NEVER MIND THE BALLACKS!

[Viking]

A furious row has erupted between World Cup favourites Brazil and the Netherlands as Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink was confirmed as the biggest name in world football with a total of 23 letters.

 

But while Vennegoor of Hesselink was presented with a plaque to commemorate his achievement, FIFA received a complaint from the Brazilian FA that their players' full names had not been taken into account.

 

Juninho Pernambucano falls just short with 19 letters, though if his full birth name - Antônio Augusto Ribeiro Reis Junior - were taken into account, he would emerge the clear winner. But governing body FIFA are refusing to listen.

 

"While we understand the complaints of the Brazilians, we can't really be bothered to do anything about it," said FIFA director of communications Markus Siegler, sipping a glass of champagne at headquarters in Zurich. "With any luck, the matter will soon blow over."

 

SAUDIS EYE REWARD

 

While it emerged that Saudi Arabia will give a 600,000 riyal reward - 130,000 euros - to each player if they make it through to the last 16 of the World Cup in Germany, players are said to be unsure of what currency they shall be paid in.

 

While veteran striker Sami al-Jaber was hoping the sum would be paid in US Dollars, rumours are circulating of a prize of 600,000 riyals worth of camels being handed to each player. Camels cost around 3000 riyals each in the gulf state, which would mean each player being landed with 200 humped-back beasts should they progress from the group stages. Incentive indeed.

 

 

ALEX LEFT IN THE DARK

 

Japan's Brazilian-born defender Alex was left guessing as to the contents of a speech given to the Japanese team by the country's soccer chief.

 

"I was wondering what he was talking about," said the 28-year-old."I had to ask interpreter Suzuki-san what he was going on about."

 

After having lived in the land of the rising sun for a mere 11 years, it would be unreasonable to expect him to have already grasped the country's language. Maybe David Beckham's detractors should take a step back.

 

All content is entirely fictional.

 

Source

[Urban]

lol 200 camels! what if they reached the Semi's? 300 camels and 200 goats?

 

i thought all that stuff was real till i read the ' All content is entirely fictional.'

[-Nomadique-]

^^^ Pretty funny, I distinctly remember going through the list of the Japanese squad. It went a little like this...

 

Coach Zico

 

Goal Keepers

23. Yoshikatsu Kawaguchi

12. Yoichi Doi

1. Seigo Narazaki

 

Forwards

13. Atsushi Yanagisawa

9. Naohiro Takahara

16. Masashi Oguro

20. Keiji Tamada

11. Seiichiro Maki

 

Midfielders

7. Hidetoshi Nakata

10. Shunsuke Nakamura

18. Shinji Ono

17. Junichi Inamoto

6. Koji Nakata

15. Takashi Fukunishi

8. Mitsuo Ogasawara

4. Yusuhito Endo

 

 

Defenders

5. Tsuneyasu Miyamoto

14. Allesandro Santos <--------------- What the????

22. Yuiji Nakazawa

2. Makoto Tanaka

21. Akira Kaji

19. Keisuke Tsuboi

3. Yuichi Komano

[Viking]

Some of the Japanese names are funny, they mean something in Swahili...

 

9. Takahara - I want to take a dump!

 

7. Nakata - I'm cutting

 

17. Inamoto - It has fire

[Viking]

 

The United States - the land of the free and home of the pot-bellied 'soccer' fan - unveil a masterplan to defeat Italy; Croatia call up new talent after their defeat to Brazil as they bid to escape from Group F; and one Sweden fan narrowly avoids divorce court proceedings.

 

'I HAVE A CUNNING PLAN'

America is well-known for its bluff, bluster and invasions around the globe, and it seems their 'soccer' team is keen to toe the military line.

 

Striker Eddie Johnson sounded a battle-cry with a less-than-PC "It's like the World Cup, we're here for war," before politely being reminded that this was the World Cup.

 

Then Bruce 'Amsterdam' ArenA shipped his troops off to the US air base at Ramstein for last-minute manoeuvres before midfield general Claudio Reyna and company go over the top against Italy on Saturday.

 

And after their 3-0 surrender to the Czech Republic in their opening Group E battle, it seems the only coach at the World Cup named after a football ground has learned his lesson.

 

"We will have a tactic but we will not go with the 3-nil loss game plan," said ArenA, who will be doing a one-man stand-up show for the next two group games only.

 

"We threw that page away after the game and we are going to try and come-up with another one."

 

'HE CAN BEAT A MAN'

Croatia boss Zlatko Kranjcar is set to demand special FIFA dispensation to draft a player into his squad after an anonymous youngster's short but sweet display against Brazil on Tuesday.

 

The unnamed fan impressed during his short spell on the Berlin Olympic Stadium's turf with his pace and elusive running skills as he dodged security to pay homage to Croat messiah Dado Prso.

 

 

"We condemn this act and we will investigate it," said Gerd Graus of the local organising committee. "But we have to say that this young man from Croatia has pretty good athletic skills.

 

"He overcame a 2 metre wide moat and had to overcome a certain height as well. So, I think he is a natural born athlete.

 

"We could not have imagined some one would have been able to break through because we thought the moats in Berlin were extremely good protection against such incidents."

 

HOME, SWEDE HOME

Sweden fan Janne Pettersson woke up in a sweat, went to see the doctor who told him "You've got World Cup fever."

 

But despite medication being prescribed, Mr Pettersson became delirious after his side's goalless draw with Trinidad & Tobago and painted his house blue and yellow.

 

"I knew she would say no, so there was no point in asking her about it," said a cunning Petterson, who did the deed on his two-story house in a Stockholm suburb while Mrs P was at work. "It was really fun to see her face when she got home."

 

But the kind-hearted Mrs P brushed off a potentially divorce-inducing stunt, saying her Picasso-esque hubby could keep his 'masterpiece' as long as Sweden stay in the tournament - so just over a week of shame left.

 

Source.