4.5 compatible love life

[Abtigiis]

If I did not go to listen to the erotic young mullah who has become something of a celebrity in my part of the town lately, I would never have met Khayrto. On that given Friday, the sheikh was finishing his sermon when I arrived.

 

“To appreciate Allah’s magical powers, just look at your penis.” The sheikh said. Everybody seemed thunderstruck, including myself. “What a blasphemy!” we all introverted. “Look at your manhood” the young sheikh’s voice was raised even more. “Look how Allah makes it weak when he wants to release us of bodily waste and how he makes it hard when he wants us to breed”. The sheikh’s voice was bursting at the seams now. “Look at your tits, my Muslim sisters. Allah makes it a source of food and nutrition for children, and a source of pleasure, with electrifying warmth, for men.” The shiekh’s eyes were full of tears. His hands were trembling. I admired his ingenuity. At least, he didn’t repeat the boring reference to mountains and the sky when proof of the Almighty’s might is discussed in the mosques.

 

That is all I heard, but people told me the young sheikh has many equally marvelous expressions of getting a fusion between sensual and spiritual topics.

 

Khayrto left the mosque before me, as she would later tell me. I went to buy a playstation for my children from the electronics shop she sells. She says it belongs to her brother, but I have never seen this brother. I think she is telling the truth. That is how we met. The moment she told me she is from bay and bakool area, I knew this was a chance for me to be true to my inner patriotic feelings, to make my Somalinimo full and to honour my commitment to be a nationalist in love matters. Perhaps if the world and the whole of Somali elders could not bring Somalia together, I can. For Khayrto would be my fifth wife, of which she will be the only one at the same time. After four failed marriages, I never saw the silver linings in all those failures. Ten months from that encounter, and with a house that is now irreversibly 4.5 compatible with the coming to life of Uburo –my sixth child, I feel Somalia is me, I am Somalia. I can now do rehearsals of national reconciliation in my own house, and will share lessons with Somali politicians. Wedlock or no wedlock, it is my child. A painful product of my pleasures.

 

That is all a digression. For the real purpose of this letter was to talk about Khayrto. Never mind she is half my age, we seem to get along very well. A minor problem is the language. For instance, I translated “intee roogtaa” to mean “why do you change what I say”, when in fact she was only affectionately asking me “where I was” over the phone. But we are working on it. The other problem is that she expresses her love for me in food terms, and that gives me the impression that in the absence of anything enchanting about me, she is trying her best to say good things about me. The food you gave me the other day was so delicious, I hear this too often; but not "o!, your balding head didnot damage your handsome face".

 

….Part 2 to continue.

[Valenteenah.]

*Splutters into her tea*

 

Ehem.....urm....I guess welcome back, Abtigiis.

[Jacaylbaro]

Welcome back waaryee ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Blessed]

... And mabrook.

[A_Khadar]

I am not ready to welcome you back yet.. Sheekada bal soo dhamee meel aan ku maqnaa baad ka sheekaynaysaye...

[nuune]

Waan ogaa inuu surprise come back sameenayo, ama biyaajadii lixaad uu ku rjuucayo

[Jacaylbaro]

Ilaahay amarkii waaban eegay oo bahalku waaba mucjiso show ,,,

[Nina Fox]

You lost me at erotic mullah, yaab badanaa.

[Jacaylbaro]

Ramadan iyo that Mullah hadaad isla hesho ,,,, Hmmmm ,, waaba isku dhuuq

[NGONGE]

Heh. The sheikh reminds me of the one in the only Somali book I read (Roge). He too would use erotic terms to describe the Islamic relationship between men and women. His though was pure khayaali ("dumarka dirixi ba ku jira oo waxa kaliya dirxiga dili kara waa biyaha ragga, etc"). The author was using this madness to mock the prevalance of ignorant mullahs who allow their flights of fancy to dictate their sermons.

 

Welcome back xaaji. Cagahaaga dhaadheer ma ilaaa Bay & Bakool ayaay ku gayeen? 4.5 indeed.

 

p.s.

This must clearly kill the rumour (started by Xiin) that you were away running the affairs of Azania State.

[Aaliyyah]

if this is a true story and u had four failed marriages I wouldn't advice you on a fifth..noloshada wax kale ku qabso..u wouldnt wanna bring more children into this world that wont get teh full attention of their dad...am serious!

 

anyways interesting story, enjoyed reading it.

 

salaam

[Jacaylbaro]

("dumarka dirixi ba ku jira oo waxa kaliya dirxiga dili kara waa biyaha ragga,

..... Miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw

[Oz]

This is the highest level of noc (sp) minal buuufis Disgrace and wrong timings from the old man.

[Jacaylbaro]

I thought we have no problem in terms of the timing sxb ,,, Look at the Sheikh, the Masjid, the Muxaadarah, the Allah's Magical powers ...... All and it is Ramadan

[Oz]

Jb for you everything is caadios I know.

 

1 hr to afur..