how can i form a late bond with my mother?

[silent-sistah]

ok, please, im posted up in here because i really dont wanna b judged. i just want some advice!

 

ok, well most of us somali's grew up without our parents.

 

4me, i aint seen my mother since i was 3, and the first telephone conversation i had with her was when i was 17. i have only ever spoken to her 2/3 times, and each time, no matter how hard i try, i cant control my emotions. i just want to burst out crying. so i hand the phone over to some1 else.

 

another 2 years have passed since i last spoke to her, and im feeling uncomfartable with the situation.

 

bassically, i was adopted by my mothers sister, i spent all my life calling her mother, and her daughters my sisters. i dont know and cant relate to my blood family.

 

i cant complain about my life, the past cant be changed.

 

thing is i know the significance of a mother, and i really want to build a relationship with mine,my father died a few years back and the thought of loosing my mother aswell is devastating.

 

if u guys been through similar stuff, or have any advice, please share it with me!

 

or ,,,how would u tackle my dilema if u was in my shoes?

[mojam]

maybe by calling her more often

[sweet_gal]

Sorry to hear that u havent seen your mother since the age of 3....

 

 

1.She sent u away for a good reason , I am guessing she lives in Somalia if you've only spoken to her 2/3.....Cause thats how it is over their......

 

2. Be thankful that you actually know who you're mother * u know her name, where she lives* and u were actually adopted by her sister....

 

3. If I were you I would just go somewhere like a park, ( or ur favourite spot to just think about ur mom and un bottle that emotion) or if ur comfortable telling like a close friendshare ur pain and frustration them, once u let all that crying out I am sure u'll fell better.....It really works *living proof* * no commercial

 

4. Maybe u should try calling once or 2wice, I am sure ur mom has feelings and who know's maybe she does cry more than u ( but maybe not on the phone)...Suprise her and be the one to call and not the one to recieve a call....

 

5. One thing is for sure, Your aunt is always gonna be their for u just like a mother but the one that has heaven under her feet for u is ur bilogical mother...

 

6. Be thankful I dont mean to brag about how lucky u are but just be certain that u know there are people worst off........Example orphans...So look at the good side..

 

7. Pray to god and ask for a closeness between u and ur mom and all good things....Plus theirs a reason for everything so maybe this is just a test for u and ur mom by god.....Everyone get's tested in Islam but most often we dont realize it........

 

8. Final one make her proud......Make something of urself......Mothers love to see their children become something in this world ( whatever it maybe)......Oh and I know its kinda hard for somali people to say "I love You" But try saying it ( whenever I do it lighten's my mothers face and even bro's, sis and dad).......But maybe thats too much......

 

Hope I helped ya..........But plz dont waste ur time thinking u should say this and that cause u never know when her last day or when ur last day on earth is gonna be......Time is presious.... Take advantage of the time u have, even though it's only over the phone, cherish it cause then u cant ever say u never spoke with ur mom....

[Buubto]

Aslaamu Aleikum Wr Wb

I agree with sweet girl just to add

What I will recommend you to do is to visit her as soon as u can in that way u can develop a relationship with her, by calling her every now and then isn’t effective then being with her. Remember she is your mother no matter how uncomfortable u feel, u will also feel sense of joy part of you is happy to meet her & to bond with her, no matter how complicated you think it is. When it comes to family especially prance there is strong bond that drags you out the uncomfortable zone. It will be good opportunity to know her really well in real life & shear with her your emotions.

 

Just be grateful u lucky to have 2 mothers whom r sister that adore you, some ppl don’t even have either one or don't know where they came from. u at least in your blood family. & to have a propar relationship with ur biological mother is a metter of time, i am assuming what is keeping her not to visit u is lack of distance (somalia). In that way u do the travelling since u r in west.

 

Remember to pray slaatul istikhaar & make du'a. Insha Allah ilahay sida kheyrka leh ayuu ku waa fajin.

[pearl]

walaalo...my advice for u is....make the best the time u have with her while she and not to mention urself are still living....dont hold any grudges...and just forgive...i know u cant forget(not that i am saying she did anything wrong to u....other than not lving with her)....but she is ur mother.....she has a right over.....kiss and makeup and insha allah...everything will be fine.....

 

p.s. good luck..

[rudy-Diiriye]

i grow up with 8 guys and 1 sista! 2 guys were cousins... a typical mali family or african village!! man! was i happy, the day i graduated from high school and moved out!! i dont visit but call them once a month!!

 

sista please try to visit mom and then you will satisfy your love 4 your mom! be carefully though, mali moms can be different!! dont expect too much!! just hope for the best!! good luck!!

[lambda]

Hi sister first off all we all love u and we want the best for you .

One day maybe you can afford to visit your mother insha allaah abaay macaan try to give her a call some times .

I wish u all the best.