Somali Anarchists Declaration SAD

[Haashim]

Nur, Sxb don't worry We're still there and we are regrouping to launch a big counterattack to those who want Law and Order in our country.

 

Rafiiq Yalahow was just released from other Anarchist group in the jungles of Congo (fromer Zaire) where he found himself aiming to join us in Qudhac Joome.

 

we recieved reports saying that the small boat that they fled from Mogadishu sailed the Atlantic coast instead of Indian ocean and he walked through Congo thinking it's Ethiopia until this group of Anarchist captured him for entering their teretories without permission from the Anarchist headquarter, Washington DC.

 

The Congolese group demended huge money for his release ($2bn) but when we issued new ID card (his fomer iD card lost somewhere between Indian and Atlantic Ocean) and they realised he was a member of High Commisioner of Anarchist Group they reduced the randsom to ($2milion), president Bush paid this money from his private Waco Texas Range money and we thanked him for his generousity and spreading Anarchy (sorry Democracy) to Africa.

 

The Ugandan authorities are now questioning him and we urged him to take some basic Geography lessons before his long trip to Qudhac joome. some reports are saying that he is now heading us with his friend our dear friend Rafiq Bashir Ragheh who once said we work with Interpol to capture those who oppose the ANARCHY.

 

We also established at least five SPAROS (Raodblocks) to increase our income and to enhance the anarchy in the area, we're now negotiationg with AFAR JEEBLAYAASHA (oday dhaqameedyada) degaanka to get more support from REER baadiyaha.

 

Our dear friend RAFIIQ Qanyare has just returned from Baidoa, where he kissed the head of his founder and asked forgiveness of his disobedience during his presence in Dayniile.

 

Rafiiq Mohamed Dheere is also with us with his militias and bright ideas such as establishing new SPAROS as well as XAARAAN KU NAAX whose only dream is to return his DAHABSHIIL ISPAARO in Wardhiigley where he was getting around $300,000 per day.

 

So, we're determained and heading the capital. As our fundrising officer don't hesitate to knock every door that we can get some funding for our MISSION and don't forget if we're defeated in this country our hope to spread Anarchy (sorry Democracy) in Africa and to will be out od sight.

 

 

Afhayeenka Ururka la Dagaalnka Asal-raaca iyo Dib-u-soo Celinta Fowdada.

 

Sugulle-Nuur-Daahir

 

Rajada Ma Xuma

[Nur]

Murad bro.

 

 

A Masterpiece! any which way you slice it!

 

Your piece inspires an eNuri Movie, what do you say, should I let my imagination flow?

 

Which title do you like:

 

 

The Movie: Gone With The Wadaads Wind

 

The Movie: From The Indian Ocean to the Atlantic, A Warlords Journey To Find PEACE!

 

Actors: George Bush: Spiritual Teacher of Anarchy

Condoleeza Rice: Witch! on a hunt

Coffee Anan: Anarchy Church Boy

Melez Zenawi: Anarchist Area Manager

Abdullahi Yusuf: Local Anarchist Regional Leader

Geeddi: ................................fill title

Yalaxow................................fill titlle Qanyare................................fill title

 

Atto................................fill title

 

Aideed................................fill title

 

Please fill the rest I lost count

 

 

Best Name: Xaaraan Ku Naax

Best Supporting Role: Geeddi

Meanest Anarchist: Qaybdiid ( War balaayadu maba dhamaadaanba, waan laayaa, wey soo socdaan un )

Most Naive Anarchist: Yalaxow ( BBC Reporter: Mr. Yalaxow, is it rue that you have received two truck of weapons from Ethiopis yesterday?

Yalaxaow: Qandho ha dishee, waaba qareynee, yaa usheegey "

 

 

............................To Be completed by Muraad

 

Nur

[Haashim]

From The Indian Ocean to the Atlantic, A Warlords Journey To Find PEACE!

this is the most suitable name because saaxiibkay Muusaa meesha ka dhex muuqda.

 

 

Geeddi: Deputy leader - knows how to obey the leaders

 

Yalaxow: Logistic manager - knows the types of technicals and their performances maydkooda urkiisaa la joogi waayay, nuuriyad haddii lagu shubayna weli waa soo uraa, ani korkay waa ii fayow yahay igama soo urin Alxamdulilah ...

