BACKBITING

[Muna_muslimah222]

BACKBITING

 

It's one of the greatest sins and yet it's something we do day after day. Sometimes we don't even realise it. You're just chatting away with your friends and you begin to talk about somebody else. Our whole lives are based around 'Home and Away' and 'Neighbours', soaps based on lying, backbiting etc. But look at what the Prophet (saw) said about it: The Prophet (saw) was sitting with his companions one day and one of them was speaking badly about someone who wasn't there. As the man got up to leave the Prophet (saw) said to him: "Pick Your Teeth!" "But I haven't eaten anything." The man protested. "No" the Prophet (saw) said "YOU HAVE EATEN THE FLESH OF YOUR DEAD BROTHER".

 

As Allah tells us in the Quran: "Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? No, you would hate it." (49:12)

 

But What If It's True?!

 

The Prophet (saw) told us "Backbiting is to say something about someone they wouldn't like said about them....If what bad you said about them is true, then you have backbited and if it is false then you have slandered them."

 

If you're still not convinced of how big a sin backbiting really is, then look at the punishment Allah has in store for the backbiters. The Prophet (saw) described: "On the night of Mirage I passed by some people who had metal hooks in their hands and were clawing at their faces and their necks with them. I asked Gabriel 'Who were these people?' He said 'These are the people who eat the flesh of human beings and disgrace them'.

 

This is how big of a sin backbiting is looked upon and yet we continue to backbite without a second thought, next time you lie, talk about somebody, remember Allah (swt) and the Prophet (saw) and put them in front of you before you speak.

 

Just having a Laugh!

 

Maybe we think it's all right to take the mock out of someone so long as we say it to their face. 'We'll make fun of the way someone talks, walks, or how they look. Allah warns us against such behaviour: "O you who believe. Let not some men laugh at others, it may be the that they are better than you. Nor let some women laugh at others it may be that they are better than you. Nor abuse each other, nor be sarcastic to each other by using offensive nicknames..." (49:11)

 

Don't forget that Allah made us the way we are, so how can you even think of making fun of his creation?

 

Cool to Swear?

 

Listen to yourself and to your friends speaking one day - nearly every sentence will have a swear word in it, thinking it's cool and macho to swear, copying the idols of TV and the cinema. Is it really 'cool' to swear? The Hellfire is far from being cool. People will wish they were cool then rather than being cool in this world. Remember! That every time you speak, an angel writes down what you say, and that one day you will have to answer for every single word you ever uttered. So if you swear at someone then it's written down as a sin against you. You're only harming yourself. The Prophet (saw) said that "Abusing a Muslim is a sin and fighting with him is disbelief." (MUSLIM).

 

'But sometimes you just have to swear'!

 

We've all been there - you're just so angry with somebody and the only way you can express yourself, is to swear at them. The solution? ...

 

Don't get angry in the first place.

 

A man came to the Prophet (saw) one day and said "Advise me". The prophet (saw) said "Don't become angry. Don't become angry. Don't become angry".... "When one of you gets angry while he is standing up, he should sit down. Then anger will leave him, and if not then he should lie down" (Ahmad). So let us follow this beautiful advice of the Prophet (saw) and remember that anger is from shaitan. If someone angers you or swears at you then don't harm yourself by doing the same but respond in a better way as Allah says in the Quran: "Repel evil with what is better. Then he who was your worst enemy will become your best friend." (Ch41v33)

 

"It wasn't me. Honest."

 

How often do we say such a phrase or say that "I was only joking". We treat lies as being trivial. However we are told that "Allah's messenger did not hate anything more than lying"(Ahmed). The Prophet (saw) was once asked "Can a Muslim be a coward?" He (saw) replied "Yes." and then asked "Can a Muslim be a miser?" and the reply was "Yes." The Prophet (saw) was then asked "Can a Muslim be a liar?" The Prophet (saw) replied "NO! A Muslim can never be a liar". Furthermore, he said "Truth leads to virtue and virtue leads to paradise...Lying leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to the hellfire." (Bukhari). As we know that one lie leads to another ten lies which lead to bad actions. Remember you can lie and think that you have got away with it but on the day of Judgement your hands, tongue and feet will bear testimony against you and tell the truth.

 

But it's only words!

