Troll, sheeko, shah and jaad chewing

[Qodax Qorax]

Welcome to the Sheeko, shah and jaad chewing thread. This thread is only for men, ladies who chew are not allowed in this section. There is another thread for ladies where there is even shah and cakes. Here you can freely share all your murqaam stories.

[Qodax Qorax]

I do love jaad, khat, miraa, hagigat, ghat, chad, chat, jaad, gat, qat, jaat, quat, call it how ever you want it. I am loving it. At least I admit it, and I am not feeling a shamed of it. Unfortuantly I havent chewed in 1 year due to the criminalization of jaad by the authorities here. But I do have good memories on my last murqaam and oow boy I was off the hook.

 

Lucky for me, I will be visiting the UK for next month. I assume there is plenty of jaad for me there.

 

So which respectable and true Somali here on SOL will invite me for a real Somali traditional session of sheeko, shaah iyo jaad chewing?

 

 

 

[Juxa]

I doubt many would write here and claim waxaan ahay jaad-cune ( at least i hope not)

 

let me pain you a picture of typical jaad-cune in the UK, a smelly male, with no teeth (or worse rotten teeth) uu jirkuusa tixri kudhashay and if he walks past you aad moodo inuu 10 years windowless jail kasoo baxay. He would probably approach you early in the morning and demand that you give him £2 for the bus fare!

 

carry on balse i hope you find away to kick that horrible addiction

[Jacaylbaro]

The Bum and the Khat Affect

 

In khat circles there is a well known argument that once a man finishes chewing he suddenly gets an uncontrollable urge to be with and around beautiful women (they call it the kac sii tuf theory). For most chewers, of course, this is a simple fantasy that is unlikely to ever be fulfilled. But for Ali BM things were different.

 

In Hargeisa, the capital city of Somaliland as in many other parts of Africa, men that drive their own cars and are known to have a bit of money are always popular with the ladies. Ali BM was such a man.

 

Today, like every day, he was chewing in his usual place. He looked at his bag of Khat and noticed that he was almost running out. He wanted to top up his khat and maybe stick around for an hour or two more. Alas he knew his reputation and good name would suffer if he were spotted still chewing at such a late time! After struggling with his thoughts and cravings for a few minutes he finally decided to give up and head home.

 

Once home, he had a quick bath, changed into his nicest pair of trousers, put on his best shirt then showered himself with his most expensive bottle of perfume. Ali was planning to go out to dinner with a beautiful lady. Initially, It was not clear if this was due to the K.S.T theory or if Ali had planned this dinner in advance! However, once he was in his car and started to drive aimlessly around the Hargeisa streets, it became obvious that Ali was planning to randomly pick his queen tonight.

 

This was Ali’s lucky night. It was dark, cloudy and rainy. People were scampering along the sidewalks and trying to get to their destinations as quickly as possible. Ali, on the other hand, was cruising and looking out for suitable prey. Since all the people were walking ahead of him and he had no chance to check out their faces on such a dark night, Ali had to adjust his criteria for choosing his lady tonight. ‘They’ll all have to be judged on the state of their bottoms’, he said to himself and started chuckling.

 

The rain was a godsend and Ali had a perfect chance to assess all the candidates as they scurried to the nearest shelter. Some resembled flags fluttering in the wind. Others reminded him of wobbling jelly. Some bottoms looked like a couple of badminton shuttlecocks whilst others looked like a pair of satanic pumpkins!

 

Finally, as he scanned the roads ahead and considered the various bottoms ambling about, Ali noticed a beautiful pair of bottoms gliding around in unison. They were beautifully similar and they moved to the beat of the hip-hop song Ali had blaring from his car sound system. Left, right, left right left. Left, right, left right left. It was beautifully mesmerising and Ali wondered if he was still slightly intoxicated from his earlier khat session. He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him and that he was suffering from some sort of optical illusion. Surely nothing could be so perfectly round, so symmetrical and move with such grace. What’s more, it was not just one bottom but TWO! The hallucination was still continuing and Ali thought he spotted beauty, wisdom, virtue and intelligence in the way those two bottoms were bouncing around in the air as their owners distantly walked to their destination.

 

Ali started to slow down as he drew parallel with the owners of the heavenly bottoms and shouted the words “inakeena aan roobka idinka sii qaadee”! One uttered an incomprehensible exclamation and, upon hearing her gruff voice, Ali got ready to hear some endless insults. Instead, she commenced to pray for him and praise him for being so kind and helpful. Ali was still uncomfortable with her husky voice and told her (and her friend) to hurry up and get in the car. He was looking in his rear-view mirror as the car doors opened and the two new passengers got in. Ali almost chocked on his own saliva! The heavenly bottoms had beards and what he thought were dresses and hijabs turned out to be white robes and head coverings! Ali took a real good look at both men then commenced to slam his hands against the steering wheel and laugh at his own foolishness. ‘Take us to the mosque at the end of the road, brother’, said one of the heavenly bottoms. Ali nodded his head and started the car as he carried on loudly chuckling to himself.

