N.O.R.F Posted January 16, 2004 Just an email i recieved, hope u enjoy This American lady, a former radical feminist and Southern Baptist >from Oklahoma, studied the Quran, Sahih Muslim and fifteen other >books on Islam in an attempt to convert the Arabs in her college >class to Christianity and "save those poor ignorant heathens from >the fires of hell." > > > > > > >Aminah Assilmi > > > >The Introduction and Decision >I was completing a degree in Recreation, when I met my first >Muslims. It was the first year that we had been able to pre-register >by computer. I pre-registered and went to Oklahoma to take care of >some family business. The business took longer than expected, so I >returned to school two weeks into the semester (too late to drop a >course). > >I wasn't worried about catching up my missed work. I was sitting at >the top of my class, in my field. Even as a student, I was winning >awards, in competition with professionals. > >Now, you need to understand that while I was attending college and >excelling, ran my own business, and had many close friends, I was >extremely shy. My transcripts actually had me listed as severely >reticent. I was very slow to get to know people and rarely spoke to >anyone unless was forced to, or already knew them. The classes I was >taking has to do administration and city planning, plus programming >for children. Children were the only people I ever felt comfortable >with. > >Well, back to the story. The computer printout held one enormous >surprise for me. I was registered for a Theatre class...a class were >I would be required to perform in front of real live people. I was >horrified! I could not even ask a question in class, how was I going >to get on a stage in front of people? My husband was his usual very >calm and sensible self. He suggested that I talk to the teacher, >explain the problem, and arrange to paint scenery or sew costumes. >The teacher agreed to try and find a way to help me out. So I went >to class the following Tuesday. > >When I entered the classroom, I received my second shock. The class >was full of 'Arabs' and 'camel jockeys'. Well, I had never seen one >but I had heard of them. > >There was no way I was going to sit in a room full of dirty >heathens! After all, you could catch some dreadful disease from >those people. Everyone knew they were dirty, not to be trusted >either. I shut the door and went home. (Now, there is one little >thing you should know. I had on a pair of leather hot pants, a >halter top, and a glass of wine in my hands...but they were the bad >ones in my mind.) > >When I told my husband about the Arabs in the class and that there >was no way I was going back, he responded in his usual calm way. He >reminded that I was always claiming that God had a reason for >everything and maybe I should spend some time thinking about it >before I made my final decision. He also reminded me that I had a >scholars award that was paying my tuition and if I wanted to keep >it, I would have to maintain my G.P.A.. Three credit hours or 'F' >would have destroyed my chances. > >For the next two days, I prayed for guidance. On Thursday I went >back to the class convinced that God had put me there to save those >poor ignorant heathens from the fires of hell. > >I proceeded to explain to them how they would burn in the fires of >hell for all eternity, if they did not accept Jesus as their >personal savior. They were very polite, but did not convert. Then, I >explained how Jesus loved them and had died on the cross to save >them from their sins. All they had to do was accept him into their >hearts. They were very polite, but still did not convert. So, I >decided to read their own book to show them that Islam was a false >religion and Mohammed was a false God. > >One of the students gave me a copy of the Qur'an and another book >about Islam, and I proceeded with my research. I was sure I would >find the evidence I needed very quickly. Well, I read the Qur'an and >the other book. Then I read another 15 books, Sahih Muslim and >returned to the Qur'an. I was determined I would convert them! My >studies continued for the next one and half years. > >During that time, I started having a few problems with my husband. I >was changing, just in little ways but enough to bother him. We used >to go to the bar every Friday and Saturday, or to a party, and I no >longer wanted to go. I was quieter and more distant. He was sure I >was having an affair, so he kicked me out. I moved into an apartment >with my children and continued my determined efforts to convert the >Muslims to Christianity. > >Then, one day, there was a knock on my door. I opened the door and >saw a man in a long white night gown with a red and white checkered >table cloth on his head. He was accompanied by three men in pajamas. >(It was the first time I had ever seen their cultural dress.) Well, >I was more than a little offended by men showing up at my door in >night clothes. What kind