Exit Strategy, Do You Have One?

[Nur]

So you are just running around finishing up things here and there? Do you realize that you need plan B? I mean just in case you are caught of guard, by a guardian of a different kind?

 

 

e-Nuri Softwaano 2006 Productions Previews

 

Presents:

 

 

The Exit Strategy:

 

A trip that will take you behind the scenes, to show you the real thing without the real pain, then brings you back to(T-Zero ) seconds. e-Nuri Staff will assist you in drafting your own personal business Plan, complete with SWOT analysis of your life(and death), identifying competition and setting practical strategies to stay focused on SM path.

 

 

Going Up, by Going Down, The Sequel.

 

ileyhi yascadul kalimul tayyibu, wal camalul saalixu yarfacuh.

To Him Rises A Good Word, and He Lifts Up (The Weight) of Good Actions.

 

 

Dunyaholics Annonymously

 

Dunyaholism dangers: The Light side of worldly love, an e-Nuri lampoon depicting how dizzying an intoxicating worldly love can be .

 

 

Pre-Paid Life Card

 

Imagine when the plug of your life is pulled off, and you dial Customer Service angels and to your surprise you hear "You have Zero credit, no refills, (or topping up for UK Nomads)" What yaw gonna do?

The perils of aimlessness revisited.

 

 

Islam, is the true Security System; Ask Me How.

 

 

WOL Spiritual Clinic; Routine Spiritual Check Up.

 

The Ikhlaas machine reads " Your Nifaaq level is too high Ms Xanbadan, an imaan stroke is imminent, take a break and cure your failing imaan "

 

 

Enriched lives,

 

How any Faarax and any Xaliimo can align their marriage aspirations without a conflict, e-Nuri Emotional Intelligence Service to the rescue.

 

 

Why Fun is a Serious Business at e-Nuri Enterprises

 

All Your Curious Qusetions answered in this thread, dont shy away, goofiness is a landmark @ e-Nuri, only Allah is perfect we are proud to be goofy.

 

 

HeadScarves and Body Curves, The CONFLICT of Values

 

Have you seen a Haliimo wearing a Muslim headscarf and a tight pair of jeans? Examining the Drivers of Double Dealings..

 

 

A New e-Nuri Insurance Policy

 

A New Insurance Policy for a new growing segment, The over educated Halimos living in the west facing a dilemma of values, aspirations and lifestyles.

Insure your husband now against the highly occuring Polygamy Risk, e-Nuri Social architects worked out the problems for you. Now, with few Dollars a month you can have a piece of mind, finally you can relax, knowing your present or future hubby is secured and in safe hands, No more tears my dear sis. ( Please send your checks to e-Nuri Hubby Insurance Division, One Tawheed Plaza, Kurtunwarrey Heart Gallery, Somalia).

 

 

From the Anarchist Press;

 

1. Isgoyska Jowhar Isbaara For Sale:

 

We Create Problems, You Find solutions

How to keep up with your local warlord, 21 ways to stay ahead of the competition. Anarchy opportunity Investors with hard cash needed to buy new ISBARA near Jowhar, feasibility study is complete, will share with you the IRR and the NPV of the cashflow from the ISBAARA, ( Discount for investors who can provide six armed teenage cousins to man the Isbara station ) all you western anarchists send your money to the anarchist in your family so he can buy a share of this buisiness opportunity, no insane anarchist should miss this lifetime (deathtime) opportunity.

 

2. Camel Dung Enrichment Plant in Jowhar.

How Puntlandians are rejoicing the Jawhar affair exporting their woes to the heart of Anarchiland.

 

 

3. NGO ( Non Governmental organizations) The Vampire Economy and the making of a SVW ( Special Vehicle Warlord)

 

Now a new breed of warlords (Some who can even read e-Nuri articles) are emerging, lets examine the effect of NGOs to the creation, maintenance and advancing of anarchy in Somalia.

 

 

These are topics on my note book that I plan to write about in detail, inshAllah, these and more will be examined and your creative participation is highly encouraged, any additions to the above should be addressed to the proper e-Nuri Department at Kurtunwaarrey HQ. Anarchist issues will be handled by our Jowhar Anarchist Observer office.

 

 

Nur

 

 

2006 e-Nuri Corporation

The Light Side Of Heavy Stuff

Serving Common Sense With A Smile

[Cara.]

Welcome back Nur.

 

I see you're returning with blazing guns. Love the title.

[Warrior of Light]

Welcome back Bro Nur.

