Yes! ANOTHER men related thread!

[Kulmiye]

Nugul;682187 wrote:

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

Your purpose in life is not to get married but to worship Allah swt. A lot of people are single and happy. I have been married 3 yrs now, but we do not have children yet. God know if we would have children or not. Nothing is guaranteed in life. You just keep going.

Salaamu Aleekum walal, Horta ku soo dhawow SOL- and I will make a dua and hope that God will grant you with beautiful children (inshallah) patience is a beautiful thing sometimes:) That been said i just want to say that although marriage is not the main purpose we are in this Dunya- its an important duty that every muslim must fulfill just as you need to fulfill your salad and soon.

 

" The Purpose of Marriage

 

As a meaningful institution, marriage has two main purposes:

 

To ensure preservation of the human species and continuation of the human race,

 

"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord, Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them has spread abroad a multitude of men and women" (Quran: 4:1)

 

To provide spiritual and legal foundation of the family"

 

"And of His signs is this: He created for you mates from yourself that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, therein indeed are portents for folk who reflect". (Quran 30:21)"

 

and as far as dating goes----

 

Just as any adult can enter into any legal contract, so also any adult man or woman can arrange his or her own marriage, provided that during the process of arranging the marriage there is no sexual contact, in other words, there is no dating in the North American style (meaning you could meet with your mate as long as its in Halal and in public) It is also well known that Khadijah, the Prophet's first wife arranged her own marriage with the Prophet. It is true that this happened before sayyadna Muhammad received prophethood. But if an arrangement by a woman of her own marriage were so shameful in the eyes of Allah as it is in the eyes of some Muslims, then He would have somehow prevented His Messenger from such a marriage. Moreover, there are some xadith which show that even after receiving prophethood the prophet (S.A.W)did not disapprove of women arranging their own marriage. to quote a xadith in here:

 

"A woman came to the Messenger of God and offered herself to him (in marriage). When she had stood for a long time (without receiving an answer) a man got up and said: Messenger of God! Marry her to me if you have no need of her. He asked the man if he had anything to give her as dower (marriage gift), and when he replied that he had nothing but the lower garment he was wearing, the Prophet said: Look for something, even though it be an iron ring. Then when the man had searched and found nothing, God's Messenger asked him whether he new anything of the Qur'an. When the man replied that he knew Surah so and so and Surah so and so, God's Messenger said: Go away, I give her to you in marriage. Teach her some of the Qur'an." (Bukhari and Muslim on the authority of Sahl bin Sa'd)

[Nugul]

Kulmiye, jazza akkalaah kheyran walalo for your dua aameen,

 

It is not that I disagree with what you said but the question is what one can do if it was not meant to happen? it is qadar so we have to accept what Allah decreed for us. That is what I was trying to remind the sister about. Her second post was a bit odd which made me think she is trying to attack ''the feminists'' in the board.

 

I saw women in their 40's who have never been married. They have stronh eemaan and happy with what allah gave them ( health etc). They worship God. It is a test for thier eman. I am not that strong and I remember when I was 26 I was so heart broken by somebody. Then a year and half later I met my husband. I knew him for 2 weeks when we got married. Allhamdulliah, I am with him.

 

I am hoping that allah swt to change this but if it does not happen, I will be happy with what God gave me (my life and health). I am not very religious person and sometimes can lose hope in Allah to the pooint that I do not believe in God, but then I get back in track. It is life and struglle. Emotional struggle.

 

I remind the younger sister that Aisha ra got married when she was 40 before that she was happy with her life and bussines. You got to make something out of your life. If things are meant to happen it will happen. Just be active. Being active is the first step to meet people.

[Malika]

^Edit your post dear - it was Khadija RA - a lot to be learned from her.

[Faheema.]

Jacaylbaro;682179 wrote:

 

Waar inanta caawiya dee ...... she can't go to Masjid but she can come to SOL ,,,,

:D

[cynical lady]

Faheema loool. I know pure genius moment by JB.

 

p.s this topic has been exhausted from all possible angles. Someone should do us a favor and dump this thread with the rest of the rubbish ones @the women section.

[5]

Lychee;682186 wrote:

 

Anyway let’s be real, you can acquire as much academic education as you want, get as many degrees under your belt but convincingly (IF YOU ARE BLESSED) you’ll get married and settle down and ultimately your place will be at home looking after you kids, raising them in an Islamic environment and looking after your husband and fulfilling his needs.

 

Or else you’ll end up being a lonely pseudo feminist. (Good luck ladies)

We're the same age (I am turning 23 next week) and I don't know who you hang with but 23 is NOT old. Maybe you should stop spending so much time with your grandmother and more time with actual 23-year-olds, and maybe - just maybe - you might be able to find more content and happiness in your life.

