Yes! ANOTHER men related thread!

[Lychee]

Ok, so I’m ultimately turning 23 (Insha’Allah) and I’m starting to feel a tad bit old, like most of us I couldn’t wait to grow up quick and now that I’m hitting 23 I’m starting to worry, yes alhamdulila Allah has blessed me with 23 long years where I haven’t gone a day with hunger, I’m in good health, a roof over my head and plenty to be grateful for yet I somehow feel very anxious about growing up. A lot of my friends are now married..and I’m still HERE....Single!

 

*Feels like having a rant*

 

Good men are hard to find nowadays, their like the economy, their going down...

 

Yes, I’m a woman and I shouldn’t seek but I should be sought...

But I highly doubt my knight in shining armour is going to randomly come knocking on my door..

 

-Dating is haram

-Going to my local masjid and asking around for brothers who are interested in marriage doesn’t quite tickle my fancy

 

NO HOPE...

[Jacaylbaro]

You're 23

You're single

You want someone

You're ready now

 

 

Waar inanta caawiya dee ...... she can't go to Masjid but she can come to SOL ,,,,

[Nugul]

23 is not old. Do not compare yourself with your friends, you are you. You go for what makes you happy. Do not you have other goals in life? education and career?

You do not have to get married if you have not met the right person. The way I understand marriage takes place under qadar, so what about if it is not you qadar to get married? would you be unhappy with your life? I hope not. Life offers other things that can make someone happy, it is what you make of it.

 

So I suggested (if you are serious) that you should make your life active; who knows you may meet someone.

 

Good luck.

[Lychee]

JB: If I were here to pursue a man I would be online all day everyday and I’d be hitting every dudes PM, but I do neither one so don’t even entertain that idea my dear friend. :-)

 

Nugul: Who said I haven’t got a degree behind me? :-S Maybe completing my degree has made me think the way I currently am..

 

Anyway let’s be real, you can acquire as much academic education as you want, get as many degrees under your belt but convincingly (IF YOU ARE BLESSED) you’ll get married and settle down and ultimately your place will be at home looking after you kids, raising them in an Islamic environment and looking after your husband and fulfilling his needs.

 

Or else you’ll end up being a lonely pseudo feminist. (Good luck ladies)

[Nugul]

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

I was just trying to be helpful; I did not say that you do not have a Degree, just raised questions followed by suggestions.

 

As far as I am concerned marriage is qadar, you can try your best but cannot force it to happen. I suggested that you should be active with your life so you might meet someone through your activities. I did not get married until I was 28 (3 years ago). I am 31. I met so many people but I was destined to meet my husband out from nowhere.

I am quite new here so I do not know if you are referring to other female users. By the way, there is nothing wrong with being feminist. It all depends on how you interpret it.

 

I do not know your intention of coming here, but I do not think advertising yourself in this way, would not help you. May be you should learn about shukaanso and slowly get to know the brothers online.

 

If you do have to/should not feel lonely in life even if you do not meet someone. Your purpose in life is not to get married but to worship Allah swt. A lot of people are single and happy. I have been married 3 yrs now, but we do not have children yet. God know if we would have children or not. Nothing is guaranteed in life. You just keep going.

[Somalina]

Good luck in finding a partner to share your life with in this crazy world.

 

I recommend that you read:

The Choice Effect:Love and Commitment in an Age of Too Many Options by Amelia Mc Gibbon, Lara Vogel and Claire A. Williams.

 

It may not help you get a guy but it is a nice read (during the holidays). :D

[RaMpAgE]

You still got plenty of time in my opinion, so don't rush.

How ever you can do your part not neccesarly seeking but by looking in the right places .

My only advice i just don't became like those somali girls, who were brainwashed by some big bearded salafi ajnabi guy.

[Malika]

Insha'allah Kheyr, like everything else in life it comes when its meant to come - by Qadr of Allah. If it's meant to be it will be and if not it wont be - no need to stress about it.

Nevertheless I bid you good luck in your search.

[Abuu2000]

marriage marriage marriage, sis if u want to get married then like everything else in life u just need to make an effort, let your folks and friends know about it as well. Introduction is still the best method to finding a suitable kusband. Good luck

[cynical lady]

Anyway let’s be real, you can acquire as much academic education as you want, get as many degrees under your belt but convincingly (IF YOU ARE BLESSED) you’ll get married and settle down and ultimately your place will be at home looking after you kids, raising them in an Islamic environment and looking after your husband and fulfilling his needs.

 

Or else you’ll end up being a lonely pseudo feminist. (Good luck ladies)

Ohh dear!!!

[SayidSomal]

Don't fret yet young sis - until you are resigned to being a mere minyaro or as you put it 'end up being a lonely pseudo feminist' like our resident Mrs Gonzalo Higuain

[Juxa]

Lynchee there are few things you posted that i cont possible agree with you. However you have plenty of time in your hands, dont rush to marriage, men will come, one after another and another and another.....but you will only marry kii alle kuu xukmo.

 

So concentrate on other things you wish to do before marriage and pursue those relentlessly. The rest will sort itself out insha allah!

 

Good luck walaaleey

[Nugul]

There are also some marriage sites you can join. I do not know if there are SOmali exclusive marriage sites though, just google.

Look smart all the time and be honest of what you looking for. But remember if you get desperate nobody would want you. Just go around and have hope in ALlah swt.

[Pyjamas]

I think you're still young. Take your time insha'Allah. I don't know where you live, but there are muslim marriage events in London. You said all your friends are married, why don't you ask the sisters to ask their husbands about his friends - if any of them are planning to settle down to contact you. That's what I what I plan to do when I feel ready for marriage.

 

If that doesn't work, then just try the masjid. It's not ceeb, it's worth a try.You never know!

 

Don't feel shy and just go for it. Also forget traditons, sometimes the woman should seek! I think a lot of guys in their early twenties plan to marry when they're near 30 ( and then it will be too late for us then lol. So maybe you should consider getting hitched with 27-29 yr old men ect?

 

Once you get to know a brother, make sure you know what you want from each other. Is he the type of man who will let his wife work etc. Does he want more than 1 wife?

 

Ask questions, so you don't regret it later. And remember marriage may sound fun and all that, but there will be ups and downs. When you live with someone you really get to know them. To us single girls, marriage seems like the end of our goals, it is only the beginning.

[Oz]

Maantay Arimiihii gabdhaheenu ma waxay maraysaa "Tabantaabo Gacal baan rabaa Tolow ha lay guursho" :D see waaye!! aawey dhagax barkada yaashii sida Ngonge iyo AT&T, koley ani gacanta waa taagey. yey idin dhafin fursadaa qaaligaa.

 

Sry Lychee