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Modesty

Holding Hands

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Modesty   

Asalaamu Alaykum,

 

Lately on campus, just call me gabar shaqo la'aani ka badatay but I saw a muslim girl who wasn't somali, holding hands,and waist with this guy, know I assumed that they were married or something. ANyways, my friend started laughing when he saw this, saying that its haraam. I know its not common for Somali couples to do that, but I never saw a hijabed sister holding a guys hand walking down the street. I kind of thought that was sweet, and I replied to my friend that if they were married its okay, but at the same time we aren't supposed to imitate the gaalo. So I know this seems minor, but I thought it was interesting to talk about it.Do you agree with my reply..?

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LuCkY   

Good Question Modesty.

Im not sure but i think that its ok if they are married-correct me if im wrong.

But how is showing affection(hoLding hands etc) to your significant other imitating gaaLo? :confused:

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Modesty   

Lucky, what I met by that statement is that in my own opinion most gaalo do get touchy including holding hands in public, I really don't know if it something that is liked in Islam, because I THINK we should shy away from that. Allah knows, but from what I see from the majority of muslim people they don't get like that in public. I have nothing against that, don't get me wrong(I don't like to hold hands in public) , I think everyone has the right to their own whatever they want to do. But, I thought it was something to talk about.

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Intersesting..

 

I keep coming across similar sceniros this last year @ my university, and its not my place to judge really.

 

But i always felt that there was something wrong about a sister who was wearing Hijaab and yet @ the same time being touchy touchy with the guy she was not married too.

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Assalamu Alaikum,

 

Modesty, that's a good question sis. As far as affection and Islam's grounds for it in public goes, there is one report of a time when there was some sort of sport was going on outside in a public place. The Prophet (saw) was standing there watching the sport and Aisha(ra) wanted to watch as well. So, he told her to come behind and look over his shoulder, which she did. She stood directly behind him with her chin rested on his shoulder, and she stayed like that until she was satisfied and left. The Prophet(saw) didn't move until she was done watching.

 

I don't know about you, but that's pretty close. If that happened with the Prophet(saw) and his wife(ra) then I don't see the problem with holding hands in public. I used to live in Cairo for a year and something and you'd be surprised how affectionate the Muslim couples are to each other over there. Fully geared brothers holding their wives with one hand and carrying their kid in the other while she, niqaabi black from head to toe, walks next to him. Masha'Allah, it's really beautiful to see those kinds of things. I think it enforces more love in the relationship. Those little things make a difference.

 

As far as immitation of the kuffaar goes, I wouldn't state it as such. If anything, I think there are limitations to how much affection can be displayed in public, like kissing.....UMMMM... Some things belong in private places. Hope that answers your q sis... Jazzak'Allahu khayran.

 

Wa aakhiru da'wanaa an'alhamdu'lillahi rabbil 'aalameen

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Xafsa   

^^^^ I agree. I don't think holding hands is a big deal but more intimate things such as kissing should be kept private.

Nice topic Modesty.

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Qac Qaac   

hey first let me start this by stating that i am not a scholar. so i'll just tell what i heard.

 

i heard from one of the sheikhs, it is not allowed to hold ur wifes hand nor waist or vice versa. because ppl who are not married will see them, and will find a nice thing to do, and it might lead to single ppl who are not married to see u and do some acts that is against islam. ISLAM PREVENTS STUFF BEFORE IT HAPPENS.

 

OMAR BIN KHATTAB, USED HIT THE PPL WITH STICK, WHEN HE SEES A MAN HOLDING HIS WIFES HAND IN PUBLIC, AND USED TO TELL THEM DO THAT IN YOUR HOUSE. don't prove to us that u love her, by holding her hand. but take care of her at home when u and her are alone to each other.

 

allah u aclam, this is what i heard.

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QacQac...can you please provide the Hadith...

 

Personally, holding hands is not a big issue. Gaalada go all out when it comes to public affection.....constantly hugging and kissing.....and this I find it to be a bit too much and uncomfortable.

 

If I see a hijaabi holding hands with a man, I had to believe that she's lawfully his. As muslims we have to trust each other and not assume the worst of each other.

 

I find it sweet :D

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Rahima   

Although i don't like people displaying over affection in public ;) , i wouldn't go as far as saying it's prohibited (haram) or disliked (makrooh). As far as i know it's mubaax (permissible) for i have yet to see anything which opposes it, we all know the basic rule in Islam is:

 

Everything is halaal unless specified otherwise (unless it's concerning Cibaada where the opposite is the case).

 

QAC QAC, could you please try to get the hadith for us, i'm interested to find out about it and also its classification (saxiix, xassan??). This is the first I’ve heard of this, just goes to show how much we don't know. JZK

smile.gif

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Modesty   

Yep! I guess if its not haraam(like I thought :rolleyes: ) go for it. Plus, I change my stand to not imitating gaalo because if you see a muslim couple holding hands we should assume that they're married, so like Tamina said always assume the best in muslims(well sometimes, like the saying 'don't trust no one', but thats another issue)

 

Asalaamu Alaykum! :D

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nuune   

iam waiting the HADITH,

Qac Qaac ,please can u provide the source,i like 2 know,

 

 

in mi opinion,there is nothing wrong if the couple r married

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Mujahida   

Salam's ya muslimeen

 

I don't think it's haram. They're Obviously Married. I personally see it constantly happening here. There is nothing wrong with "just holding hands Alahu alam. If you have a hadeeth " athauntic one" then please provide it. Anything else remains your opinion. Which does not matter. ;)

 

Ma'Salama

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Aslaama Alaykum w.w

 

With the exception of inheritance laws, which are clearly spelt out in the Quran and Hadith, the rest of the "crimes" that he mentions -- eating during Ramadan in public; khalwat; consumption of alcohol; unmarried couples holding hands -- are personal trangressions, meaning which while they are acknowledged as sinful, there is no prescribed punishment in the Quran.

 

Allah knows the best.

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Modesty, did this come out as a shock to you? Because I see everyday Somali's, and other musliim women holding hands of men. The sad thing is we later find out that this women is single. But we hear this so often that we decided some Musliims are losing their religion. But I always try to be positive about it cause you never know they might be just rumors.

 

.:peace n luv:.

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