Sharing Scarce Resources ( Somali Husbands)

[Wiilo]

Of course with good intentions, I dont see anything wrong with polygamy or even promoting the idea

[juba]

ofcourse you don't! why is it that i never see women doing the same? :rolleyes:

[Nur]

Guardian sis

 

Walaalo, I dont have stats of male female ratios of broken up Somalia, but from observation ( and I could well be wrong) , I believe that there are far higher number of women in Somalia than men. The ratio is even higher for Somali expats living in North America, Europe, Middle east and Australia.

 

The reason of this imbalance is as follows.

 

* There is a generational gap, Males born in the 70s, the ideal candidates for marrying 20 something women (maturity matched) were in their early twenties when the civil war broke out, they were predisposed to being either killed, injured or mentally incapacitated, those remaining were either practicing Muslims or liberals, if they became liberals, chances are that great many of them do not see starting up a family as a priority, if they were practicing, chances are they are already married, unless they enjoy fasting as a way of life.

 

* the second factor is that by far Somali women are noticeably successful and respectful compared to their male peers, more educated and purposeful in life. Even if the numbers are close, the intellectual gap is far apart.

 

If the above makes sense, we need a solution, because 5 years down the road, some blooming flowers may not see the sunlight , unless they think laterally, by not conforming to status quo.

 

I believe, happiness is a measure of how much of ones expectations one attains, the lower we hold that rope, the happier, the higher we hold it, the more dissatisfied. And that is my argument.

 

 

Juba walaalo

 

I am only suggesting polygamy as a solution for some women, not all, like any remedy, only the affected should consider it, if you are not yet married you ave the choice of making it clear to your future hubby that if he ever contemplats another woman that he should forget about you, which is the norm, so you can live happy ever after, or if you are a daring lil lady, you can be the fourth and final love, completing the ring. so, for different folks, different strokes.

 

Wiilo walaalo,

 

I know your opinion is not well represented, but knowing our Somali women, i feel that your lone voice may represent many silent viewers, if this can help some Nomads, feel happy and have healthy kids, I would be thankful to Allah for using me to say what I belive to be right no matter how unpopular, and only for his sake.

 

 

Nur

[Alle-ubaahne]

Originally posted by pearl:

this topic is going no where....for one we all agree its halal....but thats not the issue here...the main cause for this whole topic is trying to remove our stand on preference.... the amount of effort that is put in by bother nur and those alike in trying to take away our god given right of personal choice is just ridiculous.....

 

 

bothers let me say it for one last time..."stop forcing this down ur throats"

Abaayo, there is no better time to do this than now. So don't worry, we gonna rock on you ladies!

[sheherazade]

I know your opinion is not well represented, but knowing our Somali women, i feel that your lone voice may represent many silent viewers

 

Brother, don't fool yourself. If you're not hearing what you want to, it's not because it is being kept silent.

[-Serenity-]

Nur, walaalo, I agree with everything you've said. Laakin, talking of Somalis in the west, dont you know that Polygamy is illigal? and it carries a whole lot of criminal convictions? Why would you be asking these Somalis who had been so graciously welcomed and integrated into their respective societies to break the law? I dont know how this so lightly escaped your keen observation. Mise, waxaad is lahayd/ ka fikireysey - one woman in every city/country? LOL.

If the above makes sense, we need a solution, because 5 years down the road, some blooming flowers may not see the sunlight.

or if you are a daring lil lady, you can be the fourth and final love,

completing the ring

 

ROTFLMAO. Alla beerka. LA-LA land must be a wonderful place to live.

 

Anyways, walaalo, for all of us to come to a mutual understanding, lets keep personal opinions on the side (and plenty of these coming from you,there is nothing remotely religion-oriented about this post of yours) and talk about polygamy for what it is – solution to a problem(one that I still insist isnt as prevalent as you make it out to be), not the fulfilment of sexual fantasies. A contract that 1st and foremost must respect the sanctity of a current marriage. A Responsibility taken for the love of Allah and for the betterment of all parties involved.

[NGONGE]

^^^^ Since when did Somalis have their marriages registered, GnP?

The laws of these lands prohibit multiple marriages not cohabitation. In the eyes of the laws of these lands, most Married Somalis (Muslims) are cohabiting rather than being really married. So, no laws are broken (I think).

 

 

Edit:

 

Asnwer:

 

I started this thread to help others, in their faith and life, addressing taboos and untouchables topics, thinking outside of the box, I knew all along that I would be accused of having a personal agenda, which initially was not my idea, but after reading your witty response, and concidering my deep desire of increasing number of intelligent Somalis, I am seriously thinking of an exception to that rule, intelligent women like you can not be resisted, and knowing how convincing I can be in person, neither can a lady like you resist when i put together a value proposition, so convincingly that the only objection a lady can have would be to say "how soon"?.

