Is it Wrong it fall In love with a married guy, with Kids???

[Sensual_Healing]

Salaam alakum brothers'n sisters in ISLAM.

i have this friend of mine and she fall in Love with this None somali Guy that was already married with three Kids.

He wanted to marry her But her family didn't like an idea of a none somali guy that was married with three kids, as a muslim his allowed to marry Four Wives....

He tells her he doesn't love the other woman and he loves her more than in one in this World! even his Kids,

You see, this guy is 24 years old and she's 17 years old, he got married to his wife when he was 17 yrs of age and she was 24, ,,,,,,,,

Back in his jahiliya Days than she got pregnant and he had to marry her, they both wern't religios, But they are boths very religious Now, and His Not happy he says Since he got married to his wife all he has been doing is Please his wife and kids and never pleases Himselves, and if he married this somali girl, because he loves her he 'll be much happier the Problem is, the girl is a bit scared because her family is against it, and his wife is not happy about it, which might cause some Problems for his family! and i heared that Destroying a family is like Destroying the Kabah....................

Also she thought about running away with the guy But he always says No. he has tried three times But her family keep on refusing,,,,,, and she has No heart For no one else other than Him.

 

 

What should She Do??

Ma'salama

[RaMpAgE]

w/salaam....abaayo...

 

First of all the girl is 17, at the age of 17 she should be thinking about her education and which path in life she would take instead of getting married. shes very young at the moment and iam sure she not very well informed of the hardship in life, and marrage is a very big big responsiblity. at the age of 17 its very easy to fall in love .

 

Secondly running away is the worest sceniro, because you disrespect ur partners and you will be isolated from the family. no man is worth a family.because at the end of the day if something happend who would she turn too? :confused:

 

Thirdly this guy should respect the family and leave this girl because at the moment shes young and really doesn't know what shes getting into. and if hes religious and smart he should workout a way to return to his former wife and sort out the problem or find another lady.

 

so my conculsion would be the girl to forget about this guy, hes not the only guy in the world, and the guy should leave the girl alone and return to his wife .

 

i hope that helped a lil..

 

 

A hero dies once, a coward dies a thousand deaths

[shyhem]

sensual

Tell u'r friend,she young and naive,but that's not the only problem.She is about to commit suicide.Is she sick to think about this.The guy already has a ******* as an offspring,does she know what that means.

Secondly what makes her think he won't go for wife number three or child ******* number 7.

 

In life we make mistakes,but this is not a mistake,this is complete stupidity of the highest order.

[Miriam1]

Salam

 

This is a hard position for any girl to be in...iam not going to judge the multitude of her emotions, but really love isnt everyting.

 

Her parents are probably thinking of her future

 

-Is she going to purse her education if she marries him

-How will he be able to divide himself between her and his household

-Will he be able to support his childern and her childern?

Rampage is right at 17 its easy to fall in love i see my friends and they love one different guy every few months the word is so easily spoken that its no more than a claim to infatuation.

 

Peace

[Kool_Kat]

In love@17 with a married man with 3kids, oh puhlease, spare me the pain from the laughter... What she's doing is STUPIDITY, plain and simple... Why in God's name would she want to run off with a 24yr with 3kids and a wife... Did she, for on second, stoped and thought how silly and stupid this sounds...Goodness...

 

What does she know about life...She's still a little girl...No experiece whatsoever, I can't believe this... I am sure there are a lot fish in the sea for her, but she should take her time...

 

Education should be the NO 1 thing in her life right now...What if she runs off with him and gets pregnant...Then he leaves her for another woman...How is she gonna take care of that child and herself...

 

Tell her to stop the none sense...And put all of her attention in her studies...Come on now...Uff

[Armstrong]

Wa Alaikum Salaam Yaa Faatimah,

 

Wow ! Damn ! Complex situation or what? One must try to balance so much. On one side you are trying to keep family happy and the other side one is in love with someone who is married already with four kids. As usual the way to get out of any mess is via Quran and Sunnah and obviously using your intellect.

 

Unfortunately I do not think any one can tell her what to do, this is a personal conquest and struggle. According to my limited knowlegde and understanding. I would recommend the sister to sit down by herself and ponder on the following paramount questions:

 

1. Am I marrying for Allah's sake in order to stay away from zina?

 

2. Do I really love and attracted to this person and the feeling mutual?

 

3. Get the consent of her family? If not still she can disagree since she is marrying him not the family marrying him.

 

3. Would I disturb the family cohesion and especially his wife and four kids, does the wife agree for him to marry or happy?

