Rehab in Baidoa? Exclusive report by Sheikh Fiqqikhayyre!

[Fiqikhayre]

Folks, I don't understand why all the former Mogadishu warlords have been taken to Baidoa! From Caato, Yalaxow, Qanyare and other notorious warlords have been put in the dock for some rehab! However I will try my best to find out for you. I shall report about their different day to day activities inshallaah!

 

Important documents found by me, Sheikh Fiqqikhayyre have found some interesting facts about the rehab programme for former warlords in Baidoa!

 

According to SOL exclusives reporter and correspondent to the new rehab programme for former warlords in Somalia, has found some interesting new insights about the schedule and programme of the rehab in Baidoa!

 

It includes the following:

 

1. Wake up in the moring at 7:00am local time!

 

2. Breakfast ala continental style with some rolls, muesli, bread or preferably canjeero with jam, butter and honey! One glass of squeezed oranges rich in Vitamin C!

 

3. After Breakfast, they come into class and subsequently they're put into groups! Trouble-makers and practical jokers are not allowed to sit together! So it means Qanyare and Yalaxow can't sit together at all, big Mohamed Dheere must be put in between them!

 

4. They will draw pictures and posters and talk about their 'fears'! Siminars include discussions, talking points and focusing on different tasks!

 

5. Anger managment classes and then up to break!

 

6. One hour break, the groups have to walk to the playing field/school plarying yard in pairs, whilst holding hands! Qanyare and Yalahow always lead the pack and hold hands!

 

7. Football time! Playing hide and seek in the bushes around the school yard! Some of the more stronger boys go around stealing from other vulnerable less stronger ones!

 

8. Back to class and assignments! Today Yalahow had to submit a report on his summer holiday to Malaysia. He was talking very enthuasiacally about the high-sky-scrapers and tall buildings! He compared it to 10 Mohamed Dheeres put on top of each other!

 

9. Priavte discussions on the progress of the individuals attending this rehap course!

 

10. Anger managment classes!

 

11. Ding Dong Ding, School is finished and out they come. Yalahow always the first out! Mohamed Dheere pushes Qanyare to a side and a fight breaks out! Qanyare get's beaten! The security is called and teachers have put the two into detention for tommorrow. But Qanyare and Dheere have both secretly agreed to skip tommorrows lesson inshallaah and instead hang around in the local shopping area of Baidoa!

 

12. Tea drinking and Girl chasing time!

 

13. TV time! Qanyare fights with Yalahow about what to watch. Qanyare wants to watch a soap opera he loves and makes him cry, whilst Yalahow and others want to watch a 'gangster movie' shot in the 1930's somewhere in Chicago!

 

14. Head of rehab center switches the TV off as it is time for sleeping, but none of the bullies want to go to sleep yet, they want to be allowed to stay up for at least another half an hour until 21:30!

 

15. Security is called and each is forcefully taken to his resting room! Where there are many educational books for entertainment, but Dheere used the books for drawing his amazing graffiti on it! Whilst Yalahow chewed on them, thinking they were 'eatable'! Qanyare read some passages out of it and then used the book as an 'pillow'!

 

16. The light is turned off, warlords are wished a 'silent' sleep and door shuts!

 

17. Problem arises due to Caato sneaking out of his room into the lounge to watch TV late at night, however he is caught and taken back to his room!

 

18. All warlords are sleeping happily like a harmless baby ought to be! For people who have committed so many vile atrocities they really do sleep very calm! I guess the rehab programme is working!

 

Sheikh Fiqqikhayyre SOL's exclusive correspondent to the former warlord's rehab center in Baidoa!

[Taako Man]

8. Back to class and assignments! Today Yalahow had to submit a report on his summer holiday to Malaysia. He was talking very enthuasiacally about the high-sky-scrapers and tall buildings! He compared it to 10 Mohamed Dheeres put on top of each other!

[Che -Guevara]

Aflagaadada hala joojiyo

[General Duke]

Its quite amusing, indeed.

1. Wake up in the moring at 7:00am local time!

 

2. Breakfast ala continental style with some rolls, muesli, bread or preferably canjeero with jam, butter and honey! One glass of squeezed oranges rich in Vitamin C!

 

3. After Breakfast, they come into class and subsequently they're put into groups! Trouble-makers and practical jokers are not allowed to sit together! So it means Qanyare and Yalaxow can't sit together at all, big Mohamed Dheere must be put in between them!

[Faarax-Brawn]

A mind[Of a doorknob] is a terrible thing to have,Indeed.

[ANWAR]

 

HE HE HE