bilan Posted March 25, 2011 easy go and talk to your grandfather, uncles & aunts if you want to know what kind of a person he is/was. your reer abti should not poison you against your family. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Somalina Posted March 25, 2011 I suggest that you ask your grandfather about your dad's contact info. Haddii kale jaaliyada beesha ka soo jeedo aabahaa la xiriir by phone, they should be able to help you out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted March 25, 2011 bilan;705388 wrote: Elegantly I do not want this to be off the topic, but your mother can hate all she wants, but he is your grandfather and he has rights over you, it is your father who left you, so why blame your father’s entire family. Even if your mother does not want you to find him, I would say search for him, you need to know your father and what happened to him. Her mother has every right to hate him and his family...I know they have no control over their son's actions, in this case abandoning someone who's carrying his child, but they could've kept in touch with her and helped her raise their son's child...If they had nothing to do with her for the twenty years he's been missing, I don't see any reason to accept their apology now...War twenty years too late dheh ee wajiga uga dhufo irida!!! As for trying to locate a man who left your mom when she was pregnant with you and made no efforts to reach out to you after you were born, war waxaas aabo ma'aha ee noloshaada hasoo galin! You're better off without him in your life... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted March 25, 2011 ^^ Hada waxaa i dhihi rabtaa sheekadaan aa kugu socoto miyaa Koolo, naga daa hee yaakhayoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bilan Posted March 25, 2011 KK it is not always black and white like that, it could be her mother decided to take her anger on his family, it could be the family tried to contact the kids and the mother just refused to allow this to take place. I know countless cases where kids are poisoned against their paternal relatives for things they had no control over. there are a lot of women who cannot differentiate between their husband and his family. honestly speaking if my husband leaves me today I have no expectation from his family to help me raise my kids, if they do, it is because they are doing me a favor and I’ll be grateful for their support, but I have no right over them, they did not ask me to marry their son, I chose him and if I made a mistake on my choice I’ll have no one to blame but me. Plus it is the best interest of the kids to have relations with both sides of their family, otherwise cuqdad bay la korayaan. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted March 25, 2011 Nuune, idhaaf yaah! Bilan aa biloowday sheekadaan, anoo il gur ku fiirinaayo... Bilan, I've seen mothers poison their children against their father's family, most of the time, although not right, those mothers have their reasons for doing so...If my husband left me today, and niether him nor his family contacts me for twenty years, irida inaan wajiga uga dhufto will be the nicest thing I would do for them...I mean, I understand there could be extreme cases where making contact could not happen, unless it is one of those very extreme cases, they can kiss my foot before it kicks them in the behind on their way out the door... Okey, okey, a little harsh, but who cares it is FRIDAY AND I AM DONE FOR THE DAY! loooool Inaan kufo aanba kabaqaa saan uga bixidoono office ka maanta... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gheelle.T Posted March 25, 2011 Sheekadaan xabbo kama jurto! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elegantly Posted March 25, 2011 bilan;705412 wrote: KK it is not always black and white like that, it could be her mother decided to take her anger on his family, it could be the family tried to contact the kids and the mother just refused to allow this to take place. I know countless cases where kids are poisoned against their paternal relatives for things they had no control over. there are a lot of women who cannot differentiate between their husband and his family. honestly speaking if my husband leaves me today I have no expectation from his family to help me raise my kids, if they do, it is because they are doing me a favor and I’ll be grateful for their support, but I have no right over them, they did not ask me to marry their son, I chose him and if I made a mistake on my choice I’ll have no one to blame but me. Plus it is the best interest of the kids to have relations with both sides of their family, otherwise cuqdad bay la korayaan. No, my family tried to contact him couple years ago. they found his phonenumber and he said oke come to london but he never showed up. I'll never put a blame on my mom now, now she is saying he isnt worth to find him cus she never set me against my dad. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elegantly Posted March 25, 2011 U are right. Its just that he is my dad and i want to behave as a mature person and just talk with him. Cus i cant say anything because i dontknow what happens to him. I will decides if i will go along (as always), i dont like to hear from 1 side of my family cus u'll never know who speaks the true. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted March 26, 2011 ^Goodluck with your search, I hope you find the closure your seeking. KK, no matter what the circumstances, I think children should be protected from any form of vengence with an ex. Bad mouthing the ex or his family isnt really going to make the bad experience you shared with them go away - why waste time or energy poisoning your childs heart? I dont see the point of it - shiid happens as they say, why not move on...and allow the children to just be. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted March 26, 2011 obviously your mom has done great job raising you alone, but you do have a right to know your father if you so wish! not everyone has been blessed with responsible dad and you are not alone, a whole generation is growing up as we speak without a father. Ngonge would call me bleeding heart but do you have basic information, if the TOL-route does not work, i may be able to help you trace him, although the official route could be complicated specially if he assumed another name etc Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted March 26, 2011 Never look back, but I guess you have tosince you're a young lady. Aduunyadu looma jixinjixo. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted March 26, 2011 Paragon ahaaa? bal waran? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted March 26, 2011 Laftiisii. bashbash iyo baraara ee, ma juxa ma layga hubaa? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
