A Love Story

[Nur]

From time to time, some of my readers fall in love and as a result they get carried away to Nurtel Love Clinic, In another Somali Forum, One of my brothers in Islam wrote me this moving note in Somali:

 

 

asalamu calaykum!

SALAANTA ISLAMKA EE QAALIGA AH KABACDI WALAAL WAXAAN MARKA UG U HORRAYS RABAA INAAN KUU SHEEGO INAAN ALLE DARTIIS KUU JECLAHAY!!!! HADAAN USOO NOQDO ARRINTII AAN RABAY INAAD IGALA TALISO WALAAL WAXAA JIRA INAAN GABAR AAD U JECLHAY TAASOO AAN KU QNCAY DIINTEEDA IYO QURUXDEEDABA. DHIBAATADA UGU WQAYN WAXAY TAHAY IN HOOYADAY AY KASOO HORJEEDO INAAN GABDHAN WAX NA DHEX MARAAN IYADOO KU DOODAYSA REERKOODA XIRIIR FIICAN MALIHIN. ANIGUNA WAXA ISU KAY HALEELAY ALLE KACABSI AAN IS LEEYAHAY HADDAAD HOOYADAA KA HORTIMAADID ALLAAHBAA KUU CADHOON. HADAAN SIDAAS KU AAMUSI LAHAANA DHIBKU WAA JACAYLKA AAN GABDHA U QABO

IYADOO QALBIGAYGA XADAYSA MARKASTA OO AAN MAQLANA AY MEEL IGO AYSO! JACAYL CAAD AHNA MA AHA E WAA PAINFUL ONE! ANIGU WAXAAN AHAY WIIL DHALIYARO AH OO DIINTIISSA KU DHAQMA ALLAAHNA JECEL. E MAXAAN SAMEEYAA ANIGOO IMTIXAANKAN ADAG KU JIRA EE LA IGU IMTIXAAMAYO WAX KAMID AH WAXYAAALAHA BINA AADAMKU UU UGU JECELYAHAY!(ZUYINA LINAASI XUBBU SHAWAATI MINA NISAAI.) WALAAL ILA TALI WAAN KUGU KASOONAHAYE! INTAA WAXAA DHEER INAAN DAGANAHAY WADAN FITNO BADAN OO GAALAAD!!

 

YUNIS

 

 

Translation

 

 

asalamu calaykum!

 

After my valuable salaams of Islam to you, brother, first I want u to know that I love you for the sake of Allah SWT..

 

Returning to the issue that I wanted your advice for, Brother, I fell in serious love with a girl, who convinced me with her faithfulness ( Islam), and beauty.

 

The problem that I am facing is that my mom is against my choice for a potential wife, her argument being that she does does not get along with her well enough to endorse this courtship.

 

So as a result I am between a rock and a hard place, as on one hand I am very considerate of my mom, fearful of Allah's displeasure for opposing my mother's wishes, and on the other hand the immense love that I have for this girl periodically shatters my heart to painful pieces whenever I hear her speak. While I am a young man rising to my future and parctise my deen and love Allah.

 

So what should I do with this tough dilemma of mine, a real test as Allah SWT made women very attractive for men to love (can't help, not my fault in falling in love?)

 

So, Dear bro. please advice me, cuz I trust your opinion, add to the above that I live in a western country ( too much temptation to cross the line)

 

 

YUNIS

 

 

Here was my response in case you are have similar symptoms:

 

 

Walaal Yunas

 

Dear Bro Yunas

 

First salaams of Allah be upon u, his mercy and blessings.

 

Secondly

 

May Allah love you too for loving me for his sake.

 

thirdly

 

Be aware that whenever you give a priority to what Allah loves ahead of yours that, you will be happy at te end as the good guys have the last laugh.

 

Parents are priority # 2 in the level of importance of obedience after Allah SWT, Allah SWT decreed that we should not wosrhip none other than Him, and that we treat our parents with goodness.

 

It is apparent that you as a son can not match the parental love of your mom toward you, so since her love for you is instinct, you are ordered to practice loving her by being nice to her, and that is the challenge and struggle and test for you, and as claim to be faithful, I can see that you have to take this test to show , how much faithful you are to Allah and to see where are your priorities when your desires collide with those of your parents and Allah in this case.

