Somalia-On-A- Lie Anarchist Political Convention

[Haashim]

Baashi Mr President ma Illowday inaan lacagta aniga hayo, lacagtaa wax kala wadda, cagtana gurigeygay ku badanaysaa, marka madaxweynaha runta ah aniga waaye, adiga waxaad la mid tahay Qaazi Al-yawar, cimaamad qurux badan iyo macawis qoorasoofeys ah iyo shaal kashmiri ah ayaan kuu gadayaa saxiixyadana waan kaa soo qaadanayaa.

 

World Bank & IMF ayaan lacagta qaar ayaan dayminaynaa si ay dulsaar nooga dhaliyaan, waddamada faqriga ahna MIDDLE CLASS ugu sameeyaan, haddii argagixiso diyaarad ama baabuur qarxisana wixii indho buluug leh oo ku dhinta amgtooda annagaa bixinayna.

 

duufaanta florida ka dhacday wixii ay guri dumisay annagaa bixinayna, guryaha mundullada oo tarabuunka agtiisa ka dhisanna dumiskooda dawladdaa bixnaysa, shirkad Maraykan ah ayaa qaandaraaska dumiska la siinayaa taasoo duufaantii Fallorida oo kale ku afuufaysa.

 

Kharashyadu waa badan yihiin .... xataa mudaaharaadyada Anarchistska ay Prague ama London ama Genoa ka dhigaan waxay jajabiyaan oo dhan annagaa bixinayna, May day wixii LONDON CI'I soo gaara oo khasaara ahna waa korkeenna.

[Paragon]

Lol@Muraad

 

Sxb, thank you for making me the president of the Anarchist Government, :)thoughthe postion you've put me prickles the mind. President of the Anarchists? Bow bow!

[checkmate]

Anigoo ku socda magaca reer TOW TOWLE oo aanu nahay reer xil wayn iska saaray fadhi ku dirirka,qab qabla yaalnimo,quraan dhurwaa isku sheeg ga iyo saxan saxan ku gudka u jeeda deenu waxay tahay Danta umada soomaaliyeed iyo ku dhawaansho aan ku dhawaan neeyno TOLKEENA SIYAASIYEED EEE REER GARAS...

 

Arin aad iyo aad muhiim u ah oo ay isku raacsan yihiin REER GARAS iyo REER TOW TOWLE oo ah Nin aan shantaada kaa reebin, Sharci kaama reebo oo aanu doonayno in arinkaa ku saleeysmo hor umarka dadka iyo dalka soomaaliyeed.

 

Hadaba aan soo food dhigo dhambaalka culus oo aan halkaan u imi,.... Mudane Baashi waxaan kuu dooranay Madax weeyne heena cusub ee dalka soomaliya.. adoo iga raali ah iga GUDOON UBAXAAN

 

 

PS: Mudane Baashi gacal isma cariirsho...wax kasta waanu qabanaa hadaanu nahay reer tow towle

 

asxantu

[Baashi]

Breaking news from Wargeyka War iyo Wacaale ,

 

His excellency Mudane Baashi is now the president-elect. He's won the election in a landslide. The final tally was 99.99% of the votes. There were, it has been reported, some discrepencies in some of the precints. Nevertheless, the election committee have certified the results.

 

Muraad is in jail now. Nur has been fired. They were not close relatives of the president-elect. In order to consolidate the power, Shoobaro is now the acting manager and treasurer. He will wearing different hats.

 

Nur, Muraad are exxpected to held a news conference to take an issue with the president-elect and to put spin on the fall from the grace scenerio they found themselves in. There are rumors that they have close relationships with foriegn waste disposal companies and fishing industry in other nations.

 

To be continued...the drama has just begun.

 

You can follow the latest political news on the internet. Just click on http://www.all-reer-Gasarnet.com

[Haashim]

99.99% has ended in 1999 (20th century) we're in 21st century no more 9's, even well-known dictators changed their tricks in this century by saying 86% -89%.

 

Therefore this result is VOID and NIL and I will collect 50 XILDHIBAAN from SUUQA SIIGAALE(each XILDHIBAAN will get $50 and T-shirt my photo on it), to vote me as a Ku-meelgaar (Intii 39 sano laga gaaraayo) President.

 

As soon as they sang "MADAXWAYNAHAYNA MURAAD WAAYE MINAADAN SOO RAACIN MOORADAA WAA LA GUBAA" as soon as they finished this song i will issue a warrant to arrest Baashi and Shoobaro and to search their homes for money and other possible BILILIQO.

 

if they have some TECHNICS (abdi bile enz.) i will order my assistants to buy all these technics before they raid their homes.

 

, madaxweyne yaa igu haysta hee ninkii MONEY haystaa MADAXWEYNE ah.

 

Saaxiibky Nur isku hallayn ma karo, wasiirka caafimaadkan ka dhigaa ilaa intaan ka hubsanayo.

[Mutakalim]

Are philosophers afforded any jobs? Nay, they ought to be Kings as Plato intimated in the Republic. So, who wants to participate in the "somali philosophers monarchy"?