of a woman did they think I was? Had they >no pride or dignity? Imagine my shock when the one wearing the table >cloth said he understood I wanted to be a Muslim! I quickly informed >him I did not want to be a Muslim. I was Christian. However, I did >have a few questions. If he had the time.... > >His name was Abdul-Aziz Al-Shiek and he made the time. He was very >patient and discussed every question with me. He never made me feel >silly or that a question was ****** . He asked me if I believed there >was only one God and I said yes. Then he asked if I believed >Mohammed was His Messenger. Again I said yes. He told me that I was >already a Muslim!. > >I argued that I was Christian, I was just trying to understand >Islam. (Inside I was thinking: I couldn't be a Muslim! I was >American and white! What would my husband say? If I am Muslim, I >will have to divorce my husband. My family would die!) > >We continued talking. Later, he explained that attaining knowledge >and understanding of spirituality was a little like climbing a >ladder. If you climb a ladder and try to skip a few rungs, there was >danger of falling. The Shahadah was just the first step on the >ladder. Still we had to talk some more. > >Later that afternoon, May 21, 1977 at Asr', I took Shahadah. >However, there were still some things I could not accept and it was >my nature to be completely truthful so I added a disclaimer. I said: >"I bear witness that there is no god but God and Mohammed is His >Messenger" 'but, I will never cover my hair and if my husband takes >another wife, I will castrate him.' > >I heard gasps from the other men in the room, but Abdul Aziz >silenced them. Later I learned that he told the brothers never to >discuss those two subjects with me. He was sure I would come to the >correct understanding. > >The Shahadah was indeed a solid footing on the ladder to spiritual >knowledge and closeness to God. but it has been a slow climb. Abdul >Aziz continued to visit me and answer my questions. May Allah reward >him for his patience and tolerance. He never admonished me or acted >like a question was ****** or silly. He treated each question with >dignity and told me that the only ****** question was the one never >asked. Hmmm...my grandmother used to say that. > >He explained that Allah has told us to seek knowledge and questions >were one of the ways to accomplish that. When he explained >something, it was like watching a rose open - petal by petal, until >it reached its full glory. When I told him that I did not agree with >something and why, he always said I was correct up to a point. The >he would show me how to look deeper and from different directions to >reach a fuller understanding. Alhamdulillah! > >Over the years, I had many teachers. Each one special, each one >different. I am thankful for each one of them and the knowledge they >gave. Each teacher helped me to grow and to love Islam more. As my >knowledge increased, the changes in me became more apparent. Within >the first year, I was wearing hijab. I have no idea when I started. >It came naturally, with increased knowledge and understanding. In >time, I even came to a proponent of polygamy.. I knew that if Allah >had allowed it, there had to be something good in it. > >"Glorify the name of thy Guardian - Lord Most High, Who hath >created, and further, given order and proportion; Who hath measured, >and granted guidance; and Who bringeth out the (green and lush) >pasture, and doth make it (but) swarthy stubble, By degrees shall We >teach thee (The Message), so thou shalt not forget, except as Allah >wills: for He knoweth what is manifest and what is hidden. And We >will make it easy for thee (to follow) the simple (path)." (Al-A'la >87:1-8) > >When I first started to study Islam, I did not expect to find >anything that I needed or wanted in my personal life. Little did I >know that Islam would change my life. No human could have ever >convinced me that I would finally be at peace and overflowing with >love and joy because of Islam. > >This book spoke of THE ONE GOD, THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. It >described the beautiful way in which He had organised the world. >This wondrous Qur'an had all the answers, just you need a little >interest. Allah is The Loving! Allah is the Source of Peace! Allah >is the Protector! Allah is the Forgiver! Allah is the Provider! >Allah is the maintainer! Allah is the Generous One! Allah is the >Responsive! Allah is the Protecting Friend! Allah is the Expander! > >"Have we not expanded thee thy breast? And removed from thee thy >burden the which did gall thy back? And raised high the esteem (in >which) thou (art held)? So, verily, with every difficulty, there is >relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief!" (Al-Ishirah, >94: 1-6) > >The Qur'an addressed all the issues of existence and showed a clear >path to success. It was like a map forgiving, an owner manual for >whole life! > >How