 

BTW, I know that bit you wrote was just a not-so-subtle self promotion, but you should stop being so cocky about only blessed people getting married. Plenty people get married and divorced and many more live in an abusive marriage. Then of course there are those who want to get married (like you) but ultimately never do (like my aunt). So if it's blessings you are looking for, turn to your parents and worship the ground under their feet.

[Blessed]

You sound so much like that Afroqueen 'girl' .

[grasshopper]

Lychee, check out this thread http://www.somaliaonline.com/community/showthread.php/854-Question-for-the-ladies - same question but from the guy's perspective.

 

You guys have a lot in common *hint hint*

[Libaax-Sankataabte]

Nomads, let us be little nice to new members and let them ask their burning questions. This community offers them that anonymity. It is the whole point of being here.

[Aaliyyah]

Lyche inshallah sis you will find the right man at the right time. I am the same age as you are and I dont really feel the urge to get married right now. Inshallah I want to pursue grad school and thats my dream to have a career and support myself and be independent. That doesnt mean I dnt want to get married, it just means theres no rush to get married. However, if you want to get married and as you said dating is haraam just ask around (ie your friends) if they know a good guy whose educated and responsible whose also seeking for a wife (you can go for group dating i dnt think thats as bad), we dont live in a small village where mama knows every good serious guy out there and every loser ! adoo wax xun sameeneen qof baro..wa iga talo qofna ha iskasoo xaresan. I'LL PRAY for you. All the best hun

 

5 mashallah sis more or less you gave a good advice definitely aljanna taxta aqdaama umahaat, and since when being 23 is considered old lol..

 

Lychee Sis, pray salaatu istikhaarah (guidance prayer) and ask God everything you want/need or desire from this world and that includes marriage, doing well in ur school, maintaing ur health etc)...

 

You will be in my prayers...

 

salaam

[Chimera]

While I don't believe in pressuring a person when they hit a certain age, I do think looking for a mate when your young is a good thing.

 

Perfectly fine, if you marry at the age of 30, but if you could have found that person at 23 instead of 30 through multi-tasking, that would mean 7 years gained.

 

Of course there is a chance of a divorce seven years later, but atleast your still in your prime when that happens.

[Ismalura]

@ Lychee abaayo 23 is not old. Actually I think that the best age for marriage is 25 but it really doesn't matter what i think ; Guur waa calaf at the end of the day. Mida kale you shouldn't feel bad coz your friends are married since you might be a lot better off than they are. I know many ladies who married and miserable. May be because they were too scared of being the ' lonely pseudo feminist' like you are and settled for less than they deserve. Marriage is no small business ee good luck to you and all the single SOLers.

[Aaliyyah]

Ismalura well put mashallah...

as they say alsabru miftaaxu alfaraj (patience is the key to happiness/success). I am sure if she takes her time and does not rush she will find someone worth it rather than marrying anyone that crosses her path...patience is a virtue!

 

5 happy bday hun in advance...

 

Grasshopper loooool walahi they have so much in common. How did we miss that. Bless Sol

 

salaam

[Bashiir]

*Blessed;682571 wrote:

You sound so much like that Afroqueen 'girl' .

I hope lynchee is lynchee. A 23 kala xidhan.

[Blessed]

Bashiir;682930 wrote:

I hope lynchee is lynchee. A 23 kala xidhan.

Waxba haiga qorin, mine is an old wives tale.. They do resemble each other in their manner of writing and topic themes but then aniga dar meeshan jooga ayaan paranoia ka qaaday. BTW.. Have ever had a lychee fruit? It's very interesting, I tell ya. (True story and completely off topic).

 

 

I agree with Chimera, I a lot of sisters / brothers make the mistake of treating life as a serious of sequential events and shut off the idea of getting married till they check off a long list of things in their to do list. Meanwhile facoodu way is guursanayaan and then we get the never ending complaint of 'no good faarax and xaliimo' – which is an exaggeration in itself but I digress..

 

At the end of the day having a degree, masters, a career or being well traveled aren't necessary ingredients for marriage. It's compatible personalities, shared vissions, respect and love which sustain a marriage. You can marry young, study, climb the career ladder, travel and develop together. Our lives aren't made up of neat compartments of experiences and how boring would it be if it was? Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely fine, if you feel that YOU are not ready for marriage or don't even want to get married and surely there's calaf. However, there's a pervasive notion of life ending with marriage in the young (and some adults) of our community and it is a fictitious one. We're blessed with free will, so this life is ultimately what you make it..