The never fading obsession that is lodged in my heart...

[OdaySomali]

PART 1

 

When you feel so strongly about something that you literally think about it day and night. When it is the first thing on your mind when you wake up in the mornings. When it pops into your mind even when you are engaged in other things. When you make plans in your mind about it even though you are far removed from it. When it is in relation to all other things, at the very centre of your cognitive being. It can be hard to ignore it. The never fading obsession that is lodged in my heart...

 

I have always been interested in politics and business more than your average person. However, over the past couple of years this has taken a certain Somali spin to it. Faced even in the western media with an avalanche of coverage and information about Somalia [and its politics] I have found myself drawn to it. More than anything, I have become concerned with (no, obsessed with) the current [somali] state of affairs.

 

Having grown up with virtually with no contact to Somalis and even - as you might well find yourself in certain places of continental Europe - often having been the only ethnic minority [in the establishments I frequented], I was at one point Somali only in name and ethnicity. Somalis almost lost me but being the lucky bunch that you are ... you can take a Somali out of the land but you can’t take the Somalinimo out of a Somali.

 

Gradually I have gone through a process of discovering and learning about Somalis and Somalia and have progressed from the point of being ignorant and indifferent to the Somali state of affairs, to being relatively well versed in the frequent discourse.

 

As part of this process I passed through a brief stage of disillusionment; immediately after I visited and travelled through the motherland on a personal [mini] pseudo fact-finding mission. In this stage, I gave up on our land, our people and our future - a sad stage where I settled for being an ethnic minority immigrant in a faraway land. I found it difficult to accustom to and accept the fact that this impoverished and backward land was where I belonged, no matter how bad the situation currently might be.

 

I found it difficult to let go of the glimmering lights, smooth roads and conveniences and accept the fact that those things never were and never would be mine. I was, to say the least, overwhelmed and daunted by the amount of work that my homeland apparently needed to bring it up to standard; at the time it seemed like and impossible and improbable target.

 

I was also immeasurably angry with the divisions and divisiveness, with the disagreeability embedded into the very fabic of the political elite.

 

I quietly even promised myself never to return, such was the disillusionment. Only good then, that that stage [of disillusionment] did not last long.

 

There was somthing inside of me, something that fought the disillusionment, something that is strong, tenacious, flexible and yet unyielding; it was my Somalinimo... I realised you can take a Somali out of the land but you can’t take the Somalinimo out of a Somali.

 

 

 

 

[Bluelicious]

Oday that was a beatiful piece of written work so when can I expect part 2?

[OdaySomali]

Thank you Bluelicious. Inshallah it wont be long... the topic is never far from my mind. Across the next few days inshallah parts 2, 3 ... etc.

 

p.s. I do apologise for the errors in the text, I typed it quite spontaniously (as you can imagine). I have cleaned it up somewhat and it should be a better read for it.

[Archdemos]

I first went to Somalia in 2007, and I hated it the moment I stepped off the plane. I just remember that penetrating searing heat as we landed; this coupled with just how loud and chaotic everything seemed sent me into shock. With a stupefied look I began to explore the city and just couldn’t believe the level of underdevelopment and deprivation. Fast forward 2009 and on my second trip, which lasted 6 months, this time as i was working in hargeisa. It was during this period that I truly loved what the country had to offer. Loved the culture, lack of class system and many positive aspects of the Somali culture were on display. As I became an insider I realised my best chance of peace of mind coupled with some notion of happiness was in Africa Som/TZ as at some point in the near future I intend to go back and create my own tech start-up. If the company I’m waiting for sorts itself out then theres no hanging around, i'll be there in a jiffy. I know I’ll be happier more content, productive back home. The tribal crap is a major turn off though. Additionally somalia as our parents knew it is forever gone, i think that boat has sailed friend. So we have to work within the already existing structures. This is not to say some kind of federal/devolved agreements can be reached, although given the current climate and animosity i very much doubt this also.

[OdaySomali]

Archdemos I definately relate to what you wrote in many respects.

