15-tips for brothers talking about Women in Islam.

[Blessed]

Salaams borthas, I've read this and thought of you

 

Enjoy....

 

 

15-tips for brothers talking about "Women in Islam".

 

Whether it's Muslim scholars, brothers at the Muslim Students' Association (MSA), or the average Jameel on the street, Muslim men also have to deal with the stereotypes and misperceptions about women in Islam.

 

Sadly, a number of brothers make the problem worse without realizing it, instead of clarifying the issue. This is rarely, if ever, done intentionally. However, what's clear is that some guidelines are necessary for brothers when talking about the issue of women in Islam. Here are some suggested tips:

 

1. Let the sisters speak

 

No matter how well-spoken, eloquent or intelligent a brother is, the bottom line is this: he is not a Muslim woman.

 

That means no matter how much you, as a Muslim man tell a non-Muslim woman how wonderful hijab is, it will be harder for her to accept this because you have never worn Hijab and you are not a woman.

 

Whenever possible, have sisters answer questions pertaining to Islam and women.

 

2. Be careful of mixing up the ideal with the reality

 

One non-Muslim writer once remarked how when talking to Muslims about Islam compared to the West, Muslims take the ideal of Islam and compare it to the reality of the West.

 

The fact of the matter is there are very ugly realities when it comes to the treatment of women in many parts of the world, including the Muslim world. Muslims must recognize the reality of domestic violence in the community, even though Islamic ideals would never condone such ugly behavior.

 

3. Don't sacrifice speaking out against injustice in the name of protecting Islam's "image"

 

"Tackle the issue and the image will take care of itself," advises Sr. Kathy Bullock, a convert to Islam based in California. Don't fall into the tendency to ignore pressing issues for the sake of protecting Islam's reputation.

 

In other words, if someone brings up the issue of honor killing in Jordan, acknowledge the reality but make it clear that this is a sin and a crime in Islam and as a Muslim you condemn it. This in itself is enough. Trying to justify or make excuses for it or covering it up is not going to score image points for Islam.

 

4. Don't respond to unspoken accusations

 

A number of times, Muslims automatically start an apologetic tirade defending the status of women in Islam before a person has even said a word. Let the other person initiate questions, and answer calmly and confidently. You may be responding to an accusation that was never even in the person's mind in the first place.

 

5. Ask WHY

 

Do this before launching an apologetic tirade against any accusation. For instance, a man in Spain once approached a scholar, saying he felt Islam was a man's religion. Before rebutting him, the scholar asked him why he thought this way. The man replied that whenever he looked at mosques, he saw only men.

 

By knowing why, you can develop your answer accordingly, and tackle the issue head-on in an honest and direct way.

 

6. Agree with people as much as possible

 

Start off agreeing with a person. It will completely turn the tables on the discussion, as many people begin discussions on women in Islam assuming Muslims are completely against the notion of women's rights.

 

7. If you don't know something SAY SO

 

If a person tells you they're from X country you've never heard of and Muslim women are treated in a horrible fashion what can you say about it?

 

I have never heard of that, and I don't know are simple enough. Don't start apologizing, or denying that it happens. Tell the truth.

 

8. Don't be condescending

 

In Islam, looking down on a fellow human being is a sin, whether the person is a male or a female. Don't think you know all there is to know about women in Islam, and don't speak in this manner either. Allah does not love arrogance, and only Allah has full knowledge of all things.

 

9. Don't interrupt

 

This is a problem in a number of cultures, men interrupting women and other men when they speak. Not only is this rude behavior, it takes away from your message. People are less likely to listen to you if you come across as a rude boorish individual. Don't do this to others, especially sisters.

 

10. Don't assume all Muslim sisters are the same

 

Just because your mom, who was born and brought up in a Muslim country, and has never had a problem with hijab does not mean that other Muslim sisters have the same experience.

 

Muslim sisters are as different as brothers, as are their experiences with issues like hijab.

