Polygamy: why the abuse of a highly restricted practice in Islam?

[Khadir]

Asalamu Alaykum,

 

Allah says in Surah alnisa [4.3] And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.]

 

now, I have a question concerning islamic polygamy, and the context in which it is permitted in the Quran. From my understanding of the Arabic language, the polygamy discussed in the quran is in context with the treatment of orphans and widows. Furthermore, From the Prophet we learn that Other than marrying Aisha, and HafsaH, the Prophet married widowed mothers of orphans. So my question is, if the Quran places such strict limitations on the practice of polygamy, then why do we find it so widely abused in our societies where it is highly unnecessary?

[Biixi]

This should be a good read regarding the subject http://www.bilalphilips.com/abouthim/artic04a.htm

[Castro]

^ Here's the document in that link and it is a good read:

 

Islam's Position on Polygamy

 

 

Muslims are often accused of being promiscuous because polygamy is legal in Islam.

 

1. Islam did not introduce polygamy. Unrestricted polygamy was practiced in most human societies throughout the world in every age. Islam regulated polygamy by limiting the number of wives and establishing responsibility in its practice.

 

2.Monogamy of the West inherited from Greece and Rome where men were restricted by law to one wife but were free to have as many mistresses among the majority slave population as they wished. In the West today, most married men have extramarital relations with mistresses, girlfriends and prostitutes. Consequently the Western claim to monogamy is false.

 

3. Monogamy illogical. If a man wishes to have a second wife whom he takes care of and whose children carry his name and he provides for he is considered a criminal, bigamist, who may be sentenced to years in jail. However, if he has numerous mistresses and illegitimate children his relation is considered legal.

 

4. Men created polygamous because of a need in human society. There is normally a surplus of women in most human societies.1 The surplus is a result of men dying in wars, violent crimes and women outliving men.2 The upsurge in homosexuality further increases the problem. If systems do not cater to the need of surplus women it will result in corruption in society. Example, Germany after World War II, when suggestions to legalize polygamy were rejected by the Church. Resulting in the legalization of prostitution. German prostitutes are considered as workers like any other profession. They receive health benefits and pay taxes like any other citizen. Furthermore, the rate of marriage has been steadily declining as each succeeding generation finds the institution of marriage more and more irrelevant.

 

5. Western anthropologists argue that polygamy is a genetic trait by which the strongest genes of the generation are passed on. Example, the lion king, the strongest of the pack, monopolizes the females thereby insuring that the next generation of lion cubs will be his offspring.

 

6. Institutional polygamy prevents the spread of diseases like Herpes and AIDS. Such venereal diseases spread in promiscuous societies where extra-marital affairs abound.

 

7. Polygamy protects the interests of women and children in society. Men, in Western society make the laws. They prefer to keep polygamy illegal because it absolves them of responsibility. Legalized polygamy would require them to spend on their additional wives and their offspring. Monogamy allows them to enjoy extra-marital affairs without economic consequence.

 

8. Only a minority will practice polygamy in Muslim society. In spite of polygamy being legal in Muslim countries, only 10-15% of Muslims in these countries practice polygamy. Although the majority of men would like to have more than one wife, they cannot afford the expense of maintaining more than one family. Even those who are financially capable of looking after additional families are often reluctant due to the psychological burdens of handling more than one wife. The family problems and marital disputes are multiplied in plural marriages.

 

9. Conditions have been added for polygamy in many Muslim countries. For example, in Egypt, the permission of the first wife must first be obtained. This and similar conditions are a result of colonial domination. No woman in her right mind will give her husband permission to take a second wife. Such a condition, in fact, negates the permission given by God in the Qur'an.

 

10. Others have accepted polygamy on condition that it not be for “lustâ€. That is, if the wife is ill, or unable to bear children, or unable to fulfill the husband's sexual needs, etc., taking a second wife is acceptable. Otherwise it becomes “lust†on the husband's part and is consequently not acceptable. The reality is that “lust†was involved in the marriage of the first wife. Why is it acceptable in the case of the first and not the second? As has already been pointed out, men are polygamous by nature. To try to curb it by such conditions will only lead to corruption in society.

 

11. Feminists may object to this male right by insisting that women should also be able to practice polygamy. However, a woman marrying four husbands would only increase the problem of surplus women. Furthermore, no child would accept his or her mother identifying the father by the “eeny meeny miney mo†method. The question which remains is, “If God is good and wishes good for His creatures, why did he legislate something which would be harmful to most women?†Divine legislation looks at the society as a whole seeking to maximize benefit. If a certain legislation benefits the majority of the society and causes some emotional harm to a minority, the general welfare of society is given precedence.

