Do You Have This Problem? or Know of a Victim Who Does?

[Nur]

e-Nuri Social Services

 

 

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Character Assasination

 

 

You have always meant good, dealt honestly with friends and family, somehow, you have always been misunderstood, making you even more frustrated. You've always felt that " you know them, but they dont know you" but your day in court is due, but may not be in this lifetime!

 

Word goes around fast labling you with malicious descriptions of character, and as time goes by, the lie takes a life of its own, you have been put in a box, even people who have not met you have a prejudice against you for no fault of your own.

 

It takes only a single person to spread a lie, once the lie is in the air, people fish for that chartacteristic about you in all of your actions, and they view you with suspicion from the start. The more you try to fight the allegation, the more believable it becomes, suddenly, you find yourself in a Rodney Dangerfield world of no respect, no matter what.

 

We Muslims take a credit for every Character assasination we participate in by way of believing or passing of gossip, " Xanta ". We may have altered lives of great people, we may have denied many people to listen to them after we have circulated false allageation or by exaggerating these allegations to poison a well.

 

In this thread, let us treat this social problem together as there are many Nomads out there who may benefit by taking control of their life, and dignity.

 

Your sincere thoughts on the above are highly appreciated.

 

 

Nur

[Passion_4_Fashion]

bismillaah.....alxamdulillaah sidaas aniga ma i haysato, markaan si daacad eh u hadlo quf sidaas oo kale eh markii la iiga sheegeeyo of course qaladadiisa ama qaladadeeda un baad u fiirsaneysaa. Xanta sideedaba dhibaato weyn bey leedahay...dadka badankoodna sidaas uma ogsoona. Qufkii Alle ka cabsanaaya un baa iska dhooraayo arimahaasoo kale. Laakiin su'aasha wexey tahay, sanadkaan la joogo dadka iimaankooda halkey bey gaarsii santahay? Hori bey Soomali wexey u tiri "barasho horteed ha i nicin".

[Nur]

Simply The Best

 

you write: " barasho horteed ha i nicin ".

 

Indeed, simply the best!

 

Walaal, waad ku mahadsantahay maahmaahda wanaagsan.

 

You see, walaalo, there are three evil ways that people take care of their opponents:

 

1. They physically harm them, or eliminate them

2. They poison the well, by casting doubts on their supporting materials and sources or intentions.

3. They Go after their Character, character assasination, in which they spread negative image to those who have most respect for them, slowly drying up their pool of friends to make them lonely and paint them as not trust worthy.

 

May be in our lives, we have been the victim, may be we were the culprit, anyway, it is an issue we need to face up to and address it in light of our faith.

 

 

Nur

[Charisma]

Brother Nur , u had really brought up a very sensitive topic wc too many ppl ignore coz they cant or wont face the fact that they have a problem.

its a good suggestion to stop this harm if we all can, but how will we/anyone help such a person who is being victimized by their closest person eg; husband,wife,father or mother.

 

i had seen it n its not easy, coz the victim does not know or is in denial!

[Saalixa]

Please iam beging

Take this topic to the POLITICS SECTION...the problem does not lye with visitors in the islamic section but those in the corrupted part of sol

i hate to see what people post there. I wish the admins could do thier jobs in a more "hands on way", where is the honour with them ppl??

[Blessed]

Nur,

This is a beneficial topic. I've always wondred about not the ill-effects of gossip and the like, much is written on this aspect.

 

I always wonder of how one who is subjected to such deals with the situation. My reaction is ignore and cut-off those who have this tendency.

 

However, I feel that this doesn't really deal with the situaution... what do the nomads think...?

[Coloow]

Nuur, This issue is a tempting one. I don't think any human being is 100% free from this temptation. In most of the cases, the person who does it does not understand the sinful dimension.

 

I think this is sheytan territory and one would need a strong faith (iman), be on the lookout for eve. loopholes and more importantly to think everytime about life hereafter.

 

 

suurat al Hujurat, ayat 11-12,

 

"O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used by one) after he has believed: and those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong." " O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it...but fear Allah: for Allah is oft-Returning, Most Merciful."

[NGONGE]

Originally posted by rayaana:

Please iam beging

Take this topic to the POLITICS SECTION...the problem does not lye with visitors in the islamic section but those in the corrupted part of sol

i hate to see what people post there. I wish the admins could do thier jobs in a more "hands on way", where is the honour with them ppl??

 

This can almost be construed as gossip! Horta ma ila argtay? Xuma dadkano....

 

Good topic by the way.

