Matrimonial Kiosk

[sharma-arke451]

the challenges of a household comes in many folds, mainly factors before and after marriage.

 

main factors

 

1) a girl accepts to marry a man, who has nothing and hassles around with life. she says '' i love him. he is my perfect partner''. she is aware of his economic status and financial privilege. she accepts him as he is. the marriage ceremony costs are contributed by the friends and family. alhamdulilah, they become a household. once they settle, she expects him to supply A,B & C items, of which the aggregate financial consideration is huge. failure to which, she demands a break.

hadee shale, adaa kuraacayeey, maxaa maanta isbadalay? sow maadan ku ogeen?

 

2) The man is nice and humble during courtship. he is kind and occupies a noble niche. the manhood pressure keeps him high, though hidden. after the marriage takes place, his true color appears in the horizon, because his needs are quenched. and he is no longer the former him. he becomes indifferent to good, and sows conflict in any avenue possible.

nin bogsaday, balan fur

 

maxa kale hee,,,,,,

[Malika]

^What about this scenerio : man and woman marry, isago wax baa hayniin - they struggle together through life, he gets a break finally - becomes a Mr Big somewhere - he starts thinking he is all that and plus, forgetting where he came from - magac marku yeeshee ayuu islantii naa kuu kibree - busy with his new found 'friends' and 'fame' - reerkiisaa naa kaafogadhee[sp]...the circle of destruction begins.....few years, divorce another minyaro, children suffering, isagu xoolihii iyo 'fame' kii naa baabaee ayuu islanti hoore kuso noqonayah expecting to be cared for by her children and her...ish!

 

seen this happen..

[Malika]

^Ha. there is some element of 'selfishness' in you maa iistidhii?..Lol

[Malika]

^I wish I could agree - cant relate to it though..lol

[Haatu]

Selfish b@stard

 

Nice thread sharma'arke. Very helpful.

[Malika]

^That I have seen - and they do it very well too! The poor 'suckers' that get caught in between iyagaa uu taal..lol

[Bluelicious]

sharma-arke451;905245 wrote:

the challenges of a household comes in many folds, mainly factors before and after marriage.

 

main factors

 

1) a girl accepts to marry a man, who has nothing and hassles around with life. she says '' i love him. he is my perfect partner''. she is aware of his economic status and financial privilege. she accepts him as he is. the marriage ceremony costs are contributed by the friends and family. alhamdulilah, they become a household. once they settle, she expects him to supply A,B & C items, of which the aggregate financial consideration is huge. failure to which, she demands a break.

hadee shale, adaa kuraacayeey, maxaa maanta isbadalay? sow maadan ku ogeen?

 

2) The man is nice and humble during courtship. he is kind and occupies a noble niche. the manhood pressure keeps him high, though hidden. after the marriage takes place, his true color appears in the horizon, because his needs are quenched. and he is no longer the former him. he becomes indifferent to good, and sows conflict in any avenue possible.

nin bogsaday, balan fur

 

maxa kale hee,,,,,,

What do you suggest for a solution?

[sharma-arke451]

Malika;905268 wrote:

^What about this scenerio : man and woman marry, isago wax baa hayniin - they struggle together through life, he gets a break finally - becomes a Mr Big somewhere - he starts thinking he is all that and plus, forgetting where he came from - magac marku yeeshee ayuu islantii naa kuu kibree - busy with his new found 'friends' and 'fame' - reerkiisaa naa kaafogadhee[sp]...the circle of destruction begins.....few years, divorce another minyaro, children suffering, isagu xoolihii iyo 'fame' kii naa baabaee ayuu islanti hoore kuso noqonayah expecting to be cared for by her children and her...ish!

 

seen this happen..

a perfect observation. such scenarios happen. the central theme is interest and insincerity, albeit being few in number. daneeste aya sameeyo.

 

3) conflict and disagreement prepare the marriage for failure. not in their essence, but failure to manage and limit them. conflict is part and parcel of life, and life minus it, is something with no definition. actually disagreements help someone understand life better. therefore, it is certain that in a marital relationship, disagreement will arise, irrespective of the magnitude. the partners have to develop a mechanism to handle it, rather than treating it, as a trigger to capital D. I mean divorce.

the principle of disagreement is taken to a different height when a partner expects/assumes a perfect conduct from the other, as if he/she is an angel. unless you accept disagreement, your feelings will be hostage for anger and revenge. hence, this principle lays the benchmark for forgiveness/revenge. it is human to err,

 

in lais gafo, nolasha ayeey kamid tahay, qofkana waa inuu aqbalaa. lakiin hadaad soo istaagto, sidee laiigu gafi karaa, nolasha wad kadhici.