 

4. What are the conditions of polygomy and compare it with this situation?

 

Consult the findings with fellow Muslims and make a decision. Before making a decision, perform wudu, and offer two rakat salaah (prayers). After recite the Istikharah dua http://www.fiqh.net/Salah/Istikhara.htm asking for Allah's Over-Flowing guidance in your matter then surely you will be successful.

 

" Wa shaarwirhum fil amr fa idaa cazamta fatawakal cala Allah..."

 

"..And consult them in the affair and when you have made your decision trust in Allah.."

 

 

Mujahid over and out !

[Sensual_Healing]

Salaam Alakum''All,

Well, i presented you with a complex problem, and for all the sisters'& Brothers that said she's only 17 yrs Old! Well age is just a number it doesn't determine whether someone can fall in love at the age of 17 or know what True love means at that age,

Love has NO age Limit!

Dear brothers and sisters this girl has no intention of leaving her education and she has no intention of dissapointing her caring parents,

But i'm personally affraid for her mental health!

she's going Out of her mind and someone of you might think it's Pathetic to Go Crazy over a Guy! or a Girl, But it does happen, it becomes really unbearable, to Go on Knowing that your Heart is about to Break in two pieces i know i sound like a drama Queen, But i'm just saying what she feels,

she simply fell inlove with a Brother For his religion First,than came attraction etc!

i just Wish her parents would look Beyondthe age, ethnic, and wife and Concentrate in How Religious, and True he really is, and how much he loves their Daughter!!!!

I don't Think she's STUPID! nor do i think fallin in love at the age of 17 is STUPID,, nothing stupid about that,

You are all saying how Young she is,

But this girl hasn't adopted the teen life style, she's Farley strict when it comes to ISLAM, and Mature, if i might add that,

Masha'Allah i really liked how sister' or Brother i don't know,Umm...Mujahid i think it's a sis,, i liked the questions she put forward

Yes she is mrrying him for Allah's Sake, and desires have somethign to do with it as well

Actually his wife says she's o.k. with it But she never allows him to contact her even e-mail

she says that she doesn't want them to communicate too much because it might leadto Zina :rolleyes:

she also continously plants doubts in her Mind,

which i find Ironic! Brotha Rampage it's easier to say than to do, thanks Though.

Shyhem Brotha Love is Risk Taking you can never gurantee whether someone will cheat or stay with with you forever, or even marry another woman. thats The Headache of it.

Kool Kat, i know she's Not Stupid!!

Love is Blind keep that in mind and whether he's married or not thats doesn't change her Love for Him

Once You inlove it's like you are trapped in each others WORLD.... and the world around you doesn't make sense..

sister Jawahiir Obviously he can because his at the uk and she's at Down under and so far he made three trips just For her,, so Fanancially i think he can support her Alhamdulillah, Allah will Lead them in any other help they need i truly Belive that

and he Got LOADZ of Love to Give that should mean something

 

Ma'salama

[Khayr]

Salams,

"He wanted to marry her But her family didn't like an idea of a none somali guy that was married with three kids, as a muslim his allowed to marry Four Wives "

If a sisters family disapproves, you shouldn't push it and try to marry the sister without her parents consent. You can't put yourself ahead of parents!!!

I think that its Highly disliked if not Haram in some schools of fiqh to marry without parental consent. This is very important!

 

WHERE DOES love COME IN WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE ?

(In terms of the hierarchy of importance!)

This is a rhetorical question because I know an answer to the question.

You can't build anything on sentiment. In fact, it is sentiment and emotion that has destroyed families and gotten some somali sisters pregnant out of wedlock.

 

This dude seems to be looking for more trouble and his intentions and the sisters intentions should be questioned.

[Ayaan8321]

Sis.....AGE IS A BIG THING.....I´ts not just a number,it indicates if you are experiance to life or not....

 

 

But i'm personally affraid for her mental health!

she's going Out of her mind and someone of you might think it's Pathetic to Go Crazy over a Guy! or a Girl, But it does happen, it becomes really unbearable, to Go on Knowing that your Heart is about to Break in two pieces

The question here is about self love and respect.If you love your self then you understand that you can´t let anyone treat you like that.(considering,that he doesn´t have feelings for her. Because abaayo if the man had feelings, he´d take care of the situation islamarki...not postpond it.)sorry to burst the bubble but i think he wants to have his cake and it too...

[Ayaan8321]

i meant eat his cake and have it......

[Jewelz]

TELL YOUR FRIEND SHES OUT OF HER MIND, IN MORE WAYS THEN 1