 

Qanyare: Spokesperson - knows how to compromise/negotiate when it comes self-interest Xaan ka helaa -

 

Atto: Warehouse Manager - knows all kinds of spare parts including human spare parts

 

Aideed Jr: Receptionist - knows how to welcome the guests

 

Xaaraan ku naax(though he is the slimmest of all) :Roadblocks Master - knows the value of Roadblocks and their benefits to the society at large -

 

Qaybdiid: Militia leader - knows how to retreat

 

Maxamed dheere: Political advisor - knows how to waste the golden chances

 

Bashiir Raage: Pirates leader - knows the borders between the oceans and seas

[Nur]

Muraad bro.

 

I heard that Mogadishu residents have renamed Qaybdid as KHEIRDID, I think names put issues in perspective, what do you think?

 

Nur

[Captain Xalane]

Nur don't u think men of religion or lets say men of understanding have to be patient about the qaib(the unseen)?No one can know the agendas of these old men and the best thing to do is to be with neither side but observe and see the result.Don't u think that would be better than being disappointed later?Just dropping an opinion bro,don't see this as otherwise.

L.t.Xalane.

[Nur]

Lt. Xalane bro.

 

There is no such thing as men of religion in Islam, its a Christian perspective, strictly speaking, religion means NIXLA in Arabic, not Deen. in the regard, there is no men of religion and men of politics and yet men of anarchy. Islam means surrender to a higher authority, Allah's, every person who declares surrender to Allah is thus equal to everyone else, whicj makes you and me equally responsible for all of our actions, there is no clergy in Islam, and hence the western separation of state and faith. ( Alladiina jacaluu al quraana cidhiin )

 

Secondly, I have not claimed to know the unseen, Allah does, but like Omar ibn Khattab and many other men in Islam have at times taken a postion on an issue, and the Quraan was revealed in agreement with their stance, what I said was based on my expectation of the course of events from my limited knowledge background, like everyone else, at time I get my guess right, yet other times, I am wrong.

 

 

Nur

[Nur]

The Anarchy Empire Strikes back!

 

The UN, IGAD, USA, EU all supporting the Somali Anarchist Union to claim back their Anarchic bases stolen by the UIC.

 

 

eNuri Presents an Eid Mubaarak Edition of Somali Anarchist Declaration.

 

 

Coming soon to a Monitor Near You

 

 

Nur

[Nur]

eNuri and associates will be back with intutive articles inshAllah on Anarchy in Somalia, the sponsors of Anarchy, bosses, and mercenaries ( aka AU Ugandan Troops and Ethiopian Troops)

 

The Anarchist

 

To hit the streets again to help you understand the full picture.

 

Nur

[Fabregas]

Sheikh Nuurow, bal wax nooga taabo, the events of the last days and the blatant clanish sentiments( regarding the muqawama), which have left a few of the nomads bwelidered and confused, in the last couple of days.

[Nur]

Geel Jire walaal

 

Dhacdooyinka maalmahan socda waa kuwo yaab leh, runtii. If you have read my article " Paradigm Shift in Somalia", you should have no problem understanding the fomenting clannish sentiments oozing from the dirty mouths of those inflicted with evil and hate of their fellow Somali.

 

The players in the current events are:

 

1. The Emperial Powers ( US)

2. Client States and Orgs ( Ethiopia, AU and UN)

3. Warlords, repackaged by the Emperial Powers as Statesmen.

4. The People of Somali resistance , from Puntland to Lower Jubba.

 

The Emperial Powers and their rodent local ( Somali merceneries, aka Warlords) have for long destroyed the cohesion and fabric of the Somali nation using the clannish fervor as their surgical tool, each of the warlords was supplied by the Tigres monetary rewards and arms to keep up and prolong the agony of the nation for the past 17 years to destroy the self worth of a once proud nation in the horn of Africa.

