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samjamaa

Why I am not married?

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Aaliyyah   

taleexi, taasi aragtideeyda bay aheed, ma aheen mid aan umad kale ku khasbayey...even marrying someone in another country has its issues..a friend of mine married a guy in the uk and after few months she came back here and she messed his plans (he had no plans to move here he wanted to stay there at least thats what they agreed upon before the marriage at least if they agreed to stay here before the marriage i wouldnt be as judgemental as i am now lol..but she thought moving there was as easy as 123 and i guess she was homesick)..now hes here..he doesnt have much ofa choice cuz shes expecting their first child? now imagine that leaving behind meshaad ubaratay ..ur job, friends, family etc...i doubt hes gonna be happy here.

 

salaam

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Blessed   

LOL. Che. I know what you mean laakin, she/ he's got to be more special than average to get the honour of marriage, soo maaha?

 

There's nothing wrong with having standards but our understanding of 'standards' is usually a bit sketchy. For example, you can have high standards and still end up married to a guy from back home or the middle east. It's terrible how we've become arrogant because of our western habitats. Many brothers / sisters in ME and Africa are heads and shoulders above some of the qashin in the west. No offence intended.

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Don't be a woman that needs a man be a woman that a man needs. Forget about looking for the right man instead focus on being the right woman. If you're the right woman men will be naturally attracted to you and notice you. Be a phenemonal woman one that is hard to be topped by other women. If you're a phenomenal woman it's hard for men not to notice you it's a like a rock that's infront of him that he can't get passed by. Re-evaluate yourself see where it's going wrong and what's the problem and solve it. It could also be that you're not going to the right places to meet the right men. Love and respect youself firstly that's the most important thing that way you come across as a confident woman men don't like insecure, needy and clingy women. How is a man gonna love and respect you if you don't love or respect yourself. Don't tell me you believe in that BS that all good men dissapeared and there is no good man left. Newsflash there are plenty of good men around, the reason why you're not attracting good men is YOU. You're your own worst enemy and you don't even know it you're the one blocking your own success. It could also be that you don't have the qualities that good men are looking for. Good men will never approach you that's a fact because they are nervous, afraid what you're response will be and of being rejected or laughed at it's mostly the bad men and the players who will approach you. So make sure you're a good woman that's approachable who isn't arrogant or rude or treats people around her bad that will only give the guy a positive feedback from you and you will get approached faster and more often. Always have a genuine smile a smile is contagious and will attract men and give them the greenlight that you like them and they can approach you. Don't play hard to get it's gonna work against you and will only make the man confused about you and not even know whether you like him or not and lose interest in you. Be a high value woman a classy woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to let a man know if she likes him. Playing hard to get only disempowers you and makes you a woman of low value it means you can't take action so you're playing the victim. So remember in order for a good man to be attracted and notice you, you need to be a good woman first because good men are looking for good women.

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Miriam1   

With all sincerity, I would like to hear from women on this forum that have married men living back home/middle east - or know of someone who has, just curious has to what your experience was like

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Taleexi   

Bluelicious;781936 wrote:
Don't be a woman that needs a man be a woman that a man needs. Forget about looking for the right man instead focus on being the right woman. If you're the right woman men will be naturally attracted to you and notice you. Be a phenemonal woman one that is hard to be topped by other women. If you're a phenomenal woman it's hard for men not to notice you it's a like a rock that's infront of him that he can't get passed by. Re-evaluate yourself see where it's going wrong and what's the problem and solve it. It could also be that you're not going to the right places to meet the right men. Love and respect youself firstly that's the most important thing that way you come across as a confident woman men don't like insecure, needy and clingy women. How is a man gonna love and respect you if you don't love or respect yourself. Don't tell me you believe in that BS that all good men dissapeared and there is no good man left. Newsflash there are plenty of good men around, the reason why you're not attracting good men is YOU. You're your own worst enemy and you don't even know it you're the one blocking your own success. It could also be that you don't have the qualities that good men are looking for. Good men will never approach you that's a fact because they are nervous, afraid what you're response will be and of being rejected or laughed at it's mostly the bad men and the players who will approach you. So make sure you're a good woman that's approachable who isn't arrogant or rude or treats people around her bad that will only give the guy a positive feedback from you and you will get approached faster and more often. Always have a genuine smile a smile is contagious and will attract men and give them the greenlight that you like them and they can approach you. Don't play hard to get it's gonna work against you and will only make the man confused about you and not even know whether you like him or not and lose interest in you. Be a high value woman a classy woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to let a man know if she likes him. Playing hard to get only disempowers you and makes you a woman of low value it means you can't take action so you're playing the victim. So remember in order for a good man to be attracted and notice you, you need to be a good woman first because good men are looking for good women.

Well put yaa Xaajiyo Blue. This reminds me a book called "The Compound Effect" written by Darren Hardy..... It exactly talks about what you've said - For instance if I want a short, mariin, neither overweight not skinny, intellectual Somali chick. I don't have to go in every gathering place possible rather I've to develop a strategy where I want to be the man such woman wants. Hadday doonayso nin shuluq ah, oo dabaal ah, laakiin yes man ah waa inaan sidaa iska doon doonaa..... Nevertheless, create opportunities don't run after ...

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Taleexi   

Mariam1: Kuwa halkan ku jiraa ma aha kuwo experience-gooda ka waramaya -- markay kuugu fiicnaadaan waxay dhahayaan gabar aan aqaano baa sidaasi ku dhacday :)

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samjamaa   

guys, all what you said it is true and i appreciate you advices but i just want to clarify some points.

1) I am racism becaues my target are only to marry Somali man with all my respect for other nationalities.

2) search husband in online or local masjid is not solution.

3) I am not worrying at all because i believe that allah knows what is good for me.

However, I’ve realized the most important thing is to first work on myrself. As Ms.Blue said When we work on ourselves, we attract what we look for. Maybe not all the time! However, if something is meant to be, it will happen inshaa allah.

and who knows i may invite you all to my wedding party soon.

Salaam

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