Are we a rude people?

[N.O.R.F]

Archdemos,

 

I’m not sure about the culture thing. Back home when ordering or requesting something often words such as ‘saxib’ ‘walaal’ ‘inadeer’ ‘adeer’ etc are used. Endearing words which is akin to your ps and qs in the west.

 

Abu Salman,

It’s the committee system we use in the west where the mosques are not run by an authority like a ministry of awqhaaf/religious affairs. No regulation of who is adequately qualified to be an Imam etc etc. Couple with pride and arrogance then you’re bound to get scuffles. On a separate note, when I’m travelling up there I tend to leave here on a Friday afternoon because I know I will more likely benefit more from hearing a sermon here as opposed to hearing one in the UK where the message tends to unclear and confusing in many mosques.

 

Maybe something can be communicated to the Shiekhs on the Somali TV channels about the issue of manners.

 

Juxa,

 

A sense of entitlement perhaps? An attitude of acting as one pleases because he/she stands to gain?

 

Ps what were those lessons you mentioned?

[- Femme -]

And when you point out how rude and inconsiderate most Somalis are - people get very defensive and say 'Oh, that's just how they are'. So?? Does it make it right?

[Carafaat]

I think one should be rude towards Indians, thasts how they are used to.

[Miriam1]

Great topic Norf. I believe our people are generally copy cats - I wouldn't see anyone treating a service person like that in the west - they wouldnt get away with it. But in the Arabs there is general disregard for people in service - especially Indians and Pakistanis - the worst of it is that Somalis would copy the Arabs and treat these people like that.

 

I am not sure how things are in Somalia though ,on a recent trip to Hergaisa, I went into a store with my aunt and this man was buying something beside us, instead of handing the money to the shopkeeper he - threw at him! lol and the money fell on the desk - I was so shocked I gasped and told him not to treat the guy like that in English - yea it was an awkward moment lol. So maybe we are just inherently rude and the moment we can let it out we do.

[Nin-Yaaban]

I wouldn't say we are rude people...just that we aren't accustomed to the culture of the country we are living in. Give it few years, and most people would get acclimated to how things work in their host country. When i first came to the States back in 1999, i use to do things that i know now were rude. But as the years went by, i kinda got the hang of what's acceptable to say/do when dealing with Mareykan people. So every time i see newcomers that do those kinda things, i kinda know where they are coming from.

[Narniah]

I assume it has to do with wealth or status? Since you mentioned you've picked this up amongst Somalis living in Dubai who came from the west?

 

I'd imagine that the Indian guy probably makes a lot less money than that Somali guy who spoke to him with that condescending tone.

 

However, generally speaking I find that the more educated or Islamically equipped a person is the more respectful and well mannered they are.

[Abu-Salman]

Norf,

I was long criticised for being too nice, indirect and hence "responsible" for being taken for a ride;

surprisingly, this acquaintance who is seen as bad tempered, making a scene in public (as a lesson for others) is now largely treated well and avoided (hence why I often get asked to get "hot" too and throw tantrums, make scenes).

 

Of course, insults, violence, envy or spreading rumors is totally against our background and I now find myself changed, taking less precautions before criticising or reporting something about someone, even though I largely hang with "wadados" or "sheikhs" (the irony of learning the worst things from people supposed to show model behavior).

 

I agree there is a lack of regulations and we have even witnessed beginners teaching others despite basic mistakes on the blackboard.

 

Of course, the lack of exercise, terrible diet, diabete or past addictions of those involved act also as a poison to the brain and those links between diet, lifestyle and mental health or behavior is increasingly explored...

[Som@li]

It could be linked with the on going violence in our home, and breakdown of all institutions, I don't think any TV broadcasts will change anything, it will take time, u can not teach old dogs new tricks, we should train the young ones.

 

The other day, I was shocked to see a mother cheering for her son, for bullying another kid, Waa fariid, Geesi ah, la iskuma doon doonto.

[Malika]

^I have been told on several occasion by Somali parents, to tell off your child for misbehaving is to erode the child's confidence. Now if you don't discipline your child - who will teach the next generation manners hee? If his or her mother tells her its okay to be as rude as you want, because that is a sign of fariidnimo iyo geesinimo - only forgetting the child will need to know how to live/work/associate with the rest of the human race.

 

Norf, I dont attend the Somali mosque, after an incident - whilst praying someone made their business to come and shovel us around ordering us on how to stand - I was so angry,never went back. We also pray Eid with the rest of the Ummah,for some reason the women section tends to be packed with Somali women whom have assumed the Eid prayers was a social gathering to catch up on their never ending chit chats - every Eid the Imman has to make special plea to them to keep quite - to respect the khutba etc. It does gets embarrassing, when everyone else has shuushh them every two minutes.

