CHANGING SURNAME AFTER MARRIAGE: HALAL OR HARAM

[Reena]

My question is regarding women changing their surname to their husbands name after marriage. I have been told that it is haram but my husband will not agree, he wants me to change my name. When I tell him that it is against Islam he askes for proof from Quran. Can anyone please provide me with proof from Quran or hadith, and please provide the links or sources (authentic sources) so I can show him. And the reason for that ruling.

 

Thank you

[- Femme -]

Saalaam Reena. Welcome to SOL. Hope you enjoy your stay here.

 

I have heard the same thing, and the reason for it is because we do not belong to our husbands. We are not clothing to be tossed from man to man. I mean, how tiresome and annoying is it to keep on changing your name legally & socially husband after husband? Lets say you were married two times, which is fairly common now. That means you will have to do three name changes...from your original (father's), to your first husband, then to the next.

 

Sheesh. Too much work girlfriend. I always found it odd that a husband and wife shared the same last name. Are they supposed to be spouses or siblings? Decreases confusion also. And akward moments.

 

 

Possible Scenerio:

"Your younger brother is so freakin hot Reena"

"Uhhhh, thats my husband" :rolleyes: :mad:

 

P.S. Sorry couldnt provide you with any links. My brain hurts. Its late. And I have a hunch someone more knowlegable will come along.

[Muhammad]

Salaams Reena, Welcome to SOL.

 

I'm not an expert on this subject, or how changin Surnames works. But changing your Fathers name is forbiden.

 

here are some sources in the Quraan and Sunnah:

 

“Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah…†[al-Ahzaab 33:5].

 

 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has cursed the one who claims to belong to someone other than his father.†[ Reported by Imaam Ahmad and others ]

 

Allahu A'lam.

[Warrior of Light]

Bro Muhammad thank you for providing the evidence as to why names are not changed.

 

To serve as a reminder the first name though can be changed. As we were adviced by our Prophet SAW to name each other with beautiful names. Thus people who revert back to Islam or Muslims with embarassing names may change their names.

 

I just wanted to add a quotation I once read regarding the addressed topic.

 

An American judge once commented on the rights of the Muslim women saying ," A muslim girl may marry ten times, but her individuality is not absorbed by that of her various husbands. She is a solar planet with a name and a legal personality of her own."

 

Excerpt from the booklet "Women in Islam versus women in judeo-christian tradition the myth and the reality".

[Reena]

he just wont agree with me, now it is fustrating me, i told him about surah al-ahzab and so he read the translation on the internet and asked his mom and she said something completely different, infact she said it is okay, im not sure what exactly to do now because he can't see my point of view, i even e-mail the local islamic newspaper they told me the same thing that it is haram... somebody help me please.

[Warrior of Light]

Be patient, increase your prayers and make duas for his soul.In the time being, try to find a figure who he respects and can take advice from.e.g Imam . Lastly, remind him that he isnt supposed to go against a matter our religion has made a decision on.

 

Out of curiosity sister, why is he admant for you to change your name? There are more important things in a marriage to be worried about or addressed than forcing you to accept his name.

 

And as his mother has a problem with the ruling to,it will be advisable for her to be present when the matter is adressed. Problem is alot of people still mix culture with religion, and as the world has become so care free people just shrug and move on. While in reality it is wrong.

Islamically speaking you are in the right sister.

 

May Allah give you patience and make the ordeal easy for you.

[Naasir]

Brother Mohammed I guess u r living up to your nickname. Thnx 4 providing the Aaya

 

Reena,

I hope your question ain't hypothetical, Also there may be a reason why he is insisting, which only u know it, cuz I don't see him pushing toward changing names as long as you are legally married (registered your local courthouse)since it doesn't make any different, Plus I believe it falls under the Aaya Mohammed provided. Also Mohammed provided and said The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said “Allaah has cursed the one who claims to belong to someone other than his father.†I think your grandfather will come under that too cuz u can't be changing your grandfather's name to your husbands grandfather or you will be associating your father to your husband's grandfather.

I also will advise you to seek one and one when asking such question with a prominent scholar cuz I can tell you or some else may tell you a convincing answer which may not be right.

 

Ilaahaa Og

God knows

[Jacpher]

To tackle the problem well, I think it would be a good idea for both of you to pay a visit to your local mosque and speak directly with the Imam. You both need to hear it from someone that’s respected in the community in which you live in and is in a better position (than we are) to give you the right answer. It’s possible the Imam might tell you the same verse Muhammad posted above but your husband needs to hear from someone other than ‘internet’ or ‘some Muslim newspaper’. The Imam might just be enough for your husband to give up the idea.

 

I have to tell you though this name change is not Somali culture, assuming you’re one. Asking or expecting a Somali sister to take your name gets you nothing but a big slap in the face, that’s if you are lucky. Some sisters will speak of your ‘hidden agenda’ of erasing her identity, history and that of her family, and owning her. It is their ‘hot button’ methinks. Good for them. I personally can’t image having someone else’s last name.

 

I can’t speak of your particular situation but marriage is (or should be) all about compromising, respecting one’s thoughts, disagreements and all those good things…right? What is with the pushing? If I can ask. And I agree with WOL, there're more important things in marriage than a name change.

 

May Allah be on your side and good luck.

[Reena]

salam, thank you for the reply, well actually we have only had the nikkah as of yet so we dont live together, infact i brought up this topic so that it does not come as a surprise to him, and im not from somalia actually im from pakistan.