*Guidance for the Muslim Wife*

[Muna_muslimah222]

Guidance for the Muslim Wife

 

 

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SAYINGS OF RASULULLAH (SALLALLAHU ALAIHI WA AALIHI WA SALLAM)

 

Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi was extremely merciful upon the

ummah. He said "You all are about to fall into the fire and I am

holding your backs and preventing you from falling into it".

Rasulullah's Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi favour upon the ummat was

that he showed men and women the way to lead their lives. Here are a

few Ahaadith advising women:

 

HADEETH 1. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi said that the

woman who performed her five daily prayers and kept the fast of

Ramadan and protected herself from evil acts i.e. adultery and obeyed

her husband, has a choice to enter heaven from whichever door she

pleases. (HULYA)

 

HADEETH 2. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wa sallam said: " A woman

has two veils: the first is the husband and the second is the grave.

The one that conceals more is the grave." (TABRANI)

 

HADEETH 3. Nabi Kareem Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wa sallam said: "A religious

widow is addressed as a martyr in the heavens" i.e. she is remembered

with the honourable title of a martyr in heaven for any act she

performs.

 

HADEETH 4. Ibn Abbas Radhiallahu anhu narrates that a woman came to

Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wa sallam and said: "I have come as a

representative of all women. We want to present a petition to you.

Jihaad is fardh (compulsory) on men and only they obtain the reward

of martyrdom. We women are deprived of it although we take

responsibility for all their domestic affairs". Rasulullah

Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "Convey this message on my behalf to

all the women that they can achieve the reward of jihaad by obeying

their husbands, but very few women consider this to be a reward."

 

HADEETH 5. It is reported from Hazrat Ibn Umar Radhiallahu Anhu that

Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said that when a woman leaves

her home without her husband's consent then all the angels of the

skies and the entire universe curse her for this act until she

returns home. (TABRANI).

 

HADEETH 6. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aailihi Wasallam said that the

fragrance of heaven will be forbidden for a woman who asks her

husband for divorce without any valid reason. (TIRMIZI)

 

HADEETH 7. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said that if a

woman died and her husband was pleased with her during her life,

undoubtedly she has entered heaven.

 

HADEETH 8. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "O woman,

your heaven and hell is your husband" (i.e. a woman will enter heaven

if the husband is pleased, and hell if he is displeased with her).

(TARGEEB)

 

HADEETH 9. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said that the best

woman is the one that pleases her husband. When he looks at her, she

pleases him. When he commands her, she obeys him. When he absents

himself (goes away on a journey etc.) she protects his wealth and

his honour. (BAIHAQI)

 

HADEETH 10. The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said

that Shaytaan (the devil) sits on his throne daily and dispatches his

agents to work among human beings. One of the agents returns and says

that I made a certain person commit a sin, another says I got so and

so involved in this offence. Upon listening to all this Shaytaan says

that you have done nothing great. Eventually one representative comes

and says that I saw a husband and wife extremely devoted to each

other. I sowed the seeds of enmity between them. On hearing this

Shaytaan becomes happy and embracing his agent says that you have

achieved something great. (MISHKAT)

 

The love between husband and wife is the biggest blow to Shaytaan.

From this it is apparent how meritorious this love is.

 

HADEETH 11. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: The woman

who applies perfume and passes by men is an adulteress. (TIRMIZI).

 

Today the woman who applies perfume and goes to the shopping centres,

alleys and cinemas should ponder how grave a sin she is committing.

 

HADEETH 12. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "Once I saw

a ghair mahram (strange) man and a young woman together in a place.

Consequently I had a strong fear that Shaytaan will make use of this

opportunity i.e. he will besmirch their character and destroy the

honour of the woman.

 

HADEETH 13. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: Keep

yourselves away from strange women. One companion asked: "O Rasul of

Allah, tell me, can the husband's brother mix freely with his sister-

in-law. "Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam replied : "He is like

death for a woman." (Bukhari and Muslim)

 

i.e. just as partaking of poison leads to death in this world,

similarly the brother-in-law's mixing with a woman is poison for

their character and a cause of destruction of the life of the

hereafter.

 

HADEETH 14. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "It is haram

for the women of my Ummah to take a bath in the public baths".

(HAKIM)

 

i.e. women should keep away from places which are frequented by

ghair mahram (strange) males. What purpose do they have in a place

frequented by males?