 

Allah SWT Says : " Ali laam miim, does mankind assume that they are left untested to claim that they have belived (in Allah), we had indeed tested those before you, so Allah may know those whose claim is true and those whsoe claim is a lie"

 

As an example of aligning our desires with those of Allah SWT:

 

1. Remember Prophet Abraham, and how much he loved his son, and how he sacrificed his son to gain Allah's love. As a reward, Allah SWT made his children prophets and Kings for mankind.

 

2. Hagar the second wife of Abraham, accepted to be left in the desert of arabia alone with her new born son, Ishmael, with no food and water saying that if this was Allah's decree, than He would not neglect her, and as a reward for her reverence of Allah's wishes, she was rewarded with the honor of making compulsory that All mankind follow her footseteps and run between mount Safa and mount Marawa during Hajja as a token of appreciation of her stand with her husband which was Allah's order.

 

3. Ismail, son of Abraham, when he grew up and got married, from the Arabian tribe of Jurhum, Abraham visited him and found his choice of a wife not to be good, as a result Ismael divorced his wife to pelase his father. As a reward, Ismael would be honored to be the grandfather of Prophet Muhammad SAWS.

 

So beware that you are under test, so perform well.

 

Now that I clarified the issues, I leave the decision for you, and in case it is not clear, let me know, I will clarify further, but the final decision is yours alone as you would've live with your choices forever.

 

Nur

 

 

The original Somali answer:

 

 

Assalamu Calukum wa raxmatullahi wa barakaatuh, marka hore, Axxbbaka Allahu alladii fiihi axbabtanii.

 

Marka labaad.

 

Waxaad ogaataa haddaad waxaad jeceshahay uga tagto Allah dartiis, ood ka hormariso wuxuu Allah jecel yahay waxaad adiga jeceshay in uu Allah kaa farxin doono maxaa yeelay cidhibta dambe waxaa leh taqwada.

 

 

Waalidka wexey ka joogaan Allah miisaankisa meel weyn oo ku xigta Allah, Allah wuxuu leeyahay:

 

" Allah ayaa gooyay ( qaraar) ineydaan u hoggansamin asaga mooyaanee cidkale, waaldkiinna inaad wanaajisaan"

 

Sida muuqata, hooyo jeceylka ay kuu qabto u ma aad qabtid, maxaa yeelay Somalidu wexey ku maahmaahdaa, " Qofaad dhashay kuma Dhalin" sidaa darteed, adiga maa daama aadan laheyn jeceyl u dhigma kan waalidkaaga, ayaa waxaa jihaadkaaga laga yeelay inaad raalli geliso, taasoo ah imtixaanka adduunka, si loo eego iney ku galeen waxaad sheegatay oo ah iimaan ah. Allah wuxuu leeyahay:

 

" alif, laam , miim, dadku ma wexey u maleeyeen inaan ku dhaafeyno iney sheegtaan iney na rumeyeen, ayagoon la imtixaanin, waannu imtixaannay kuwii idinka horreyay, Allahna wuu ogaan kuwa ay ka dhabta tahay (iimaanka) wuuna ogaan kuwa been sheegay"

 

Mataal ahaan:

 

1. Waxaad xasuustataa Nabi Ibrahim inuu wiilkiisa uu jecelyahay uu Allah u hibeeyey in gowraco, laakin markuu la yimid daacaddii, Allah uu ugu baddalay inyy ka yeelo dhashiisii anbiyaa, iyo boqorro.

 

2. Haajar, markey raalli ku noqotay in looga soo tago lama dagaan cidlaha ah ee buuraha Makka, ooy ku tiri Ibrahim, " hadduu Allah ku faray inaad nooga tagto meeshaan, is ka tag, Allah na dayici maayee" Allah wuxuu ugu baddalay in lagu karaameeyay in bani adamka ay cagtooda mariyaan Safa iyo Marwa, taasoonoqotay sare marin lagu sare mariyey daacda Allah.

 

3. Sidaasoo kale, Ismaacil, wuu furey xaaskiisa markii Abbahiis, Nabi Ibrahim uu amray inuu furo xaaskiisa.

 

 

Marka xasuusnow inaad ku sugan tahay imtixaan, hadaba maxaa kuu habboon?.