 

Exit strategy, do you have one?

 

I beleive I have one. Cant say to what percentage its foulproof, will need to find a way to test it. Looking forward to read your suggestions.

 

Fiamanillah

[Pacifist]

Salaam

 

Nice read but would be great if you could go in detail inshallah.

 

Am very much interested in particularly

 

3. NGO ( Non Governmental organizations) The Vampire Economy and the making of a SVW ( Special Vehicle Warlord)

 

Now a new breed of warlords (Some who can even read e-Nuri articles) are emerging, lets examine the effect of NGOs to the creation, maintenance and advancing of anarchy in Somalia.

this is some what my field and interest.

 

Jazakallah Nur

 

Wol salaam dada

[S.O.S]

3. NGO ( Non Governmental organizations) The Vampire Economy and the making of a SVW ( Special Vehicle Warlord)

 

Now a new breed of warlords (Some who can even read e-Nuri articles) are emerging,

lets examine the effect of NGOs to the creation, maintenance and advancing of anarchy in Somalia.

Assalamu calaykum brother Nur, good to see you back...

 

I can emagine The Vampire Economy, but what's the Special Vehicle Warlord? :confused:

 

I'll be looking with special interest to your evaluation/examination of the advocates/creators and the effects of ANARCHISM in particular, and the future of the libertarian movement, after having adopted Somalia as their philosophical testing ground. I haven't had the time to explore these issues myself, but am I wrong not to take these negative externalities too serious?

 

Best wishes,

Struggling Obedient Servant

[Nur]

S.O.S. ,

I assume your screen name stands for ( Save Our Somalia)?

 

You write:

 

I can emagine The Vampire Economy, but what's the Special Vehicle Warlord?

 

In the business world, when two companies decide to get into a business venture together without merging as a single company, they create a new entity like a miniature company that is specifically created for the said purpose only and is dissolved upon completion of such a project. Such entity is known as Special Vehicle Company or SVC.

 

Now, I leave the interpretation of Special Vehicle Warlord ( SVW) for you until the full article rols out of the e-Nuri printing mills.

 

 

Thank you for the Readership.

 

 

Nur

[S.O.S]

Brother Nur,

 

As a Simple Ordinary Soul, I can only pray for the Saviour Of Somalia with a Sigh Of Sadness. I hope when you Start Outlining Selected topics that you’ll come up with Sound Objective Strategies we can possibly adopt. For example, how to deal with the Stimulus Of Self-preservational instincts which the [tribal] Sensationalists, [NGO] Organisations and the [assumption of meaning] SVW always seem to appeal and rely on. Are there any Sentiment Ousting Solutions that can Save Our Somalia?

 

Now, I leave the interpretation of Special Vehicle Warlord ( SVW) for you until the full article rols out of the e-Nuri printing mills.

Since it's only one ingredient from a larger recipe, I rather wait for the full article than pre-taste some of it before the master chef is finished with cooking!

 

P.S. Apparantly, S.O.S also stands for Somali Shilling :confused:

[xiinfaniin]

^^LoOol@Somali Shilling. Interesting is how you

managed to come up half a dozen or more SOS’s.

 

Nurow, waan horannahay. Na waraabi yaa shaykhunaa .

[muunad]

A New e-Nuri Insurance Policy

 

A New Insurance Policy for a new growing segment, The over educated Halimos living in the west facing a dilemma of values, aspirations and lifestyles.

Insure your husband now against the highly occuring Polygamy Risk, e-Nuri Social architects worked out the problems for you. Now, with few Dollars a month you can have a piece of mind, finally you can relax, knowing your present or future hubby is secured and in safe hands, No more tears my dear sis. ( Please send your checks to e-Nuri Hubby Insurance Division, One Tawheed Plaza, Kurtunwarrey Heart Gallery, Somalia).

 

 

wow amazing, u can insure that(even in theory, better watch out before all the first and second wives join your insurance. i know alot of desperate house wives that would give u all the du'ah that u will ever need, if only the advertisment were the real deal.... :rolleyes:

[Haneefah]

I'm in the midst of formulating one, but any valuable suggestions will be welcomed and highly appreciated Insha'Allah.

 

Looking forward to the upcoming wrintings!

[Nur]

S.O.S

 

JZK for reminding me for a well structured stratgic approach to solving the vicious anarchy swirl we are in back in Somalia. Years ago at Somalinet I posted such a vision, when I began writing a comic lampoon impulsively online that day, i never knew the work would be a structured and applicable strategy for bringing peace to Somalia, let me post it again.

