Do Somalis Cry?

[Safi Abdi]

Do Somalis Cry?

 

Do Somalis have emotions like other people? Does heartache mean anything to us? Do we hurt when throbbing with pain? Cry when overwhelmed by sadness or are able to collapse under duress?

 

How many of us really cry when we see ourselves on TV: Disheveled. Deranged. Divided. Feeble. Cracking guns. Right at the bottom of human society?

 

How many of us really feel anything when we are met at foreign airports with derision and unwelcoming stares? Really how many of us know that we are all Somalis and that as far as the outside world is concerned we are one and the same? And that as long as we don’t forgive each and show mercy to each other no one will ever take us seriously?

 

Indeed, how many of us really wonder at the gravity of our situation?

 

Our brothers are shunning us. Our enemies are playing with us. Our children are leaving us. Our friends have become our enemies and our enemies our friends.

 

If the happenings of the last 15 years are anything to go, we should by now know that we Somalis have become experts at dismantling our homes and dispersing our people. A visit to any Somali discussion group will show us just how farther and farther away we have moved from our original Somali-ness even though every site is screaming Somalia. Somalia. Somalia. Our failure to unite in loving brotherhood have shown us and the world just how deep this disconnection has dug into the Somali psyche.

 

Even though we say we are Muslims, even though we swear on the Qur’an, even though we read:

وَاعْتَصÙÙ…Ùواْ بÙحَبْل٠اللّه٠جَمÙيعاً وَلاَ تَÙَرَّقÙواْ

‘And hold fast, all together, by the rope which Allah’(Sura 3: 103).

 

Tafararaq*1 has become a badge we wear with glee and satisfaction. Brothers and sisters, don’t be fooled, to remove this pandemic it will take more than a few handshakes and a few signed papers in front of the camera.

 

Personally, I blame our hardheartedness and obstinacy on the day’s tragic state.

 

Of all the emotions that Allah has endowed with the human, the one we Somalis need to bring out into the open is compassion and unconditional love, and I can’t see that happening unless a drastic change comes from within each and every Somali.

 

All we see are the negative vibes, brute forces and general nonchalance, while Islamic tolerance, brotherly love and compassion for our fellow citizens have all been slaughtered at the altar of dispassion. Tearless-ness has mired our seeing and our eyes remain dry even as we are gobbled up by our own defeat.

 

I hope I am not exaggerating and that you won’t disregard this as a hare-brained woman’s delusions. I want you to keep reading and I want you to be honest with yourself. This is a reality and we Somalis are living with it as we speak. There are no tears in our eyes. There is no compassion in our hearts. Some of us shout and howl, but are we capable of shedding honest tears? Are we capable of repentance, can we face our Lord and tell Him the Truth, nothing but the truth: Our Lord! We are sinners, all of us, East, West, South and North. Some of us had been responsible for past sins and some of us have repeated and tripled those sins. But now we're sorry for destroying ourselves, our nation and our people. We are sorry for giving Islam a bad name. We had been shortsighted and ungrateful. Will you please accept us, change our hate into love, and make us into loving humans who can co-exist and can take care of their own, and are at peace with their neighbors and humanity as a whole?

 

If there is one thing we’ve learned during these trying times, and even before that, it is that we Somalis are hardhearted, hardheaded and unrepentant. It’s anathema for Somalis to bend. A Somali man does not cry. The community does not allow fathers and brothers to shed tears, in as much as they abhor admitting their mistakes. This is seen as weakness.

 

A conversation I overhead long ago has proven to me again and again the deep implications of what it means to be a Somali. For instance, a Somali male is a person who doesn’t show his true feelings. And no one expects him to weep at his tragedies or failings or cry or shed tears even when his loved ones pass away. Yes, a Somali male is expected to seek revenge, that he would do, especially in these times of lawlessness, and if he can’t find the culprit, he would find someone else (an innocent man) from the tribe (Jahiliya period style, pre-Islam Bedouin tradition) But he won’t shed tears for the departed. That’s unmanly.

