Viking Posted May 3, 2006 I saw this rather funny piece on another forum and thought I should share it with the hooligans of this section. To all and more seriously ladies from age 0-1001! Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women of this world) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year... List Of Rules. 1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention. 2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye). 3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month. 4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen. 5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day. 6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce. 7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together". 8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times. 9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that require my attendance because: a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go. 10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash. 11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list". 12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc. Thank you for your cooperation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SeeKer Posted May 7, 2006 Originally posted by Viking: Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me Lmao if that were true for everyone Can't wait the world cup this year. The whole football family is together again and there will be plenty of screaming and cussing come June 6th. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted May 7, 2006 you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day Bring it on! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Libaax-Sankataabte Posted May 7, 2006 8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times. You heard it babe. You heard! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nephissa Posted May 8, 2006 Men! What a bunch of cry babies! Waxan soccer jacayl maaha, waa waali. You couch potato fans just make me laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
facklexm Posted May 8, 2006 Don’t go work for whole month. Buy your own TV. Set your alarm clocks to kick-off time Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted May 8, 2006 Such a mean list. :mad: I'm actually looking forward to the WC... :cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Intel Posted May 9, 2006 and i want a chick just like you Ahura #7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Khayr Posted May 9, 2006 7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together". and only One Game (and that game can't be the FINAL) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted May 9, 2006 Originally posted by rokko: and i want a chick just like you Ahura You and me both. I have always wanted to have my own chicken coop, you know? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Socod_badne Posted May 9, 2006 ^^Be nice! Originally posted by Viking: 5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on , I can't object to that... can hardly wait for the WC Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SJ Posted May 10, 2006 hooligans waa rageedii!... all you football fans ought to print the rules and post in the living room. furthermore u should hold orientations to make the rules crystal clear. i'm not much of a soccer fan but this is the only time to see an african team on tv. so bring on the wc.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Intel Posted May 11, 2006 Originally posted by Valenteenah: You and me both. I have always wanted to have my own chicken coop, you know? jolly good Ahura, it shall be built...one big enough to breed our own chicks and rooster..6 waa caadioos yeah? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted May 11, 2006 ^ Make it two dozen and we may have something. Free range, of course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Intel Posted May 12, 2006 okay... 24 is very doable on my part... :cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
