Gold Digger or Street Smart?

[Jacaylbaro]

Being a man of modest means is not the easiest station one can find himself in, especially if he is keen on attracting female attention.

 

Many men complain that women only have eyes for men with visible trappings of financial well-being.

 

But the tide turns dramatically when the fortunes of a hitherto struggling man change positively. Suddenly, the women who previously ignored his existence develop new eyes and he suddenly becomes attractive.

 

George, 29, started out penniless as he went through school and found it hard to find a woman he could date comfortably in his state. It was only when he was in college that he realised that money and status could open doors to women’s hearts.

 

Then, he did not feature in the list of the most desired men on campus. Instead, campus girls preferred men of means and often opted to go out with those who were working.

 

“The best a penniless man on campus surviving on a student loan can get from most women is a contemptuous stare or derisive laughter should he dare to approach a fellow student for a date. The girls make you feel like you are beneath them yet they are students like you getting the same loan,” George says.

 

Back then, George could not compete with the employed men who stole the thunder from the college boys, because they had the money and status that the girls craved. George and his ilk would watch enviously as the working men rolled into the halls of residence in fancy cars and drove off with their female classmates.

 

Life after campus was no different. George moved into a one-roomed house at Ngara with his brother.

 

He was out of work for two years but eventually got a job as a shop assistant in the Ngara area earning a paltry Sh7000 a month despite the fact that he was a university graduate. His Bachelor of Commerce degree did little to endear him to women, who preferred to see visible signs of success before they could give him a chance.

 

“I used to walk to work and the women I approached would tell me that I had no chance with them because I had nothing to offer. Now they look for me,” he says.

 

It was when he got a better job in marketing earning 10 times his previous salary that he realised how money can suddenly transform a formerly penniless, struggling man into the most eligible bachelor in town.

 

With his new job, he upgraded his life as soon as he could. He bought a car, moved to a better neighbourhood – Nairobi West and could now indulge in the fine things that money can buy.

 

That is when he noticed that the number of women who would give him a hearing suddenly increased. Not to be left behind, were some of his former college mates who would have nothing to do with him earlier. He could not believe that they were now jostling for his attention.

 

“When I met some of my former college mates in the course of my work and they learnt that I was now working for one of those blue chip companies in town, they would suddenly become very friendly and even make sure they asked for my number with the promise of us meeting up for coffee or lunch.

 

I couldn’t believe the women who had shunned me throughout my four years in college were now literally hounding me with phone calls and offer for dates. Even when in a club enjoying myself they hang around me, even when I have company.

 

“There is a woman who is unrelenting, and shows up wherever I am. She is one of the girls who would never have talked to me in college, but now that my status has changed she is trying her best to get me, knowing very well that I highly doubt her sincerity,” says George.

 

Many men who are written off as being below the dating league on campus surprise the same women when they emerge successful after university. But now that the man has the attention he used to crave what does he do with it?

 

Some are disgusted that women have a change of heart now that the man’s bank balance has risen from zero to six or more figures.

However, there are those who use this newfound attention to pay back the women for ignoring them when they had nothing.

 

They accept such a woman’s advances, date her for a while, even go ahead and have a baby with her only to dump her for the next woman in the line-up.

 

Onyango, an Information Technology specialist in Nairobi, experienced the feeling of not being given a chance because he was not considered to be of high status on campus.

[Jacaylbaro]

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