 

written by

Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips

[Khadir]

Thank you Castro for the above link. This article is indeed interesting;But a weak defensive article on the position of polygamy in the Islamic faith. Surely, the need for polygamy was never in question, both western societies and Islamic societies know that polygamy in history was necessary and surely it will be useful when drastic changes in the future influence the balance in the numbers of the genders.

 

My question above was addressing why the loose interpretations of the polygamy verses in the Quran? …Allah Almighty is never lost for words, Allah only mentions polygamy when he is referring to doing justice and managing the affairs orphans and widows. But Even then, Allah discourages the practice, saying that "then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper".

 

Allah is always clear, when he refers to normal marriage; Allah Almighty is clear of monogamy as the norm, “more proper†system of marriage. In Verse (4:20), allah says: “you wish to marry another wife, in place of your present wife, and you had given any of them a great deal, you shall not take back anything you had given her. Would you take it fraudulently, maliciously, and sinfully?â€

 

Here, Allah is clear, when discussing divorce, and the replacement of wife. Monogamy is the norm, and those who choose to practice polygamy are unjustified except where Allah has allowed it with strict conditions. Emotional and psychological distress of polygamy are caused where the laws of Allah are abused. And those who practice injustice will not find peace in their actions, and thus even What Allah has ordain for them lawful becomes a burden when they have abused it for their own means of fullfillment and dominance over weaker individuals.

 

Feminists may object to this male right by insisting that women should also be able to practice polygamy. However, a woman marrying four husbands would only increase the problem of surplus women. Furthermore, no child would accept his or her mother identifying the father by the “eeny meeny miney mo†method. The question which remains is, “If God is good and wishes good for His creatures, why did he legislate something which would be harmful to most women?†Divine legislation looks at the society as a whole seeking to maximize benefit. If a certain legislation benefits the majority of the society and causes some emotional harm to a minority, the general welfare of society is given precedence

I find this piece of the article rather pathetic, the divine legislation especially polygamy only causes emotional harm where it abused in societies as we have today, where Muslim women are subjected to polygamous marriages without their consent and where population numbers of women and men are near equal and thus polygamy is socially and economically unjustified. Allah does not place a burden on anyone for the gain of others. There is point in time where women may feel the emotional and societal need to form polygamous marriages. In this case, abolishing polygamy would be a form of injustice to those women who cannot find a male and wish to marry and reproduce. Thus, Allah is kind, and so he has allowed polygamy to curb such distress to women in times like these.

 

Furthermore, the author's above defense that polygamy is justified in modern Muslim societies because it serves as positive alternative for adulterous marriages and high divorce rates in Western societies is unsound and islamically a weak grasp of the Islamic way of life. We as Muslims should not use the ugly societal norms of western societies to justify our weak deviance from the laws and instructions of Allah. Allah has allowed polygamy only where it necessary, and when that time comes none shall question the purpose of this divine law, it is only when we subject polygamy on societies that cannot support such ideologies that we see it as primitive, cruel and outdated.

 

 

May Allah guide us ALL.

[Castro]

Originally posted by Khadir:

The question which remains is, “If God is good and wishes good for His creatures, why did he legislate something which would be harmful to most women?†Divine legislation looks at the society as a whole seeking to maximize benefit. If a certain legislation benefits the majority of the society and causes some emotional harm to a minority, the general welfare of society is given precedence.

So it's really a matter of take it or leave it? I agree.

[-Serenity-]

Khadir,

 

Those were excellent points. I've been toying with the idea of posting a topic on polygamy and its abuse and as the eureka effect goes, you took it right out of my mind.

 

You might be interested to read this post on the same topic.

[Johnny B]

Originally posted by Khadir:

Asalamu Alaykum,

 

Allah says in Surah alnisa [4.3] And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one

or what your right hands possess;

this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.]

 

What does the "or what your right hands possess" mean in this context? a female Slave?

[Khadir]

4.3] And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess"

 

Johnny, "what your right hands possess" has been through serious scholarly debate in Islamic schools. "what your right hands possess" has been intreperated as those under your care, who are permitted to you in marriage. Now, this has meaning under the context of the war prisoners, and female widows being taken care of by the Prophet and his companions. When many of the Prophet's soldiers went to war, they lost their lives and the Prophet took it upon himself and those surviving companions to take care of widows and orphans. Now, many questionable hadiths make it seem like female prisoners and their slaves were like booty to be shared around and enjoyed by those who captured them, But I will never believe that to be true. Allah does not forget the vulnerable, and especialy not while his message is still being recieved by the Prophet.

