genius pauper. Posted May 17, 2011 ^^ is it a theory, or by far a fact, i dont know. this may be the scenario of a schooling man who thinks of marrying. nearly most parents will render such thoughts wrong and brand it un-ethical,,,, i mean, is there anything wrong with that? can schooling ''boys'' and ''girls'' get married? p.s. many were loaded with the feeling of parting their loved one's since the idea didnt click. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted May 17, 2011 When parents think it is unethical they have a reason. I mean if you are still in school and yu dnt have any source of income how are you for instance going to support the girl??JUST SAYING....However, if you are still in school bt do have some sort of income and she is willing to pitch in and has some money. And, your parents are willing to help (inkasto it is hard for somali parents when they have enough on their plate!)..then by all means go for it.. laakin besides teh financial reasons, marriage is a responsibility. And, if you are still for example in school I don't think it is a responsibility qofku ka bixi karo....but then again I know few who got married and it worked for them!..so like some of the ppl im talking abt got married and still lived with their parents and didnt live together even so like they just made their relationship xalaal....while others got married moved in together and they both work while they are still in school. Definitely from my perspective that is just putting a lot responsibility on yourself but alhamdulilah people are not the same so it worked ffor them... It is all relative walaal. Whatever works for you!.. And, at the end of the day waalid kasoo hor jeedaya gabadhaooda ama wilkooda in uu guursado ma jiro haday arkaan labo qof o dadaalaya oo danahooda yaqaana oo shaqaysanaya oo yacni u halgamaya noloshooda laakin..labo dibjir haday arkaan ama wiil dibjir ah oo leh waan gursanana laakin aduun war iyo wacaal kahaynin wa markaas uun marka walid dhahayo maya waxan ma soconaso..inta kale waalid kasta wanaag ilmihisa wa la raba.. salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
genius pauper. Posted May 17, 2011 ^^aaliyyah, well said. definitely, the issue of the money matters, but keeping that aside, imagine the boy is working, and the little peny he is getting is enough to drive them off safely, by then is it yet wrong for them to get married?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted May 17, 2011 If it is enough..yada iyo asaguba ku imaan qabaan. No it is nt wrong at all!.. Nabiga csw asxaabtisa qaar gabadhooda meherka quraan bay ka bixin jiren markay waxkale wayaan, yacni halkana anoo ku tusaya lacagta qima badan in ay laheen... laakin dabcan dunida hada la joga meherka kama hadlayo laakin qofku wa in uu bilashiisa bixin kara..noloshu free ma aha...somalia oo kale wa caadi my cousins maalinkasta mid yar ba gursata back home..yaa ka walwalaya guriga ya aa la siina ..kiro ya ka raba..cuntadana dadkooda bay la cunayaan lol..laakin qurbe baa la joga life is tough laakin dadaal baa lo bahanyahay inshallah qofku hadu dadaalayo dhib ma leh..walidka qaarna can be hard laakin if their kids insist and they see them as mature they will come around. salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted May 17, 2011 let me add that I am all for a rich man who can provide the it life..mid waxbaanaya oo labo shilin uruuinaya maxa ii ag dhigay but,all I am saying is that if a couple are happy with the little they have they should go for it...And, if someone ku imaan qabo wiil yar oo waxba haysan..it is not a crime and they are entitled for that laakin dhibtu waa when two young couple who are not financially there get married (and they be like inta yar ba ku imaan qabna) oo yacni later all the novelty and the happiness wears out o bilo tagto..oo yacni hadhow shekadii noqoto pay the bills and this and taht..oo hadhow noloshu adkaato o hadhow kala tagaan oo noloshi labadoodaba iska xumeeyaan uun ba la diidaya.. salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms MoOns Posted May 17, 2011 I think it is definitely possible. I agree with Aaliyyah! I am doing uni, and planning on to get married insha allah. Obviously it's not easy, but if you're determined and are aware of what you're getting into, then with Allah's sake it will insha allah work out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
genius pauper. Posted May 17, 2011 ````AALIYYAH, big said. i cant accept more. lakiin ufiirso, however the money issue matters, everything in maritall affairs melts down to one thing, and only one thing, and that is isfahan. tell me, can money buy that? you made me laugh when u said, "let me add that I am all for a rich man who can provide the it life..mid waxbaanaya oo labo shilin uruuinaya maxa ii ag dhigay"" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