 

The Emeperial Client Ethiopia, provided a conduit for inflaming the clannish sentiments as a controlled fire against a bigger fire, ISLAM. Yet, despite all of their efforts, Islam surfaced in the name of the Union of Islamic Courts, a loose union of Islamic courts of the very clans that were being taunted against each other by the Emperial Client state of Ethiopia.

 

Once the UIC was in power, Somalia lived for 6 months the closest semblance of a sovereign state since the early nineties. This independent entity, the UIC, was out of the box, a threat to the new world order, and subsequently it was not welcome by the Emperial Powers of the US and its followers who depend on its handouts for sustenance, so the UIC was decreed to be distablized.

 

The Warlords were back in business driven to victory on top of American supplies trucks and planes to a dishearthend residents of Mogadishu who endured 16 years of anarchy and death, the show was over and the bad boys were calling the shots again in a witch hunt for non exsistent Qaeda operatives in the horn, the only pretext for the Emperial powers to invade and destabilize the people's choice..

 

The clan in reality is a blessing in disguise for Somalis, if used constructively, it has the following benefits.

 

1. The good guys in every clan can overpower the bad ones, because most Somalis are inherently good, the clannish hatred is the tool the bad guys frequently use to control the mindset of the populace and scare their fellow clan members to commit atrocities on other clans. So if the good guys control the bad guys and communicaate with the good guys of the other clan, these warlord bozos can be out of the picture in no time.

 

2. Islam, from the earliest days, survived in the protection of the clan, Muhammad was protected by his uncle Abu Talib, while the weak ( Looma ooyaan) converts such as Bilaal, suffered in the hands of Qureish, once the good men in each clan embraced Islam, he was the ambassador of Islam to his clan, and in short time, a new loyalty of faith replaced the old clannish loyalties to create a universal faith of peace through the surrender to Allah alone and not to wicked empires of the time.

 

3. The Muqaawama is not as simple as you think, its different layers and its adapting to new realities on the ground, but the flame of freedom and service of Islam will never be abondoned by those sacrificing their lives for the freedom of their nation from foreign occupation and Emperial Subserviency.

 

 

Nur

[Fabregas]

Nur, I don't really see a "somali resistance" from Puntland to Juba. True that, there may be some wadaads and islamic courts affliated people resisting. However, my previous concern was that this issue be turned into a clan one. The reason i said this was because clanism and division only benefits those that seek to control Somalia. All they have to do is convince Somali clans that they are fighting against a particular clan/s to make them indifferent. Moreover, Somali clans have a history of mistrust and suspicion. Thus, i belive the odayasha have a made a big mistake in saying they were protecting their subclan.Even if the Ethiopians leave Somali,the fallout of Somali clans will continue afterwards. The mistakes of this will become apparent in the longrun. I believe many ordinary nomads who were sympathetic to their cause will become less inclined to do so. Today they see Ethiopia fighting against a particular subclan. One must why is there no help or assistance from: Bay and Bakool, Puntland and all the other surrounding regions? The gurmad is virtually one sided. Any Muqawama needs the support of the ordinary populace. My hunch is that many of our clan elders, leaders and politicians have been financially brought by the Ethiopians. Thus today in Somalia we have several different entities, who are hostile to each other but friendly with Ethiopia. I may be wrong, but we will see inshallah and Allah knows best.

[Nur]

Geel Jire walaal

 

Rest assured that there is a real (though dormant in these regions) resistance movement from Puntland to Kismayo against the Tigre/American invasion of Somalia.

 

The credit to the recent victories against the Somali stooges and the Tigres is shared by all of Somalis, the heart of the resistance are men and women who love each other in Allah and whose only allegiance is Allah and not a tribe, they came from as far as Djibouti, Hargeisa, Burco, Bosaso, Garowe, Galkacyo, Beletweyn.

 

Its true that the local clan has mobilized itself and is angry at Abdul Yusufs clannish statements that was the cause to create Qansax vs Qurac animosity, which was is exactly the intention behins Abdul. Yusuf, was to divide the Islamic unity that was created by UIC, and replace it with the 4.5 Formula Qabilist Government created for US interests by the Tigre to keep Somalia a weak subservient fiefdom.

