Divorce (The facts)

[Juxa]

Salaam aleykum folks,

 

Before I start, let me say that the purpose of this thread is to clarify few questions I have been asked over the years. I decided to tackle this issue as many families in the UK decided iney is-sheegtaan, this means to declare they are married to Ceyrta.

 

The issue of admitting marriage arose as the rules relating to benefits have been tightened and questions have been asked by the department of work and pension specially over the increase of child birth to supposedly single mothers.

 

Now the first step of is-sheegashada is registering the marriage at your local council by applying for civil ceremony and getting marriage certificate.

 

Of course when things go pear-shaped the usual waad-furantahay won’t work. One must divorce legally. Here is a concept where many Somali men and women find difficult to grasp. The basic are:

 

The process starts with one party presenting Petition to the court. The party instigating the petition is called Petitioner and the other party is called Respondent.

 

Second issue is jurisdiction; the question to answer would be whether courts in England & Wales have jurisdiction to hear the Petition. One must prove that they are either habitually resident in the UK or domiciled in the UK. This requirement is not too difficult, unless faarax run away and was now living in Kenya/Dubai.

 

One year Rule:

 

Divorce proceedings cannot be commenced within first year of marriage. Yacni you have to stay married for 12 bilood. This is an absolute bar.

 

The Grounds:

 

Many people make a mistake with this. There is only one Ground for obtaining divorce

 

That the marriage has irretrievably broken down. Then one of 5 facts must be proven.

 

1- Adultery (Fact A)

 

This means xaliimo or faarax has committed adultery. Subxanallah hopefully this won’t apply to us wonderful muslim people but this is a grey area. Marrying another wife might be constituted as adultery as this country does not recognise polygamous marriages.

 

For adultery two elements must be proven, first that Respondent committed adultery, second that petitioner found it intolerable to live with the Respondent.

 

Adultery is question of fact and can be proven by Respondent admitting to it, a child being born to the wife, Respondent living with another man/woman and enquiry agent providing a report etc

 

Finally if couple cohabit more than 6 months, after the act of adultery then a petitioner can’t rely on it. This means if xaliimo accepts kuraas cusub or dahab as maseyr fur, she can’t claim under this rule.

 

To be continued……………….

[Valenteenah.]

I always hear of the 'irreconcilable differences' one, which celebrities often use. That one seems good and simple.

 

Even if he takes another wife, proving adultery can be tricky, so maaha? One, he prolly will never register that marriage, two, it will probably take place in another country and three, even if kids come into that marriage a paternity test would be necessary to prove they are his. Near impossible.

 

 

Haye, bal tell us the rest. Forewarned is forearmed, as they say.

[Juxa]

Val, if xaliimo is angry enough, there are ways, specially if said second wifey is in a country where enquiry agency can go, compile a file etc. if you have lacag now,,,,anything is possible

 

That the marriage has irretrievably broken down, is the main ground, you still have to establish one of the 5 facts, so celebrity normally rely on Fact B which i will tell you about in a bit

[Valenteenah.]

True true, anything is possible.

[Juxa]

2- Behaviour (Fact B)

 

This is where the fun starts. Most used fact on divorce petition.

 

As the title suggest this fact depends on the Respondent’s behaviour during the marriage. Behaviour such that the Petitioner cannot reasonably expected to live with the Respondent.

 

The court will decide each case on its merits. This means the court will apply purely objective test. Judgement will be made about the way Respondent behaved and the effect this had on the Petitioner. The court will take into account the Petitioner’s character and personality into account.

 

Behaviour could be serious one such as violence or less serious acts such as nagging, lack of affection or meanness. Personally if trivial matters such as nagging would matter many of us would be divorced!

 

So in theory Faarax could petition xaliimo uunsi badan iney shido and he finds it difficult to live with. Xaliimo could equally claim Faarax eats too much jaad and has ruined her fadhi-carbeed.

 

I remember a case where a woman complained her husband criticised the way she washed her lady garments…divorce was granted. This means the behaviour complained of does not need to be serious, as long as Petitioner found it difficult to live with.

[NGONGE]

Sounds very complicated and needless really (unless there is a part that I'm not getting of course). Why would you make your marraige "legal" when you can just as easily delcare that you are "living together" or co-habiting, etc?

 

(carry on anyway).

[-Lily-]

It all sounds very silly trying to convince people why you cant be together anymore.

[AYOUB]

Juxa, Why go to the council in the first place, there's no much difference between wife and "partner" in the benefit/tax system is there?