 

11. Become more attuned to the "new Muslim woman"

 

Muslim sisters today are not the same as those of yesterday. Many Muslims sisters know more, and they prefer more interactive lectures as opposed to the passive style normally used. If you're giving a talk, be ready to have interjections from Muslim sisters. Welcome these, don't shun them.

 

12. Choose your words very carefully

 

If you're doing a presentation on women's issues in Islam or responding to a basic question, make sure to choose your words extremely carefully. Know the exact dictionary meaning, as well as the meaning in everyday usage. Words are extremely powerful, and they leave an imprint on the hearts and minds of people. You want that imprint to be positive, so be careful.

 

13. Actions speak louder than words

 

You can speak beautifully about women in Islam on behalf of the Muslim Students' Association (MSA), but if throughout the year, sisters have been denied access to the prayer room, or the right to participate in decision-making in the MSA, then think of how silly your talk is.Make sure your personal and organizational behavior falls in line with your words.

 

14. Don't stereotype all Western women

 

"Table dancers" or "cheerleaders" is how one Muslim sister described the way Muslims tend to stereotype all Western women. Let's not forget: we hate it when Muslim women are stereotyped as oppressed, so we should not be doing the same to others.

 

And lest we forget, a growing number of Western women are becoming our Muslim sisters, and very practicing ones at that.

 

15. Seek women's perspective on issues

 

You know mom, who loves you so much and makes your dinner? She's a woman. Your sister in school? She's a woman. If you're blessed to be surrounded by practicing Muslim sisters in your home, take advantage of this by seeking their views on issues like hijab, domestic violence, community participation, and media stereotypes. There's nothing like hearing the truth presented from those who truly live it.

 

Source

[bilan]

good advise,i only wish some so called religious man will follow it,and i hate the fact that the only thing they lecture to women are hijab,husband and children,like women do not have other issues,and concerns,and i am sorry to say but converted muslim scholars are more sensitive and better equiped to talk about topics concerning women than born muslims. i just wish we had more women scholars.

[Khalaf]

6. Agree with people as much as possible

 

Start off agreeing with a person. It will completely turn the tables on the discussion, as many people begin discussions on women in Islam assuming Muslims are completely against the notion of women's rights.

 

 

--Wrong. Al-Islam can not be compromised to appease people or agree with them. Stay true to our teachings, despite disagreement or dislike from the people.

 

Other then that, thanks sister for the reminder. Its hard as a Muslim to see the sisters not wearing hijab or behaving like kufars, but as brothers we don’t understand what they go through and I admit at times not sympathetic to it.

 

 

Indeed the best speaker for Women in Islam-are the believing women who commit to Al-Islam may Allah give all of you strength and much kahyr in this life and in akhira, tho I don’t say salaam around campus, but by Allah I feel proud & happy as a Muslim seeing our sisters in hijab, the symbol of islam represented in the midst of Kafur, the beauty of Islam embodied. Kahyr, respect, & all that is good for the nisa al-mu'minin.

 

Salaamu lah

[Rahima]

^The point is that you should highlight the points of agreement between the persons points and Islam. It will create a positive platform for further discussion- i.e. the person becomes more receptive to you.

 

This has nothing to do with compromising your diin.

[Khayr]

1. Let the sisters speak

 

No matter how well-spoken, eloquent or intelligent a brother is, the bottom line is this: he is not a Muslim woman.

 

That means no matter how much you, as a Muslim man tell a non-Muslim woman how wonderful hijab is, it will be harder for her to accept this because you have never worn Hijab and you are not a woman.

 

Whenever possible, have sisters answer questions pertaining to Islam and women.

 

I have always believed this to be very true...and I think that Proud_Muslimah did an excellent job, back in Oct./nov. 05 with regard to this issue Proud_Muslimah . Also, Umm Salafiyaa too had done a good job on SOL.

 

Muslim Men will always look bad when it comes to women and islam...point blank!