 

Rest assured that your concerns are every good Muslims concern of every clan, the challenge is that a Muslim to always stay focused not to be dragged to the clannish fervor and feelings, ( Xamiyatul Jaahiliyyah) as our only allegiance is for Allah SWT.

 

Again, the people in Mogadsihu will never forget the sacrifices of their brothers and sisters from Puntland/ Somaliland who lost their lives defending their brothers from the barbarian Tigre.

 

Nur

[gavin]

Nur, you confuse nihilism with anarchism, but still very funny, if I may be allowed to say.

[Nur]

eNuri and Company will miss George Bush, Condi Rice, Kofe Anan, Donald Rumsfeldt, extraordinary minds who provided valuable creative-chaos humor material for my audience at SOL. The good news is that infamous Somali Chaos Architects are now in the new government, which is composed of CATs and Mice. The CATS are lead by ( Dr. Death) Qanyare, (Dr. Demolition) Yalaxow, who will represent the ( CAT) Coalition Against Terrorism and the Mogadishu Islamic Courts Establishment ( MICE) Represented by Sheikh Shareef.

 

The Show begins at SOL again, Gambarka soo dhoweyso yaa geelley!

 

 

Note to Amin Arts

 

 

CATs and MICE

 

And They Lived Happy Ever After

 

Please draw a cartoon depicting this idea, CATs and MICE in the new American Sponsored Government for Somalia!

 

 

Nur

[Nur]

eNuri Speech writers Guild

 

Presents:

 

A Satire:

 

 

Obama's Message To Somalis Worldwide.

 

 

( This is a Satirical fictitious Speech )

 

 

Assalaamu Caleykum, Ma Nabad Baa?

 

 

Mudanayaal Iyo Marwooyin.

 

Today, I stand in front of you to give peace a chance, I know that many of you doubt that America is the enemy of Islam and Muslims, well that is not true, nothing can be farther from the truth, as a matter of fact, America has a long history of benevolence in Muslim Somalia.

 

Since the 1950s, the US has provided numerous assistance for Somalia by building roads for American Oil Exploration, paid by Sinclair and CONOCO. We have also provided food aid in the form of free wheat and corn to make sure that your farmers don't work too hard and even help them relocate to the cities.

 

We have also assisted you in the education sector, we've managed to send our Mennonite Christian Missionaries to remote areas of Somalia such as Jowhar and Mahaddaay, as well as the American Hippie Peace Corps which helped graduate the first Educated Generation of Somalis to be educated with free scholarships in Oregon and Pennsylvania Mennonite Colleges. Today, these Americanized Somali Technocrats are working for peace through our intelligence services as Consultants for the Oil Companies.

 

For the ordinary Somali, America sounds like the land of opportunity , a land even someone like me, an African American can rise to the highest office of a white nation.

 

How was this possible? well, from it's inception, America was founded by prisoners from Great Britain, who worked hard to create a nation far greater than the combined mother nations of ts forced immigrants and slaves.

 

The first thing these prisoners did in the new frontier country was to rob the land from the Indians, who were like you Somalis, tribal based and always infighting. So it was easy for us to divide them and take away their land. We also civilized them them with abundant free Alcohol, because they did not have the Khaat weed you Somalis love to chew so much.

 

From that humble beginning, America became a nation of interns (white slaves) and black salves on one hand, and investors and bankers on the other hand. Corporate America was born, so the idea we are against religion or for religion has no bases, America cares about wealth and how to create it for its corporate Investors.

 

The Bankers who lent the money to investors made sure that the labor costs were cheap, thanks to African Kings who sold their people to America in exchange for money and gifts to slave traders. ( Things never change I guess ha, ha, ) These slaves gave us great men like Muahammad Ali, Kareem abdul Jabbar, Shakeel O'Neel, and Oprah Winfrey. The slave based economy of America made possible our efficient farming and infrastructure based economy to be the envy of all nations.

 

 

America's greatest historical opportunity arrived when the allied forces defeated Hitler's Germany, Mussolini's Italy and Hirohito's Japan. From that point onwards, our First Nation Superpower status became a reality.