 

Jawaabta adiga ayaan kuu dhaafaya, walaal, haddadan jawaabta garanna, mar labaad ayaan soo qori doonaa qoraal kuu sii caddeeya tallabadaad ku dhaqaaqi laheyd, maxaa yeelay, anugu wax baan caddeeya, tallabada, adiga ayaa lagaa doonayaa, Allah ku waafajiyo tan quman, aamin

 

 

Brother Yunis needed further Clarification, so I wrote back again:

 

Brother Younis

 

Sidaan horey kuugu sheegay, furaha faraxaaga waxaa haya hooyadaa, la'aanteed farxad adduun iyo mid aakhiro waa kaa fogtahay, haddey jirto haween qudha oo mudan inaad ka farxiso, waa hooyadaa.

 

Waxaad maanta u dhexeysaa labo haween, mid ku jecel, iyo mid aad jeceshahay. Tan ku jecel waa hooyadaa, oo ka masweyrsan jeceylka aad u qabto gabadha aad caashaqsan tahay, waxaana laga yaabaa haddadan muujin laheyn jaceylka weyn ood gabaddaas aad u qabto iney hooyo kuu ogolaan laheyd, laakin waxaan filayaa, in hooyo ay dareentay jeceylkaas ooy ka baqday iney gabadhaas ku yeelato, kaan goyso tii ku jecleyd oo ku soo korsatay kuuna soo sabartay ilaa aad soo gaadhay da' aad guur ku doonto.

 

Waxaaan filayaa in hooyo ay marmarsiyo ka dhiganeyso cidda gabadha, laakin boogta runta ah waa caashiqnimadaada.

 

Hadaba, marka hore:

 

1. arrintaan qabooji dhowr usbuuc, gabadhana u sheeg waxaad sameyneyso., yaaney kula soo xidhiidhin, warkeedana ha soo qaadin, iskana dhig qof illobey.

 

2. Hooyo waxaad tustaa ( special care) muddadaas, ha ka ag tagin, isu jilci, ka qosli, kana farxi, iskuna day inaad hadiyooyin ay jeceshahay aad u keentid.

 

3. Markii muddo la joogo, ( dhowr bilood) gabadha, wax wanaag ah ha u sameyso hooyadaa, ama hadiyo, ama ha maqashiiso baarrinimo, hana dareensiiso wanaag badan iyo ixtiraam aad u weyn.

 

4. Haddii ay hooyo gabadha soo dhoweyso, Allah bari, inuu hooyo qalbigeeda jilciyo, si ay u aqbasho gabadha.

 

5. Haddey hooyo ka soo jeesato gabadha, ka samir.

 

6. Somalinet aan gabadh kale kaaga raadinno, waxaa laga yaabaa inaan halkan ka hesho mid ku illowsiisa tii hore.

 

 

Hooyo, wax la siisto ma jiraan, hooyo wax laga jeclaado ma jiraan, Allow hooyooyinkeen u wada dambi dhaaf, ugu dambi dhaaf dhibka ay nala so mareen, korinteenna iyo dadaalkeenna.

 

 

Walaalkaa

 

 

Nur

[Delilah]

Sorry man, but all i understood was to the second line. Maybe it would help if the post was in english, just a thought ( like the person above). I was actaully gonna ask my mom to read it to me...but that never happened. I really want to know, please post it in english.

[Nur]

Somali Chic

 

 

Here is the translation fo the letter sent to me.

 

 

asalamu calaykum!

 

After my valuable salaams of Islam to you, brother, first I want u to know that I love for the sake of Allah SWT..

 

Returning to the issue that I wanted your advice for, Brother, I fell in serious love with a girl, who convinced me with her faithfulness ( Islam), and beauty.

 

The problem that I am facing is that my mom is against my choice for a potential wife, her argument being that she does does not get along with her well enough to endorse this courtship.

 

So as a result I am between a rock and a hard place, as on one hand I am very considerate of my mom, fearful of Allah's displeasure for opposing my mother's wishes, and on the other hand the immense love I that have for this girl periodically shatters my heart to painful pieces whenever I hear her speak. While I am a young man rising to my future and parctise my deen and love Allah.

 

So what should I do with this tough dilemma of mine, a real test as Allah SWT made women very attractive for men to love (can't help, not my fault in falling in love?)