[Nur]

Charisma

 

Its often close family or friends who hurt most as they know about you what strangers do not know, once they paint you with any character like " she is short tempered" would be friends keep their distance, the cost literally being socially prohibitive just because some evil driven family member told on you, or a friend my spread after a dispute that you are "unreliable" which may reach your boss just before your promotion. Gossip is a serious crime in terms of its long term cost to the victim, you can leave a permananent scar on a good persons profile for life without realizing what you have done to them. Our dignity and self worth is the most valuable asset we have in our lifetime, by damaging others dignity we are committing a crime of gigantic proportions, even worse then cold blooded murder, because to live tainted with a false character is far worse than to die with your dignity in tact.

 

 

Rayana sis

 

I have written a topic about politicians on the politics section, after you read you would know that politicians are beyound help in their own backyard, Politics is synonymous with lies, opportunism, character assasination, greed, dirty tricks and the list goes on. So, I am not comcerned for these Nomads, I am concrned with Wadaads, and you would be surprised to know that despite the wadaads knowledge of the dangers of gossip, character assasination remains a favorite passtime im many Masjids and religious gatherings. It hurt me many at time to hear a friend discounting another as " Wuu fudud yahay " when in effect he was because he took his remarks lightly while in the eyes of allah they are severe.

 

 

Ameenah sis

 

you write: "I always wonder of how one who is subjected to such deals with the situation. My reaction is ignore and cut-off those who have this tendency "

 

 

Sister

 

Majority of people whose Character was severely attacked are not even aware of what is being spread about them, up until one day one of their enemies slanders them with that false Character, that is why your " enemies " are more useful then your " friends " because your " enemies " would let you know what your " friends " are saying about you. And that is if you are still alive!

 

 

Caaqil bro

 

BaarakaAllah feek walaal, many people miss the essence of our faith which is about improving human relationships, be it family, friends or society, the verses you have quoted are the best safeguard Allah revealed that we do not violate the sanctity of others rights and dignity, our tongue if left uncontrolled can damage more than an invading army, have you ever thought about why the area in the brain that controlls the tongue is so huge compared to other organs control centers?

 

 

NGONGE bro

 

One of the conditions for a statement to be considered to be gossip, is for the subject person to feel annoyed, or does not accept the allegation. I have yet to meet a person in politics who thinks politicians are honsest, or that politics is not about dirty tricks. But ineed, if one makes a blanket statement like " all of reer qansax are so and so," then, it is very serious due to the weight of the allegations that touches on many people.

 

 

Nur

[Coloow]

Assalamu calaykum, Nuur, recently , I attended a conference in Gothenburg, Sweden on enhancing islam among somalis. This conference is held once every year (as far as I recall , it is usually held in Stockholm). Many wadaads are invited from across the globe to leave their laba kumi iyo taano.

 

After the conference ended, there was a heated discussion between some of the wadaads, the organisers and some attendees. A man in his thirties, begun to criticise the wadaads for downplaying the issue of integration of somalis in the west; the social/moral decay of somalis and their obsession with pointing the finger at Gaalos for the failure of somalia and the muslim world.

 

This guy said he attended nearly 10 conferences and the theme for almost all of them was outsourcing the true nature of islamic problems to non-muslims (he wrote an article on somaliweyn.com). He asserted, the wadaads come to sweden to preach about things/issues/events that are known to muslims. An example, he took was the previous battles the muslims won with elogue. He argued that while these battles are very important to remember, muslims are faced with neo-challenges including tackling social issues.

 

From a somali perspective, this guy, argued that somalis are percieved in the west as parasites; family disunity, people use the name of islam to poach, gain, lie etc.. and here comes the bomb:

 

According to him, the sheikhs (wadaads) don't want to tackle /discuss the moral decay of the somali community because they themselves are involved. This he says begun in somalia, where every warlord prays in a mosque where there is a learned wadaad. Out of fear, they don't dare to tell the warlord to cease with abuses; Most of the wadaad he says are on the payrolls of somalis who are morally decayed in the west. No wadaad asks the origins of donations.

 

When preaching/telling muslim somalis, these wadaads are confident a gaalo attack would save them from scrutiny. They claim there is an unseen enemy called GAALO. They recite successful battles fought during our prophet SAW, They talk about the islamic empires that were something without telling the people about the problems facing muslims.

 

This guy was immediately called "Gaal" Bidcist and many other names.

 

The way , I see it brother Nuur, is this: Not many of our wadaads have enough knowledge of islam and society. Many of them have read the quran and have mastered hadiths. They lack the pedagogics to analyse the situation; knowledge about muslims in the diaspora.