[OdaySomali]

PART 2

 

I boarded the plane and embarked on the journey back to the developed places to which I had become so accustomed, though never felt as home. My disillusionment with the homeland was still very strong at that point and these negative feelings were magnified by the very hot and uncomfortable journey through Djibouti. It was utter torture, sitting in that simmering plane on the runway of Djibouti aiirport - with no airconditioning, no water, not comfort it felt like being inside an oven. When I thought it could not get warmer, it did just that and sweat, that was by now running down my everywhere, was causing my clothes to stick to my. As the passengers desperately attempted to cool themselves, in feverish movements with the safety instructions or whatever they could get their hands on, the children who were even more so unable to bear the heat, once again started crying as though they had just seen the elusive yet infamous xuux.

 

You may be thinking, "sod all this negativity and pessimism!", but there was most certainly a silver lining, as thin as it may be.

 

Having experiences just how underdeveloped and impoverished the homeland is, having seen the extent of lack of opportunities, education, health, jobs - all hings that we take for granted - I had indeed learnt a big lesson even though I might not have known it then. I was simply shocked at the number of mentally ill people - in every street there were at least several houses with mentally ill people either chained in front of them or screaming from the inside them. It seemed everywhere I looked there was a huge challenge waiting to be resolved.

 

I also found that the quality of everything was just terrible... from the haphazardly constructed 'houses', to the poor quality imported foods, to the uber-low-quality chinese goods flooding the country, to the dreadful 'roads', shabby business premises, the laughable attempts of plumbing and the list goes on... It was clear that someone, somewhere, had tried to improve things, to innovate, to implement new developments but had done so very, very badly - even though that may have been to the best of their ability.

 

The most shocking/disturbing/unbelievable/disgusting thing to me, was the following. The youth, faced with unemployment/lack of opportunities/jobs/propects and things to do in general, turned to other things. One of these things being, regretably and unfortunately, khamri. It seems that this, as you are aware perhaps of qat, is brought in illegally from Ethiopia and so is Khamri. Yaabka Yaabkiis I never imagined that come nightfall drunk somalis would readily be roaming the streets and that the community was aware of drunken youths - from Hargeisa to Garowe and beyond. The lack of proper leadership means that little to nothing is done about this, and few in number though they may be, I fear that it is only a growing trend.

 

What was lacking, I thought, was leadership - across every field/sector and in every respect. Those diasporans who had returned, instead of trying to make a difference, were often content with the status quo, they left the west and 'halkan' ayay soo candhaadhsadeen, wax ay soo kordhiyaan iska daa.

 

There were also success and good stories to be told.

 

It was a pleasure to be only in the midst of my Somali people. Walk down somali streets. sitting on a porch watching somali children playing peacefully in the street. Praying in one of the many, many mosques. being awoken every morning by the sounds of call to prayer. Watching people every evening congegrate in cafes and open space for mass-maxaadiros. One of the best things was that every morening, long before the subax prayer, you would see countless of people going to work... whether their stalls, stores, offices - women forming a large part of them - people working for their irsaaqad and using the Somali entrepreneurial spirit. I even had a favourite entrepreneur. She was this old lady who converted dollars at a local suuq with her very modest stall - I never went anywhere else to have my money changed. I was also immensly proud of the many wonderful children that I saw - full of ambition, determination and work-ethic. In terms of business, do somali shop-owners know custoemr service and a half! you walk into a store and they will bring you a seat, a cold drink - espeically they target qurbo-joog ladies - adement to have you purchase from them. Lastly I was expecting the infamous "dhaqancelis" shouts... these I never experienced, everyone was very welcoming, very friendly - apart from oromos who would heckle you for money at every opportunity - no one would say a word to you as you go about your business.

 

The silver lining and moral of the story. You will only ever have one home and that is dhulka hooyo. It is upto us to be the catalyst that out land and people require. We need to contribute tangible improvements and change. We need to remember that as humble as we may think of oursleves, we are in effect the 'elite', the most affluent, most educated, most travelled etc. We are capable of improving the situation on the ground because all the place needs is a reversal of the brain-drain.

 

I have not said everything and all that I would have liked to, in the way that I had originally planned, but it matters not. You get the gist of what I was trying to say.

[OdaySomali]

Haybad waxaad ku leedahay dhulkaaga hooyo!

[Carafaat]

OdaySomali as a former bounty or Cheesehead(Kaaskop), I welcome you back to Somalinimo.