 

Much respect

 

 

Nur

Get your coat GnP, looks like you've pulled

[-Serenity-]

So you are a saying Somalis dont legally marry? And therefore dont enjoy the benefits a legal marriage can bring - financial and what not?

 

Legal Marriages - Benefits

 

p.s. Those who dont register do it for reasons known. However, for our discussion, they r out of our range since most of them dont cut it financially for polygamy...nooh?

[NGONGE]

^^^ There are no great benefits there! Have you actually read the link?

Anyway, I was not taking part in this discussion; I was just highlighting the fact that not many Somalis are “married†in the western sense.

[-Serenity-]

^^ Would you like me to break it down for u?

[Nur]

Guardiana Walaalo

 

Like Ndugu Ngonge said earlier, laws in the west are like Swiss cheese, they are sinfully delecious, you can put them together in any way you like to suit your self and particularly, like the holes in a Swiss cheese, they are full of loop holes, so, Nomads learn fast how to suit their lifestyle according to the letter of the law, not the moral of the law which evaporated eons ago as same sex marriages is now overlooked with president Clinton's famous " Dont ask, Dont Tell" dirctive to the armed forces screening new conscripts.

 

Once Polygamy is seen as a solution by the parties involved, the constitution of the land protects their rights of cohabitation as long as they are in pursuit of happiness. There is no limit of number of partners in a civil relationships, so a Somali Quattro need only to declare the First Lady like President Clinton, while the Second Lady, Third Lady and Fourth Lady are presented as "Freinds" of the family. However unlike Clinton, the Ladies will be in Halaal relationship according to The Sheikh, which is one reason this thread is addressing religion.

 

Walaalo, Religion in Latin is translated as NIXLA in Arabic, not DEEN, Deen and Nihla are different, while Deen means a way of life in Arabic, Nihla simply means rituals for worship for a higher being, either way, both haved a lot to do with marriage and specially Polygamy in our case, because, the only way religion would be outta sight would be by talking about Zinaa courtship of a man and a woman which is not what this thread was all about.

 

As a matter of fact my intention in this thread was to help women not entertain the idea of illegal means of sexual pleasurewhile there is an alternative Halaal way like polygamy, specially when a young lonely Somali woman finds herself with signals of carnal desires trigerred by living in a society that worships sexuality in public. A billboard in London advertises a sign that encourages women to attract good looking men by increasing the size of their boobs.

 

My readers usually get confused about my posts, and if you are not careful, you wouldnt know reality from imagination, because my style of addressing islam is unorthodox, so for you to think this was not about religion made me happy in a way, Alhamdulillah, it works, it is called the e-Nuri Institute and Corporation, i challenge accepted norms, not for self gratification, but to question reasons and drivers behind our actions, as to clarify the Quraan and Sunnah in finding the staright path.

 

 

Nur

[Baashi]

Nur,

I do really appreciate your post and your intentions to challenge the nomads with “out of box†suggestions. Now I have several questions on this “out of box†suggestion. Suppose I tied the knot with the 2nd wife. Suppose I practice “don’t tell†policy. Now here in US from the time the mother is admitted to the hospital to right after the child is born, the mother and father will be answering or rather be filling out medical and legal papers. Among them, are you married? and to whom? Given the fact that polygamy is illegal, should one lie about the marriage? I’ve never seen myself but I’ve heard veiled Muslim sisters insisting on that their kids born out of wedlock (the father is simply a boyfriend)– a blatant lie!

 

On the benefit issue, it is very important one. The second wife and her kids are not eligible for the medical insurance. I don’t know where you live but here in US having to pay these premiums out of pocket is huge financial burden. Now I understand the financial burden can be solved with wealth but how on green earth would one go around with the truth? I need some clever nomad to give me an idea of how you deal with the birth certificates without lying. Any “out of box†ideas! Anyone plz do share.

[Nur]

Bashi Bro.

 

You write:

 

" Suppose I tied the knot with the 2nd wife. Suppose I practice “don’t tell†policy. Now here in US from the time the mother is admitted to the hospital to right after the child is born, the mother and father will be answering or rather be filling out medical and legal papers. Among them, are you married? and to whom? Given the fact that polygamy is illegal, should one lie about the marriage?