Islam changed my Life >"How much more we love the light...If once we lived in Darkness." > >When I first embraced Islam, I really did not think it was going to >affect my life very much. Islam did not just affect my life. It >totally changed it. > >Family life: My husband and I loved each other very deeply. That >love for each other still exists. Still, when I started studying >Islam, we started having some difficulties. He saw me changing and >did not understand what was happening. Neither did I. But then, I >did not even realise I was changing. He decided that the only thing >that could make me change was another man. There was no way to make >him understand what was changing me because I did not know. > >After I realised that I was a Muslim, it did not help matters. After >all... the only reason a woman changes something as fundamental as >her religion is another man. He could not find evidence of this >other man...but he had to exist. We ended up in a very ugly divorce. >The courts determined that the unorthodox religion would be >detrimental to the development of my children. So they were removed >from my custody. > >During the divorce, there was a time when I was told I could make a >choice. I could renounce this religion and leave with my children, >or renounce my children and leave with my religion. I was in shock. >To me this was not a possible choice. If I renounce my Islam....I >would be teaching my children how to be deceptive. For there was no >way to deny what was in my heart. I could not deny Allah, not then, >not ever. I prayed like I had never prayed before. After the thirty >minutes was up, I knew that there was no safer place for my children >to be than in the hands of Allah. If I denied him, there would be no >way in the future to show my children the wonders of being with >Allah. The courts were told that I would leave my children in the >hands of Allah. This was not a rejection of my children! > >I left the courts knowing that life without my babies would be very >difficult. My heart bled, even though I knew, inside, I had done the >right thing. I found solace in Ayat-Ul-Khursi. > >"Allah! There is no god but He - the Living, the Self-subsisting, >Supporter of all. No slumber can seize him nor sleep. His are all >things in the heavens and on earth. Who is there can intercede in >His presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth to >His creatures as) Before or After or Behind them. Nor shall they >compass aught of His knowledge except as He willeth. His Throne doth >extend over the heavens and the earth, and he feeleth no fatigue in >guarding and preserving them for He is Most High, The Supreme (in >Glory)." (Al-Baqarah, 2:255) > >This also got me started looking at all the attributes of Allah and >discovering the beauty of each one. > >Child custody and divorce were not the only problems I was to face. >The rest of my family was not very accepting of my choice either. >Most of the family refused to have anything to do with me. My mother >was of the belief that it was just a phase and I would grow out of >it. My sister, the 'mental health expert' was sure I had simply lost >my mind and should be institutionalised. My father believed I should >be killed before placed myself deeper in Hell. Suddenly I found >myself with no husband and no family. What would be next? > >Friends: Most of my friends drifted away during that first year. I >was no fun anymore. I did not want to go to parties or bars. I was >not interested in finding a boyfriend. All I ever did was read that >'****** ' book (the Qur'an) and talk about Islam. What a bore. I >still did not have enough knowledge to help them understand why >Islam was so beautiful. > >Employment: My job was next to go. While I had won just about every >award there was in my field and was recognised as a serious trend >setter and money maker, the day I put on hijab, was the end of my >job. Now I was without a family, without friends and without a job. > >End of Test period: In all this, the first light was my grandmother. >She approved of my choice and joined me. What a surprise! I always >knew she had alot of wisdom, but this! She died soon after that. >When I stop to think about it, I almost get jealous. The day she >pronounced Shahadah, all her misdeeds had been erased, while her >good deeds were preserved. She died so soon after accepting Islam >that I knew her 'BOOK' was bound to be heavy on the good side. It >fills me with such joy! > >As my knowledge grew and I was better able to answer questions, many >things changed. But, it was the changes made in me as a person that >had the greatest impact. A few years after I went public with my >Islam, my mother called me and said she did not know what this >'Islam thing' was, but she hoped I would stay with it. She liked >what it was doing for me. A couple of years after that she called >again and asked what a person had to do to be a Muslim. I told her >that all person had to do was