Anger Management [ In Islam]

[Muhammad]

ANGER MANAGEMENT

Anger by itself is not unnatural. However, if one gets angry for reasons other than for the sake of Allaah, it can lead to problems. The Prophet (pbuh) described cures for this "disease" and ways to limit its effects, among which are the following:

(1) ) Seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan:

 

"And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaytaan (Satan), then seek refuge with Allaah" [al-A'raaf 7:200]

 

Sulayman ibn Sard said: "I was sitting with the Prophet (pbuh), and two men were slandering one another. One of them was red in the face, and the veins on his neck were standing out. The Prophet (pbuh) said, 'I know a word which, if he were to say it, what he feels would go away. If he said

 

"I seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan," what he feels (i.e., his anger) would go away.'" (Bukhaari)

(2) Keep Quite:

 

The Prophet (pbuh) said: "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." (Ahmad).

The angry person may lose self control and utter words of Kufr, curses, the word of divorce (talaaq),etc. So keeping quite would avoid all that.

(3) Make Wudu:

 

The Prophet (pbuh) said: Anger is from the Shaytaan and the Shaytaan is made from fire. Nothing can put out the fire except water, so when any of you gets angry, he should make Wudu.( Ahmad, Abu Dawood)

 

(4) Get out of the situation you are in:

 

The Prophet(pbuh) said: "If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down."(Ahmad).

 

Sitting down makes it less likely that he will become overexcited, and lying down makes it even less likely that he will do something crazy or harmful.

(5) Remember the advice of the Prophet (pbuh):

 

A man said to the Prophet (pbuh), "Advise me." He said, "Do not become angry." The man repeated his request several times, and each time the Prophet (pbuh) told him, "Do not become angry." (Bukhaari)

(6) Remember the rewards of controlling your anger:

 

The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Do not become angry and Paradise will be yours." (Tabaraani-Saheeh)

And he (pbuh) said, "Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allaah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection."(Tabarani)

 

(7) Remember the reward for forgiving others:

 

The Prophet (pbuh) said: "Allaah will not increase a person who forgives others except in honor." (Muslim).

(8) Know the high status and advantages offered to those who control themselves:

 

The Prophet (pbuh) said: "The strong man is not the one who can overpower others (in restling); rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry." (Ahmad).

 

The greater the anger, the higher the status of the one who controls himself.

(9) Know that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness (taqwaa):

 

One of the characteristics of the ones Allaah loves is that they….

 

"spend (in Allaah's Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, [they] repress anger, and [they] pardon men; verily, Allaah loves al-muhsinoon (the good-doers)." [Aal 'Imraan 3:134]

 

". . . when they are angry, they forgive." [al-Shooraa 42:37]

(10) Listen to reminders:

 

A person may get angry, but the true mo'min is the one, when reminded, will remember Allaah and suppress his anger. Ibn 'Abbaas reported that a man said: "O son of al-Khattaab, you are

Not giving us much and you are not judging fairly between us." 'Umar was so angry that he was about to attack the man, but al-Hurr ibn Qays, who was one of those present, said: "O Ameer al-Mu'mineen, Allaah said to His Prophet (pbuh) 'Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish' [al-A'raaf 7:199]. This man is one of the foolish." By Allaah, 'Umar could go no further after al-Hurr had recited this aayah to him, and he was a man who was careful to adhere to the Book of Allaah. (Bukhaari).

(11) Remember the bad effects of anger:

 

Anger leads to regret and the need to apologize. The angry person may go out of control; he could strike out and injure someone, destroy possessions or even kill. He could utter divorce to his wife in a fit of rage and then regret it for the rest of his life.

 

(12) Du'aa':

 

One of the du'aa's of the Prophet (pbuh) was:

 

 

"O Allaah, by Your knowledge of the Unseen and Your power over Your creation, keep me alive for as long as You know life is good for me, and cause me to die when You know death is good for me. O Allaah, I ask You to make me fear You in secret and in public, and I ask You to make me speak the truth in times of contentment and of anger. I ask You not to let me be extravagant in poverty or in prosperity. I ask You for continuous blessings,and for contentment that does not end. I ask You to let me accept Your decree, and for a good life after death. I ask You for the joy of seeing Your face and for the longing to meet You, without going through diseases and misguiding fitnah (trials). O Allaah, adorn us with the adornment of faith and make us among those who are guided. Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds."

 

 

 

 

"Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."

 

(Ar-Rad : Ayah-28)

[Haaraahur.]

^

People spend thousands of dollars on anger management classes and still can't control their anger. They could have saved a lot of money and be cured from their anger had they taken the Islamic advice on the issue. I was comparing the Islamic perspective and today’s psychologists techniques are becoming more Islamic.

 

(2) Keep Quite: The Prophet (pbuh) said: "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." (Ahmad).

 

The angry person may lose self control and utter words of Kufr, curses, the word of divorce (talaaq),etc. So keeping quite would avoid all that.

Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"

 

Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.

 

It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

 

Cognitive Restructuring

 

Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic.

 

Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).

 

 

(4) Get out of the situation you are in:

The Prophet(pbuh) said: "If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down."(Ahmad).

 

Sitting down makes it less likely that he will become overexcited, and lying down makes it even less likely that he will do something crazy or harmful.

Changing Your Environment

 

Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap. Give yourself a break.

 

etc etc

[Muhammad]

Roob

 

There is so much Hikmah in the Quraan and Sunnah, only if we invested more time learning them.

 

Back in High School, a friend of mine was sent to see the nurse, because he got angry in class, and it became hard for him to breath.

 

When he came back from the Nurse after few minutes, he was very calm and even had a smile on his face. I wondered what the Nurse did so I asked him, he said she told him to 'go wash your face' and once i did, I felt much better, she said, it is something that works for her too.

 

Some years later, when I became mindful of Allah, and started learning the Diin, I came across that Hadith and suddently froze.

 

 

sometimes I wonder, what would happen, if I, or my friend knew about that Hadith at the time and gave it to the Nurse...