 

 

Answer:

 

Baashi Walaal, Polygamy is defined by a man holding two certificates of marriage from a government office or a government authorized religious institution. In your scenario, the question the authorities ask has a purpose of pairing the baby with parents, theu do not enforce draconian laws prohibiting polygamy, while Sodomy laws are still on the books and never used against millions of men who practice this lewd relationship.

 

Now, the above should make you comfortable with the idea of taking on a second lady is not tantamount of breaking the constitution. What you should tell is that you live together and love each other in a civil religious arrangement without papers. Marriage is strictly interpreted in the west as a relationship between one man and one woman, but gays use it nowadays and it is winning approval which is paving the way for acceptance of polygamous marriages .

 

Usually, Social workers would record that you are the father, a boy friend and the woman a girlfrind. In case they give you hard time, you can always visit me in Kurtunwaarrey Community Service Center in Somalia where we will issue you a certificate of marriage according to the Sharaia laws, and once our seal is on that piece of paper, your Social worker is supposed to at least acknowldge that this law is legal outside of jurisdication, no law broken locally and reciprocityof foreign civil laws are accepted, even divorces are done off shore to beat the archaic system, when lovers cant wait ayear of separation and they take cruise ships to Barbados, ending a marriage quickly and saying " I do" to another in the same day. Authorities have to recognize your marriage from second lady, if they refuse call me up, I may propose to your Districts Congresswoman if she is single.

 

 

You write:

 

" On the benefit issue, it is very important one. The second wife and her kids are not eligible for the medical insurance. I don’t know where you live but here in US having to pay these premiums out of pocket is huge financial burden.

 

 

Answer:

 

If you read the beginning of this thread, most Khadiijos are well off, they have jobs and their insurances will cover their needs, if the Khadiijo you have in mind is still not self sufficient, then we need to do a lil research of how to insure them legally without telling a tall tale. Meanwhile, there are few options to consider while am doing your research, why not consider moving back to Kurtunwaarrey in Somalia, you dont need insurance, all you need is your morning Dhiker and afternoon Dhiker, I guarantee that you will regain your Twakkal of Allah most people loose living in the west? And that is literally getting OUTTA BOX, the apartment box, the JOB box, the Highway box, the polution box, the TAX box, the Fox news box, so you can smell Camel Milk in its original aroma?.

 

 

Nur

[-Serenity-]

Nur (and co.), I'm disheartened and leave this discussion with a heavy heart. I simply cannot blv you're discussing ways to cheat the system, break the laws of the country you're resident in and probably in the case of a huge percent of the people who will read this reply - a good family home. I joined as your description of a good family home with 4 woman was rather revolting, atleast for me, laakin I didnt bargain for this. Your reasons for pushing this agenda this far are beyond me.

 

Thanks for your replies and have a good one.

[Nur]

Guardian n Protector

 

 

You will be missed, this thread may have not been educational as much as you made it to be, for good or for bad, and now that you have decided to leave, Your screen name is bearing the meaning for which your decsion to leave ws based, you are Guardian of the Secular System, and Protector of laws that conflict with our beliefs in Islam.

 

 

You write:

 

" I simply cannot blv you're discussing ways to cheat the system, break the laws of the country you're resident in and probably in the case of a huge percent of the people who will read this reply - a good family home"

 

 

Answer:

 

The system you are guarding and protecting from cheating allows us to fornicate legally with multiple consenting partners, but we dont, it allows drinking alcohol, again, we dont, it allows all kinds of perversion as long as all parties are consenting, but because we are Muslims, we dont, because we adhere to a System far better and higher predating this man man made sytem 1426 years. The man made system you are so much in love was made by lawmakers who lie right and left of their mouths, who pass laws based on special interest groups who fund their campaigns for election.

 

Every religious group in western democracies uses the law to its advantage, Babtists, have their lobby to make sure the laws applied on them serve their religious interests, Mormons, who practise polygamy by belief were outvoted due to thgeir numbers and as a result they settled for practicing polygamy in civil ceremony only without state recognition, and nobody dares to go to Utah to stop their polygamous marriages, Jews use the law to protect their religion and national interest, Congress just passed a law againts antisemitism anywhere in the world, so that leaves you, the only Guardian and Protector of a system in collision with your beliefs in Allah and the day of judgement. be prepared to answer to Allah by saying " Innaa adacnaa saadatanaa wa kubaraa'anaa fa adalluunaa sabilaa" " O Allah we followed our masters and powerful men, and they caused us to loose sight of your way"

 

The problem you sister have is double edged, ignorance of your Islamic faith, and ignorance of how to play the system to your faith's advantage without violence. Before you accuse people of cheating a system, make sure you know the system, your cow is not holy.

 

 

Nur