 

HADEETH 15. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam) said: Whichever

woman applies scent should not join us for the Esha prayers. (ABU

DAWOOD)

 

During the early Islamic era, women used to perform salaat behind

Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam in congregation. On that

occasion Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "Those women who

apply perfume should not come to the musjid for salaat," because

there is a fear of instilling desire in the hearts of men due to the

sweet fragrance of the perfume and this will be a cause of

corruption. If Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam prevented women

who applied perfume from attending the musjid during his noble era,

there will be a greater need for precaution in this age of corruption.

 

HADEETH 16. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "The woman

who boastfully parades in front of males after adorning herself is

like the darkness of Qiyamat."

 

HADEETH 17. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "A woman

whose 3 children die in infancy or before reaching the age of puberty

and who bears the loss with patience, hoping for reward will most

certainly enter heaven. (MISHKAT)

 

Therefore if we are confronted with such a calamity, we should have

patience and forbearance. To wail and mourn is not the habit of a

Muslim wife. It (the child) was the property of Allah which He took

back. However, it is not sinful to shed tears.

 

HADEETH 18. Nabi Kareem Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "The best

women of my ummah are those that are beautiful and whose dowry is

less". (Dailami)

 

What wisdom is there in unnecessarily burdening the husband with an

extravagant dowry especially if he cannot afford it? The success of

the marriage is the mutual love of the partners which cannot be

purchased by wealth.

 

HADEETH 19. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: Whoever

consoled a woman that lost her child will be given the clothes of

Paradise to wear. (MISHKAT)

 

i.e. when you go to offer your condolences to a woman who lost her

child, do not join her in wailing and crying. On the contrary, speak

to her in such a manner so as to induce patience in her. Allah has

promised a person who does this the garments of Jannah.

 

HADEETH 20. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said that Allah

Subhanahu Taala says "Sight is a poisonous arrow of the devil.

Whosoever, whether male or female protects himself or herself from

evil glances will be granted a sweet Iman (faith) which will please

his/her heart."(TABRANI)

 

The disease of glancing at men without regarding it as sinful is

common among women. This can occur even though they (the woman) may

be fully concealed. The arrow of Shaytaan works discreetly.

 

HADEETH 21. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "The worst

person on the day of Qiyamah will be the one who reveals the private

life of his wife to others." (Muslim)

 

Similarly some women have the habit of revealing their private

matters to their friends. This is a major sin which should be

abstained from.

 

HADEETH 22. Nabi Kareem Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "When a

husband calls his wife at night to have relations with her and she

refuses without a valid Shari reason, she is cursed throughout the

night by the angels." (BUKHARI)

 

HADEETH 23. Nabi Kareem Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: There are

3 persons whose salaah is not accepted nor does any good act of

theirs reach the sky. Firstly, a runaway slave until he returns to

his master. Secondly, a woman whose husband is displeased with her

and thirdly an intoxicated person as long as he does not repent from

using intoxicants. (BAIHAQI)

 

Imagine how serious it is to displease the husband that the wife's

salaah is not accepted nor any other good deed of hers.

 

HADEETH 24. Hadhrat Aisha Radhiallahu Anha says that Rasulullah

Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam was sitting amongst the Muhajireen and

Ansaar when a camel came and prostrated before him. Upon this the

Sahaaba Radhiallahu Anhum said "O Prophet of Allah, if the animals

and trees prostrate to you, then we have more rights to prostrate to

you." On hearing this Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam

said "Worship your Sustainer and honour me. Had I given the command

to anyone to prostrate, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate

to her husband. The husband's right is so great that if he commands

her to carry a stone from the yellow mountain to the black mountain

and then from the black mountain to the white one, she has to fulfil

this duty."

 

HADEETH 25. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said "No woman

should ask her husband to divorce his second wife in order to achieve

her rights because she will only receive what has been preordained

for her." (BUKHARI and MUSLIM)

 

For example, a person who is married intends to marry a second woman.

This woman tells him to divorce the first wife before she will marry

him , or there are two women in one person's nikah and one says that

she will only live with the husband on condition that he divorces the

other. This has been prohibited by Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi

Wasallam because each one has her own destiny and should be thankful

for that.

 

HADEETH 26. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "The rights

of the husband on the wife are so great that if pus flows on the

husband's body and the woman licks it clean, then too his rights will

not be fully fulfilled." (TARGHEEB)

 

HADEETH 27. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "The world

is a commodity and its best commodity is a pious woman who assists

her husband in matters concerning the hereafter." (RAZEEN)

 

By being patient and enduring a life of poverty, women can grant

their husbands more spare time for religious duties. However this is

not prevalent today. If the husband intends to do religious work, the

wife presents a whole list of requirements to him which forces him to

become engrossed in secular matters.

