Opposites - A short Story

[xiinfaniin]

Considering your previous Kastuumo topics, this is by far the worst...

 

Waryaa, wixii aan kaa waaniyey baa dhex fadhidaa

 

Carraabayey hadda nabaadiino, iyo nooli kulanteen

[Abtigiis]

Xinnfanin: A certifiable Literary Quack

 

Somethings never change as Xinn said in reference to a mild story I posted this week. Indeed, the irony is lost on the man who turns every nook and cranny to give the impression of a masterful critique of literature and specifically poetry. He failed to provide a single actionable suggestion beyond a blanket censure ala Alshabab style for over three years and hence indeed somethings never change.

 

People are generally opinionated, but none as opinionated as the this man from the land of the 'hard-eyed' in Somali parlance. There is a veneer of righteousness to the enormous self-centredness he exhibits when analysing all things from politics to exchange of pleasantries, reinforced by the apparent acquiescence of hoodwinked newbies who are primary victims of his wanton bullying.

 

Like a judge, he robes himself with synthetic wadaadnimo and Odaynimo, in the process robbing all others of their shine. And the robes give Xinnfanin an air of caalim, which is what probably makes him believe he is a votary of the god/goddess of knowledge and wisdom.

 

His tongue moves with a swooping swagger, his tiny neck and frames obeying measured movements of his lips that ruffle gently the greying moustache, marking its proud motion. Always in tow, or running beside, will be an un-robed ruffian - Mr. Somalia types, clearly grateful and fixed to the helm of this dark "Puntalnd oracle" — literally by step, symbolically by talk and false smile.

 

But we are living with him for three years now and have yet to see a word we can celebrate and be grateful for learning from him. His knowledge doesn't go beyond cheeky poetry lines uplifted from Daraaawish literature and moralising denunciations of certain social behaviours. SOL community have waited patiently for more than half of an election cycle in a democratic country to see positive contributions from this man. They now learn with sadness that the man is just a literary quack who is thrust upon the good-hearted men and women of SOL for reasons or sins only posterity shall tell.

 

:D In case the admin delete the thread I created elsewhere!

[NGONGE]

xiinfaniin;682383 wrote:

So pointing out Aw T's bad habit renders me unqualified to comment on his posts, eh!

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Gabar Amxaaro ah, oon fool xumayn ragguna wada leeyahay baan waa la seexan jirey, oo xattaa jabta igu riday

is, in a nutshell, what good Aw Tusbalxe wrote, and NGONGE is clapping for

. Whether that represents the preface of an aspiring literary writer is a topic I am apparently disqualified to comment on.

Sometimes the story itself does not really matter, it is the way it was told and the (undeniable) fact that you managed to read it from start to finish. Yes, if the story was one where he said "when I was at school, myself and a few friend used to pass around a silly girl by the name of Nitsu", I too, like you, would have shaken my head and asked him to come up with something a tad better than that. But the man is readable, saaxib. And the story has a point (the uncontrolable hormones of teenage boys and girls). If this were your first time, I wouldn't have made my comment but you have been dogging the man for years. Naga daa dee.

 

P.S.

Mr Somalia's story is brilliant too. Mockery at its best (the vulgar use of the word a$$ was a tad tasteless). :D

[Ducaysane]

noolaatay amxaartaasu.

[Pyjamas]

I love stories, so I enjoyed reading yours, but it sounded more like non-fiction.

 

how come there's not enough dialogue?

 

I have a few suggestions, if you don't mind. (Btw I'm an aspiring author, so take my advice with a pinch of salt ;p)

 

I feel there is too much 'telling' and not enough 'showing.' Show us the characters through their actions instead of telling us they did this and that. If someone is noisy let them be noisy. If someone is clever, have them speak intelligently.

 

 

An example of telling and showing:

 

A) Sophie was rich.

 

 

B) A mercedez benz screeched down Weston Road, the car doors opened and three inch high heels stepped out armed with a gucci handbag.

I knew Sophie was back in town.

 

 

Now you tell me, which one is better?

[Abtigiis]

Pyjama, thanks. I don't know about the value of dialogue in story-telling, you don't know about SOL readers. Gheele T is already telling me the story is too long.

 

The fact is I know what you said, and have shown that in thi very forum, but when you want to tell a story with two to three issues and incidents in one page, you will have to do away with too much dialogue and actions. Especially when the objective is for mere entertainment. I will not waste time on such shallow topics if I want to do a good short story. There are plenty of issues, such as the daily killings of my people in Somaligalbeed. I do this silly stories for fun.

[Pyjamas]

I will read your story

 

So don't worry about the length, make it as long as you like.

[Kulmiye]

Great story Abtigiis, perhaps you should share the publishing dates for any upcoming novels:)

[Kamaavi]

Abtigiis;681898 wrote:

God is not the opposite of Satan, Mouse is not the opposite of Cat, and Nitsu is not the opposite of ethical grils. She is only different. And that difference appeals her to some of us, the senisible ones; makes her an enemy of the selfish ones who hide behind false morality to hide their shame and inconsiderate nature!

:D :D

 

Garaad, sheekoyinkadan waa inaad taxane ka dhigto ......

[Abtigiis]

Kamaavi, hadda arintu sheeko way dhaaftay. Waa arin qadiyadeed, qorigaaga soo qaado oo intaad soo nabaadino-xidhato, thread'ka "Xinnfanin' iska xaadiri. Dagaalka toos ha u galin, laakin dhabar-jabin ciidan ah hadaad aragtoo oo hub 'Caano-boodhe' la yidhaa wata, ku biloow. Waa amar! :D

[Kamaavi]

Garaad, maalmahan wakhtigaa igu yar oo waxaa laga yaabaa inaan saas usii joogin laakiin waxaan kuu soo diri dhowr magac oo bug ah ood isticmaali karto markaad dhabarjabin u baahato. Sida kale soo reerahii & tolkii ma fiicna?

[Abtigiis]

Alxamdu-liaah! Waan caafimaad qabnaa, waxaan cyber-budhcad ka aheyn.

[Kamaavi]

@cyber budhcad, Garaad anana Allah mahadii caano boodhihii weli waanu daldalnaa, kii cabdi ladiif ahaa lamaba arko ma tabliiq buu baxay?

[Axmed-InaJaad]

good story brathar, i enjoyed reading it. you have a way with words.

[Bashiir]

Good reading, keep it coming.