 

But fortunately for the community, a certain man had once broken the cycle of the upper lip and I am not shy to share his story. He had done the unthinkable. He cried in full view of an 'observer' and was caught red-handed, shedding tears, isaga oo ilma duugaya ayaa lagu qabtay *2.

 

Please note, the poor man’s wife had just passed away, leaving behind five children, and people were baffled at the idea of his shedding tears! If it this wasn’t a rare feat, I am asking, would people comment that the bereaved man was shedding tears?

 

His wife had just passed away, and the women were flabbergasted that he should have tears in his eyes! Believe it or not, this is the Somali culture and it’s deeply ingrained.

 

A Somali male is geezi*3, if he can kill/be killed or brave self destruction iyo dib adoon*4 with gusto and without hih*5. Then he is a geezi geezi dalay. WE are supposed to be so tough and so dogged that even our women aren’t supposed to say hih!*6 during child labor. Small wonder we can live with so much pain for so long! And we are still putting on a brave face!

 

Our culture doesn’t even allow Somali men and their living spouses to have quality time together. I guess it’s a sign of weakness for a Somali man to spend more time than necessary with his wife and children. Some merely tolerate the kids when the father happens to be around the house. I assure you if the men and the women were spending more time together we’d see less guns, less Qaat, and more hugs in the homes. But that’s altogether a different story. Off course, we are not like other people, we are Somalis and despite our dire straits we are constantly upbeat about our tragic dilemma.

 

We say we love our beloved Prophet yet we don’t follow in his footstep of tolerance, compassion and fairness. The mosques are filling up with more and more people yet no Sheik or Imam is urging the worshippers to pray for peace, nor do they advice the worshippers on the Islamic practice of becoming good husbands, good fathers, good neighbors, good Somalis or even good Muslims.

 

But stranger still is the belief (and I am basing my contentions on stories I have heard) that crying and shedding tears even at Allah's House Baitul Allah, is an ‘Asian thing’..Apparently only Pakistanis and Indians and other emotional folks cry during Hajj and Umra! Somalis crying by the Kabah, if at all it happens must be a rare sight! According to Somalis I talked to, Don’t count on your luck to see a Somali male crying his heart out by the Kabah! If feelings are at all present in this worshipper's heart, they are buried deep and aren’t seeable.

 

As people make Tawaaf, it's not difficult to spot Nigerians or Iranians others crying in their tongues or in heavily accented Arabic, One sees Indonesians and Malaysians overtaken by emotion, but Somalis? According to Somalis themselves, Somalis don’t cry. They are not given to baring their souls. Not even to Allah, I must add. Because if we did bare our souls to Allah, the Merciful we wouldn’t remain this disgrace for so long.

 

Those of you who had gone for Hajj or Umra would know the sheer magnitude of this Holy experience. This is the time when hundreds of thousands of believers converge, for some a once in a life time experience, to pay homage to their Creator Lord as guests of Ar-Rahman, the Merciful, this is the time when believers simply let go of themselves and their egos; repent from their past sins and make a vow not to ever repeat the same.

 

The Hajj is in fact a manifestation of Islamic brotherhood. As is the visit to our holy Prophet’s mosque where we are granted to walk on the places our beloved Prophet and his blessed companions and family walked; this being an opportunity to mingle with those elevated spirits who cemented the ties of Islamic love and brotherhood. Unfortunately, this holy experience which can only be celebrated through tears, remorse, deep faith and renewed energy and love, simply pass by us Somalis.

 

We all want to go to Hajj and Umra, those of us who can afford it, yet where is the love for our follow man? Where is the hunger for brotherhood?

 

Brothers, hold it there, I am not talking about specifics here, just stating a general Somali Malaise. Self-righteousness and Remorselessness.

