Meher-keeda?

[wyre]

According to where you stay, sxb 7000 is not much, but make sure she's not from dhul gaalo otherwise 7000 waxey isu beddeli 7 months in Xabsi

[Naxar Nugaaleed]

don't be cheap, decide on the of the meher based on what you can afford

[BOB]

No disrespect but I think this is one of the main reason why marriage amongst our people has become a big joke, most girls are pressurised by family and friends to demand such a high meher without having the faintest of idea whether the groom can actually afford it or not, it’s become so bad that some grooms are forced to go and get a loan with unreasonably high interest (who cares if its haram).

 

If you can afford it, it’s cool pay it but if not then sit the girl down and explain to her that you can’t and (I’d advice you to do this away from her family and friends and never ever tell her that over the phone) if she loves you and seriously wants to get married then I’m sure she’ll compromise. Pray to god inaad mother-in-law wacan hesho, they ruin more marriages than lust does to teenage girls. Best of luck my brother.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[NGONGE]

^^ And after a year of marraige, only the groom is the one who can remember how much he paid. The rest of the people all move on to the next girl and next fool who is willing to pay whatever is asked.

 

PLASTIC FLOWRS for all.

[STOIC]

Ngonge, remind me the story you told us once where a sijui dude refused to sign the papers when the amount of meher exceeded what was orgininal agreed on...I remember mine where my a wife (a first class clueless fish&chips) didn't know she was supposed to say how much her meher will be...I had to explain to her and she had to make a frantic call to her sister to ask what she should ask..I was praying the older sister (who has been around many Somalis) will not corrupt her...at the end it all worked out.Of course mother-in-law assumed we already talked about it...thats when i knew i got a good deal...haha

[wyre]

Just marry a hindi girl and get meher instead of giving

[Blessed]

Sadly, many of our women place their value on a number but our deen guides us to spend within our means, give even an iron ring...

 

LOL@Stoic. Sounds familiar.

[Malika]

Spring is here huh?

 

Ngonge - plastic flower for every occasion?

 

If the meher is paid then and there is worth the hassle of asking for somethng worthy - hadhii kale uu qalee the soon to be hubby and stay realistic. I mean, one knows who their marrying - so why create these false expectation by being high maintanance sorta bride.

[Juxa]

Waxan ka yaabey us women meel aan waxba ool buu magac naga raacaa...

[Bluelicious]

STOIC;807011 wrote:

Ngonge, remind me the story you told us once where a sijui dude refused to sign the papers when the amount of meher exceeded what was orgininal agreed on...I remember mine where my a wife (a first class clueless fish&chips) didn't know she was supposed to say how much her meher will be...I had to explain to her and she had to make a frantic call to her sister to ask what she should ask..I was praying the older sister (who has been around many Somalis) will not corrupt her...at the end it all worked out.Of course mother-in-law assumed we already talked about it...thats when i knew i got a good deal...haha

Lol I didn't know either that you have to say how much you want your meher to be I found out about it on Sol. Always thought the guy comes up with the money. Thanks for letting me know and saving me for a big mistake

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

So, Blue, how much are you planning to ask the future xaaji now?

[Narniah]

If you have the means you should pay what is within your means. My brother got married last summer he paid 7k as mehr and my parents gave him as a gift 10k so it's cool if your parents can help you out too.

[Bluelicious]

Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar;807295 wrote:

So, Blue, how much are you planning to ask the future xaaji now?

Well MMA it depends on his financial status and whether he is debt free or has alot of financial responsibilities such as alot of expensive bills to pay and supporting family. Bearing that in mind I would probably ask for the following after i've done my calculations about the things I mentioned. My aim is to have a debt free start and live a life without financial burdens

 

If he turns to be:

 

Poor: € 3000

Middle class: € 6000

Rich: € 8000

 

Ps: I would donate 1/3 of my meher money to the poor and needy because I think it's important to give back to the poor needy if you have a large sum of money it's our responsibility. By doing so you also gain alot of good deeds and it purifies your money which will in turn increase your money over time.

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Sadex kun euro ma xumo. It is a start. But ogoow meher money la isma siiyo isla markii. Vast majority of Soomaalida pay it later, especially kis kis u bixiyaan. Qaarkoodna maba bixiyaan, oo markee i fur dhahdo ayee ku xujeyaan haddee furitaan rabaan, then they should forgive and forget their meher. They put her in a rock and hard place. Usually, the sisters choose in la furo and jaamacyaasha gleefully don't pay.

 

That is why guurka u sahlanyahay in la isku furo these days. And it is abuse of xaqeeda, too. Wadaadada kuwa sheegto ayaa ka koow ah who abuse this, naaga afar afar u guursadana.

 

By the way, you also also need to add this: Gabdhaha usually also want a set of dahab minimum, some want several sets. Marka if meherka is $7,000 using the thread starter's number, plus another $4,000 for the dahab. That is a lot nooh.

[BN]

The problem is when both a large dowry and large wedding are asked for. This places a lot of pressures and stress on couples, and young men in particular, and is detrimental to their future success. Somalis sometimes have misplaced priorities...