[STOIC]

A good advice, I must say, to every Muslim brother that crawls on the earth. A while back when I was an active member of a Muslim student Association in my school I happen to witness some of the things the writer pointed out. One time there was a free and fair election held by the student members of the club. The slot for president and vice president was both won by girls. This was a win that entailed that the organization day to day business will be run by Muslimas. Not to my surprise some members could not acknowledge the staggering loss of the male species. The boys didn’t realize that this was not a male only cast- any one with a half brain could tell the beauty of competition. They had seemed to be caught a little off guard with the competition. Let me spam you with another story (I feel like letting it out-another story ). The writer is also right on the money when he said that actions speak louder than words. There was a time when I and my other Muslim friends were at a school party. In the middle of the floor we happened to spot a hijab wearing muslimah. We were all taken back by the image of dazzling Hijab in the floor. We all started to make some rustling sound and concluded that she was lost. What we failed to realize was that we were at the same spot where we didn’t want a Muslimah to be spotted. Double standard from me and my partners eh?

[Xoogsade]

Stoic, Hijab is treated as a sign of piety, therefore, it is natural for people to expect excellent islamic manners from the woman who is covered. People hold the same standards to a man who shows visible signs of islam such as the beard and the low cut trousers or the man who preaches and teaches islam to others. Their mistakes are treated differently. It is a double standard but the reality. We treat the religious as if they were infallibles(macsuumiin) which they aren't and be shocked when we see them do something everybody else does.

[Nur]

Good advice indeed, however advices 2, 6, and 14

 

 

2. Reality of Islam has never changed, reality of the West is continously changing, they do not have a single standard of " Westernerness" while Islam as a concept has endured 1400 years without fundemental change. Reality of Muslims is different than Reality of Islam, therefore the comparison shows that "Muslims" are at times more westernized than the western.

 

6. Agree with any statement that agrees with Quraan and Sunnah, Not people, for the sake of good conversation

 

14. Western women are raised to accept every lifestyle , they see as a personal choice and they respect it, thus the Dancer and a person who doesnt object to it even if they dont do it are not far apart in morality from Islam's perspective. We as " Muslims" have our own decadent lot, a Muslim turist was once asked by a cabbie of he wants a night girl, the Toursit said, " I am muslim", the cabbie said " I have Muslim girls" my point is our realities in terms of morality is at times very close if not identitical, but our principlas are far apart.

 

 

Nur

[Khayr]

Originally posted by Nur:

Good advice indeed, however advices 2, 6, and 14

 

 

2. Reality of Islam has never changed, reality of the West is continously changing, they do not have a single standard of " Westernerness" while Islam as a concept has endured 1400 years without fundemental change. Reality of Muslims is different than Reality of Islam, therefore the comparison shows that "Muslims" are at times more westernized than the western.

 

6. Agree with any statement that agrees with Quraan and Sunnah, Not people, for the sake of good conversation

 

14. Western women are raised to accept every lifestyle , they see as a personal choice and they respect it, thus the Dancer and a person who doesnt object to it even if they dont do it are not far apart in morality from Islam's perspective. We as " Muslims" have our own decadent lot, a Muslim turist was once asked by a cabbie of he wants a night girl, the Toursit said, " I am muslim", the cabbie said " I have Muslim girls" my point is our realities in terms of morality is at times very close if not identitical, but our principlas are far apart.

 

 

Nur

I like your #2 point

"they do not have a single standard of " Westernerness" " is true but at the same time it is not entirely true. Reason being is they thrive on 'change/chance (as Mutakalim put it)' and that too requires a regularity of sorts;though be it a down spiral towards Nothingness aka Other then Tawhid, Jahnum/Hell etc...

 

 

6. Agree with any statement that agrees with Quraan and Sunnah, Not people, for the sake of good conversation

Alhamdulillah caala kulli xaal waa nuucudu Billah min xaali axali anaar!