know that there was only ONE God and >Mohammed was His Messenger. Her response was: "Any fool knows that. >But what do you have to do?" I repeated the same information and she >said: "Well...OK. But let's not tell your father just yet." > >Little did she know that he had gone through the same conversation a >few weeks before that. My real father (the one who thought I should >be killed) had done it almost two months earlier. Then, my sister, >the mental health person, she told me that I was the most >'liberated' person she knew. Coming from her that was the greatest >compliment I could have received. > >Rather than try to tell you about how each person came to accept >Islam, let me simply say that more members of my family continue to >find Islam every year. I was especially happy when a dear friends, >Brother Qaiser Imam, told me that my ex-husband took Shahdah. When >Brother Qaiser asked him why, he said it was because he had been >watching me for 16 years and he wanted his daughter to have what I >had. He came and asked me to forgive him for all he had done. I had >forgiven him long before that. > >Now my oldest son, Whittney, has called, as I am writing this book, >and announced that he also wants to become Muslim. He plans on >taking the Shahadah as the ISNA Convention in a couple of weeks. For >now, he is learning as much as he can. Allah is The Most Merciful. > >Over the years, I have come to be known for my talks on Islam, and >many listeners have chosen to be Muslim. My inner peace has >continued to increase with my knowledge and confidence in the Wisdom >of Allah. I know that Allah is not only my Creator but, my dearest >friend. I know that Allah will always be there and will never reject >me. For every step I take toward Allah, He takes 10 toward me. What >a wonderful knowledge. > >True, Allah has tested me, as was promised, and rewarded me far >beyond what I could ever have hoped for. A few years ago, the >doctors told me I had cancer and it was terminal. They explained >that there was no cure, it was too far advanced, and proceeded to >help prepare me for my death by explaining how the disease would >progress. I had maybe one year left to live. I was concerned about >my children, especially my youngest. Who would take care of him? >Still I was not depressed. I know my Allah is there for him too, and >for everybody. We must all die. I was confident that the pain I was >experiencing contained Blessings. > >I remembered a good friend, Kareem Al-Misawi, who died of cancer >when he was still in his 20's. Shortly before he died, he told me >that Allah was truly Merciful. This man was in unbelievable anguish >and radiating with Allah's love. He said: "Allah intends that I >should enter heaven with a clean book." His death experience gave me >something to think about. He taught me of Allah's love and mercy. >This was something no one else had ever really discussed. Allah's >love! > >I did not take me long to start being aware of His blessings. >Friends who loved me came out of nowhere. I was given the gift of >making Hag (Hajj). Even more importantly, I learned how very >important it was for me to share the Truth of Islam with everyone. >It did not matter if people, Muslim or not, agreed with me or even >liked me. The only approval I needed was from Allah. The only love I >needed was from Allah. Yet, I discovered more and more people, who >for no apparent reason, loved me. I rejoiced, for I remembered >reading that if Allah loves you, He causes others to love you. I am >not worthy of all the love. That means it must be another gift from >Allah. Allah is the Greatest! > >There is no way to fully explain how my life changed. Alhamdulillah! >I am so very glad that I am a Muslim. Islam is my life. Islam is the >beat of my heart. Islam is the blood that courses through my veins. >Islam is my strength. Islam is my life so wonderful and beautiful. >Without Islam, I am nothing and should Allah ever turn His >magnificent face from me I could not survive. > >"O Allah! let my heart have light (NOOR), and my sight have light, >and my hearing (senses) have light, and let me have light on my >right, and let me have light on my left, and let me have light above >me, and have light under me, and have light in front of me, and have >light behind me; and let me have light." (Bukhari, vol. 8. pp. 221, >#329) > >"Oh my Lord! Forgive my sins and my ignorance and my exceeding the >limits (boundaries of righteousness) in all my deeds and what you >know better than I. O Allah! Forgive my mistakes, those done >intentionally or out of my ignorance or (without) or with >seriousness, and I confess that all such mistakes are done by me. Oh >Allah! Forgive my sins of the past and of the future which I did >openly or secretly. You are the One who makes the things go before, >and You are the One who delays them, and You are the Omnipotent." >(Bukhari, vol. , pp. 271, #407) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