 

Banal as these might seem to people not given to sentiments and Ilma duugid*6, such coldness speaks volumes with regards to our current situation. Some might attribute our lack of solidarity to unlucky circumstance. Some might even argue that the reason why we are not softening so easily despite all the difficulties is because we are ‘patient people’. Well, I beg to differ. We are not patient people. WE are just too thick-skinned In other words, Way nan jixin jixin?*7.

 

As Allah points out in the Qur’an, ‘Do they not ponder the Qur’an, or are their hearts locked up by them..

 

Ø£ÙŽÙَلَا يَتَدَبَّرÙونَ الْقÙرْآنَ أَمْ عَلَى Ù‚ÙÙ„Ùوب٠أَقْÙَالÙهَا

 

(Sura, 47: 24)

 

Yes, Somali hearts are locked up, and the key, which happens to be ‘brotherhood’ has been firmly buried somewhere known to us, or at least known to some of us. And unless we Somalis, Shacabka somaaliyeed*8 bring this key back, no amount of outside help, interim governments, Arab sympathies, Islamic courts or tribal associations will provide cure. Allah does not help those who do not help themselves. And unless we change from within, become sincere and upright, we will never reap the fruits of nationhood and dignity.

 

The cure is in the Somali person’s heart. Now shall we shed tears or shall we not?

 

Since we have come this far, I suggest, and this is from the heart, that we all do this little experiment. I have got this special bucket and I want to see it filled with tears. The feelings are within us. Release them into this bucket. It’s easy it can be done. And while at it pays to keep this in mind: We need each other. We Somalis we are a tiny nation. As believers our strength lies in love and brotherhood. Let that be our guide. So pass the word around. Pass the bucket around. Pass it on to the government and pass it on to the clan elders, to the Islamic courts, to husbands and wives, and to every Somali Internet Site, including all ‘cyber lands’ and all the ‘clan lands’, and ‘clan courts’. And let’s all hand this down to our Muslim kids. Then only would we be able to mend the fences, break the walls, win each other’s hearts and bring peace and prosperity to our nation.

 

Wassalalahu ala sayidina Muhammad wa calla aalihi wa assahabi wassalam!

Wa billahi tawfiq wal hadaya. Author Website

[Che -Guevara]

Nice piece bro,

 

Somalis do cry, but alone in the dark with no one to lean on. Misery is their only company!!!!

 

P.S. I have always thought the lack of apathy for each other lead to our downfall. We all do is just mock each other.

[Duufaan]

there is hope. First time I see some hope for somalis. Actually I feel it is tunning point. we do best when we feel hopeless. Overall positive news coming from moqdisho and Baydhabo.

 

End of the day it is somalis who need to shake hands. the foriengers are not either side.

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Isn't this interesting? What time does to people's opinion. Our sister Safi Cabdi supposedly knew what and who our enemies were a year ago.

 

And that other thread now, less than a year later. It is amazing what time does to people.

[A.J.]

History has shown that a lot of somali's are motivated and driven by hate towards eachother and only have love for their own gabiils. but i believe that there is hope, as our generation is seeing the light. However time will only tell as there is always a chance that even those people can fall into the somali trap of gabiilism which always has been and by the looks of it always will be what keeps Somali's back.

[Malika]

Che,I am sure the authour of the article is a female!!

 

Safi,you ask if we cry, YES!!some of us cry,evertime we hear,see and observe the plights of our people.The instability of our political situation with its dire consequences to the masses.

 

Images on the news of the war in Somalia are a record of the reality in the situation. I find these images of pain and suffering so unsettling, images of mothers and their children under a tree makes me feel willy-nilly. That I am sitting on a comfort of my sofa unable to intervene. The images of horror on the streets of Mogadishu have effects of ambiguity which is inescapable. The recent Dhahar conflicts caused uneasiness within, fearing the ever looming possible war in the Northern part of Somalia….thoughts of doom and gloom are overwhelming at many times.

