Sharing Scarce Resources ( Somali Husbands)

[-Serenity-]

Originally posted by Nur:

Girls

 

Why is it so difficult to visualize a family made of four great wives and a wonderful husband? just imagine the four sitting together in their living room, sharing quite time together, or having an enriching intellectual discussion, their kids around them, doing their homework, wives purusing their hobbies and interests while husband is always cared for and at least each woman knows where her husband is at any given moment?

Seems like a perfectly good picture if the ladies were my friends and not doing my man! Nur, only in your head and every other man’s is this a dream. I personally would love to have 4 men attending to my every whim while helping perpetuate my genes. I just happen to think its quite immoral and selfish to have a relationship where I get 100% satisfaction and each one of my so called partners 1/4th. I sense something very strange about you as of late, don’t you think you’re pushing this little polygamous agenda of yours a little too far? I can only wonder about the number of applications you must have received to consider this lifestyle …. And maybe it does suit you…after all, you are an honourable man!

[Reality Check]

Originally posted by Nur:

....while husband is always cared for

Nur

Oh I see.....

 

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

 

How about the husband grows up..and gets a life?

 

 

Bishaaro,

 

Sorry sweetie, there are also abusive and low-life Somali husbands out there too.

[- Femme -]

husband is always cared for and at least each woman knows where her husband is at any given moment?

I used to remember when polygamy was for honourable reasons and done with the utmost intention and goal to please Allah and relieve the growing muslim community by helping widowed, divorced, and unmarried women past their age.

 

Now it seems the sole reason for getting married to more than one wife (and it seems the standards have risen so much---virgin or no children) is to satisfy one man's fantasy or for some equally selfish reason.

 

We acknowledge that polygamy is allowed in islam---my emphasis is on allowed ---for those who can best carry it out. BUT WE DONT HAVE TO ACCEPT IT IN OUR LIVES AS INDIVIDUALS. WE HAVE THE CHOICE AND NO AMOUNT OF PLEADING OR CAJOOLING WILL MAKE US EVEN CONSIDER THINKING A SECOND ABOUT IT.

[rudy-Diiriye]

besbasso maad xishootid! u never know, u could be #2, 3, or 4! so if i was u! i wont front! since that could put in jeorpdy later!!

[Bess.]

Originally posted by rudy:

besbasso maad xishootid! u never know, u could be #2, 3, or 4! so if i was u! i wont front! since that could put in jeorpdy later!!

excuse me.....i have never lost my xishood...xaraam calyk...and i would advice u not worry about me....just handle ur own biznazz.... :rolleyes: ..only allah knows what will happen to me and im not worried....insha'allah...i won't have the misfortune to be anyone's 2nd never mind 3rd and 4th wife....

[juba]

Originally posted by Nur:

Girls

 

Why is it so difficult to visualize a family made of four great wives and a wonderful husband? just imagine the four sitting together in their living room, sharing quite time together, or having an enriching intellectual discussion, their kids around them, doing their homework, wives purusing their hobbies and interests while husband is always cared for and at least each woman knows where her husband is at any given moment?

 

easy for you to say! :rolleyes:

 

polygamy is jsut plain creepy. "sharing quite time together" isn't easy with three other women competing for attention and what could four wifes and a selfish husband talk about in a "enriching" discussion?

[Wiilo]

what could four wifes and a selfish husband talk about in a "enriching" discussion? Everything there is to discuss, just pictured it, four wives and a husband talking/having time of thier lives and discussing issues (Whatever the issues might be) and the kids playing near where they are sitting, wow that beautiful isn't it that is what i call a complete family,, If he can afford it why not let him have four wives :rolleyes:

 

 

Go figure:.............

[juba]

Originally posted by Wiilo:

that is what i call a complete family,,

 

Go figure:.............

since when does a complete family have three extra wifes? if you haven't noticed a typical "complete" family is compsed of a PAIR of parents and how ever many kids.

[Wiilo]

if you haven't noticed a typical "complete" family is compsed of a PAIR of parents and how ever many kids. No dear, that is the Ideal Western family, our family consists of a father, kids and four wives

 

 

Go figure:................

[rudy-Diiriye]

yo chill ladies! yall seen many family with multiple wivies, so what gives! now, yall wanna pretend!! gimme a break!!

 

wiilo, aint from a family w/dad more than one wife!! see, u turn out a nice beautiful sista!! even our prophet did(swt) so whats the deal? if a man can handle, let it be!!

 

its all good!! :confused:

[Golden Girl]

Cajiib, bro Nur are u encourage somali sisters to share their husbands with other women! :confused:

 

i know that it is in the Quran, oo ninka loo baneeyay, inooo naago badan guursado, but qofkasta maka soo bixi karto xaqa naagahaas dhan so 1 leeba ku fillane maxaa loo badsanaa?

 

women have lots of work, taking care of the house , her husband and her children, dhib kale maa loogu daraa, & inee ka fikirto waxyaabo oo un- necessary ah??

 

such organizations are kuwa guriyaha dumiya honestly, do u know inta famil oo badbaada markoo ninka labeesta ama sadaxeesta, furiinka badankood oo familada somalida ka dhaca woxoow ka imaadaa nimankoo naaga kala guursada saa u arko ani!

[Nur]

Guardian n Protector

 

you write:

 

" Seems like a perfectly good picture if the ladies were my friends and not doing my man!"

 

 

Answer

 

Isnt that better than stranger women doing your husband without your knowledge?

