My Organization's Profile

[Nur]

As Requested by a Brother on this forum, I, as a new Reer Guraa ( Nomad) am migrating some of my old posts from other forums so Somaliaonline nomads can also review my credentials. Be warned that my write-ups are a challenge for the serious brothers and sisters, but as you read more of my works, I am assure that our hearts will merge, so relax and read, my organization may also seem as a large corporation, but in reality, it is a one man show. Please also beware of getting the wrong message that I am selling my self when you see my name everywhere in the following writeup, because I am already sold out to Allah, my life is dedicated in Allah's service.

 

 

NURTEL NEETWORKS COMPANY PROFILE

(Building Next Generation Social Networks)

 

 

Founder and Chief Executive Officer :

 

 

Mr. Nur Samatar

 

 

History:

 

 

NURTEL NEETWORKS was incorporated in the heart of the founder in early 1997, by the end of 1997, the company was producing quality productions, its production found its way into many websites that did not give credit to the Company as expected by the company at the time. Many products shipped in that period were labeled Shareware and the only returns expected were not in this lifetime.

 

By the end of 1999, NURTEL NEETWOKS discovered Somalinet Website and became fascinated with the young Somalis trying to preserve their faith in non Islamic environment. The Company began shipping some of its products to Somalinet Women's page and later to Islam page. For the following three years, the company shipped many products all aimed at the Somali viewers.

 

At the beginning of 2003, NURTELL NEEWORKS at Public Forums became a publicly read company listed on ( R&A) this is not ( Standard and Poor), (R& A) stand for (Raqib and Atid) like the verse in Quran reads: " Maa yalfidhu min qowlin illaa ladeyhi (Raqiib and Catiid) " Suurat Qaaf.

 

The company's balance sheets and operational statements for the last three years are available in files compiled for the next life, so we are unable to show you our net worth at this time, and the CEO is really scared to death as he is facing a dilemma between not writing on one hand, and on the other hand , afraid to be grouped with those Allah said about them : ( Wa badaa lahum mina Allahi maa lam yakuunuu yaxtasibuun)

 

 

Company Stakeholders:

 

Somali People everywhere

 

 

Our Tag Line:

 

We Light up dull boards and NURturing your thought processes.

 

 

INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY:

 

Our initial public offering is around 10 Million shares(Somali Populatin). Shares of this company will be floated soon and would be available in All Somali Forums, we are looking for distributors in other media like Email and other Somali websites.

 

Head Offices :

 

Calanleey, Kismayo, Kaaraan, Xamar, Garacad Beach Resort, Hobyo , Gaalkacyo Convention Center, and Biyo Dhacay Highschool, Hargeisa

 

Vision :

 

One Nation inseparable under Allah

 

Mission:

 

Tilling the ground, seeding hope, growing trust and reaping national salvation

 

Capital Investment:

 

Nur's Time, Mind, and Soul PLUS your PARTICIPATION Expected Returns: Tremendous!!!!!But Not in this Lifetime,

 

 

Exit Strategy:

 

We must warn you that this opportunity does not have an exit strategy except death; you can only see your worth in the next life.

 

 

Board of Directors:

 

Quraan and Sunnah. The board keeps a close eye on all activities undertaken by this company. The Board meets with the CEO on a regular basis, five times a day at least and on other Dhiker sessions. The Dhiker session, continuously signals the CEO to stay on course like a ballistic missile hurling toward a target.

 

It was found that the only time the Chief Executive Officer is prone to make a mistakes or commit a sizable goof is when the Dhiker Signalling stream is interrupted due to preoccupation with worldly concerns that blur his guidance capabilities, thus compromising the above declared Vision and Mission.

 

 

Target Markets for products:

 

Somali Expatriates who access the Internet, and those who can read the printed copy, or who can listen, who can understand, and those who can act upon the advice. (English, Somali) at present with a command of three diallects used intermittently to please different viewers.

 

Other languages such as Kiswahili and Arabic pending consideration, specially for the large refugee concentration in East Leigh, Nairobi, Dubai, UAE and Jaxiimah, Aden.

 

 

Strategic Markets and

Competitive Analyses:

 

 

Tribalists, Anarchists, Pseudo Somalis and others have taken control over some Somali Forums. Our marketing department has documented that these posters are damaging our national image in front of non-Somalis, these scumbag's language, style, ethics and logic leaves a lot to be desired.

 

They are chasing away decent viewers from these boards like their Mooriyaan cousins have chased millions away from our homeland.

The biggest mistake we've made as a nation was fleeing our country and providing ghost towns to these misfits, if people stood their ground, Somalis may have been in a better situation today. Now, the same trend is being set here at Somalinet Forums. These low techs, Internet surfing Mooriyaans are far more damaging to our national aspirations than the gun totting teenagers who roam our towns. We need to stand our grounds. We must stop them on their heels, enough is enough!

