Matrimonial Kiosk

[xabad]

sheikh sharm-arke, what do you say about cohabitation? its cheaper for the youth nowadays, these weddings cost an arm and a leg.

[Haatu]

Your just jealous that I have the youth you so desire

[Bluelicious]

sharma-arke451;905389 wrote:

@blue, jokes don't hold. new solutions are available, but vary depending on specific problems.

 

for example: economic reality should click right. a man spends what he has. demanding beyond what is in possession, is not right. it may lead to divorce.

 

illustration : a teen girl falls in love with a handsome, ethically upright man, in his late twenties. the girl hails from a poor family, equally hassan, the man she fall in love with. hassan is a hardworking gentleman, who leaves no stone unturned to change the economic situation of his family. he tries all avenues possible to seek a sound well paying job, but since he has no one in the ranks, his efforts are futile.

 

one fine friday afternoon, axado, the teen girl, meets hassan. they discuss at length about the beauty of having a prosperous family and the obstacles that face them. the pros and the cons of early marriage and the matrimonial life. after the charming talk, they decided to put time frame in their proposal, and that by friday, she will introduce him to her parents.

 

as normal hassan kept on looking for the job throughout the week. luckily, he got the opportunity to be a night watchman at liiban hotel in the neighborhood. he started the job with charisma and efficiency. he got the chance to know people. he interacted with his workmates. days passed, and Friday was just hours to go.

 

by friday, hassan meets the parents of axado. they welcome him. and after a brief interaction the session ends. after he has gone, the parents call axado, telling her about their findings. they told her about their economic condition, and how they can't support her daughters wedding party. they told her the place of wealth in life, and that it facilitates ease, and since hassan is a poor man as their family, she should look for other alternatives. hearing this, axado was furious with her parents, blaming them of not respecting her comfort partner in life, and the inferiority of wealth. she told them that money neither buys happiness nor love. and so on.

the parents accepted their daughters will and told her that, theirs was just guidance and the final decision lied in her.

 

to cut along story short, their due date came. as the norm, their wedding party costs was contributed by their family and friends alike. everything happened as planned. they became a wife and husband.

 

walil xadiithi baqiyah. hadaan soo laabto

Looks good

[sharma-arke451]

~~~~~ a wife and husband they became. i mean axado and hassan. new life began. its early stage is marked with restraint and understanding. hassan struggled more to make sure he meets the ever increasing economic needs of his newly formed family. life was tough. his hopes shrunk, when he lost his job, because his boss felt the need to employ his keen and forsake hassan. his hard work and talent was no longer useful, since hiring ceased to be on merit, rather on linkages. the responsibility on his shoulders brought him sleepless nights. many thoughts crossed his mind, but ethics was his source of power and hope. he tried all ways possible to provide for the family, but the harder he tried, the narrow his hopes became. and the worst came when the list of needs of axado doubled. she would demand beyond what hassan can offer. he reasoned with her many times, that she should limit her needs according to their capacity, and that spending more than their income will burden them with debts. all this fell on deaf ear. she insisted, there is no short cut to living. he either provides what she needed, or she relieves him the responsibility.

hassan tried all avenues possible to convince her that as long as he is trying, and working hard, she owed him perseverance and understanding. all his effort bet dead end. he involved her parents, they too failed to convince her.

the break became inevitable. gabadhi waa la furay.

 

adi si dheh

[Tallaabo]

I think there should be a supermarket style automatic kiosk for those people who want to have a cheap stress free marriage. This is what it should be like:

 

Kiosk: “Please press this button to start”

Couple: Click

Kiosk: “Welcome to Express Matrimonial Services. Please read the terms and conditions before you proceed to register your marriage and press the ok button if you agree. Press the back button to go to the previous section. ”

Couple: Click

Kiosk: “Please enter your full names and press next to continue”

Couple: [Faarax Warsame Aw Warfaa] [Xaliimo Jaamac Macalin Dhutiye] Click

Kiosk: “Please enter your date of birth and press next”

Couple: [01/01/1990] [01/01/1992] Click

Kiosk: “Please enter your clans and press next”

Couple: [HAG] [Azania] Click

Kiosk: “Service denied until further notice. Please re-enter a different clan or press cancel to exit the service”

Couple: [HAG] [secessionist] Click

Kiosk: “ Xaliimo, please enter your proposed meher and press next”

Couple: [100 camels] Click

Kiosk: “Faarax, do you agree with this choice? If yes press next, otherwise press exit”

Couple: Click

Kiosk: “Faarax, do you take Xaliimo as your wife? If yes press next, otherwise press exit”

Couple: Click

Kiosk: “Xaliimo, do you take Faarax as your husband and forsake all others? If yes press next, otherwise press exit”

Couple: Click

Kiosk: “ With the powers vested in me I now declare you husband and wife. Press finish to complete your order”

Couple: Click

Kiosk: “Please take your receipt and thank you for using this service. Goodbye”

[Aaliyyah]

sharma-arke451;906009 wrote:

~~~~~ a wife and husband they became. i mean axado and hassan. new life began. its early stage is marked with restraint and understanding. hassan struggled more to make sure he meets the ever increasing economic needs of his newly formed family. life was tough. his hopes shrunk, when he lost his job, because his boss felt the need to employ his keen and forsake hassan. his hard work and talent was no longer useful, since hiring ceased to be on merit, rather on linkages. the responsibility on his shoulders brought him sleepless nights. many thoughts crossed his mind, but ethics was his source of power and hope. he tried all ways possible to provide for the family, but the harder he tried, the narrow his hopes became. and the worst came when the list of needs of axado doubled. she would demand beyond what hassan can offer. he reasoned with her many times, that she should limit her needs according to their capacity, and that spending more than their income will burden them with debts. all this fell on deaf ear. she insisted, there is no short cut to living. he either provides what she needed, or she relieves him the responsibility.

hassan tried all avenues possible to convince her that as long as he is trying, and working hard, she owed him perseverance and understanding. all his effort bet dead end. he involved her parents, they too failed to convince her.

the break became inevitable. gabadhi waa la furay.

 

adi si dheh

Wax is furay moyaane Somaalidu horta wax wanaagsan ma ka hadlaan. We have the tendency to focus on the negative aspects.

 

Bal sheko happilly ever after ku dhamaatey nosoo qor..xita so alif LOL..

[sharma-arke451]

tallaabo are you saying, some tribes cannot marry each other??? i believe marriage should be tribal neutral.

 

@aaliyyah, my beloved sis, Lol. Are you saying marriage should be eternal????? Che and juxa believe it must have an expiry date, whats your take??

Anyway, it was an illustration on how, lack of economic reality can destroy a household. We spend what we have, and shape our needs according to our capacity. not an inflated expenditure order, against a negative balance sheet,,,, dee economic sense camal.

[Haatu]

lol Tallaabo I know a lot of couples who would be angry at the denial

 

Sharma'arke, next story!

[xabad]

[Aaliyyah]

sharma-arke451;906123 wrote:

tallaabo are you saying, some tribes cannot marry each other??? i believe marriage should be tribal neutral.

 

@aaliyyah, my beloved sis, Lol. Are you saying marriage should be eternal????? Che and juxa believe it must have an expiry date, whats your take??

Anyway, it was an illustration on how, lack of economic reality can destroy a household. We spend what we have, and shape our needs according to our capacity. not an inflated expenditure order, against a negative balance sheet,,,, dee economic sense camal.

This life itself is not eternal, laakin inti alle kusiiyo you shouldn't take marriage lightly and put all your effort to keep and maintain your family. The prophet csw said the most hated halaal by Allah swt is divorce. Divorce should be your last resort after you exhausted all other alternatives.

 

And, your story illustrated well the point you were trying to convey.

[sharma-arke451]

aaliyyah, somali wexeey kumahmaahdaa, ''kheyr wax kaama dhibee, shar utoog haay''

The current marriage rate is high, yet the monster is eating up the household. The divorce rate is higher than before. This brings us to a new reality, hence why it is important we dig down the real cause of divorce.

Divorce is hard reality we can't ignore. This doesn't mean we appreciate or in any manner condone it.

 

4) the in-law factor. This is a very sensitive factor that dictates the stability of a household. It all depends on their kind. The better in laws one has, the longer the stability, the bad they are, the higher the chances of conflict, and reason to act.

Whether it is the wife, treating a mother in law bad, or the mother of the husband demanding for the divorce of the girl,

Or the sisters of the husband insisting the wife to serve them, or spreading a falsehood against the wife,,,,,, whichever the way, good in laws are a treasure, while bad ones, a weed in a field of rice.