 

The only enemy left after world war II was Communism, led by the now defunct Soviet Union, which we worked very hard to dismantle by 1989 with the collapse of the Berlin Wall after we sucked them to the Afghan quagmire by training and equipping Bin Ladin and his Mujaheddin comrades who engaged the Soviets for ten years with the assistance of the CIA who provided them with Stinger Missiles that crippled their Air force and gave advantage to the Mujaheddin who were masters of the mountainous terrain of Afghanistan.

 

Thanks to the Mujaheddin, today, Eastern Europe is free (Free means under US Hegemony, like the rest of Europe)

 

Now that the Job of Bin Laden was over, it was difficult for America to tame these Mujaheddin, who grew uncontrollable, ambitious to liberate the entire Muslim world from Western Influence by fighting Jihad wars in Bosnia, Chechnya and Kosovo. And that is why we have a problem releasing the animals at Guantanamo into the wild again.

 

This alarmed our European allies about this genie who came out from the American bottle, so we needed a solution to put this genie back in his bottle, and that is why we needed a monumental event that can justify the crushing of this devil that we helped create by mistake. But thanks to our Israeli friends, they are the ones who know Muslims more than us, because they live next to them, so as a service, they designed and executed a flawless 9/11 attack on America to give America a cause like the Holocaust to destroy the Islamic revivalist mujaheddin, who were threatening our interests in the Caspian Sea, and the Middle east.

 

Americans as you all know are talented people, and contrary to common sense, our military is nothing compared to our Media and Hollywood power, who together created a Demon called Bin Laden, who resided in the mountain caves of Afghanistan, who miraculously controls his men with box cutters from the caves in Afghanistan.

 

Our Media Power and Hollywood created a virtual Terrorist who never misses to send a recorded message to Al Jazeera to pave the way and justify for us to invade any country of our strategic choice, while at the same time terrorizing Americans not to ask questions nor demonstrate, so as to make it easy for the Government to take away their civil rights without resistance, beginning with taking the rights of the terrorists, and then after they accept that, to take their civil rights.

 

Today, Most Americans accept to give away their civil rights in exchange for security, and to even make them more controllable. Even our Our Bankers helped the government by crashing the economy to keep our citizens poor and begging the government. Today, the Government owns, the Banks, Automobile Manufacturers, and no one can stand on outs way, our Democratic and republican Parties have the same agenda, so no matter who the people vote for, they get the same policy. That is how we can control the masses in America better than the Chinese and the Iranians.

 

 

With that brief background, let me be clear about our American interests in Somalia.

 

We have a signed agreements dating back to the Siad Barre regime for Oil Exploration rights In Somalia. Four of our American Companies have been patiently waiting to empty the country from its people for past twenty years since Siyad Barre was a stubborn nationalist But you Somalis amaze me, you are hardened people, you never die off easily, so I am coming today asking for understanding and cooperation.

 

Our Ethiopian allies helped in the creation and sustenance of the Civil War for the past 20 years. From Aideed, to Abdullahi Yousuf, no leader could resist our awesome power, all of the warlords are in the pay roll of the Oil companies, ( Tax Deductible foreign bribery), and today, your Moderate Islamist President who knows what we can do in Somalia accepted to work with us and for us, and we will make sure that our global policy of either rule or ruin will be enforced in Somalia too.

 

You have to realize that the UN is firmly under our control, so is the African Union, whose leaders are all corrupted and can not afford to stand in our way, so, it may be in your best interest to work with the US too, at least, you will work with our Oil Companies, and we will have a lot of jobs, least of which will be coffee boys and waitresses. Your expatriate educated Somalis can work as interpreters for the Oil companies, and Somalia can prosper if you accept our presence.

 

 

I offer peace and love to Somalia, we are a mighty great nation, and you are a little poor nation. I am asking that you become reasonable, we never killed even so many Japanese like we killed Somalis and you are still fighting! you amaze me really!

 

The first step for peace, is to follow Sheikh Shareef, our man in Somalia who promised that he will work with us if we helped him become President. Now that we have helped him become president, we will make sure that he stays president, remember our policy of Rule or Ruin!

 

 

Nabad Gelyo

 

 

Presdient Obama Fictitious Speech

 

 

2009 eNuri Satirical Series

Ne Noose is Good NEWS!