 

 

NURTEL NEETWORKS Departments:

 

 

NURTEL NEETWORKS is on its way in establishing a wholesome pleasant internet surfing experience for the Somali Family Unit, FOR A CHANGE, The family is a cornerstone and a building block of our hopes. Here are what is in the works:

 

Department of NURology:

 

Honorable Dr. SAWSAN, PhD, overseas Psychological Counseling for broken hearts, We have more Psychologically disabled Somali citizens than physically disabled. As a proof, all you have to do is read threads in Somalinet Forums, It may sound funny, but the worst of misfortunes are those that make you laugh.

 

Contrary to that sad but funny note, putting a genuine healthy smile on every face is our priority and target in this department, they have stolen decency, God willing, we shall make being decent a fashionable trait in our people.

 

 

Department of NURturall:

 

DR. DIRIYE, is working hard to change the mindset of the defunct Mesozoic era Somali Neandarthal Clansman. His departmenst is seeking to Empower you with useful knowledge which is the goal of NURTEL NEETWORKS , but in a natural way of thinking, Nurturing your Mind with a collection of knowledgebase that you can put to use for you today, served with a dose of humor.

 

In NURturall Department we discuss very complicated topics such as how to jump start Somali engines, the economic versus the social factors in shaping our national rebirth, the connection between faith and Life.

 

Like a mechanic, we get under the hood, remove the parts that are obstructing your view of the big picture, and then step by step show you how to put the parts together. Once you get the idea, you will jump with joy. At NURtureall we show you the way, we put you in the drivers seat and let you drive your own mind to new horizons, that is my girl!, go get them!

 

 

That is MyNUR Department :

 

 

Special program for the youth, and the young at heart, their concerns and worries. Topics will include :

 

School and Education:

 

Topics under production: ( Yuk!, What is Trigonometry good for?) and How to make $120 thousand US Dollars /year by planning ahead in your last two years of high school and the next four years in College,

 

Studying as an exchange student in Somali Universities at Ammoud, Somaliland, Mogadishu Islamic University Managed by a consortium of governments, led by the TNG and Bossaso Technical and Telecom Institute, training next generation of seafaring sailors communications engineers..

 

 

Sex:

 

( Everything you wanted to know about Sex, but failed to find in the Internet search engines, Now showing on a screen near you:

 

( a Question on SEX). This section will candidly answer the simplest questions on sex such as (Mommy, how did the baby got into your tummy?) Exclusively for teenage girls (Mom, can I have a Halaal Boyfriend?) To questions you'd think not fit for printing, for which you may respond, " Alla hoogay!"

 

 

Music:

 

Featuring Daud Warnsby, Dhiker Everywhere, at Soundvision.com.

 

 

Raising Your Parents in Canada:

 

Understanding your parents when they tell you that you are too young to see this program, when you've just seen it at your school. Teaching your parents English without laughing. And the advanced course:

 

Tribalsim for Dummies, mastering your ABTIRSI in 21 days.

 

 

Fun and parties :

 

Proposed topics include: for boys : Safe tricks to try when Roller blade Skating on weekends in nearby malls, surfing in Qardho' Indian Ocean Waves, without being eaten by sharks. and ( Teenage Girls Beauty and make up Shop: on pimples and dimples. How to treat pimples with honey and Xabbatul Sawdaa, and save your allowance for Sadaqah to relatives back home)

 

 

Fifth AveNUR Theater:

 

Artistic production and simulation of Somali folk lore . Now playing ( A letter to the Chief) in a screen near you, another epic titled ( Reer Qurac Tribal Meeting Fiasco) is under production, we are looking for actors, one of the rising stars to watch in this theater is SIRRUS, and do not ask me what his handle mean, it is (SIR) meaning secret, he is hot, but he is married, he may entertain the idea, of taking a second lady on board, but he is picky, so better be creative in your proposal.

 

 

NURun Calaa NUR Department:

 

 

Mirroring truth to our lives, NUR is RUN read backwards, this department strives to tell it as it is, It intends to focus viewers hearts to the heavens for inspiration and peace. It is the natural way of getting high without drugs. We make you smile, and we make you cry, we love you dearly and we are after your heart, please read ( Geeridii Rasuulka SCWS , in Somali)

 

If any of this departments production is found not to conform to TRUTH, we will immediately take it off the fibers and servers, with gratitude, prayer and a big smile we say: "Jazaakumullahu Khairan".

 

 

NURtrition and Health Department

 

In this department we discuss two main areas that contribute to your healthy living:

 

1. Food and Nutrition :

 

Our priority in this department is ditoxifying the Somali man and educating Somali women to cook the right foods for a healthy family. Because, our labs are studying the effect of too much Pasta and sugar in mental stability and quick irritation of the Somali species which may be behind the civil war, this study is a joint study of Dr, Sawsan, from the Psychological point of view, Dr. Diriye from the logical point of view and The graduate student, Mr. Tuvok and me who are looking into its effect form the spiritual point of view, a joint paper is under development at Nurtel, please come see us at the poster session next May in Dhuuso Marreeb (sorry find a translator for this), and Isku Shuban ( and this one) for the annual Somali Dietry Assosciation being held at the Isku Shuban Marriott.