 

Note: The Approach of This proposal comes from Requirement engineering Of systems. Too many spelling and grammatic errors for which I had no time to edit will also appear, so bear with me, errors and mistakes are e-Nuri pride.

 

 

Fact Finding Trip Report fro jump starting Somalia Operational System Version 91.0

 

 

Somalia 91.0 has crashed beyound repair, for the last 12 years unqualified technicians and engineers have attempted to treouble shoot the system, but with no result, today users are running their applications on smaller systems written to run essential applications, required by users.

 

By far the most stable of the new systems is Somaliland 2002, specially after the first smooth log-on and password change of the new system Manager to replace the last system manager. Somaliland 2002 supports the following applications

 

1. Peace and security ( Foreign ASP Application Service Provider supported)

2. Education

3. Industry and commerce

4. Spiritulity (Coordination with Foreign ASP requirements)

5. Healthcare ( with add on application)

 

After examining the system at the main terminal ( Hargeisa Airport), I could not believe how efficient the system works, it is too scary when you think about how smoothely the system handles peace and tranquillity application. Recently the system has shown some cracks when it failed to run Tranquillity and peace application in Las Anod, a disputed site wher two systems are competing for users.

 

Another application that replaced Somalia 91.0 is the puntland 2002, a robust system remotely controled via wireless from a main frame in a non native environment, Puntland 2002 worked efficiently for the past ten years, but the system was designed to support exisiting Commercial applications.

 

Lately though the system crashed couple of times, but the system manager restored operation back to normal in record time. Some users have tried to run some spirituality applications on Puntland 2002 with no successs, System managers decided not to run any spiritual application on the Puntland 2002 system. In my last trip to Galkaio, engineers who declined to be named confided to me that the reason the Puntland system does not support Spirituality application is because , a non standard interface connecting the system to a non-native host system database in Addis Ababa. Host System In Addis conflicts with the spirituality applications, because it was not designed from the beginning to support spirituality applications.

 

When I visited Mogadishu, the HQ that housed Somalia 91.0 system, I was amazed how resourceful the local residents were, theirs is a system that everyone can log on in Mogadishu and vicinities, called CHAOS 2002. The sytem allows multiple access, no passwords are required to access the system, and everyone has access to the source code if they can invoke a Clan allegiance password.

 

What surprised me in the Chaos 2002 was that it actually runs well if you adjust your pull down menue buton to ( Personal security very low to insignificant) mode, while touring the HQ, I could hear loud sounds and the system engineers assured me that it was a periodic system crashs caused by two subusers belonging to the Father-of-Camels Clan, Engineers spent four days to run the ( tranquillity application) The engineers later told me that the Little-Orphans subClan are not compatible with the Good-News-Reporters subClan, but a temporary solution was found, the Engineers were more worried about another system inconsitency affecting other system users such as the Happiness Clan and their cousins.

 

The strength of Chaos 2002 system is that it is a distributed system, humming within the HQ environment, it could be down in Medina but working fine in Laba dhagax, users are used to fatal errors, they believe that at any time the system can crash, those not affected carry on and live goes on.

 

South of Mogadishu, I was told , that in Kismaio the CHAOS 2002 is working fine and the Jubba lands are connected to Addis Ababa via sattelite where foreign engineers are maintaing the system to make sure that if any integrated systems is placed in Mogadishu, that the system should support the Applications Service Providers current applications, specially the Tigrenya Security and Fisq applications.

 

After this quick tour, I thought about the idea of developing a new system that can accomodate all users who were using the Somalia 91.0 and here is my initial plan:

 

 

Phase one: Gather requirements of the system ( From Somalinet audience) Here I need your input, what would you like the system to do?

 

User groups can be : 1. Tribal, Color, Sex, Religious preference, Anarchists, etc.dreamers, ..

 

Their requirements can be: Peace, food, faith, health care, education, fun, sports etc.

 

The outcome possibilities are result of the matrix of the above two lines. but to filter them to workable sets, we need to analyze the requirements which brings us to next Phase.

 

Phase Two: Analyze requirements of different user groups for conflict. Developers are worried that some users requirements may critically impair other users or put them out of business. So a delicate job is to weigh the requirements by a fair benchmark, This will lead us to set up a Standard and a Benchmark to accomodate all groups, or as much s possible.

 

Phase Three: Agreement on common standards acceptable to all: After studying the standards issue, our developers have come to a conflicting options : Here is their Motivation:

 

If we select any groups standatd, the other will refuse, because each standard protects the group that has endorsed it, so to be fair we looked for a standard by an outsider. Here we found two choices.