 

This was a few years ago. Ali had proven that the K.S.T theory actually works but has not touched one stick of khat ever since.

[Alpha Blondy]

lool@going to uk as a drugs tourist.

[wyre]

I never chewed the thing, but I like those who do, sababtoo ah wey iska fatahmayaan markey bahasha cunaan:D

[Qodax Qorax]

This is how murqaam should be.

 

 

[Qodax Qorax]

Mirqaam in Somaliland

 

 

[Qodax Qorax]

Alpha Blondy;688181 wrote:

lool@going to uk as a drugs tourist.

Alpha Blondy, qof murqaamsan ayaad u eegtahay. goormaan wada fariisanaa?

[Alpha Blondy]

lool.... dont know what gave you that idea, but you are more than welcome to sit down with me. i'm in hargeisa, Somaliland.

[Showqi]

Qodax, groupka ka bax niyow,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Aw marqaan macaleesh faa'iido malaha.

[Qodax Qorax]

murqaamka meel fog ayaan ka arkaa.

 

 

walee, Hargerysa iyo Herreri maxaan ugu xiisay.

[Fisher man]

My favorite drug z baziin and binji, just try it nd pass da whole universe with0ut any d0cment....chew qaad z n0thn afka baa ku daalaayo n0oh nd u ave 2 pay lacag if u want jaad but baziinka baabuurta diriska baad ka soo dhuuqeysaa without money u kno xaraarad aan caadi eheena waa lee yahay n0oh hadad naxdo ne immdtly wuu kaa baxaa sarqaanka n0oh one day baziin baan cabay n0oh markuu i gaaray xawaaraha bazinka baa waxa isoo sawirmay anagoo naarta noo la wado so i run nd ma friend run afta m3 qabtaay sheekadu waa dheer tahay markan argay my father sarqankii baa iga jabay naxdin dardeed

[Valenteenah.]

^^ LoL. Why can't you find a box of matches when you need them?

[nuune]

Fisher man;688205 wrote:

My favorite drug z baziin and binji, just try it nd pass da whole universe with0ut any d0cment....chew qaad z n0thn afka baa ku daalaayo n0oh nd u ave 2 pay lacag if u want jaad but baziinka baabuurta diriska baad ka soo dhuuqeysaa without money u kno xaraarad aan caadi eheena waa lee yahay n0oh hadad naxdo ne immdtly wuu kaa baxaa sarqaanka n0oh one day baziin baan cabay n0oh markuu i gaaray xawaaraha bazinka baa waxa isoo sawirmay anagoo naarta noo la wado so i run nd ma friend run afta m3 qabtaay sheekadu waa dheer tahay markan argay my father sarqankii baa iga jabay naxdin dardeed

waxaad hilmaantey tarraq, I know it is dangerous but would have being good combination,

 

The baanziin or oolyada baabuurta is great taste of marqaan, the heavier the vehicle's oolyo the better cuz it uses alot of flames and fumes, and that is where the xaraarto lies, the smaller vehicles oolyo never changed my state of xaraarto, it was normal, baabuurta waaweeyn ee gobolada aado oo habeenkii boosteejooyinka looga tago ayaan illaa matoorka hoose u dhici jirney caagado ka soo buuxsan jirney oolyada and baaziin, this will keep us alive for the 2 nights of full of mirqaanka adduunka and the latest xaraarto, habeen baan saan oolyo u cabbeenay ayaan magaaladii dhanneed intaan ka dhax baxney baan anagoo duur iska joogno aragney, only to see doofaar roaming around they were chasing us and we were chasing them as well.

 

 

 

About the Jaad, I believe the starter is immature and knows nothing about Jaad, spend one day at STC area in Hargeisa and change around in different makhaayado solely for Jaad only, your family or whatever will never see you for 7 nights, you will spend most of your time around the goats who are chewing Jaad themselves.

 

What do you know about the types of Jaad, the Dhajjis, the Dabamusbaar, the Taraanqud, Hooglajiif, Subun, Isla-hadal, Dakkaan, Buncood, Qootaf, Xinjir-gooye, Ceesan-haatiye, Allow-ku daa, Habeena-qad, Holciye, Cirka-taabte, Fardaaye, Xiidma-jare.

 

 

naga daa dee waxba islama heesid, jaad buu ku leeyahay, jaad, orodoo iskoolka dhameeso adeer.