 

Also another symposium is in the works where the NURTEL scientists are attending in Hargeisa, discussing the QAT and its hallucinations. Dr. Sawsan will present her findings pertaining in male impotency, she will be interviweing housewives in selected districted in Somaliland to validate her theoretical predicitions on the relationship of chewing too much Qat and male marital performance.

 

 

2.Excercise and sports

 

This department looks into the possibility of changing the sedentary lifestyle of the Somalis abroad ( The ones in their homeland do walk out of necessity) I will pesronally discuss the following topics:

 

Good walking habits for the overweight

How to fit excercise and jogging into your daily schedule

The Remembrance of Allah as a relaxation technique for the mind and body, and its biological effect in helping food digestion, without Pepto Bismol.

 

 

MaanudhoweNUR Department :

 

 

Always close to the heart of the old and aging members of our Society. This department is intended to attract older viewers ( 30 and above), retired parents, grandpas and grandmas. If they are able to see the screen, with joy, I shall make them scream ( Duco Qabe, bal kheyrkaad noo heyso noo sheeg!!) Now showing in this department a Poem I composed in Somali Titled ( Ciil Badanaa, Ciidan Yaraa), This Poem is my Debut to Poetry, my first serious attempt, and depending on feedback of Somali poetry aficionados, I will either continue making poems or retire early. I can't see me trading punches with Sayyid Muhammad Abdullah Hassan on this turf, I love his poetry, but I am neither into Saalixia Suffism, although we share love of Dhiker, nor can and I confirm or deny if he indeed did all the evil deeds his adversaries claim that he committed, but one thing is for sure, the guy tried his best and died for something he believed.

 

Now, let it on me, I know it is coming from our grandpas and grandmas.

 

 

MaNURe Department:

 

 

This is the Waste Management Department. We happily recycle Somalinet Forum"s Garbage ans sewage organisms for fertilizing the grass roots of Somali Culture ( bad comments such as (%$#*&@) is always appreciated and respectfully answered in an inspiring way. This bad language serves as an example of what not to say when you are angry.

 

The MaNURe department delightfully accepts all the filth produced by organisms in Somalinet Forums, which thrive on national wounds like flies. Our Patent Pending technology at MaNURe works miraculously and transforms their comments into useful information which will help in making some sense out of their nonsense. It allows our Doctors at NURology study their thinking process and brain functions and discuss ways to find a cure for their mental ailment. Resident Doctors at NURology like TUVOK have already posted their scientific findings and assesment of the quality of posts, TUVOKn is on his way in getting his PhD in NURology, His thesis paper which has been accepted by the faculty of NURology at NURTEL CONTIUNING EDUCATION, is titled :

 

"The Phenomena of Ikhwaan, a fair and objective assesment of a misunderstood social segment"

 

In this Department please read ( Is NUR a NUT? posted by a Pseudo Somali Catholic Mafia Boss, You'd wonder why he is not working with the warlords?) For more information on this technology please call 1800 NUR AIN'T ,then dial extension # YICIB. And then follow voice menue to Sanity Sounds through Tasbiix. ALLAAHU AKBAR WA LILLAAHIL XAMD.

 

 

A Final Note to inverstors

 

Now that you have made your decision to buy shares of NURTEL NEETWORKS, here are some advice for you to get the most out of your investment. To see your share in NURTEL NEETWORKS skyrocket in value, all you have to do is the following:

 

1. Make prayer for the CEO ( iisoo duceeya), it is a tough job, I need help from a high place, and your Ducaa can reach very high, knocking the doors of heavens to help this poor guy in a sea of sharks bent on smearing him with tribalist graffiti .

 

2. If you have a relative, clansman or a friend who is producing and publishing bad content on Somalinet Forums, which are contrary to the above mission and vision that you support, please stop them by advising them .

 

And in case you are the parent of notorious young posters, Like BASRA, please take away her computer in her bedroom and deny her request for Mango Salad for three hours, she seems disturbed and needs adult supervision, her language, specially what she said about the Sharia, is very alarming, she is a troubled kid and she definitely needs rehabilitation in Gabiley or Burco ( Xijaabland), for a year, please sing the following Camel caravan passing song for her, and let us know how she responds, TUVOK and other resident Doctors at NURology are closely following her reactions to this treatment. Here is the Camel Caravan Passing song:

 

( Gabadh baad tehee gaabso, geela ha gudbee gaabso)

 

 

3. Make sure that each time you browse the pages you enjoy to contribute even a word, it will push the page up giving chance to other viewers to see and learn, which is our objective.

 

 

Nur

 

 

2003 NURTEL NEETWORKS, all rights reserved for the wellbeing of the Somali people, their dignity, and their salvation in this world and the next.