 

1. Terrestial

2. Extra terrestial

 

after a long debate, the Developers agreed to adobt the Extra Terrestial Benchmark standard. Again Developers found many Standards that claim to be Extra terrestial, after careful examining of all the Standards, the Developers selected ISLAM as the best fit solution for the Somali Users of the sytem, since virtually all Somalis accept this standard, a unanimous deceision was reached to Adobt Islam as the Standard on which to base the Sytem requirements.

 

Phase Four: Conflict resolution based on Standards : Once the Islam Standard is established, A developer team will carry out a Conflict resolution project to narrow down conflicts and bridge concerns, one ancient remedy in this regard is to have each Clans representative marry from its rival to cement love and affection. Other ideas are still flowing and yours is needed.

 

Phase Four: Technical Requirements of the system ( technical Team) Here, A technical team will meet to sift through the heaps of documents collected in other phases, and will meticulously lay down a unified list of requirements for the system, to be presented to Sytem designers.

 

Phase five: System Design this phase will employ all talents available to translate the requiremens into a working system. Your resumes are needed so that we can use your skills where they are neede best.

 

Phase Six: System Testing: Developers will test the system in selected sites, depending on the application mostly used and needed

 

Final Phase: Soft Launch of the system, without any fanfare, the system will be launched quitely and Developers will be on the highest allert to respond to any failures. A Call Center will be set up to learn dynamically the problems, log histories, follow up repair and assign jobs to the most qualified technicians on the pool. A CRM system will be employed to work with the Call center. The Call center will be managed by System specialists who have helped in the development, later , the most experienced Developer will be propmoted to become Chief System Manager, He will not be a human, he will be a SONY assembed ROBOT with artificial intelligence.

 

 

Nur Productions 2002, All rights are Reserved until further Notice.

 

 

Nur

[Nur]

Qucik Responses

 

Xiin bro.

 

Allaha ii rumeeyo wanaagga aad igu maleyneso . Waxaan Alla ka baryayaa inuu:

 

" Wajcal lii lisaana Sidqin fil aakhiriin, wajcalnii min warathata jannatin naciim, waghfir li abii innahu kaana minad daaaalliin, walaa tukhzinii yawma yubcathuun, yawma laa yanfacu maalun walaa banuun, illaa man atAllaaha biQALBIN SALIIM . amin

 

Mini

 

At e-Nuri ands Associates, we are keen in addressing issues that are troubling our ladies, we need to find a solution, once we launch our new insurance product, like you have predicted, we expect our phones to ring off the hook inshAllah, in a humor filled way.

 

Abraar

 

Why not share your strategy, may be we can incorporate in the upcoming piece?

 

 

Nur

[S.O.S]

Brother Nur, may Allah reward you for all your effords!

 

Very fresh and interesting systematic approach of problem solving, away from the usual dead-end helter-skelter! But could we get through the phases as recommended if there are a couple of viruses that are very delicately and at times undetectable to expert engineers which are disguised within the popular malaise still preventing the adopted or chosen system application program to run smoothly?

 

Phase five: System Design this phase will employ all talents available to translate the requiremens into a working system. Your resumes are needed so that we can use your skills where they are neede best.

"To each is a goal to which God turns him; then strive together (as in a race) Towards all that is good. Wheresoever ye are, God will bring you Together. For God Hath power over all things." (2:148)

 

Or is this program the only overriding system for ALL system crashes, that we needn’t worry on the execution of this particular system installment? I've become, like many (some not yet aware of), a victim of satanic pessimism in this regard more than once or twice...but the stuggle will insha'Allaah continue!

[Nur]

S.O.S.

 

Attitude! its all about attitude, you write:

 

................but the stuggle will insha'Allaah continue!

 

That is right, with our Nafs (soul) Satan and others, its challenging, but life without a challanege would be a bore, thinking forward is the secret of life, after all said and done, what have we contributed to life on earth? how many people have we enlightened who have benefited from thoughts we shared with them ans as a result their life became more meaningful? how much pain have we alliviated, how many broken hearts have we consoled? the list can go on and on an on.

 

Even If Allah blesses us with Paradise as a reward for our deeds, we will always envy the lost opportunities that could have earned us a higher level in Paradise, but we are here and we are surrounded by so many opportunities to do good on earth to earn us the highest place in Paradise, shouldnt we take on the challenge?

 

Nur