[Nur]

Caaqil bro

 

Just to draw your point towards the issue at hand, whenever these delegates in these conferences disagree, its expected that they defame their respective adversaries in unjust way without thinking that by acting with such poor Islamic akhlaaq, of spreading lies, they are acting contrary to the tenets of the faith they claim to be working to propogate. If the wadaad is acting contrary to the Islamic akhlaaq, how can we blame Nomads congregating at politics section?

 

Nur

[Coloow]

Brother Nuur, For a somali, religion comes a poor second to tribalism . But saying that in itself is tantamount to sin.

 

It is the old saying "Ilaaheeyn qab ortaadana raac". I have seen good forumers who would defend islam...but when it comes to somali politics, they wear the shirts of sheydhan.

 

Bro, ,maxaa laga sameeyaa ummaddaan wada siyaasiiyiinta noqotay? This BBC-da maxaay sheegtay nation? This ilaheey waan ka cabsanayaa, laakin qabiilku qalbigaan ku sitaa nation? This cawralaa dhalatey nation? This nation of double standards where its citizens are in the front raw of mosques but after prayers they worship a god called tribalism?

[Nur]

Caaqil bro

 

Success in life and aakhira is achieved by what we do,( which we have control) not what we are( which we don not control), Somalis are the only nation on earth I know of that takes tribalism to a level not even pre-Islamic Arabia had thought of. The problem of Tribalism in Somalia is embedded in the notion that good character is based on origin and tribe, so if you are Reer Qurac, you are good, but if you are Reer Qansax or Reer Galool, you are despicable, so, we are back at Character Assasination in wholesale. ( The thread was meant to address retail Character assasination )

 

The funny thing is that I bet that you will not find a single Somali Maryooley whose tribal affiliation does not include at least 30-40 percent of the "Other" bad tribe he defames and attacks their Character. Which shows you that he is made of 40 percent "bad tribe" origin. And because we are paternal tribalists, can you imagine if we declare a new and more rigorous way to prove our tribes by only recognizing our maternal side how many of your close tribal relatives would become your enemies? It will be interesting if Nomads recalculated their tribes based on their maternal side only!

 

The Prophet SAWS was reported as saying roughly " Man yubdi bihi camaluhu, lam yusric bihi nasabuhu"

 

He whose performance" worldly and for Akhirah) slows him down, his speed to catch up is not compensated for by his tribal linneage"

 

 

Nur

[Dhagax-Tuur]

Very interesting, brothers, sisters.

[Baashi]

Do I have it? sometimes but it's rare! Do I know victims...I can't count them.

 

More often than not backbiting, gossiping, character assassination and what not start within the group we are part of. How often have we initiated one by simply enquiring things our buddies may or may not do. From there, we listen a whole litany of gossiping and we tend to enjoy hearing the dirt on others. We in turn recycle the same dirt by informing others who may have the need to know more on so and so.

 

You would think nomads are the worst but I gotta news for y’all. Office politics and all that comes with is just different level. Where I’m from, gossip, backbiting, and what not is something associated with women. There is some truth in that but boy! have I seen men who almost feel the need to give you a character and bio “tour†on their friends, acquaintances, and colleagues.

 

Now my sincere thoughts on this? I may be wrong but I think this is part of human nature and one way to resist or minimize it is to realize that those who give the dirt from their neighbors, family members, friends, etc. are bound to do the same behind your back. With this realization, it follows that you pick your friends wisely and if and when they slip and start gossiping and ripping people apart, as they sometimes may, don’t be so polite and pretend as if you wanna hear all of that. Start making excuses for the victim if he/she doesn’t get the hint, it’s high time to tell that you are not interested in that.

 

Nur bro, I know brothers (bachelor) in search of good wife and every know and then when we meet for tea-sipping, I see them heart-broken for they have been inundated with bad info that amounted to character assassination about the person they’ve been keeping their eye on for quite sometime. It’s just sad to see other men making business to do such thing to a couple who may have gotten married in a hallal matrimony.

 

On the politics, I have some reservation on the generalization some of you do day in and day out. It’s like what the wise man said about people being discreet sheep; waiting to see how the drove is going, and then go with them. It takes only one nomad to say something about that section and off they go doing just what this thread is all about. In SOL, it became fashionable to defame (in underhand manner) folks who tend to congregate in the politics section. My take on this is that we as people are bound to talk about events in our country. It just so happened that ours is intertwined with tribalism. It is inevitable to analyze the facts, the actors and the forces that shape them. Is tribalism bad? Yes! Are their tribalists all around (home and abroad)? Absolutely! What are you doing about it? Are you in favor of collective amnesia? I see the point in saying talking about in this forum won’t do any good but I for one learned what makes some fellas tik sort to speak.

 

Waa tahay!