[Nur]

The Bashi For President Committe

 

Declares

 

Please ignore the sabotage of Reer Qudhac pretending to be our Great President Bashi, we know our President, unless he is under the influence of Qat ( which should not be considered) he is generally a far sighted person, besides, he can't fire me, because we are close relatives (his 34th great grandfather and my 35th great grandfather were maternal cousins)

 

Please wait for mor information regarding this matter.

 

 

Cag Biciid

[Coloow]

Assalamu calaykum,

 

Baashiyow, saaxib mahadsanid.

 

Ma anagoo qaran guurayo,

qoysba qooys dhacayo,

qabta laisku haayo,

sida qoonka fircoon,

qaraadada u taagnayd,

qabiilka na galaaftay,

qaranka ka dhignay qabiil,

qolo qolo u habar wacnay,

Baa qaran dhisaneeyno?????

 

markaan tixdaasi halkaa ku dhaafo!

 

Ku socoto; Golaha fadhi ku dirirka

 

Ujeedo. qaaylo dhaan ka soo yeerta reer garamgaram

 

Anagoo ah reer garamgaram, waxaan ka xunahay in guddiga fadhi ku dirirka uu kala qeybiyey jagooyinkii madaxnimada qolada aan deriska nahay ee reer Qurac iyo Reer garas.

 

Bal marka hore, nimaankaan reer qudhac intaaysan la bixin magacaasi waa la oran jirey reer qurac oo waxaay deganaayeed geed aan caleemo badan lahayn oo ku yaala tuulo aaysan xoolahuba degan oo la magacbaxday af barwaaqo.

 

Waxaa inagu maqal ah in reer qurac aay gabar siiyeen isla markaana aay la xidideen reer garas. Dembiba hanagu ahaate, waxaa inagu maqal ah oo kale in reer garas aay raashiinkooda karin!

 

Haddaba hadaanu nahay reer garamgaram, waxaanu leenahay hanalasiiyo qeybteena oo maandeeq uma curanin oo keliya reer qansax iyo reer qurac.

 

Waxaan golaha u sheegeynaa in haddii aan nala siinin wasaaradaha soo socda aan weerar af ku qaadi doono deeganada aay deganyihiin reer qurac iyo reer qansax!

 

Wasaaradda Bililiqeeysiga

Wasaaradda Land cruiserka

Wasaaradda Lacagta (Nb. Qeybta doolarka)

Wasaarada afka

Wasaarada baasaboorka.

 

 

Waxaan quud dareeynaynaa in tixgelin gaar ah nala siiyo!

 

Jaalle Dhoktore Injineer duuliye janaraal qabiiljecel kaligii taliye islaamaha dahabka ka dhaca, agoonta laaya,gaalada gacmaha ka leefa

 

Jinoole

[Nur]

Jinnoole

 

By far, you are the most elequent and articulated anarchist to respond to this thread, your Af Somali poetry is awsome.

 

What this country needs is a real Jinnoole, like your excellency, I think that we finally found the prime Minister of the Anarchist Re-Bililqo of Somalia.

 

Prime Misnsiter jinnoole, my cimmamad is taken off for your honor and candid knowledge of Somali culture based on hate, stealing of camels, raids and killing of fellow Somalis, noteworthy is your chaotic unstructured government Ministries, like the Minsistry of Bililiqo, which is the core di-Organization of any Anarchist power base. We are happy that finally Bililqo will be institutionalized in your government. The first such misnistry in tghe world soon to be copied by other hopeful countries like Iraq and Afganistan.

 

The Baashi for President Comittee is proud to nominates Mr. Jinnoole as the Prime Misister of The Anarchist Re-Bililiqo of Somalia .

 

 

Cag Biciid

 

Secretary

 

Bashi for President Committee

Working Against Each Other Toward A Bleak Future

[Baashi]

Working Against Each Other Toward A Bleak Future

By Nur

 

Nimaan shantu kaa reebin, Sharci kaama reebo

By Shoobaro

[Nur]

The Nairobi Report

 

 

Now that a Speaker of ther House has been officially elected ( he is a direct decendent of the Prophet SAWS, I am not suggesting that the original Islamic Caliphate is back on track in Somalia until he assumes the highest office ), The office of the President of Somalia and the Prime Minsister is up for graps, the funny thing is as the role and value of these offices are changing these rascals who dont even read the fine print dont realize that Somalia is heading to be a United Nations Protectorate fro the next 20 years, just like the one we had prior to Independence in 1960.

 

Somalia will have a government by the UN, executed by the Tribe, for the Rich businessmen, an ideal Democracy, the Annan-Bush edition.

 

The Presidential hopefulls who are buying delegate votes are paying $1000 up front and $4000-5000 in escrow account to guarantee that delegates deliver the winning vote for the Presidential hopefuls. From a purely business perspetive, ROE, return on equity which is a measure of the sustainability of the Anarchist Government of Somalia is defined as the net bribe earnings per MP Votes divided by the book value of the Somali Government which is broke, usually a ROE of 20% and higher is considered healthy for any business, but in the case of Somalia, business is so good, the ROE approaches infinity, for just few thousand dollars, the Presidential hopefulls are buying votes to steal public money in the form of foreign aid, but are they?

