my beef with islamic books and lectures about women

[bilan]

whenever i go to islamic lectures, or listen or read books about muslim women, it really pisses me off that they put all muslim women in one catogary which is wife/mother/stay at home. i am not in any of those catogary and i will never be stay at home mother unless i marry some one like Bill Gates , and i know a lot of people who will never be for different reasons , so everything that they talk about does not apply to me, and it does not apply to millions of women are either unmarried, widows or could not have children, are they considered second class citizens. it really amazes me that they think the only problem that muslim women have are how to please their husband, they never talk about problems muslim women are facing in work place,they never talk about problems that muslim girls are facing in schools and colleges,why can not they see muslim woman for what she is. i wish someone can tell those sheikhs that we fit more than one catogary. 16 year old girls does not have to listen that she needs a permission from her husband to visit her sick mother :mad:

[Johnny B]

Bilan, you make very intresting points , i wish i'd the knowledge it takes to explain why Muslim women are chased with the "wife/mother/stay at home" Gun, but when you say :

 

"16 year old girls does not have to listen that she needs a permission from her husband to visit her sick mother "

 

i think the problem that she has to ask for a permission to vissit her sick mother fades to NOTHING compared to the problem that she is 16 and having sex without any sort of preventive measures.

 

Maybe this will lead your thread to a direction you rather not head , but take it just as another perspective.

[Naden]

Originally posted by bilan:

whenever i go to islamic lectures, or listen or read books about muslim women, it really pisses me off that they put all muslim women in one catogary which is wife/mother/stay at home.

Bilan, I think the lecturers/authors' focus on mostly marital affairs is a reflection of their limitation. There are many writers/lecturers who address concerns about work, ethics, and finances among others. They may not be as well known as the ones you've run into or have the access to the lecture/TV channel circuits. If you'd like some names, send me a private message and I'll give you a couple.

[RendezVous]

While, Bilan, you need resourceful nomads like brother Nur to answer some of your questions..I have the gut to say, Somalis and many Muslims in general need to "understand that" some of their own cultures, must be set to be compatible with Islamic faith..Many Muslims think, their Cultures are their faith, including the Somalis who are 99.9% Muslims...

 

Anything that happens in Muslim regions and societies, Non-muslims or anti-Islam propagandas automatically attribute it to Islam..Muslims need to follow Islamic faith to the latter, so that those who don't know Islam, get to know it

 

Islam is against "mistreating of Women"...

Islam is against Terror

Islam is against "unethical" attitudes and behaviours

Islam is about Love

Islam is not a "controversial" religion like others

Islam is many things..........so take time to study your own religion, is not a sheikh who goes and starts "His" own religion..maybe he reads it somewhere

 

Study your own religion and please next time, assume your Somali/Arabic culture different from Islam

 

[Aaliyyah]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Bilan sister all of us are one day going to be mothers, or housewives. Certainly, that is not something to be ashamed of . the only way you will not be a housewife is if u dump your children at daycare as soon as u have them? and i hope that aint the case? i hope you learn from our mothers mistakes? just think why is most somali youth lost whether it is cultural speaking or even behaviour wise. most them do not even know how to conduct themselves. so unless you want your kids to follow those steps, you better think twice.Personally, i cant see my children walkin into those steps. Do not get me wrong, i am university-level educated, and i have thought many times the fact that i did not spend years in school, and still studying so i can be futurewise a stay at home mom. However, to think about it if u have kids you need to stay home and teach them what is permitted in terms of our relegion (insha-allah i hope to do that as soon as i have kids , but got to find a muslim brother ). Otherwise, our kids will certainly be out of control, as many have been.

wasalaamu alaikum

[bilan]

I do not know why you assume i am ashamed, being a mother is an honor, but some people will never be a mother, should we pretend that they do not exist. some women put their kids in a day care cause staying with them is a luxury that they cannot afford, believe it or not some women have responsibilty beyond shoes and make up.as i said before not all muslim women are mothers and wives, 60 year old muslim women and 16 year old muslim needs and struggles deserve to be addressed, i'd like to see more lectures about problems that working muslim women are facing.

[Blessed]

Dr Aisha Hamdan, Michelle Al Nasr, Huda Khatab and many others (including some men) have written some good books on waht your looking for.

 

Generally, books on work and society are directed at bothe genders because there isn't much difference in the rulings.

 

Also, we're living in a time when a degree / Ma in Islamic studies is a few clicks away. Sisters, need to educate themselves instead of depending on others to teach them their deen all the time.

[Uthman1]

Bilan Islam is a perfect way of life with no error or unfairness. As well if you reject anything in the Quran and Sunnah then you have left the fold of islam, lets make this issue very very clear, its not a soft issue that you can play around with.

 

As regarding other books besides the Quran and Sunnah and lectures on women then you shouldnt quote things out of context. If a Shiekh refers to womeen that should take care of her children and household then you shouldnt say well he basis this opinion on all women especially the ones with different circumstances like not being able to be pregnant etc.

 

As regarding a women who can have children then her responsibilty of taking care of the child and raising them to islam and giving them strong foundation is far greater importance than a career etc. What is more greater and challanging than raising a child and her primary focus should be on this. As regarding mens role, we know from shariah that men has to provide for the family and the wife does not has to put food on the table, provide money etc. Even if she had the money to do so she doesnt have to because this is the role of the man. So we see that Allah has shared responsibilty between men and women.

 

I recently saw a poll in England and over 70% of women prefer to raise their children rather than work. Its very complicated for a women to take her role in raising the children and as well take the role of the men. So in her interest its best that she doesnt make things difficult for herself and do one job and leave the other responsibility to the man. Islam is not materialistic, being a millionare is not what we seek, rather we seek the pleasure of Allah and to follow His Messenger(pbuh) and this is the true success.