Sky Posted March 13, 2005 The Right of the Husband and the Wife by: Dr. Shacabi, California, USA Marriage ties have a great impact and significance in any given society all over the World. It is, in the first place, a tremendous bond that ties the husband and the wife. As a result of this bond, many rights and requirements are imposed on both, towards each other, their children, their in-laws, their relatives and their social obligations. As financial relation is also established, which, at times, might strain the ties between the spouses? Moreover, there are certain physical rights that are constituted for both spouses as a result of the martial relationship. All these items and more are properly addressed in the light of Islam, the religion of Allah, the Almighty, and in accordance with the practices of Allah’s Apostle, PBUH. Such obligations ties and relationships are, at its best, in accordance with Islam, as will be discussed herein. This coincides with the pure, innate and human nature of man who is eager to lead a sensible, meaningful, affectionate, emotionally sound, physically comforting and spiritually meaningful life. Both husband and wife must commit themselves fully to each other in the light of Islam, or for this matter, in light of the requirements of pure human nature. Both must be kind, good, sincere, affectionate, caring, polite, respectful and generous to each other. Each will constitute a half in the martial relationship. Therefore, each must bear the responsibilities of his share. Each must honor this tie, be pleasant to their companion and offer the utmost possibilities to make the relationship lasting, pleasing, meaningful and coherent. Allah, the Almighty, stated in the glorious Quran concerning the treatment of one’s spouse, the wife in particular: “On the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it deal of good.†4:19 Perfection , of course , belongs to Allah , the Almighty, Many times one finds defects in the relationship one has with friend , an associate , a partner , teacher , that are tremendously important to both individuals. It is, therefore, necessary to bear some inconveniences for the sake of a generally good and everlasting relationship. That is why Islam, as a way of life, imposes practical principles upon its followers. On the other hand , Islam offers man an edge in the relationship due to the fact that man , in general , has better discipline, more logical judgment , less emotion and a different position in society, all over the world from primitive societies to the most advanced , technical and industrial societies . Also man generally has a better income, which makes him more financially responsible for the welfare of his family members, as is the case all over the world. Man is, in general the “bread- winner†of the family and at times subjects his life and body to terrible dangers to perform a skilled job that requires a lot of sacrifice .For these reasons and many more, Allah, the Almighty stated in the glorious Quran concerning man’s edge in the martial relation: “And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have degree.†2:228 We know that woman is equal to man in all religious rights, as it is well explained in the glorious Quran and the Sunah practices of Allah’s Apostle, PBUH. There are only minor differences between male and female rights in accordance to Islam, such as inheritance, authority, testimonies, Code of dress and other things to be discussed in a separate book. Woman must offer her husband what he is entitled, and man must offer his wife what she is entitled to base on the mutual fruitful relationship they have established in accordance with Islam. Truly, if both parties live up to these standards, both will be extremely happy, and society will become better and more pleasant. When both parties, and even one, fail to abide by these rules, a miserable life in the household in general will prevail, as the unhappiness of parents will be reflected on the entire family. Both husband and wife will become unhappy, unproductive, unbearable and miserable if they do not appreciate the rights of each other and live by them. Islam greatly emphasizes that man must be kind to women , in general , whether it be a wife , a mother , a sister, a daughter , an aunt , a grandmother , a niece or even someone unrelated to him. Allah’s Apostle, PBUH, said: “Be kind to women, women have been created from a bent rib. The most bent part of the rib is its top. If you try to straighten that bend you will break it. If you leave it alone it remains as it is. Therefore, be as kind, nice and good to women as you canâ€. This Hadith is reported by both Bukhari and Muslim. Muslim reported a similar Hadith saying: “Woman has been created from (man’s) rib. That rib is bent somewhat. If you attempt to straighten the bend you will never be able to do so. Therefore, you may enjoy your relation with the woman with understanding that she has a bend (i.e. minor defects). If you attempt to correct the bend you will break the relationship, which means you break the marriage and the martial relations between both.†Muslims also reported in another statement of Allah’s Apostle, PBUH saying: “A believing Muslim husband must not hate his believing Muslim wife (and break the marriage relation ties) If a husband dislikes one thing of his wife, (let him remember) he likes other things and points in her character.†The prophet, PBUH in the previous statements, guides, teaches and establishes the way that the woman should be treated and dealt with. This is meant for all the Muslim Ummah regardless of social status. No one person on the face of the Earth, with the exception of the prophets and Messengers of Allah, Almighty, is infallible. Although the prophets themselves claimed that they may commit minor mistakes in terms of worldly things other than divine revelation descended to them by Allah, the almighty, from heaven. Perfection is a relative term. Man should accept his mate as is. Woman also should accept her husband as is. Both must exert every effort to improve one another. But they must remember that both are entitled to certain specific rights that Islam has established for them and they should enjoy. On the other hand, Islam imposes certain requirements from both that they must also fulfill. If both accept each other on these premises, the family will enjoy a healthy atmosphere and they will lead splendid, wonderful and very happy lives under the umbrella of Islam. We can vividly notice how Islam again and again coincides with the natural, innate nature of a man. Man desires a happy, flowery, rosy, cozy, neat and nice home with the most beloved person to him, or her, after the love of the creator, the prophet and parents. Islam urges both the husband, in the first place, to be extremely kind, keen and nice in his relationship with his spouse and provide her with all due rights imposed unto him by Allah, the Almighty and the teachings of Allah’s Apostle, PBUH. Similarly, the woman is expected to do the same and obey her husband as long as he respects her, fulfills her rights, makes her feel loved, cared for and wanted and does not impose any unlawful or illegal things upon her. That is Islam. There is nothing else that matches its innate quality. By Dr. Shacabi California, USA Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted March 14, 2005 jazakallah ...One more thing I urge all our muslim peers and couples to read the following website and understand the contents.. http://www.jannah.org/sisters/wifehappy.html I assure that you will enjoy.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
