student contract

[FARIID]

Oxford University is introducing a legally binding contract for new students to attend lectures. For ages it’s been the norm at universities that lectures were optional and only the most ardent students or ‘nerds’ as they are called theses days attended all lectures. All this will be a thing of the past if Oxford University has its way. Other UK universities are watching closely. What do nomads think, is it right to be forced to attend that boring lecture at nine in the morning on a Monday?

 

Here’s a satirical piece mocking the contract in today’s Guardian G2 supplement.

 

 

Student contract

THE SUDENT warrants that his consumption of narcotic substances (including but not limited to snakebite, marijuana, heroin and Trisha) will remain within survivable parameters, where survivable shall mean ‘without the aid of emergency services’. ‘Emergency services’ shall specifically exclude the self-administered tactical chunder.

 

THE STUDENT contracts to limit the use of the phrases’ blatant cultural imperialism’, “existentialist nightmare†and “God, do you remember Bagpuss?†to between the hours of 10pm and 2am.

 

EASSAY DEADLINES shall be recognised as a fact and not a theoretical construct existing only in the minds of tutors.

 

LASTLY the student shall spend not more than three and not less than one hour a day watching any combination of the following- countdown, better-looking students, his golden youth slipping by.

[Jafarel.]

Who said 9AM lectures were always boring?...

 

Sxb, if you think u can get more out of a nine in the morning boring lecture, attend it. If not, attend the next not boring one ( depending on ur course). If you never have interesting lectures (who does??), then lectures are optional...but then, havent they always been??

 

Does signing such a contract guarantee good grades?....

 

Remember, u can take a horse to the well, but you cant make it drink the water.

 

Upon u be peace...

[Strawberry_Xu]

Uhm, I didn't know lectures were optional, they definitely aren't at my uni. In fact, if you miss more than a couple in the row, you're automatically withdrawn from the course.

[Jamilah]

^^What? So they have a roll, I just started university and I cannot imagine anyone checking up on the hundreds of students who are in my lectures.

[Animal Farm]

It really depends on what sort of class you have, if you are in a seminar with maybe 15 people or so, you are required to attend, because they take attendance and its usually a good portion of your grade, because attendance means, you’ll be able to participate in discussions.

 

You should always attend lectures, because you are paying money, and I have learned from past experiences, always go to lectures --- how else will you learn, if you can teach yourself the material, why even attend university. Learn the material, become a self taught expert, and Xerox a degree, and moved to the Middle East – and remember to change your name to John, Bob, or Smith.

[Miriam1]

Interesting. It would be crazy for me though. I dont miss lectures cause they are boring of all things, just far too many things to do, meet this person, go there, finish this! Sitting down for a 3hr lecture is horrid.

[Lake]

Originally posted by Animal Farm:

You should always attend lectures, because you are paying money, and I have learned from past experiences, always go to lectures --- how else will you learn, if you can teach yourself the material, why even attend university. Learn the material, become a self taught expert, and Xerox a degree, and moved to the Middle East – and remember to change your name to John, Bob, or Smith.

Sometimes others see lectures as a waste of time really. Who wants to be in a class where the Pro is reading to you all the slides as if you can't read when you can get it online?

 

Its simple if you know what you're doing and can afford to miss couple of lectures then so be it. I know alot of people that do well just by coming to the Mid term and Final exams...It really depends on the type of course

[wacdaraha_aduunka]

Fariid where did u get that from because we already have it in Cambridge at lest in my college because they made me sign it before I was admitted or at least as they call it enrolled to the institute of educational equilibrium. ( I laughed when I heard it for the first time).

[Pucca]

Originally posted by Pretty Tone:

Sometimes others see lectures as a waste of time really. Who wants to be in a class where

the Pro is reading to you all the slides as if you can't read when you can get it online?

not all profs put their lectures online and the few that do put them often times will read out their own notes during a lecture, and surprisingly enough the prof will make most of their questions come from their notes. The online lecture might help...but if you're not there to hear the notes ...you'll have a hard time passing the exam.

[Sophist]

The Canbarians never attend lectures-- supervisions (for the oxonian that is tutorials) are must. This is where you learn not only about the subject you are reading but also about the univ culture and what you are expected of. I remember in a Roman Law supervision (the most tediously bore course for the whole Tripos) my then supervisor Hoppo engaged in political set up of the univ.That was the best hour I spent in Roman Law.

 

May be the cowley polly can not longer afford one to one tutorials! oh well get a good fund managers!!!.

 

Wacdaraha Aduunka; which college are you at? I was in Cambridge last weekend for May week. What are you reading there?

 

Oh by the way what is "the institute of educational equilibrium"? that sounds aliens to moi.

[Cawralo]

the everlasting Q..should it or shouldn't it be compulsory..who cares..being at the lectures dont guarentee that ull pass (I know quite a few who drag themselves to 8 o'clock lectures, and still fail)..why this need for a contract..you don't go to school for anybody elses sake but ur own ppl!!

 

I for one wish I could sleep late every morning, instead of waking up at six..walking to school..while it's no sign of the sun and the temperature is well under -25 C But thats life!½