[sharma-arke451]

Bluelicious;905344 wrote:

What do you suggest for a solution?

allow me to say, Dear blue, welcome back horta.

 

solution: go for mr. Nice like Haatu,,,,,,,,,,, lol. joking

[Bluelicious]

sharma-arke451;905355 wrote:

allow me to say, Dear blue, welcome back horta.

 

solution: go for mr. Nice like Haatu,,,,,,,,,,, lol. joking

Thanks for the warm welcome nice to see you too. Going for mr nice that's nothing new I thought maybe you had some new interesting theory or something.

[Nin-Yaaban]

Sharmarke, nimanka hada guurdoonka ah, mawaxaa fiicaan ineey wadankii kulaabtaan ooy kasoo guursadaan mise meesheey ku noolyihiin?

[sharma-arke451]

@blue, jokes don't hold. new solutions are available, but vary depending on specific problems.

 

for example: economic reality should click right. a man spends what he has. demanding beyond what is in possession, is not right. it may lead to divorce.

 

illustration : a teen girl falls in love with a handsome, ethically upright man, in his late twenties. the girl hails from a poor family, equally hassan, the man she fall in love with. hassan is a hardworking gentleman, who leaves no stone unturned to change the economic situation of his family. he tries all avenues possible to seek a sound well paying job, but since he has no one in the ranks, his efforts are futile.

 

one fine friday afternoon, axado, the teen girl, meets hassan. they discuss at length about the beauty of having a prosperous family and the obstacles that face them. the pros and the cons of early marriage and the matrimonial life. after the charming talk, they decided to put time frame in their proposal, and that by friday, she will introduce him to her parents.

 

as normal hassan kept on looking for the job throughout the week. luckily, he got the opportunity to be a night watchman at liiban hotel in the neighborhood. he started the job with charisma and efficiency. he got the chance to know people. he interacted with his workmates. days passed, and Friday was just hours to go.

 

by friday, hassan meets the parents of axado. they welcome him. and after a brief interaction the session ends. after he has gone, the parents call axado, telling her about their findings. they told her about their economic condition, and how they can't support her daughters wedding party. they told her the place of wealth in life, and that it facilitates ease, and since hassan is a poor man as their family, she should look for other alternatives. hearing this, axado was furious with her parents, blaming them of not respecting her comfort partner in life, and the inferiority of wealth. she told them that money neither buys happiness nor love. and so on.

the parents accepted their daughters will and told her that, theirs was just guidance and the final decision lied in her.

 

to cut along story short, their due date came. as the norm, their wedding party costs was contributed by their family and friends alike. everything happened as planned. they became a wife and husband.

 

walil xadiithi baqiyah. hadaan soo laabto

[sharma-arke451]

Nin-Yaaban;905367 wrote:

Sharmarke, nimanka hada guurdoonka ah, mawaxaa fiicaan ineey wadankii kulaabtaan ooy kasoo guursadaan mise meesheey ku noolyihiin?

to begin with, the primary aim of marriage is to stay stable for long. definitely, children,parenthood, happiness,comfort, etc, too are the aim.

 

having said that, it will really vary, depending on many factors, like; time,people,wealth, personality, experience, and etc

i would personally recommend meeshu joogo inuu kaguursado, for the following;

 

many factors will play to your disadvantage, like time, people and experience. though wealth may play to your advantage. for personality it depends.

what i mean is;

time will play against you in that, women have a limited fertility life, and to them time is a crucial factor, a life saving one. they fight menopause by time. in lala joogo ayeey jecelyihiin. should i change time with gender, i don't think.

 

people demolish households. in two main ways, to either take advantage of the absence and engage the wife or the husband for that matter, and seek sexual favors, or either incite. your absence will be a weak point in the household membrane, hence it will let in viruses that eat up the immune system of the family

 

experience, qof guursaday, lajooga ayuu jecel yahay, halagaa maqnaado, weey adagtahay.

 

wealth may play to your favor, by at least meeting the financial needs of your family. it can too play against you, in that, calool dhargan weey tikaami, mida baahanna, cuntoo umbeey kafakartaa. i hope you get what i mean.

 

personality dictates the perseverance of someone to trials of life. be it moral or material. the more tolerant a partner is, the better.

 

p.s. raga diwadaha ka imaado oo afrika usoo guurdoonto, badankooda, am saying badankooda, waa laga fiican yahay.

[Haatu]

Keep it coming sxb. I've learnt a lot of useful stuff from here.

 

Apo, you will die as a very sad, saaaaad, lonely old man if you don't change

[Haatu]

Oh the loneliness will eat at you till you become suicidal. I've seen many old people wish that they only had people to talk to regularly. Beware.