 

any hadiths especially such as those discussing slave woman... Bukhari: Vol. 5-#459 (This Hadith is similar to the above. However, additional details are added). Narrated Ibn Muhairiz: "I entered the mosque and saw Abu Khudri and sat beside him and asked him about coitus interruptus. Abu said, "We went out with Allah's messenger for the Ghazwa (attack upon) Banu Mustaliq and we received captives from among the Arab captives and we desired women and celibacy became hard on us and we loved to do coitus interruptus. So when we intended to do coitus interruptus we said "How can we do coitus interruptus without asking Allah's messenger while he is present among us?" We asked (him) about it and he said "It is better for you not to do so, for if any soul (till the Day of Resurrection) is predestined to exist, it will exist.""

 

are obviously fabricated...it is an insult for muslims to associate such inhumane discussions and behaviour with the Prophet of Allah. First, sex outside of marriage be it slave girl or free woman is prohibited in islam. Second, the prophet is known for compassion for slaves for he had deep relationship with the slave woman who raised him. Also, Allah does not contradict himself, He says [24.33] And let those who do not find the means to marry keep chaste until Allah makes them free from want out of His grace. And (as for) those who ask for a writing from among those whom your right hands possess, give them the writing if you know any good in them, and give them of the wealth of Allah which He has given you; and do not compel your slave girls to prostitution, when they desire to keep chaste, in order to seek the frail good of this world's life; and whoever compels them, then surely after their compulsion Allah is Forgiving, Merciful"

 

Bukhari's hadiths seem to be chronicling unIslamic behaviour and many islamphoebes are always quick to discredit the Prophets humanist characteristics thanks to some of these widely accepted hadiths.

[Haseena]

Bismillah

 

Salamu Calaykum Wa Raxmatullah

 

"any hadiths especially such as those discussing slave women... "Are obviously fabricated..."..."Bukhari's hadiths seem to be chronicling unIslamic behaviour"

Walaal Khadir with all due respect, it is necessary before we say something concerning Islam and Islamic "law" and in this context ahadith, always seek to refer it back to the ways of the sahabah, tabieen, tabi tabieen and our scholars..

 

By just not "agreeing" with an ahadith, seeing some ahadiths as ridiculing the “faith†or Islamic behaviour or whatever the reasons maybe, does not really cut it.

 

Especially to say an ahadith is fabricated we surely must look at the science of hadith collecting and the different stages within the clarifications of ahadiths, to determine whether an ahadith is fabricated or not.

 

There are to my knowledge some ahadiths in the sunnan Bukhari (anyone do correct me if I am wrong here) that may be weak or fabricated but they are very limited, and to claim that which you just did above, you need to bring your proof, look at the chain, the narrators etc. and nothing else.

 

Baraka Allah fik

 

wa Calaykum salam wa raxmatullah

[Khadir]

By just not "agreeing" with an ahadith, seeing some ahadiths as ridiculing the “faith†or Islamic behaviour or whatever the reasons maybe, does not really cut it.

 

Especially to say an a hadith is fabricated we surely must look at the science of hadith collecting and the different stages within the clarifications of ahadiths, to determine whether an ahadith is fabricated or not.

 

There are to my knowledge some ahadiths in the sunnan Bukhari (anyone do correct me if I am wrong here) that may be weak or fabricated but they are very limited, and to claim that which you just did above, you need to bring your proof, look at the chain, the narrators etc. and nothing else.

Why doesn't it "cut it" to disagree and dismiss any hadith that are contradicting the Word of Allah? why shouldn't I question sources of faith that riddicule the personality and integrity of the holy Prophet? as muslims it is our outmost duty to guard the integrity of our faith, why should we be burdened with hadiths that seriously damage the principles being taught in Allah's holy book. It is absurd that we should treat works collected by men as divine law.

 

the reality is, there are all sorts hadiths and imam said so and so which is taken like it is Allah's word by some people.

 

"We went out with Allah's messenger for the Ghazwa (attack upon) Banu Mustaliq and we received captives from among the Arab captives and we desired women and celibacy became hard on us and we loved to do coitus interruptus. So when we intended to do coitus interruptus we said "How can we do coitus interruptus without asking Allah's messenger while he is present among us?"

 

Now looking at this hadith, i wonder why would a married muslim person would find it hard to practice celibacy?..i mean where is the modesty the prophet was teaching?

 

bottomline is, I will not accept anything blatantly riddiculing my faith.

 

NO one ever said that Bukhari or muslim or Imam this or that were exempt from critcism, they were men and what they wrote is subject to reason, scrutiny and the principles of the islamic faith.

