Finding a spouse Islamically

[Aaliyyah]

Asalaamu alaikum

Cambaro sister your idea does serve its purpose of brining those who cant find suitable partners in where they are. However, our culture is too strong and a girl looking for a man through some Islamic organization does certainly sound desperate from cultural perspective. Honestly, from my perspective, it doesn’t matter where you meet a man as long as he is the one you were looking for . By the way, you are right it is hard to find a man who really practices Islam the way he should be , but tell yr friends don’t give up. On top of that I am sure you guys can work with the farahs who are available, maybe preach them on the 1st date and the 2nd and the third lol eventually they will become practicing Muslims

Wa salaam

[Ms DD]

Assaalamu aleykum

 

Many to reply to: Here we go:

 

Mr.Faarax

 

The masjids cater for all muslims and not just somalis. I know for a fact that sisters are openminded to put themselves on the masjid list but the propblem with this is that not many somali men register.

 

S.O.S

 

"it's the responsibility of the family and relatives of the sister, and to be precise, it's the sole responsibility of her mahrems to find her a suitable husband."

 

I agree with this but it doesnt translate into reality in our community unlike the Asians.

 

 

TenaciousSoul

 

"y cant we be happy being single"

 

Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved institutions. Can i remind you the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (saw). The Messenger of Allah (saw) declared, "There is no monasticism in Islam." He further ordained: "O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty." (Al-Bukhari)

Marriage in Islam is important for the functioning of the family so that both spouses can live together in love, security, and tranquility.

 

Divorce is hated by Allah. Therefore we need to put our trust in Allah and choose our partners wisely. Nothing is smooth in life so the art of compromising is necessary.

 

rudy

 

"cambarro u aint looking for true somali dude! why front!.....how come every xalimo who utters these words has an undercover agenda to marry a loser foreigner"

 

I am happily married to a somali brother Alhamdulilaah. I honestly feel that a somali men would understand a somali women and vice versa. Many ladies who married to non-somalis told me themselves that if they had to marry again, they would have married a somali man.

 

"so as somali, u shouldnt have no problems looking into your society finding your mate! as your parent did! "

 

Different time to our parents, dont you think? Back home, it was so easy but not anymore.

 

Khalaf

 

See above

 

Sharmarkee

 

"The women can change that Non-practising for better"

 

Too much of a risk there. Only Allah guides. We can give naseeha to them but we cant make them pray or stop them eating Qat.

 

 

To these i didnt reply to, it means i agree with you

[RendezVous]

Originally posted by Cambarro:

Assaalamu aleykum

 

TenaciousSoul: "y cant we be happy being single"

Cambaro: Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved institutions.

 

Divorce is hated by Allah. Therefore we need to put our trust in Allah and choose our partners wisely. Nothing is smooth in life so the art of compromising is necessary.

BUT Many ladies who married to non-somalis told me themselves that if they had to marry again, they would have married a somali man.

 

Originally posted by Khalaf:

^^^^

In Germany this summer I met a white brother from Denmark guess what had already divorced two sistas, and on his third wife!!!!!!! Some of our women are cheap walaalhi….

BUT even my religious moms was like why would she marry an outsider who alreadly divorced two somaali woman-something gotta be wrong with the dude.

 

Somali ladies, beware..The world outside has noticed, you are Just toooooo cheap But why?

 

Cambaro REAL status however :cool: :cool:

"I am happily married to a somali brother Alhamdulilaah. I honestly feel that a somali men would understand a somali women and vice versa.

[- Femme -]

I'm so sick of this double standard.

 

In Germany this summer I met a white brother from Denmark guess what had already divorced two sistas, and on his third wife!!!!!!! Some of our women are cheap walaalhi….

Somali ladies, beware..The world outside has noticed, you are Just toooooo cheap But why?

But a Somali woman who marries a Somali man who divorced 14,000 women (so very common) isn't cheap?

 

And what the hell do ya'll mean by cheap?

[-Serenity-]

^ They are silly little boys with af-dheer. :rolleyes:

[islamtoday]

first of all salam to all..