genius pauper. Posted May 17, 2011 ~~~~`ms moons, allah hakuu sahlo. magaran kartaa xibinta raga laga eego markaad nolal dhab ah karabto? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted May 17, 2011 however the money issue matters, everything in maritall affairs melts down to one thing, and only one thing, and that is isfahan. tell me, can money buy that? isfahanku ma bilashu iga bixinaya mise dahab buu iso gadaya..joking!...laakin runtii walaalo aniga waxay ila tahay dadku in ay in ya sabraan waxbarrashadooda dhameestaan saving account furtaan..lacag save gareestaan..shaqa wacan isku hubsadaan. I see no reason to rush. Laakin saan horay u idhi qofkasta isku mid ma aha..it works for some ppl!.. Ms moon I would suggest that u wait till u finish uni, and even if u dnt want to wait I hope at least he is done uni and is working. Makes life a lot easier..howeve, even if both of u are studyin n know what u getting urself into..and are ready to tackle it..intaasna waa wax dhan!...inshallah khyr allena ha nila qabto..uve my duca! salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms MoOns Posted May 17, 2011 Mahadsanid abaayadiis for the duca and advice. Amiin. Insha allah kheyr, everything will work out. He is done with his education and working. At the moment we are not rushing into things at all. We've decided to wait a year. He is working hard masha allah to save some money for the wedding and near future. 2012 is gonna be my year Salaam. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bilan Posted May 17, 2011 I have seen a lot of people around me, mostly men, who got married to a girl that does not work, so at the end they were forced to drop out the school to provide for their family, I guess that’s what the parents are worried about. I would not advise my brothers to marry while they are in school, but it is doable, based on my experience I was not in school but my husband was and he was also working full time. so I can honestly say it was really hard trying to do all (kids+full time job+ taking care of the house), but as said it is doable. But you need to make sure you are both on the same page, finance is not the only thing you need to worry about. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted May 17, 2011 mashallah ms Moons caqli baad haysa wakaas ..nin shaqaynaya oo dadaalaya....maba fahmo dadka nolosha isku adkeya oo gursada mid waxba haynin inkasto waxba ka qaldaneen yaga iyo taladaas hadana waa nolol la isku adkeenayo.... inshallah ninka ku gursanaya alle haka dhigo mid qeyr qaba.....guurkinana mid waara oo ubad qeyr qaba kala heshaan.. salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
genius pauper. Posted May 17, 2011 ~~~~~~aaliyyah, greatjoy. maxaa tiri, ? ms moon , iskajoog aa? lol. i hope ms moons, goes on even at faster pace. anyway, when a man feels he should marry,( here i am making an assumption, that the man is sane and sober,.) irrespective of the amount, he should be counting on some sort of funds, else he shouldnt even think of it all. but i also think, in lagarab qabto lamana-yaasha donaayo ineey mustaqbal wadaagaan, mana ahan in lagu xiro shuruud ah xoolo badan iyo inuu qofka shaqa mustakafi ah haayo, kifaaf umbaa loo baahan yahay, oo ah, can they source their bread. one thing is very important to appreciate, the need for marriage is a naturall necessity, and not only the well-off people feel the need, even the poor too feel it. so, dont you think, if you condition the need to marriage of the poor, solely to financial capabilities, you are limiting the avenue to meet their need? (i mean the poor) generally, in my world, marriage is all i can hear, should they utter, my utmost support runs in. be it what. from the financial to the tala bixin. i can even go the extra mile, to find a means to a needing-marriage man who doesnt work. cheers anyway, and may the almighty help us all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted May 17, 2011 so I can honestly say it was really hard trying to do all (kids+full time job+ taking care of the house), but as said it is doable. Good to hear that it is doable bilan. laakin if someone can wait till they are done with their schooling. It is the better alternative.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted May 17, 2011 aaliyyah, greatjoy. maxaa tiri, ? ms moon , iskajoog aa? lol. i hope ms moons, goes on even at faster pace. Now that as her older sister she assured me that he works she has my du'a ..all i needed to hear was that he is working lol.. n she wont go in any fast pace..ninka bay ka shaqaysiinasa..he is saving somaad maqal..wakaas gabadh somaliyeed oo qiimo leh .. Somali waxay ku maahmaahda wixi bilaash lugu helo bilaash ba lagaga dhaqaajiya (ive an old soul! ) one thing is very important to appreciate, the need for marriage is a naturall necessity, and not only the well-off people feel the need, even the poor too feel it. so, dont you think, if you condition the need to marriage of the poor, solely to financial capabilities, you are limiting the avenue to meet their need? (i mean the poor) I was talking abt students..ppl who are hoping to have some kind of job lined up in few year's time..and just saying that they should be patient!..laakin if the person is poor and that wont change anytime soon..by all means they have my duca..pennyada ha iska uruuursadaan allena ha u barakeeyo! salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