 

One day one of the companions asked the Prophet (saw) "O Messenger of Allah. Will we be called to account for what we say?" He replied "May you be lost to your mother - people will be thrown, faces down into the hellfire, only on account to what their tongues said." (Tirmidhi).

 

Indeed the tongue controls the rest of your body. A well controlled tongue will keep us within Islam but a loose tongue will destroy us.

 

The Prophet (saw) said "When a person gets up in the morning, all the parts of his body make a plea to his tongue saying; 'Fear Allah regarding us, because we follow you. If you are right then we shall also be right , and if you are wrong then we shall also be wrong." (Tirmidhi)

 

Instead of swearing, lying and engaging in useless talk we can use our tongues in better ways and what better than telling people about Islam. Allah says "Who is better in speech than one who calls (men) to Allah and works righteousness and says I am one of those who bow down in Islam" (41:33)

 

Your tongue can save you as well!

 

Indeed if you control your tongue and speak good then paradise can be yours. The Prophet (saw) said "Whoever can guarantee me two things I can guarantee them Paradise." The companions asked "What O Messenger of Allah?" He replied "What is between his jaws (his tongue) and his legs (private parts)." (Bukhari)

 

I've lied and backbited, sworn and made fun of others. I must be doomed I must be going to hell!"

 

NO! Allah (swt) tells us in the Quran: "O my servants who have wronged themselves. never despair of the mercy of Allah for truly he forgives all sins. He is the Forgiving, the Merciful." (39:53)

 

So if you really repent and turn back to Allah and promise not to commit the sin again then truly Allah's promise is true and He will forgive you. If you've backbitten someone - go and tell the person whom you backbited and apologise sincerely and ask them to forgive you. But if you think that the situation will get worse then turn back to Allah sincerely begging for his forgiveness then to make up for what you said, go around and talk good of him.

 

The Best Example

 

As we know that the best person to have ever lived is the Prophet Muhammad (saw) and he is the best of example for mankind. If we follow him we can never go wrong. Ayesha (RA) the Prophet's wife described the Prophets conduct as follows: "He was neither a obscene talker nor a user of bad words. He did not shout nor did he repay evil with evil. He used to forgive people and overlook their sins." (Tirmidhi)

 

Final Advice: A beautiful saying of the Prophet (saw) that will ensure the protection of our tongue. The Messenger of Allah (saw) said: "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last day, LET HIM EITHER SPEAK GOOD OR KEEP SILENT" (Agreed upon)

 

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SOME CASES WHERE IT IS PERMISSIBLE TO BACKBITE

 

F. Ahmad

 

Backbiting is permissible only for valid reasons approved by Shari`ah. These reasons are as follows:

 

1. It is permissible for an oppressed person to speak before the judge or someone in a similar position of authority to help him or her establish his or her rights by telling him `so-and-so wronged me and has done such and such to me' etc.

 

2. It is permissible to seek somebody's assistance in forbidding evil and helping someone change his or her immoral conduct. One can say to the person who can offer such assistance, `so-and-so does such and such evil deeds. Can you exhort him?' etc. This is permissible as long as one intends to forbid evil. If, however, one intends something else apart from this, then this act becomes unlawful.

 

3. One who seeks legal verdict on a certain matter may point out the defaults of another person or relate something else. One in this case can say to the Mufti (religious scholar who issues verdicts): "My father or brother (for example) treated me unjustly. Can I get my right established?'' etc. This is permissible to say only if need be, but it is better to say `What do you think of someone who did such and such?' This does not mean, however, that naming the person in question is not permissible, Hadith No. 1536 makes this point clear.

 

4. One who criticizes those who openly commit acts of disobedience, such as drinking wine, gambling, engaging in immoral habits, fornication, hypocrisy, and making mischief.

 

5. It is permissible to call into question the narrators of Hadith, and witnesses in the court when the need arises. It is also permissible to mention the bad qualities of somebody for marriage purposes in case an advice is sought. Also, if one has noticed that a "seeker of knowledge'' frequently goes to the gatherings of an innovator in religion and one fears that this "seeker of knowledge'' may be affected by this so-called scholar, then he must in this case give counsel to the "seeker of knowledge'' by telling him about the "innovator,'' etc.

