NGONGE Posted March 9, 2011 In his office in Villa Somalia, Sheikh Sharif is pacing the floor nervously and shouting “No, no, NO! This will not do”. Meanwhile, Farmajo is calmly sat in a chair and scratching his chin whilst mumbling “Yes, yes, YES”. Sharif: What do you mean by Yes, I said NO! Farmajo: Hmm? Oh! No, no. I was just thinking aloud. Sharif: This is not the time for daydreaming, Farmaajo! We need to defeat these Jihadi madmen and we have to formulate a plan for our victory. Farmajo: I know. I know. That’s what I was thinking about too. Sharif: Do you have a plan then? Farmajo: Yes. I think we should invite the Ethiopians back in again. Sharif: Is that the plan you were getting all excited about? You already know we tried this in the past and it failed. What makes you think it will work now? Farmajo: True. But do you remember what happened last time? Sharif: Remember? I was part of it, adeer. Farmajo: Actually, you were against it. Sharif: Yes. Yes. I meant I was a first hand witness. Farmajo: Forgive me for saying this but you really were not. You were in Asmara. Sharif: That was AFTER. Farmajo: It is the AFTER that we are talking about. Sharif: How so? Farmajo: First, tell me what happened after. Sharif: What else, the wretched Shabab were born. Farmajo: But did they defeat the Ethiopians? Sharif: That’s what they try to tell everyone when in fact it was I who defeated the Ethiopians. Farmajo: Politically speaking? Sharif: Yes, yes, politically speaking. Farmajo: But what did Al Shabab do? Sharif: They became insurgents of course and conducted hit and run attacks. Farmajo: Do you know exactly what their tactics were at the time? Sharif: I don’t but Indhacade does. Farmajo: Thank god Indhacade is on our side. Sharif: I don’t know about that but thank god anyway. Farmajo: Are hit & run attacks the only way Al Shabab can fight the Ethiopians? Sharif: Of course. They don’t have the material nor the man power to defeat them any other way. Farmajo: And we can’t stop these attacks? Sharif: How could we? They keep melting back into the background and losing themselves amongst the ordinary population. Farmajo: Hmmm! Sharif: You are worse than your predecessor, Farmajo. At least when he said “hmm” it was only because of his weight problems and breathing difficulties. I don’t like your “hmms”. Farmajo: I have an idea that might help us defeat Al Shabab. Sharif: What is it? Farmajo: We invite the Ethiopians back… Sharif: Didn’t we just have this conversation? Farmajo: bear with me, Mr President. My plan takes place AFTER the Ethiopians defeat Al Shabab. Sharif: But they cannot defeat them. Didn’t I tell you that they’ll just melt back into the crowd and pretend to be normal citizens? Farmajo: Yes. But what if we can flush them out? Sharif: How? Farmajo: We will ask every patriotic Somali woman to show her support for us by taking off her jilbab. Like the Egyptian “Day Of Rage”, we shall have our own “Day Of Hair”. Sharif: We can’t do that. The people will never accept it. Farmajo: Those who are against Al Shabab will. Sharif: You’re asking for too much, Farmajo! This will not work. Farmajo: Too much? Was it too much for you to change sides and work with AMISOM? Did the character assassinations stop you from following your conscious and doing what is right for Somalia? Sharif: No. But I am different. You are asking an entire nation to ditch their tradition and faith. Farmajo: I am not asking anyone to ditch anything, only the jilbab. Sharif: The Jilbab is part of the faith, and tradition. Farmajo: In the days of the Kacaan, Somali women went about with their hair out for all to see. In the days of the Kacaan, Somalia was a safe country. Sharif: That is history. Farmajo: And history is what we’re going to sell to the people. Our target after all is to defeat Al Shabab. Sharif: Do you really think they’ll buy it? Farmajo: You did when you ditched your khamees for the Armani suits. Sharif: I keep telling you that I am different. Farmajo: Fine. We will ask the people to do it and we shall explain to them why we are asking. Sharif: But that will give the game away and Al Shabab might also instruct their women to ditch their Jilbab. Farmajo: No they will not. Sharif: They might. Farmajo: If they did, they will lose credibility and we shall win the war. Sharif: Do you really think it will work? Farmajo: Yes. But you will have to help me start it all. Sharif: How? Farmajo: Shave your beard and trim your moustache until it’s nothing but a tiny dot on your upper lip. Sharif: Like Siyaad you mean? Farmajo: Like Siyaad, like Qaddafi, who cares as long as it’s not like Al Shabab. Sharif: True! Farmajo: So, shall I call the Ethiopians and tell them about our plan? Sharif: Yes. But first, you have to instruct all members of your cabinet and the armed forces to shave their beards and moustaches. Anyone that refuses shall be sacked. Farmajo: Some of the generals had beards for most of their lives; we can’t expect them to shave now. Sharif: If they don’t our plan will fail. Farmajo: Our plan is only about you and the wider population. Sharif: If my government refuses to shave, I too refuse to shave. Farmajo: Fine. Fine. I’ll see what I can do. Breaking News: Four bearded Somali army generals have been sacked. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted March 9, 2011 Take it away Shirly...... The word is about, there's something evolving Whatever may come, the world keeps revolving They say the next big thing is here That the revolution's near But to me it seems quite clear That it's all just a little bit of history repeating The newspapers shout a new style is growing But it don't know if it's coming or going There is fashion, there is fad Some is good, some is bad And the joke is rather sad That it’s all just a little bit of history repeating And I've seen it before And I'll see it again Yes I've seen it before Just little bits of history repeating Some people don't dance if they don't know who's singing Why ask your head, it's your hips that are swinging Life's for us to enjoy Woman, man, girl and boy Feel the pain, feel the joy And side step the little bits of history repeating Just little bits of history repeating And I've seen it before And I'll see it again Yes I've seen it before Just little bits of history repeating Shirly Bassey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted March 9, 2011 Ideas. Policies. know-how. Ingenuity. Integrity. Dignity. Honesty. Charisma. Some of the things lacking in Somali politicians. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted March 9, 2011 N.O.R.F;700616 wrote: Shirley Bassey? Eeedo Shirley is great. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cawaale Posted March 9, 2011 Something tells me Waagacusub and dayniile would be having a copyright battle because of the actual leaked conversation from Vila Somalia. My friend i am afraid you will get a response from VS office, and our very friend Juje will be the person who will be contacting you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted March 9, 2011 Cawaale, I'm afraid Juje might suggest my above "solution" to Sheikh Sharif. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted March 9, 2011 maad sheekha iska dhaaftaan, why aad lakkad ama laf dhuunta gashay ugu tihiin! when he donned the armani suits (not sure if they actually are) for me he lost credibility, now he wont hesitate to chop the odd gar iyo shaarbo me thinks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gheelle.T Posted March 9, 2011 lol@day of hair. It's a good plan indeed. They may even catch Godane while enforcing this law Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Libaax-Sankataabte Posted March 9, 2011 lool@NGONGE. Tell saxiibkaa Juje to cut his beard. I heard he grew beard recently. On a side note, Shariif and Farmaajo are betting on the latest offensive against Al-shabaab will deliver them victory at the ballot box in August, 2011 against Mr. Sakiin who is waiting to replace them. Theirs seems to be a "plan" to persuade the international community that the current TFG is ready for the Al-shabaab challenge, but I am not sure it is a plan that inspires much confidence in the electoral merit of the current TFG. The alleged "plan" has little prospect of succeeding against the backdrop of this TFG’s dismal record and AMISOM’s major body losses thus far. Even if there were tangible gains against Al-shabaab (as there is), another impediment in Sakiin's favor would be quantifying TFG gains on a long term basis. In other words, Al-shabaab is known to dance these familiar tunes of "now-you-see-me-now-you-don't" nature again and again. There is a discrete political battle between two camps (Shariif vs. Sakiin). Let us see who comes on top. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
