How to become more Modern or Ilbaxnimo...

[Fabregas]

As people move around the world, in this global village of ours.They become exposed to new ideas, cultures and ways of living.As Somalis call it "ilbaxnimo", the closest word i can think of in the english language is to become more "modernised".One such concept of "ilbaxnimo" is the practice of Dating or "Shukansi" and Girlfriend iyo Boyfriend, if you are "politically correct "extra maritial relations" and if you are a christian fundamentalist or an Islamic Fundamentalist like me fornification/Zina.What would the Greatest Woman to have ever lived thought of the suggestion of such an act of ilbaxnimo?The Quran has the answer.

 

 

B]And Zakariyya became her guardian. Every time Zakariyya visited her in the sanctuary, he found food with her. He asked: "Maryam, how did you come by this?" She said: "It is from Allah. Allah provides for whoever He wills without any reckoning." (Surah Al 'Imran: 37)[/b]

 

And when the angels said: "Maryam, Allah has chosen you and purified you. He has chosen you over all other women. Maryam, obey your Lord and prostrate and bow with those who bow." (Surah Al 'Imran: 42-43)

 

And Maryam, the daughter of 'Imran, who guarded her chastity-We breathed Our Spirit into her. She confirmed the Words of her Lord and His Book, and was one of the obedient. (Surat at-Tahrim: 12)

 

… and she who guarded her chastity. We breathed into her some of Our Spirit and made her and her son a Sign for all the worlds. (Surat al-Anbiya': 91)

 

How can I have a boy when no man has touched me and I am not an unchaste woman?" (Surah Maryam: 20)

 

The pains of labor drove her to the trunk of a date-palm. She exclaimed: " Oh, if only I had died before this time and was something discarded and forgotten!" A voice called out to her from under her: "Do not grieve. Your Lord has placed a small stream at your feet. Shake the trunk of the palm toward you, and fresh, ripe dates will drop down to you. Eat and drink, and delight your eyes. If you should see anyone at all, just say: 'I have made a vow of abstinence to the All-Merciful, and [so] today I will not speak to any human being.'" (Surah Maryam: 23-26)

 

Her reaction was this:

 

Oh, if only I had died before this time and was something discarded and forgotten!"

 

 

In the pain of labour, one of the most difficult times in a woman's lfe.The only thought on her mind, was if her family would think that she had disobeyed Allah swt and become unchaste thus she wished she would rather die than that. Subxanallah.

[Ameen]

Assalam Alaikum

Thanks brother for posting this reminder of our beloved Maryam (may Allah have mercy on her and her offspring).

 

Indeed she was the selected woman from among the creation and inshallah (when and if) Allah blesses me with a daughter, I intend to name her Aqsaa...lol (hopefully, her mother agrees and if not, than Im a have to find a way to convince her) but inshallah....I intend to share stories and lesson with her and what better example to use (from among the women) than Maryam.

 

In regards to the pain of giving birth....so your saying it hurts eh? How much? Im sure you dont know the answer since we on the same side of the fence...but its just a question that I add in mind...that no book can give me an answer to.

And Allah,The Most Great, knows best

[Haneefah]

^Neither can a woman's answer truly make you understand just how painful the ordeal is. Even those who actually experience childbirth are miraculously made to forget the excruciating pain, a sign of Allah's mercy upon them, right after. Otherwise, they'd all vow to never have another one again (some do during labour, but smile afterwards). Not that I myself experienced it (just the thought of it is absolutely horrifying), but I have accompanied 2 of my sister in-laws to the hospital during their childbirth, and boy was I in for a true shocker! I wasn't in the actual room of course, but I waited outside and basically heard their screaming/crying/yelling just about anything that came to their minds. My brothers, both of whom amazingly had the strength to withstand seeing their wives in labour came out crying to my surprise...and no, not at the sight of their newborn baby, but the inconceivable experience these poor creatures had to endure. ax!

