munirah Posted September 4, 2011 The number of divorce rates in our somali communities are growing faster than ever... Any reasons to why that is ? I just wonder sometimes what ppl are doing so wrong these days that they can't even keep a marriage together. Anyone? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boom Boom Posted September 4, 2011 Please mind your own business. Divorce is a private affair. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sharma-arke451 Posted September 4, 2011 munirah, the reason is failure to solve their differences out. unislamic start off. Be it the music, the dance, the video recording, the too high meher, and many more Boom boom, if you have nothing worth to say, better shut your **** Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted September 4, 2011 Too much choice maybe. Irreconcilable differences maybe. Qabiil incompatibilty maybe. Who knows. Koley there is a wedding every Friday, Saturday and Sunday in every city. Have divorces overtaken weddings yet? Uma malaynayo. Xaashadu ma xuma. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted September 4, 2011 lol@ xajadu ma xuma...True, there are weddings everytime. I been to many weddings just this year..friends, neighbors..etc!!..im not really the kinda person who goes to wedding I try to minimize yet I been to so many!..couldnt skip them! Munira, I think it has a lot to do with ladies becoming more independent (that is financially independent)... So if the guy acts up theres nothing thats holding the lady to him..bacda madow! salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Som@li Posted September 4, 2011 ^And do you endorse Bacda Madow? Hadii aan la is fahmeeyn, in la kala hawl yareeysto baa fiican. No big issue, marka caruuri jirto uun buu dhib leeyahay, hadii kale qof walba boorsadiisa buu qaadan. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted September 4, 2011 ^generally speaking I believe that marriage is till death do you apart - but what do I know, im sure those who are getting divorced have their own issues going that they think they are better not being in it... laakin waxa wacan in waxkasta la isku dayo to make it work...especially when there are kids involved like u said! I know i cant imagine a life without my father. N i'm sure when a father isnt around it has a negative impact on the kids especially and even the overall happiness of the family..every lady can pretend she has everything under control..bt that family isn't complete (especially when the dad is alive and somewhere..if the dad is dead..taas wa la fahmay)..but knowing your dad is somewhere and here you are without your dad? hmm i really think that is a sad case!..especially for wiilasha, who will they take as a role model??! usually moms are too soft, and that exactly explains why the bois go out of control later on in life my 2 cents salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A_Khadar Posted September 6, 2011 Valenteenah.;744097 wrote: Too much choice maybe. Irreconcilable differences maybe. Qabiil incompatibilty maybe. Who knows. Koley there is a wedding every Friday, Saturday and Sunday in every city. Have divorces overtaken weddings yet? Uma malaynayo. Xaashadu ma xuma. Ina abiti yaa og hee if diverces overtook weddings.. May every day of the week, 7days, diverces happen when infact weddings may often happen only within the mention three days.. I guess the only way to prove this might be when we start having divorce events which I once heard there was such event in my town.. "Heblaayo getover/you better off without him party baa loo dhigay.." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A_Khadar Posted September 6, 2011 Aaliyyah;744101 wrote: Munira, I think it has a lot to do with ladies becoming more independent (that is financially independent)... So if the guy acts up theres nothing thats holding the lady to him..bacda madow! salaam War Aaliyyah ha la iska ilaaliyo ama shaqada halaga ilaaliyo weeye.. I think marriage is more than just financial independent/dependent. I would guess there are so many factors to result family saperations and each family break down has unique reasons.. I would blame mainly aduunkoo sii waalanaya for everything not only family breakdowns.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Zack Posted September 6, 2011 munirah;744077 wrote: The number of divorce rates in our somali communities are growing faster than ever... Any reasons to why that is ? I just wonder sometimes what ppl are doing so wrong these days that they can't even keep a marriage together. Anyone? So is this based on some sort of study? Survey? How do u know what you are telling us? Actually the divorce rate has been declining recently. According my own study, the divorce rate of the Somali community has been spiking in the late 1990's and early 2000's. The reason for the recent drop is haweenkii oo saaxiga keenay. It used to be "naa heedhe bacda banaanka u dhig!". "doesn't he know that in the west, it is "ladies first"". Plus some men came to their sense finally, at least in the part of the world I live in. There is now less Mirqaanis, less drug addicts, and more hard-working faaraxs. Based on aragtideyda, the divorcees lerarned their lessons the hard way and now understand the benefits of the sweet marriage. Minor things like "Who was that girl on the phone waryaa, change the baby's diapers waryaa(while she is talking to her girlfriend on the phone" are not causing break ups any more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
burahadeer Posted September 6, 2011 Not a problem where am.May be 2 divorces last 10yrs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chubacka Posted September 6, 2011 who knows if the divorce rate amonst somalis in different parts of the world is indeed decreasing or increasing, any research would make for interesting reading. Lets say divorce is becoming more common amongst somalis in the west, as ppl have said there are a 1001 reasons why ppl would choose to get divorced, perhaps like the other communities in the west divorce is much more of an option especially for women than it once was, everyone knows women who are divorced and they can see that life does indeed go on and its a viable option. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
STOIC Posted September 6, 2011 I think i agree with Zack here...more men are taking the domestic responsibility serious...I recently joined some Somali families for a brunch after Eid prayer..There were probably twenty families with young families.Most of the men were doing the basics like changing diapers and taking kids to the park (of course before they hit the khat session at their single pals house)...Most of the men were hard working people with jobs... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ElPunto Posted September 6, 2011 ^Good to hear. There are no real stats on divorce in the Somali community but it's not a minority just on anecdotal basis. I'm not sure why there is shoulder shrugging about it tho. While it is an available option in Islam - it is really disliked. Sometimes I think Somalis could do with a bit of that Arab culture that puts a real stigma on divorce and propels couples to find a solution to their problems. Especially when there are kids. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted September 6, 2011 lol A_Khadar u got me wrong I didn't mean to say women are to blame..not at all im sure different reasons might result in tension, but what I MEANt WAS men were always jerks..or wait should I say some men were always irresponsible even back home im sure..laakin women used to take all the pain just so they could raise their families (oo ninka way u baahnayen yacni in uu la dabaro bilasha iyo waxay reerku u bahanyihiin) laakin hada ama way shaqaysan ama caydh bay qadeen marka haday happy wax ku aheen waxay ku dhihi war iga huleel dhibtaada ma rabee oo bacda madow horay usii xanbaaro ..saas bay ila tahay. just saying! LOL.. salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