 

HADEETH 28. Whenever a strange man and woman meet in seclusion

Shaytaan definitely is the third one by joining them. (TIRMIZI) i.e.

Shaytaan arouses their passions and incites them to commit evil.

 

HADEETH 29. Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: Make purdah (i.e.

conceal yourselves) from a blind man. Ummul Mumineen Hadhrat Aisha

Radhhiallahu Anha said "O Prophet of Allah, he is blind. How can he

see us?" Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam replied: "He may be

blind, but you are not blind". (AHMAD,TIRMIZI)

 

Some women do not make purdah from blind people because of their

inability to see. From this hadeeth we can deduce that just as it is

forbidden for a man to look at a woman, similarly it is forbidden for

a woman to gaze at a strange man.

 

HADEETH 30. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "A woman

should be kept concealed. When she emerges from the home without

necessity, Shaytaan makes her appealing in the sight of men."

(TIRMIZI)

 

Evil persons are attracted to her and begin following her or mention

her in the gathering of men. This implies that she should leave the

house only out of dire necessity. Today it has become a fashion to

adorn the burqa and to embroider the trousers so as to attract men.

The burqa was originally made for the purpose of purdah, but we have

made it an object of adornment.

 

HADEETH 31. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "The most

blessed nikah is the one with the least expenses." (BAIHAQI- IN

SHUABUL IMAN)

 

Today, many of the destitute destroy the youth of their daughters

because of not being able to uphold petty customs. They do not

possess anything to give nor do they want to have the nikah without

an extravagant dowry in fear of being criticized by the other family

members. In order to make our nikahs more blessed we should abandon

these futile customs and on such occasions take a lesson from the

simple nikah of Hadhrat Fatima al- Zahra Alaiha As-Salaam whose dowry

was one water-bag and one bed.

 

HADEETH 32. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "O women,

after sitting in a gathering of women do not go home and explicitly

describe any woman to your husbands." (MUSLIM)

 

This may incline your husband towards her and his affection for you

may diminish. What noble advice has been given to us by our Rasul

Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam.

HADEETH 33. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "May Allah

curse those women who imitate men in appearance and those men who

imitate women." (MISHKAT)

 

Women should not appear like men in their attire and physical

appearance.

 

HADEETH 34. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said : "When

heaven and hell were shown to me I saw that the majority of the

inmates of hell were women." (MISHKAT)

 

The reason for this is that women are ungrateful and disobedient to

their husbands. Although they will be leading a comfortable life but

as soon as there is a minor problem, they will, on the slightest

pretext show ingratitude.

 

HADEETH 35. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "Shall I

inform you which woman will enter heaven?" The Sahaba replied: "Yes

most certainly". Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said "The

woman who has children, is lovable, when she becomes angry the

husband consoles her and when the husband becomes angry she says that

as long as you do not become pleased with me, I will not even apply

surmah (antimony) to my eyes." (TABRANI)

 

HADEETH 36. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "It is not

permissible for any woman to fast optionally without her husband's

permission, and it is not permissible for her to allow anyone into

his house without his consent." (BUKHARI)

 

HADEETH 37. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "When any

woman troubles her husband, the celestial bride (hur) of heaven calls

out "Woe to you. Do not trouble him. He is temporarily with you. He

is going to leave you and be our guest. Why do you trouble our

beloved?" (IBN MAJAH)

 

HADEETH 38. The Messenger of Allah said that women are married for

their lineage, wealth, beauty and piety. You should marry one who is

pious (BUKHARI).

 

HADEETH 39. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said: "It is

extremely abominable for a woman's shoulder to touch a man. It is

better to touch a pig that is all messed up than for a woman to touch

the body of a strange man." (TABRANI)

 

HADEETH 40. Nabi Kareem Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wasallam said "A woman

cannot fulfill the rights of Allah without fulfilling the rights of

her husband. Even if a woman is busy at the stove and the husband

calls her, in that busy period also she must leave all her work and

answer his request." (TABRANI)

 

If Muslim wives mould their lives in the light of the above-mentioned

40 ahaadeeth, every Muslim house can become a model of Jannat. All

kinds of quarrels will cease and the misfortune of divorce will not

prevail. Children brought up in such an environment will be an

example of piety, discipline, love and sympathy.

May Allah make every Muslim house practice upon this. Amiin