 

We put up with the worst of people as our leaders when we can do so much better, we rely more on foreigners than our fellow Somalis, more or less. How are we to achieve peace, when peace cannot be kept by force under any circumstances, Until we come to terms with the crimes committed against each other, we will never achieve peace.

 

Inshallah we shall over come these uncertain times,after repenting to Allah for crimes committed against each other under the flags of clanships...yet we stand proud calling ourselves muslims..How shameful of us?

[Castro]

Originally posted by Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar:

Isn't this interesting? What time does to people's opinion. Our sister Safi Cabdi supposedly knew what and who our enemies were a year ago.

 

And that other thread now, less than a year later. It is amazing what time does to people.

Are you calling her a hypocrite?

[Paragon]

^^Lol. Oh no, never I mean. He's using sugar-coated words in a bid to arrive at the word you bravely, (without crying or geed ku gabasho) spelt out .

 

MMA: lol, maybe the sister just wants peace? Which is these days' strongest excuse for changing one's political stance.

[NGONGE]

^^ And not that any of what she wrote there contradicts with what she wrote in her recent article.

 

Safi's heart is (and was) in the right place. She wants to the best for Somalia but she's letting her emotions rule her head (in this article and the other). You can see it by the way she starts of with one topic and then blindly digresses into all sorts of confusing and convoluted paths.

 

Still, she did not praise the Islamic Courts in this thread and she did not praise them on the other thread. One really can’t see what MMA is hinting at here.

 

As for the topic of crying, she’s using as her evidence a number of stories and anecdotes that she’s heard or witnessed. If that were evidence enough, I too could counter back with many a story of Somalis crying at funerals I’ve been to! It’s human to cry, silly to weep. However, I don’t believe this was what she was getting at. I rather suspect that she was talking about the lack of empathy and the apparent dearth of compassion that Somalis display to their fellow countrymen. She may be right but I beg to differ with her there and argue that Somalis can NEVER stop wailing at the merest of incidents.

 

Safi is a very good writer and I have an inkling that, when she speaks, people listen! My advice would be to try to remove herself from all this wailing and attempt to tackle, write about and consider Somali problems without letting her emotions get in the way. If she were like Mr Goth, who even though he does not live in Somaliland, still writes a dozen emotional articles a day then I would understand her reasons. For in the case of Mr Goth, the man seems to have a clear goal and understandable mission; to forward, market and sell the case of Somaliland’s independence. His methods might not be that ethical but I suppose he subscribes to that old adage about the ends justifying the means! In Safi’s case however, the ends themselves are not that clear. Unlike the case of Somaliland where the end hoped for would be international recognition, the Somali ends here would mean a million and one things; peace, reconciliation, a functioning government, an unimpeachable parliament/president and UNITY. There are so many variables, so many hurdles and much more conflict to sift through before one could rely on simple demagogical articles to convince people that HIS or HER way is the correct one.

 

Safi seems far too intelligent to be caught in this sort of nonsense and I sincerely hope (if she’s reading this) that she’ll take a step back and think things through. Don’t cry yet, Safi! Keep those tears well and truly under control and wait for this ugly Somali storm to pass. As soon as it’s over and we can clearly (and hopefully finally) survey the wreckage we’ll all be able to have closure and cry for all those that fell, all the houses that burned and all the years that we’ve wasted. Premature crying will only impair our vision and cloud are judgment, sister.

[Castro]

^^^ Wow. That nearly brought a tear to my eye.

[NGONGE]

^^^ Heh. I try my best. But people aren't falling for it anymore.

[Castro]

^^^ You do seem to be losing your touch. Nonetheless, I still think you're wasting your time (not to mention squandering your talent) working at that 9-to-5 of yours counting beans.

[Pujah]

hmm interesting article! now the question is do SOLers cry?

[rudy-Diiriye]

yeey, clan cheerleaders cry. watch, u gonna hear one crying soon! lool.