 

So, Dear bro. please advice me, cuz I trust your opinion, add to the above that I live in a western country ( too much temptation to cross the line)

 

 

YUNIS

[nafta]

Hey Nur,

 

well, after reading both the letters in somali en english (and getting some serious eye exercises afterwards...)I have to say that is a very interesting post.

It's a tough situation when you are torn between your parents and the person you love. But what if the parents reason for disliking the person is very pettish (like the way he cuts her hair, or the way she looks, not meaning in terms of wearing unsuitable clothes), are u still supposed to ignore you feelings and go for whatever your parents decide. I know you have to listen and respect what your parents say, but we all know somali people sometimes have very pettish reasons (like qabiil) for not wanting you to marry with someone they dislike.

[Nur]

Nafta, (or should I call u Ruuxa or Dhiigga?)

 

Just kiddin.

 

I guess, we owe a lot to our parents, and if it was not for their TLC when were helpless little kids, we would not have amounted for much today, when they speak, we need to listen, even when they are wrong, they are still right except when they go against Islam, in which case we are still ordered to treat them well, but not to obey them in Allah's disobedience.

 

Now, you may get mad and say, " but Its my friggin life, and my great cooley Dam choice" which is true, your choice could back fire on you and you may end up losing yur parents and your loved one for which you have sacrificed your parents, and then, what Nafta?

 

You come back home broken, and subdued, to your childhood room, lifting the pieces of your life after a bad journey into the world of strangers, to realize that these parents are not dumb after all, it is their love for you that is in the way of your love to those you are attracted, but who may prove to be like a mirage one day.

 

The way I reason is that one needs to prioritize her life, Allah being # One of our concerns, Parents being # two, and then our own wishes, but never put your desires ahead of those two priorities.

 

One way to have your cake and eat it too, is to be very nice with your parents in the way you propose this new creature into their lives, just like a doctor preparing a patient for a tissue transplant to avoid tissue rejection, you have to prepare your parents for your choice, if you are tactful, and approch them with finnesse, you can win your parental approval and your love at the same time, The e-Nuri method of living a good life on earth and laughing all the way to jannah.

 

 

Nur

[Final_Say]

salamz:

 

from wat i can understand frm somali traditions and indeed islam; m

 

marriage is not only between two people, it is between 2families.

 

it will make his life easier to marry someone who his mum is happy with (guys dat does not mean u have to be a totally mummy's boy) but it will make ur life much easier, ur mum would feel like u respect her and u value her judgement. in any case if the brother is practicing and has not spend anytime with the sister he intents to marry, and just likes her beauty and her voice and deen, den his mum probably has more knowledge in regard to her character, personality etc.. so maybe looks can br deceiving.

 

in any case its important to start a marriage off on the right foot, with as much blessings as u can get.

 

out of sight, out of mind; he will soon forget he even liked the gurl, let alone wanted to marry her, there are many fishs in the sea who are pretty and practicing, which will impress him mum.

 

if he does go ahead he is gonna feel like he always has to make a choice between his wife and his mother in everything; and if things go wrong for him and his wife, mum will not put in as much effort to help out, and also the "I TOLD U SO"

 

 

salamz

[lol]

Nur: Walaalkiis diinta ka sokow qofka waa in uusan waalidkiisa wax kale ku doorsanin. Qofkan maanta aad aragtay oo aad waalidkaa ku qilaafeyso miyuu yahay qof kula joogaayaa noloshada inta ka dhiman....sida ay waalidkaa kuu jecelyihiina marnaba kuuma jeclaanaayo... so why defy my parents when I knwo at the end of the day he or she can leave me for having a bad day to mention da least ?

 

And the three things Allah SWT... loves are.

 

1 Asalaatu fil waqtihaa ( salaada oo waqtigeeda la tukado)

 

2 Birul waalideyn ( waalidka oo la adeeco)

 

3 Jihaad fi sabiili laah ( jihaad oo Ilaaheey dartiis loo galo)..

 

Marka.. qofna qof kale jeceel dartiis uma dheheen... waalidkaa ka soo hor jeeso.... never.. no matter wat their reasons are...