 

I agree, the wadaads or those on the know how need to educate the people - constant talking about women, this or that isnt the only aspect of Islam [okay that was my dig at the sheikhs..lol]

[OdaySomali]

The definition of 'rude' is subjective in my opinion.

 

There are plenty of 'rude' people amoung all ethnic groups of the world. I might expect an ignorant from another ethnic group to generalise about Somalis but for Somalis themselves to condemn their own people as 'rude' is just rediculous. I've known plenty of rude asians, indians or pakistanis ... so what.

 

Rudeness can be a quality as well as a liability... depending on the situation and how you use it. I say kudos to the rude people, go do your thing.

 

******* dad isku-kalsooni la'aan hayso aa soo baxay caawa.

[OdaySomali]

Some might benefit from making it a new-years resolution to work on their isku-kalsooni...

[uchi]

You may as well add very racist to the list. It's sad the way Somalis describe other ethnicities, I always wondered if some of the conversation they have were translated to english e.g, how disgusting they would sound.

[Bluelicious]

Malika;769601 wrote:

I think it stems from the upbringing - if a man can call his mother 'eeyahee', can curse the prophet - maa laga sugeyaa to order tea in politeness?

 

One thing about growing up in other societies one learns from others - especially the other Africans. The Swahilis will not pass you by without greeting you. Children must greet their elders every morning, including strangers on the streets. Treating one other with respect and humbleness is a must. When buying stuff, they would use humbled words like 'naomba' - 'I plea can you sell me this or that' - their mannerism has nothing to do with being educated or not, its part of who they are and how they choose to be.

I have notice the opposite when it comes to how somalis behave - waxaad modeeysaa ineey dagaal kujiraan all the time, they have very little respect for others, which means they have very little respect for themselves.

 

Norf you talk of maqayaad - you should see them in mosques, subhanallah!

 

Tarbiyah is missing in our community.

I 100% agree with you that it all depends on their upbringing at home and if you dont respect others you certainly dont respect yourself either.

[Samafal]

An indian classmate once told me that he used to think every time a group of Somali elders gathered and had discussion it will explode into fist fight until he realized its a culture thing.

 

These are some of the manners somalis are famous for:

 

1. Somalis especially the old generation like to be loud: This is to be heard and be authorative so as you're seen a hard man

 

2.Speak firmly and unrelenlessly: so as you are feared

 

3. Lash out at times: waa libaax

 

4. Use a foul language like " aabahaa waxaa kusamee" and teach these to your children so as they are not bullied at the playground

 

5 Dismiss what the other say and bulldoze your way of thinking

 

Also I noticed the "fish and chips" generation are completely in a loss becouse they are caught between two completely different cultures.No wonder they look bewildered!

 

I also agree it comes down to education, but only a fraction of Somalia's children go to school. Two years ago I went back home and I was shocked how many children don't go to school and to some parents education is worthless. You can't blame them they hardly see any one succeeding becouse of his educational achievment. The few they see are from the abroad and that's where every one aims for, its that way to success or the high seas.

[Nina Fox]

Language barrier or culture shouldn't be used as an excused for ignorance. Calling a fellow humanbeing by clicking your fingers is just vile. Akhlaaq bini aadan nimo iyo mid religion midna ma ahan taas. If it were me on the receiving end I would refuse service simple as. Middle Eastern countries and 3rd World countries are not customer service orientated thats why they have to bear this malicious behaviour.

 

I worked in a very popular cinema when I was a teenager and the amount of jaahil's walking through the door was just too funny sometimes. I was pleased this behaviour was not only projected by Somalia. Irish Gypsies, Srilankans, Indians, Jamaicans were equally as bad. When I was promoted to Assistant I got my revenge. One one occasion 4 Somali grown a$$ women started edeb daro with the staff, mesha dhan qeylo and buuq ka dhigeen. The staff that were tending to them were so fed up when I intervened. I refused them entry and refunded their tickets. One of them knew my mom and complained lool. Aniga maaba u joojiyey ba....Hooyadey aa sheegtee Abaheeyna twitter u dira hadaa rabtiiin. There is no need for acting like bushmen in a civilized society.

 

Somalida laakin waxaan la yaabaa,,,,20 years in Qurbo and they have yet to learn about ettiquette and polite mannerisms. Everytime I come across loud people waan ka naxaa. I feel embarrased for them. Akhas dheh