 

 

You write:

 

" Nur, only in your head and every other man’s is this a dream.

 

 

Answer:

 

 

Not in this world, or life, only in Jannah do I expect my dreams to come true, no fun in this life comes without pain, the more fun one seeks in this life, the more bad after taste, and honestly, serving a single woman is far easier than serving four, but a polygomous relationship isnt a crystal ball, it serves a purpose, not for everyone though, but for some, and for those, it can be as rosy as the picture I drew easrlier, the trick is to recognize when, and with who.

 

 

You write:

 

" I personally would love to have 4 men attending to my every whim while helping perpetuate my genes."

 

 

Answer:

 

It is a matter that was predestined by Allah, that a man can serve four women, but a woman by nature and psychology, can only feel fulfilled with a single man, even if he has other woman in his life with some jealosy, for every egg a woman releases for procreation, a man releases a million sperm, that should make you scratch your head for more ideas.

 

 

You write:

 

" I just happen to think its quite immoral and selfish to have a relationship where I get 100% satisfaction and each one of my so called partners 1/4th.

 

 

Answer:

 

 

" Immorality is based on faith, and your mathematics needs lil bit correction, believe me, having four wives does not add up to a 100% satisfaction unless one has only reproduction pleasure as his only concern, and still, that requires some effort that takes 80 percent of fun out of it. The setup is intended to help women first, not testastrone laden men, if a woman would rather stay single instead of becoming number 2, or 3, than that is her choice, but as egyptian woman say, raagil, walaa gidaar, being next to a man (halal) is far better than being next to a wall.

 

You write:

 

I sense something very strange about you as of late, don’t you think you’re pushing this little polygamous agenda of yours a little too far? I can only wonder about the number of applications you must have received to consider this lifestyle …. And maybe it does suit you…after all, you are an honourable man!

 

 

Asnwer:

 

I started this thread to help others, in their faith and life, addressing taboos and untouchables topics, thinking outside of the box, I knew all along that I would be accused of having a personal agenda, which initially was not my idea, but after reading your witty response, and concidering my deep desire of increasing number of intelligent Somalis, I am seriously thinking of an exception to that rule, intelligent women like you can not be resisted, and knowing how convincing I can be in person, neither can a lady like you resist when i put together a value proposition, so convincingly that the only objection a lady can have would be to say "how soon"?.

 

Much respect

 

 

Nur

[-Serenity-]

Well brother Nur, isn’t that situation you picture better than me getting my kicks somewhere else? Or is infidelity restricted to one gender? This constant insinuation on you part that we should be accept infidelity as part and parcel of a one on one relationship is absurd. Let me tell you that two can play that game, and what goes around comes around. So please oh please, stop this blather about men being promiscuous in general. There are millions of decent men out there who are content with one woman, one soul partner.

 

no fun in this life comes without pain

Right. And why would you subject yourself to this pain in the first place? Or lemme guess, you have all the fun at the painful expense of poor, unsuspecting women? Gotcha!

 

It is a matter that was predestined by Allah, that a man can serve four women, but a woman by nature and psychology, can only feel fulfilled with a single man, even if he has other woman in his life with some jealosy, for every egg a woman releases for procreation, a man releases a million sperm, that should make you scratch your head for more ideas.

This statement is kinda laughable ma istidhi? Whats your point? Its also a well known fact that when a child is created, they need the attention of both their parents equally. So what if a man produces a million sperms? He can only attend to one child at a time. Surely you are not implying that he has should spread his seed far and wide and that’s about all that’s required of him.

 

Immorality is based on faith, and your mathematics needs lil bit correction, believe me, having four wives does not add up to a 100% satisfaction unless one has only reproduction pleasure as his only concern, and still, that requires some effort that takes 80 percent of fun out of it

Well, If you’re not satisfied 100% and they aren’t, why are we gonna put ourselves in this situation to begin with?

 

 

I started this thread to help others, in their faith and life, addressing taboos and untouchables topics, thinking outside of the box

Do continue brother. But I expect you to constantly remind these readers of yours the stipulations(Re-read FF's reply) placed on such practices. I would like you to address the real underlining issues reading to this so called problem – which is the lack of eligible men with good Imaan. Besides, the whole population doesn’t stand at 1 man to 4 women yet. Its one man to every 1.6 women! So before you try and find a solution for a problem that doesn’t exist, find one for the one here, right now.

 

Men to women ratio - USA 2000

 

India

 

China - Where men outnumber women.

 

Nur, unless you have the stats for Somalia, how come you're so convinced there are not enough men?

[pearl]

this topic is going no where....for one we all agree its halal....but thats not the issue here...the main cause for this whole topic is trying to remove our stand on preference.... the amount of effort that is put in by bother nur and those alike in trying to take away our god given right of personal choice is just ridiculous.....

 

 

bothers let me say it for one last time..."stop forcing this down ur throats"

[juba]

Originally posted by Wiilo:

if you haven't noticed a typical "complete" family is compsed of a PAIR of parents and how ever many kids.

No dear, that is the Ideal Western family, our family consists of a father, kids and four wives

 

 

Go figure:................

Western ideal family? are you serious? its not restricted to a certain race or peoples its something thats universal. Actually Pearl is right , were just going in circles! Everyone has there opinions and i respect that. i guess it depends on the person, but i think Nur went to far in encouraging for women to practice polygamy.(but with good intentions i guess)