 

Waxaa dhacday berigii Nabiga csw, waxaa jiray nin ( I don't remember his name now) oo wax kasta oo Ilaaheey jecel yahay sameyn jiray.. jihaad galay, sadaqo baxsaday... maalin maalmaha ka mid ah.. ayaa Nabiga csw u timid xaaskii ninkaa oo ku tiri.. hebel waa sakaraad. Nabiga waxa uu u diray, Bilaal cs iyo Ali cs si ay u arkaan xaaalada uu ku sugnaa. Markii ay gurigiisa tageen ayeey arkeen in ninka aad sakaraad u yahay. Shahaadada ayeey isku dayeen in ay ku qabtaa.. hebel dheh shahaada.. waa u dhihi waayey...

 

Bilaal iyo Ali ayaga oo la yaaban ayuu Ali Bilal ku yiri.. Nabiga u sheeg waxa dhacaayaa. Bilaal marka uu nabiga csw u sheegay ayuu nabiga ku yiri, waalidkiis yaa nool? Markaas uu yiri hooyadii...waxa uu Nabiga csw yiri.. hadaba hooyadiis iigu yeer hadii aysan ii imaankarina aniga ayaa u tagaaya.. Bilaal iyo hooyadii oo isla socdaa ayaa nabigii csw u yimi.. Nabiga waxa uu weydiiyey... aqlaaqda wiilkeeda... xaga la dhaqanka waalidkiis marka la eego...

 

Hooyadii waxey tiri, dhankasta waa uu ii roonaa.. laakiinse marka xaga xaaskiisa ay gaadho sheekada.. waxa uu la safan jiray xaaskiisa taasna aad ayaan uga xumaaday... Nabiga csw waxa uu yiri ... Qofka hooyadii niyada ka xumeeyaa Ilaaheeyna waa ka niyad xumaadaa... wiilkaadana waa sakaraad.. shahaadada ma qabanaayo... saas ayuu naarta ku galaayaa... markaas ayeey hooyadii naxday oo ay tiri.........Naarta yaa leyga geynin cafis ayuu iga yahay.. wax aan u qabo ma lahan... Nabiga csw waxa uu ku yiri Bilaal orad hadana ku qabta shahaadada hadii uu qabsado niyada hooyadiis waa saafi oo wey cafisay, hadii kalena weli waa ka xuntahay.... Bilaal markii uu qolka soo galay ayuu maqlay mariidkii oo ashahaadanaaya... markiiba wuu gartay in niyada hooyadii saafi u noqotay...

 

Walalkiis marka.. arinka heerkaas ayuu maraayaa.. Ilama ahan in qof bini aadmi ahi aad ku doorsan karto waalidkaa esepcially hooyadaa... marka.. wiilkaas waxaan dhihi lahaa..

 

Hooyadaa ka duceyso oo naagta ay ku tiraahdo guurso guurso,... jeceelka waa dhamaadaa... midkalena waa dhashaa.. marka.. ta dambe koleyba waqtiga waa ku jecleysiinaayaa...

[Final_Say]

hibo not fair

we can read ur answer; translate it unless it is a love not to nur

 

salamz

[lol]

Missy........I don't think I can translate all that I have written... by the way are u always gonna beg someone to read or translate for u... words written in ur mother tongue? Shame on you gurl!

 

Ok this is just a brief recount of wat i wrote..

 

Just this once... Missy... next time me won't do no translation .. capische????

 

Putting the religion aside, its a matter of common sense. Think about it, this person u have just met and with whom there is no gauranteed eternal love that will bond you forever, would u ever leave your parents who love with unconditionally? Brought u up when u were just a baby and laid on bed helpless? Would u? The answer is surely NO. So I don't think anyone in their right mind would defy their parents to be with someone..

