Dating on the Cheap in Hargeisa

[Jacaylbaro]

Communal advice and Divorce on the bus

By ibtisam

 

Strange title you might think, but let me share a story with you all. While most foreigners and Somaliland Diaspora returnees roam the city in big 4×4 cars or at least little bangers that need occasional pushing over a heel or a rock, I have been walking and taking the public transport on almost daily basis to get to and from work six days a week. The bus is probably my only interaction with local everyday Somalilander’s, costing just SL Shillings 1500, it is the popular and accessible option for most. Although slow, and time consuming (I do wonder when bus stops, savers, weekly tickets, monthly tickets and so on will reach Somaliland), it is easy and convenient for none drivers like me. I also got an additional benefit I did not bargain for which is experiencing ordinary collective chatter, jokes, fights and laughter. Of course the first few days, being a Londoner I was utterly shocked that I could not alternate between reading my book in peace and silently studying my sandals. The bus is loud, erupting with laughter, heated discussions and people discussing intimate details or borderline x-rated content. After three -four days, I gave up on trying to read, partly because I frequently became the topic of discussion directly or indirectly and partly because it was simply just too loud.

 

Curiosity also got the better of me and I started listening to the animated conversations swirling around me. It is quite difficult to keep tract because with 28 people on the bus (the bus won’t move till all seats are filled and few guys are swinging from the doorway, holding on casually as if not noticing the harsh braking and halts or the bumpy road, I marvel at their bravery and madness, frequently feeling on edge because I’m convinced one will fall off!) The bus conductor joins the air-blockers (the guys swinging from the door way and blocking the air) and clicking his fingers to signal for payment, immediately each row of passengers put their money together and pass it down to a passenger at the front (saying that’s for the us 12 at the back or us 4 at the front), this person then passes the money to the bus conductor (young bus conductors always count, while the older bus conductors just put it in their pocket). To get off the bus, you just shout “stop for me” loudly and it will immediately stop (where it is in the middle of roundabout, the President’s gate, the side road, the school junction- basically anywhere).

 

With the task of collecting the bus fare over, the passengers will either 1) discuss the hot topic on the news (recently it was been the Oromo deportation, the tragic floods which killed 18 people, Al shabab or the president’s latest speech or insult to opponents) Or 2) If there is no news, the topic almost always is women, girls, wife’s, culture or Somali Diaspora returnees (Daqan ceelis- meaning cultural tourist). For my afternoon ride home at around 2pm, the BBC Somali is often blaring from the bus speakers and the discussion that follows is normal around the topics discussed. In the evenings, some drivers either play music, while other curiously rotate in 5 minute intervals of playing Music and Quran (I guess those ones are trying to cater to all passengers).

 

Local Somalis have so much energy and they love waking up early even the unemployed ones, while I struggle to drag myself out of bed, by 6.45am (yes you read that correctly) the bus is full of loud, chatter, energetic people who have already returned from the markets or visiting people or some other errand. Although people do not know each other, by the time the person reaches their destination, normally always (for the guys) someone asks them, nice to meet you; what is your name or are you so and so’s family (sub clan of some sort deprived from his views or experience of what he has shared) and the person gets off cheerful waving and shouting their Salam as they go.

 

Now, if you are still wondering about the divorce on the bus title, a few days ago, I got on the bus at my usual time, I was one of the last passengers to get on and we were soon on the move. A man loudly proclaimed he needed advice, he bitterly complained about his wife’s combined laziness, hardheadedness, lack of initiative, rudeness and lack of respect for him, should I divorce her? he asked. Some passengers laughed, I was outraged that he would air his private business on a public bus and I assumed it was probably not all her fault (after all what kind of man discusses his family business on the bus and slag’s his wife off to strangers, surely not a good or even decent husband). The female passengers asked him what he contributes to the house, how long he’s been married and various other questions. The older male passengers advised him to just marry another wife to ease his life and make him content, while the younger male passengers told him to divorce her if he is so unhappy.

 

I silently marveled at the different responses, the elderly passengers were adamant that he should keep his wife and kids, but perhaps if he remarries jealousy will make her a better wife or his new wife will set an example for her, he will also have another home to hide away in and more obedient and loving wife. The young male passengers were so quick with prescribing divorce, while the women focused on lots of random but pointless laughter and chatter. What amazes me is that no one seemed surprised or even reprimanded him for bad mouthing his wife, or shocked at the private sharing of information, but most importantly it seemed the norm to seek life changing advice from a bunch of strangers on a public bus!

 

The man soon reached his destination and prepared to get off, people were still shouting advise and he was thanking others, laughing at some suggestions, he proclaimed that as soon as he goes home, he will tell his wife he is getting married because he can’t deal with her and her short comings, if she demands a divorce or acts up, he will promptly divorce her! I cannot believe the man made up his mind about the fate of his marriage on a bus ride?!!!!.

 

I watched him walking down a side path, as the bus continued another discussion started. I wondered what bonds these strangers together for 15-45mins that allows them to confide in each other openly, even seriously considering the advice they are given. I wondered what happened with the man? Did he divorce his wife? I imagined funny scenarios of him telling a new woman “marry me, my previous wife is lazy, rude, bad to the kids and insults me” I hope she/they laugh in his face and tells him to take a running jump!.

[N.O.R.F]

Oh those buses

 

JB, imagine being away from Somalis for a week. Would you survive?

 

One of the things I enjoy the most on my brief visits is the general chit chat you have with complete strangers. On the bus, at the petrol pump, at the barbers, in shops and in hotels. Considering most have a sense of humour it's fantastic

[Jacaylbaro]

Waar markaan ka maqanahay waaban ka raystaa anigu buuqooda ,,,