience sometime carry weight in person's conduct than your traditional orthodox religions.

 

In your encounter with this child and your subsequent reaction to her comment demonstrates your imposition of 'personal religion' if you will onto the situation at hand and weigh it against the beliefs of those who influences child. Whether you realize or not, you believe your way is correct and theirs is not.

[Naxar Nugaaleed]

The truth how the matter is this che, I couldn't care less If you believe in some scripture about Martians. To expect others to treat other human beings with a common decency is not absolutism or my own "personal religion" but just that, common decency. I know of no religion or scripture that would encourage such behavior, to the contrary, there is something called the golden rule among religions:

No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself ~ Islam,

What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary ~ Talmud or Judaism,

All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye so to them; for this is the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:1,

Do not do to others what you would not like yourself. Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state ~ Confucianism

This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you~ Hinduism.

 

On and on, so yes I do think I am right. Not because of personal religion or any other ism but because its common sense. Are we to suspend common sense when dealing with Ignorance of that magnitude, indoctrinating to dislike and disassociate from others because they are different. I do have my own beliefs and thinking, I think the difference though, is that I use those beliefs to a moral compass for me and only, I don't let them predetermine how I treat people of differing views or how I interact with them. Forgot the child, what do you think of a world view like that.

[Kool_Kat]

nuune;818478 wrote:

Had my doubts in first page, qofkan waa Marx, sorry buddy, had to say that, confirmed!

Afkaaga oodkac iyo doolshe lagu qabay!!!

[Jacpher]

Naxar: the statement by the little girl "waa gaalo" doesn't mean jack sxb. It neither proves you right nor the parent wrong. Your suggestion this child was corrupted or indoctrinated not to help others because of 'gaalnimo' is no more than your own fantasy. Che is right that you passed your own judgment and self-fulfilling prophecy onto the situation.