 

Allow sahal umuuraha.

[Tallaabo]

sharma-arke451;906123 wrote:

tallaabo are you saying, some tribes cannot marry each other??? i believe marriage should be tribal neutral.

@aaliyyah, my beloved sis, Lol. Are you saying marriage should be eternal????? Che and juxa believe it must have an expiry date, whats your take??

Anyway, it was an illustration on how, lack of economic reality can destroy a household. We spend what we have, and shape our needs according to our capacity. not an inflated expenditure order, against a negative balance sheet,,,, dee economic sense camal.

It is not me saying it Mr Sharmarke it is the result of the Jubbaland crisis. Apparently, some extremists programmed the damn machine to reflect their anger.

[sharma-arke451]

@ tallaabo, lol. i hope you ain't among the extremist some

 

5) maseer. i won' call it jealous, because that will deplete its meaning. maseer is the feeling of contentment. the feeling of being robbed an integral right, and morale breach. it comes in many folds, mostly in the form of a second wife. when a man gets a second wife while the first wife is at large and charming, difficult in the shape of behavior knocks the door, and comes in without being let or cleared. stressful times will make up good part of your daily life, and the sum of all this, may yield a break. it is most devastating, when the man has not met some of his duties, or even the first family is struggling will life.be it financially, or even morale support.

 

the second wife issue comes mostly from men, and at times from women. the men are naturally tempted to have a second wife, without putting brain into it, just for the sake, while some women accept to be a second wife, and narrow the survival parameter of the first wife. whichever the case, maseer is a serious monster, that have the appetite to eat up the household completely, without left overs.

 

 

6) marrying a relative without dulqaad.

[Aaliyyah]

sharma-arke451;906467 wrote:

aaliyyah, somali wexeey kumahmaahdaa, ''kheyr wax kaama dhibee, shar utoog haay''

The current marriage rate is high, yet the monster is eating up the household. The divorce rate is higher than before. This brings us to a new reality, hence why it is important we dig down the real cause of divorce.

Divorce is hard reality we can't ignore. This doesn't mean we appreciate or in any manner condone it.

 

4) the in-law factor. This is a very sensitive factor that dictates the stability of a household. It all depends on their kind. The better in laws one has, the longer the stability, the bad they are, the higher the chances of conflict, and reason to act.

Whether it is the wife, treating a mother in law bad, or the mother of the husband demanding for the divorce of the girl,

Or the sisters of the husband insisting the wife to serve them, or spreading a falsehood against the wife,,,,,, whichever the way, good in laws are a treasure, while bad ones, a weed in a field of rice.

 

Allow sahal umuuraha.

Somaalina waxay ku maahmaahda balaayo ku jeedin ha u yeedhan ( or did I make that up LOL). Either way, it is good to be balanced and to discuss everything..we Somalis have the tendency to exaggerate our issues. Don't get me wrong though waa xaq in dhibta somaali haysata laga hadlo and believe me if u read through many of my old posts I did that...wayna wacantahay in la dhoho xalkuna waa sidan. Laakin marmarka qaar bal waxaan ku waangsanahay aan ka hadalno. That's all I was saying..

As for in-laws clearly a loving in-laws will help you keep and maintain your family. Somaali waxay aminsantahay qof lama guursadee reer baa la guursadaa. Diinta qudheeda marka la leeyahay gabadh afar lugu guursada (Afarta nasab baa soo gasha soma aha yacni reerka ay kasoo jeedo)

 

P.s Ameen to your du'a

[sharma-arke451]

AALIYYAH, waan isfahanay huuno. waxaan jeclaa, bal inaad kor ujaleecdo qormada. warkeeyga wuxuu badanaa tibaxaayay kasoo bilaaw marku nin ama gabadhi eey hana qaado, oo gurdoon noqoto, qaab hadalka iyo shukaansiga, ilaa guur. kama bilaawin qormada astaamaha iyo sababta guurka uu uburburo, ee war ayaa iiga horeeyay.

 

6)marrying a relative without dulqaad.this entails a primary condition for marrying a relative. if you can't be tolerant enough beyond reasonable limits, then never think of even marrying a relative. i mean an extra dulqaad. for sure dulqaad is a requirement for marriage, but when marrying a relative, it becomes more important, because once a conflict sets in, then it means choosing between a miserable life and your kins. waa goan adag.