 

i didn't read all the nice articles here,, but from what i have read,, some of our bros/sis were encourging single life... using ice and having to stop watching romantic movies is not gonna cut it... 'cause the minute u step out of the house u r in romantic world if u guys know what i mean.. specially those of us who live this part of the world (west).....'cause there is a reason Allah SWA created men and women, plus the prophet SAW encouraged us to marry and have children so he can be proud of us the day of judgemet....so marrying is something we need to do if we are able to if we love and follow our prophets way...SAW

 

as for finding the right man,, ASW says in the qur'an "And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to him , He will make a way for him to get out(from every difficulty)"..... so fear of Allah SWA is the key to success, wheather it is finding the right person or other difficulties we face in life...

 

the other thing is that our girls marring new converts,, nothing wrong with that,, specially if they understand each other and both of them are god fearing ppl...

 

but for our girls to say they have better diin than the rest of the somali boys,, is not right... i think what they don't want to say is that they are more "romantic" 'cause of their background....

 

wasalam....

[RendezVous]

Originally posted by Amelia:

^ They are silly little boys with af-dheer. :rolleyes:

Cheap as in "Easy" to take them for rides...They call them Somali ladies( Easy and cheap..I don't understand what they mean)... but am sorry but you need to improve your ratings

[bilan]

^^ who calls them, the only one i hear from that phrase are somali boys(sorry can't call them men) who ever somali women decides to marry is not your problem unless she's your sister or daughter,shaqo la'aan badanaa dadkaan :rolleyes:

[Khalaf]

^^^^We are not “boys†my sister but your brothers. men of your nation marka respect us and be dutiful to us as women of other nations such as arab and indian women are dutiful to the men of their nation.

 

you women cant c where we are coming from- its about honor and duty. I don’t view only the women I share blood with to be my sisters but those I share a common history, a culture, a language with…all Somali women are sisters….thus I care and I dont want our sisters to be cheap but to be expensive women with honor and pride. A cheap woman will take anything for the right price but an expensive- honorable woman is not about the price but the quality, the history, the future.

 

Some of our women are cheap u c them with nigarians, jamicans, whites-yes be Muslim but still with their culture and they tell us…..my Somali woman is this and that. They come to us and ask us if a sister is available. What? How ee haweys san’kara a Somali woman but never an arab woman for example? Cause they think they cheap! Why some of these women give precedence to an outsider who can shame her and discuss her business in public to a brother who would fight for her honor? Cause they cheap!

[Naden]

Originally posted by RendezVous:

Cheap as in "Easy" to take them for rides...They call them Somali ladies( Easy and cheap..I don't understand what they mean)...

but am sorry but you need to improve your ratings

Originally posted by Khalaf:

Why some of these women give precedence to an outsider who can shame her and discuss her business in public to a brother who would fight for her honor? Cause they cheap!

For men quick to defend Islam at every corner, you sure do lack the common adaab of expression it encourages.

[Khalaf]

For a women who is quick to question the principles of Islam such as Hadith of our noble Prophet…you sure do lack sincerity in telling me about proper adaab and what is encouraged in the faith. But advice is advice and I change if I am wrong….but I said nothing which is contrary to Islam. Excuse us for wanting higher standards for our women!

[Naden]

^ Never mind the higher standards for women, demand them of yourselves, brother.

[Khalaf]

^^^^I do have high standards....I am a Muslim. Tell me what I said which is contary to that then?

[RendezVous]

Originally posted by Naden:

quote:Originally posted by RendezVous:

Cheap as in "Easy" to take them for rides...They call them Somali ladies( Easy and cheap..I don't understand what they mean)...

but am sorry but you need to improve your ratings

Originally posted by Khalaf:

Why some of these women give precedence to an outsider who can shame her and discuss her business in public to a brother who would fight for her honor? Cause they cheap!

For

men

quick to defend Islam at every corner, you sure do lack the common adaab of expression it encourages.

We are still talking about Islam and Aadab...If them ladies and men do follow Islam...They would surely be the opposite... Unless offcourse, you are speaking of a different Islam altogether

[Valenteenah.]

If a Somali woman marries a non-Somali she is cheap? Is that where we are at, Khalaf? Your insecurities are showing.