 

Not quite

 

These smart politicians who dont even read the fine Print of my friends plans ( That is Cofee Anaans guidelines for Governance ), the new Somali government will be a municipality, no financial mandate will be in their hands, the next Somali Prime Minister will share power with Kofee Annan, the Ministers will share power with respective UNDP officials ( Fisheries, Aggriculture, Civil service etc) so, writing checks will not be as fun as it used to be, unless?

 

 

Unless what?

 

Well unless the UNDP officials ( the most corrupt organization on earth ) and the Somali Cabinet Ministers agree to steal the public wealth together, but how

 

Thats easy, because they will write the checks together, they will agree to give contracts to XYZ Company who will be indirectly owned by the third cousin of the Minister's second wife.

 

But that is better than outright theft of public coffers for which these politicians are paying thousands to buy votes.

 

 

Miss Piggy Reporting

For the Anarchist Magazine

 

2004 e-Nuri Political Satires

[Coloow]

Nuur,

 

Akhi soo nocod wacan!

 

The appointment of Ganacsade Shariif xasan sheekh (some reliable sources say this descedent of the prophet is a qaad mogule) has shut the door for the likelyhood of a faqi, faqiir, fataxa qaate as the president. What we have is a situation in which a sheytaan would become the president.

 

ROE- LOL.

 

Madaxweyne mar i dhaha,

Maalka waa idin ballanqaadayaa,

magacaabida jagooyinka igu daaya

 

 

Jinoole

[Baashi]

The State of the Union,

 

Mr Speaker, The ladies and gentlemen in SOL chamber, My fellow citizens, good morning.

 

Few weeks ago, I made a solemn pledge that our ideals, our values, and our faith in anarchy will stay undisturbed under my watch. I’m here to declare that my administration did its utmost to preserve the status quo. We worked very hard to abolish the stability-divide that rendered our great country a country that harbors sissy doves. We went into action in the North and we succeeded to use the skills (dividi et impera) of the members of my administration gained from the previous administrations. Today there are two standing armies in that area ready for action. The foot soldiers in these highly trained militias are made up from relatives (abtis, seedi, sodok, ina-abtiyaal, ina-eedoyaal)! In the month of the Ramadan, my fellow citizens, will be a month to remember. These relatives will kill their fellow brothers for the sake of their “country†unless the dovies manage to pull another stunt on us.

 

In the south, our mercenaries had a field day. We were attacked by a true anarchist - one who wanders aimlessly. This sore loser is not on the same page with us. We didn’t give him a piece of the “expected†Maandeeq so he broke from the party line. Our complicated “coalition of convenience†knew what to do without further instruction. They cornered him and they made an example of that ungrateful anarchist of ours. He is done for good this time. In his place we prefer to use the potential disputes within this “coalition of convenience†to further propagate the fruits of anarchism and its timeless ideals that our administration is so committed to advance. I grin every time world leaders such as Bush steal a line from my administration. Surely, you have all heard by now the words “liberty†and “freedom†and big vision behind it.

 

In the economic front, things are not as good as we expected. Arab states in the Gulf have reopened the “livestock†trade. That is not good at all, as this trade will give employment to many herders, drivers, brokers, security guards, and landlords. Likewise, the housing market will recover from recession. This will serve as stabilizing factor because it will deny anarchist much needed recruitments as the pool of unemployed disgruntled male dwindles. Our friend of Djibouti is doing some needed service for his Somali brothers. As a result, a deal is made with Arabs to use Djibouti ports! That is not enough but it will sure ease our anxiety for time being.

 

In the political front, we’ve made progress in many fronts. We have made the reconciliation effort a non-issue. The real estate redistribution has no weight in the discussion. We have institutionalized “negative†tribalism as the state ideology. We have rendered the government functions and its services as lucrative corporate departments given as entitlement to preferred clans as their share of our beloved Maandeeq. Votes are for sale for the highest bidder. In Nairobi, We are doing big man! to use a phrase from the Somali gangsters in America’s hoods.

 

Once again, the state of the country is healthy and our people, our country as well as our leaders are doing very good job. Ladies and gentleman the state of the union is more than good. We are aware that we didn’t have a good year but rest assured we have plans to exceed the current growth of anarchism.

 

-------------

 

The speech of the president as it appeared on the Anarchist Magazine under e-Nuri Political Satires

[Nur]

Bresident Baashi

 

Your sbeecj was so organized, with good command of the ENGILISH language, you know us anarchists can not read this eloquence, so to remain the undisputed leader of Anarchy, please show some confusion in your sbeej, you seem to be too artikulated for the job.

 

Caaqil

 

Thanks for the comments, I will come back with some thoughts later

 

 

Nur

[Nur]

Bashi Bro.

 

Whats happening @ Jawhar? have the politicians found a good use for the sugar cane?

 

 

Nur