 

The Prophet when asked wat were the three things Allah swt loved the most.. he said:

 

1. Salaatul Fil waqtihaa ( Praying the prayers on their times)

 

2.Birul waalideyni (Obedience to parents)

 

3. Jihad fi sabili laah ( Jihad in the name of Allah)

 

There was this incident that occured during the lifetime of our Holy Prophet. Among the Sahabis, there was this man ( I don't remember his name) who was very well known for his pious, virtue and his love for Allah. He basically did all that was required of him and much more. One day his wife came to the Mohamed scw, and told him that her husband was dying. The Prophet sent Bilal (ra) & Ali (ra) to check up on the man. When they got to the house of the dying man, they saw that his case was critical and that he was gonna die any moment. They being muslims tried to get him say the Shahada...but ironically he couldn't.. And this was not a good sign. So Ali sent Bilal back to Mohamed scw, and Mohamed sent for the dying man's mother, his only living parent. Mohamed asked her about his behavior towards them(tha parents). She said he was basically everything a mother would want her son to be, but when it came to the matters that concerned his wife, he always sided with his wife. And that is something she doesn't like, and was hurt very much by it. Mohamed scw knew wat the reason was for the man's inability to say the Shahada. He told the mother, " Anyone who does harm to his parents may go to Hell".. Having heard this, the mother got concerned and said that she forgives her son of any harm he might have caused her. Mohamed said that he would know if she means wat she said, if the man says the Shahada before he dies. He sent Bilal back to Ali to try to make the dying man say the Shahada...and when Bilal got there, the man was already saying the Shahada. And then it was clear that the mother's heart was clean towards her son.

 

This tells us how important mothers and not to forget fathers are to Allah.. so why not try to please them. You can always find another love..it just takes time. So my advice would be to 4get about that woman and marry one which his parents are happy with. Then Allah will surely bless him and his family.

[Pacifist]

Jazakallah Nur, hibo and others. This was very insiteful. Indeed true wariid is very important in our lives. Inkasto abo diintay allahu naxariso janatul firdos ka waraabi amin.. Walahi Allah comes first and then My mother, she is the one person more than anybody I value her advise. You can never repay your parents. Show love, respect, kindness and all to them.

 

Hibo thanks abayo I thank you for info. I learned something new thanks again

[Final_Say]

thanks hibo, ur a darlin

 

and i won't ask u again, so thank you!!

 

hey my somali is get better since i joined dis place, but it takes me yrs to read one sentence, den have to find dem somali english dictionary to find da meaning of every other word!! by then u don't wanna know, the mood has died!!

 

i've never needed to speak or read somali (apart frm the aayoos at da mosque; all dey ever ask is ma fincianah, and salam iigu dehi iislamih (are u okay, say hi to the old ladies for me) and few other questions or two!!

 

but i'm going back next summer and watch my somali will be much better den urs inshallah (if dats possible it looks like a somali book frm 1970s)

 

salam

[Nur]

Any Love stricken NOMAD in this crowd?

 

Dont suffer alone, let everyone on this forum help you with your dilemma, you will be surprised how many advice you can get online, just dont ask them to send you money to dig a well in Garasbaalley, Nomads I have known in this water hole will discuss every topic except Kheiri ( philanthropy) work, Sadaqa or helping others, is not their harrob caano geel.

 

 

Nur

[Nur]

Didi kong Sis.

 

Note: I HAVE ERASED YOUR POST BY MISTAKE, WHILE TRYING TO RESPOND TO YOU, SORRY SIS.

 

Didi

 

Such a great name! and face! so colorful, and happy! First of all welcome to our family at Somaliaonline islam pages, from my limited exposure of your writing, I believe that you have a gift from Allah that you should share, you may not be a Nomad yet, but as you stick to your ground and speak your mind with such a brilliant clarity, I believe that Allah will add knowledge to your knowledge, just keep Satan at bay, he will come and tell you that you are good, and one day you wake up and say : Daamn! I am Gooooood!, and that will be the end of a great pereson. I know, because I have my own bouts with Satan, I have to remind myself on a daily basis, that what I share is a gift from Allah SWT, its a RIZQ, and it meeds that I thank him by himbly sharing with others knowing that I may be carrying knowledge to people who are better than me in Allah's eyes, so that feeling keeps my satan in check, likewise, keep yours in check and inshaAllah we shall all benefit.

 

Now, to your question, we are all narcisastic to a degree, that is why at times i escape everybody and have fun with my self by running alone, enjoying a nice meal alone, just to be with myself, I have hard time scheduling time with myself, because, I am always busy with others.

 

If you want to diagnose if you are indeed love stricken, which is a desease that attacks few Somaliaonline browsers, then please click on the following link, and share with us your assessment of your condition, we wish you happiness wherever you are.

 

http://www.somaliaonline.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=000836

 

 

Nur