[Katrina]

Well said Khadir, I couldn't agree more. Men are infalliable. The Quran is our ultimate source of knowledge and the hadiths are a supplement that can be erroneous a times due to the attitudes, mentality and personal views of the men who wrote them & the community values in which they lived.

[Socod_badne]

Originally posted by Katrina:

Men are infalliable.

You prolly meant to say fallible (right?) but some people on these boards wouldn't disagree with that; ie being reproach like Islamic prelates.

[Katrina]

Loool, SB right Katrina wrong. What was I smoking...men are infalliable my @ss?!

[Haseena]

Bismillah

 

Salamu Calaykum Wa Raxmatullah

 

You have walaal misunderstood me, I am not questioning your right to question, rather I am questioning or I am you could say asking you to present the criteria you are using to arrive at your "judgement".

 

Surely it is not a matter of infallibility; it is a matter of presenting with your statements evidence that goes along with it, and it cannot be proof enough what you just stated concerning the above quoted hadith.

 

Whether this hadith is appalling to or belittling the code of conduct and mannerism the prophet (sallahu alehi wa salam) taught us according to you, is not the issue I have raised walaal and it is for this reason I am saying that you may have misunderstood me.

 

The only thing I was talking about and is still talking about is in order to refute a hadith whether it is strong, sound, weak or fabricated, etc. We need to do it the way our predecessors did it this is closer to the sunnah and verily it is closer to righteousness.

 

I suggest we should read the science of hadiths and benefit from this field a bit more.

 

Men are infalliable. The Quran is our ultimate source of knowledge and the hadiths are a supplement that can be erroneous a times due to the attitudes, mentality and personal views of the men who wrote them & the community values in which they lived.

Katrina with all due respect, you seem to know very little about the importance of ahadtihs in islam. Many people are very hasty in their judgements concerning ahadiths forgetting that even ahadiths are sources of divine inspiration such as the 40 hadith quds, yet most of them tend to forget that had it not been for ahadith many would for example not know how to make wudu, how to pray, how to carry out the penalties, how to purify one self, understandings of the verses of the quran the list can be made very long.

 

Certainly the hadiths go hand in hand with the quran. The men who wrote them? How much do we actually know about them, and the different methods they used when collecting these ahadiths? If we just look at bukhari, he used to perform so many suppligatory prayers, or prayers of guidance (istikhara) when submitting just an ahadith, and he if I remember correctly travelled for a day or so, and when he reached the destination where the man he was supposed to ask for a certain hadith was, he saw that man double-dealing with his animal (I think the animal was a donkey), bukhari turned did not even stay, same thing with another man he was supposed to take an ahadith from he saw him eating outside and bukhari dismissed him.

 

I am not saying this to claim infallibility for Bukhari or any ahadith collector, they are men and men commit mistakes, yet the only purpose here was to show that these men (rahimuhullah) really struggled in collecting authentic ahadiths and in their approaches to ahadith lies very important lessons for all of us.

 

Anything that I may have said that was wrong, insha Allah correct me. Below is a link to an abbreviated version of the book science of hadith, for those interested in reading.

 

http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/fundamentals/hadithsunnah/scienceofhadith/atit.html

 

 

wa calaykum salam wa raxmatullah

[Khadir]

=haseena=Certainly the hadiths go hand in hand with the quran. The men who wrote them? How much do we actually know about them, and the different methods they used when collecting these ahadiths? If we just look at bukhari, he used to perform so many suppligatory prayers, or prayers of guidance (istikhara) when submitting just an ahadith, and he if I remember correctly travelled for a day or so, and when he reached the destination where the man he was supposed to ask for a certain hadith was, he saw that man double-dealing with his animal (I think the animal was a donkey), bukhari turned did not even stay, same thing with another man he was supposed to take an ahadith from he saw him eating outside and bukhari dismissed him.

Are you saying because Bukhari practiceed bizaare rituals before collection we should consider him holy good, and show our appreciation for his tedious work by proclaiming our unfettered obedience to his work?...I disgree with you my good sister. This "science of hadith collecting" you refer to means that if a hadith is contrary to islamic principles we lose it or upon consenus from majority we keep it...It seems very faulty to me that when a collectors of hadith have been removed several times because of inconsistency, that we still keep other weak hadith from these very collectors.But I see your point in the historical value of arab custom which is very well detailed in hadith, but other than that the hadith have little if any faith related purposes...that is my opinion, i mean i don't know what the prophet did, if Allah wanted us to know those meticulus detail of the sunnah, it would have been perserved in more valuable form than hearsay collections by men.

 

Remember Allah is never lost for words,This faith was complete before the Prophet died and before Bukhari was ever concieved by his mother.