[Juxa]

lol@ lily.... sadly if you leave wadankaada you have to comply with meeshad joogtid. My abti ( a high court judge in somalia) told me that even over there, you needed a certificate of reconsilation. dheeldheel divorce kuma sameysan karin. altho i doubt many couples went to maxkamad for divorce, i think most went for maintenance for the children

 

Ngonge, it is not that complicated really, to answer your question, co-habiting couples dont have same rights. A cohabiting spouse do not have a right to the house, or maintenance for herself ( unless she can show she relied on promise made by her partner to her detriment or if she can show she contributed say for example purchase of the home, it is called constructive trust i think). She/he wont receive lump sum, Order for sale, Order for adjustment for the house etc. She can only claim maintenance and housing for children, if she has any

 

Now if you were in civil partnership, you would have same rights as same sex couples...I wont go there cause it does not apply to us (ahem)

 

Ayoub, to be entitled to what they call Passport benefits (housing benefit, council tax, child credit, income support) you have to inaad cadaysid caruurta wixi dhalay. Recently sharciga waala adkeeyay so many families are seeing that in fact there is no much difference claiming single parent or being with a husband with a job.

 

see if you can show you have low income, you will still be entitled to many benefits plus working tax credit etc ( not sure about the terms, maybe some of you can correct me). balse the condition waa inla is sheegtaa, after years of claiming that you are single parent, the initial been-been must be corrected and you have to say husband is back, register your marriage legally and live stress free.

 

ps: if you have children, i highly recommend that your marriage is legal and registered. If anything happens to you things get very complicated, specially if the mother dies. The welfare of children will be subject to assessment with social services. If father dies accidently, unless marriage was legally the wife will not be entitled to same level of compensation as married spouse. Sometimes you have to show they lived together for 2 years,which again somalida cant show as they told Ceyrta caruurta aabahood does not live with us, or he disappeared or even worse waa boyfriend

[NGONGE]

^^ Juxa, you're getting your wires crossed dee. Are you talking about couples that own houses and have a finanical stake in the marrige or those who may be unemployed, on benefits, etc?

 

How is such a marraige beneficial for someone on benefits and who pays for all the lawyer court fees? It sounds like a needless nightmare for such a couple to even walk near a civil cermoney.

[Juxa]

I am not getting my wires crossed, dhoore waaxid.

 

You asked the difference with cohabiting couples and i told you they dont have same rights as married couples.

 

The point i am trying ahem to make is, there are many benefits to being married under sharciga gaalada, you dont need a lawyer to register your marriage, just the initial fee for the licence. In the long term is beneficial to the family and children

 

the lies should stop....and ha igu xanaaqin, i dont even practice family law:)

[NGONGE]

^^ dee kugoman xanaaqin, adiga iska qarxay.

 

I still don't get what the benefits to someone unemployed are (if the conditions for divorce are that prohibitive and, probably, expensive too).

 

What I am saying is, if you are on benefits and you have the choice of declaring someone as being your "partner" rather than spouse, why would you do the latter? What you get from it is all hypothetical (like dying mothers, compensation,etc) whilst what you lose (considering that the divorce rates amongst Somalis are high) isn't that practical. Worse still, that one year limit before being granted a divorce is a tad scary for most newly-weds.

 

p.s.

But I agree that the lies should stop, I just don't think you're selling it that well. By the way, you should become a family lawyer, this promises to be worth a lot of dosh.

[Juxa]

Ngonge, we, somalis, saying waxaan nahay partners wont work, that is effectively declaring caruurta nikkah kuma dhalan, ma garatay.

Personally i think it is important to register a marriage, iyadoo aanba benefit ahaan la fiirin

 

maybe i am not doing well explaining, You wont lose anything by being married legally (i expect many fathers to jump cunaheyga but not from you) waraa it wont make any difference, in fact you be eligible to other things

 

you are right divorce rates is high as it is, i dont think divorcing through the courts is for majority of us, balse for women it is important, you see marriage shont end with WAAD IGA FURANTAHAY, each party have responsibility during and after the marriage ends.

 

Faarax shont be able to walk away. look what you made me say, all i wanted to explain the process.

 

practising family law waa xaaraan:). and i believe you should stay in a marriage and make each other miserable

[AYOUB]

Thanks, surely one can prove to be the daddy without getting hitched at the townhall? is a birth certificate not enough?

 

PS just noticed I virtually asked the same Q as NGONGE. That's me fat fingers typing speed with a so-called smart phone.

 

PPS I'm not contemplating to murder no one, I was only joking that day so spare me the scary "if the mother dies" stories.

[Juxa]

eh about the birth certificate.....enough for what? the only thing it is relevant is to parental responsibility (PR) and rights of fathers..lakin taas waa sheeko kale, in normally relates to Care proceedings ( caruurta la qaato as somalida call it)

 

ps: birth certificate is not a proof of paternity and does not give you any specific right to a child or conform specific responsibility to the person named there