 

6. It is permissible to use names such as "Al-a`mash'' which means `the blear-eyed' to talk about people who are known by such names for the sake of identification and not for disparaging people and underestimating them. To identify them without resorting to such names is however better.

 

1531. `Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: A man sought permission for audience with the Prophet (PBUH). He said, "Give him permission but he is a bad member of his tribe.'' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. Commentary: Imam Al-Bukhari has obviously justified the backbiting of wicked people to save people from being deceived from their appearance. If people are not informed of the real conduct of such persons, their religious as well as worldly life will be exposed to a grave danger. For this reason, the backbiting of wicked persons for the purpose of warning others is permissible.

 

1532. `Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "I do not think that so-and-so understands anything of our Faith.'' [Al-Bukhari] Al-Bukhari said: Al-Laith bin Sa`d, who is one of the narrators of this Hadith, said: The two men mentioned by the Prophet (PBUH) in this Hadith were hypocrites (i.e., they revealed Faith and concealed disbelief). Commentary: Hypocrites are also people of mischievous and doubtful conduct. It is, therefore, not only permissible but necessary to make people aware of their real position so that people become cautious about them and their religious and worldly life may remain safe from their machinations.

 

1533. Fatimah bint Qais (May Allah be pleased with her) said: I came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said to him: "Muawiyah and Abul-Jahm sent me a proposal of marriage.'' The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Muawiyah is destitute and he has no property, and Abul-Jahm is very hard on women.'' [bukhari and Muslim]. Commentary: We learn from this Hadith that it is permissible to mention the true facts, virtues and vices without equivocation, about the parties who intend to enter into wedlock provided one does it for their welfare.

 

1534. Zaid bin Al-Arqam (May Allah be pleased with him) said: We set out on a journey along with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and we faced many hardships. `Abdullah bin Ubaiy (the chief of the hypocrites at Al-Madinah) said to his friends: "Do not spend on those who are with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) until they desert him.'' He also said: "If we return to Al-Madinah, the more honourable (meaning himself, i.e., Abdullah bin Ubaiy) will drive out therefrom the meaner (meaning Messenger of Allah (PBUH)).'' I went to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and informed him about that and he sent someone to `Abdullah bin Ubaiy. He asked him whether he had said that or not. Abdullah took an oath that he had not done anything of that sort and said that it was Zaid who carried a false tale to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). Zaid said: I was so much perturbed because of this until this Verse was revealed verifying my statement: "When the hypocrites come to you (O Muhammad (PBUH)), they say: `We bear witness that you are indeed the Messenger of Allah.' Allah knows that you are indeed His Messenger, and Allah bears witness that the hypocrites are liars indeed.'' (63:1) Then the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) called the hypocrites in order to seek forgiveness for them from Allah, but they turned away their heads. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. Commentary: `Abdullah bin Ubaiy was the chief of the hypocrites at Al-Madinah. In the journey mentioned in this Hadith, which was undertaken in connection with the war with Banu Al-Mustaliq, he had used improper words against the Prophet (PBUH) and Muslims, which were overheard by Zaid bin Al-Arqam (May Allah be pleased with him). The latter informed the Prophet (PBUH) about this occurrence. This incident goes to prove that exposing the designs and conspiracies of hypocrites does not form backbiting. In fact, it is essential to keep people informed about them in the interest of Islam and Muslims.

 

1535. `Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, said to the Prophet (PBUH): Abu Sufyan is a niggardly man and does not give me and my children adequate provisions for maintenance unless I take something from his possession without his knowledge. The Prophet (PBUH) said to her, "Take from his possessions on a reasonable basis that much which may suffice for you and your children.'' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. Commentary: Hind was the mother of Mu`awiyah (May Allah be pleased with him). Along with her husband, Abu Sufyan, she embraced Islam in the year of conquest of Makkah.

 

We learn from this Hadith that:

 

1. In order to know religious injunctions, husband and wife can mention each other's shortcomings before a Mufti (a religious scholar who is in a position to issue verdicts on religious matters).

 

2. If a husband does not give his wife enough money to cover the domestic expenses, then it is permissible for his wife to take some of his money without his permission, provided the amount thus taken is for essential expenses not for superfluous matters.

 

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[wardi]

jazakallah again, backbiting something we do every day, may ALLAH safe us from it