 

So brothers, my advice: accompany your future wives to the labour room, assuredly, you will begin to view women from a completely different perpective.

 

As for the topic, in addition to the point the poster is making, the stories of Zakariya and Maryam, may Allah be pleased with them, offer great lessons to be learned about the power and might of Allah and about human nature, among many. Furthermore, discernible similarities can be drawn from the two.

 

Maryam is an extremely righteous and virtuous woman who spends her time in seclusion in the service of Allah, she's honoured and chosen by Allah subxanahuu watacala over all women. She's the one who reminds Prophet Zakariya (calayhi salam) about the rizq and bounties of Allah, in essence inspiring him to supplicate to Allah for a son. However, despite her perfection and high regard, she's still a human being. Thus, when she learns about the miraculous qadr of Allah, she incurs a shock and quickly questions: " How? I've never been touched by a man...". And the beautiful and concise answer to her was: " So (it will be) for Allah creates what He wills. When He decrees something, He says to it only: Be! and it is". Now, in her capacity of understanding, this was a matter that was humanly impossible, but she learned that it only takes for Allah to say "Be" and it will be. Subxanallah.

 

Likewise, Zakariya; a pious man, a scholar, a prophet (calayhi salam), is given the glad tidings of a son after supplicating to Allah, and when granted His wish, he becomes stunned and is not convinced it's possible. Thus, he questions His Lord like Maryam: "But how? I'm old and my wife is barren...". And similarly, the answer to him was simply, "Kadalikallahu yafcalu maa yashaa.". Truly amazing!

 

MAny times in the Quran, Allah caza wajal explicitly and eloquently illustrates His great power and authority, the concept of Qadr. Yet, how often do we feeble human beings struggle to digest matters that we can't explain nor have the capacity to fully comprehend. Matters that are obviously out of our reach, yet, we stubbornly persist on retrieving the answers and finding the cause intead of saying qadarallu maashaa facal. Well, it begs the question, what then becomes of the authority of "Kun fa Yakuun" to us during those instances? Will simply using forgetfulness as an excuse suffice in the day of judgment?

[mantra]

Ameen

Someone once told me that women are given a taste of hell when the child's shoulders are going though the passage, Allahu aclam

 

Interesting topic, if only we truly appreciated just how important chastity is. I love suratul Maryam..

my favourite recitor..

http://quran.islamway.com/saad/019.mp3

[Ameen]

Assalam Alaikum

 

"So brothers, my advice: accompany your future wives to the labour room, assuredly, you will begin to view women from a completely different perpective"-Haneefah

So sister, my question to you is...what about those sister that push their husbands away (I understand that the pain becomes unbearable)when in the last stages before giving birth, do I (as a husband) stand by her side despite maybe her grabbing and swearing at me for the pain that I have caused her? Or should I obey her wishes and give her some space? Not all women are the same nor do all women require the source of pain (the man) to be around right?

Mantra...thats funny cause a person also gave me something similar to the example that was given to you...lol.

What can I say about chastity, other than...its overlooked, when in reality, its a sign of eman.

And Allah knows best

[Fabregas]

Salam thanks for the responses, @Haneefah thanks for the clarification i am glad you answered it before one of the boys didlol.@Ameen aqasa nice name neva heard it b4...

[Modesty]

Nice topic. The reality is society reveres sins such as boyfriend/girlfriend, dating and such.Kissing your boyfriend is very normal know, even to some Somalis.Even Somali people will look at you weird for saying you don't like to date, people think you are a "weirdo" for being a virgin.Pathetic.You might even find a father driving his daughter to a hotel with her boyfriend knowing she'll get "deflowered". Sick. I think the best way to guard yourself is to be educated about the culture you live in. I'm always analyzing everything in this culture, sometimes I feel like I should write a book on my observations, lol. Some Somali guys actually say I will not marry a girl unless "I test drive her", as if the girl is a car. So this mentality is what we call freedom, the only thing freedom has done is make humans take one step backwards.