Starbucks Dads: Perspectives on Somali Immigrants Fathers

[Warrior of Light]

Starbucks Dads: Perspectives on Somali Immigrants & Fathers

By Safia Farole

Source: Muslim Matters

 

There they stood – a group of Somali men, some in their late-twenties and others in middle-age, congregated around the coffee shop located on the corner of the plaza, on a Friday afternoon. It was a typical rainy day in Seattle as I was driving down to the local Somali shopping mall, and the sight of these men was all too typical. Around several major cities in the US and Canada, where Somali immigrants live in large numbers, there is this phenomenon of “Starbucks Dads” (SD) – Somali fathers who gather at coffee shops, including but not limited to Starbucks, talking idly for hours on end. To clarify my position, in no way is this column meant to denigrate Somalis or Somali men, nor is it meant to cause fitnah. This phenomenon is a symptom of the disease that hampers our progress as a multi-ethnic Muslim community in the West. To approach this topic, we should first examine what factors motivate these men to engage in this activity. What are the social repercussions as a result? How does the immigrant Somalia experience parallel that of disadvantaged minorities in America? What is the role of the father in Islam? What did the Prophet (SAW) teach us about wasting time? And finally, what are the level of responsibilities necessary to addressing and fixing this social problem?

 

Rest of the article: muslim matters

[Nur]

Good read, MaashAllah, Sister Safia kept me engaged in her long article, it was worth every second, may Allah bless the sister Amin.

 

If Seattle has Starbuck Dads, in Toronto there is Daddy's Day Care!.

 

So Many wise women, so few sane men!

 

 

Nur

[Polanyi]

I'll read the article another time. But, why in Muslim matters?

[Maxaatiri]

...when one of the Prophet’s male grandchildren wanted to eat a date that had been given to him to be distributed as alms. The Prophet immediately took it from him and stated, "Anything given as alms is forbidden to us."

Can someone explain this please? In the Islamic context, that is. What are the regulations on who is meant to take alms (as Muslims we are instructed to give to charity, so someone has to take it), and what is the context of this Hadith? e.g the time and what was happening if that is important.

 

I am by no means advocating for the benefits system, just a question on the hadith the sister used.

[Nur]

Maxaa Tiri bro.

 

The story is based on a concept that the prophet SAWS taught the Muslims that as a Prophet he is not allowed to take SADAQAH, because the SADAQAH ( ALMS) is destined to the poor and needy ONLY, as for prophets, they can only accept gifts but not Sadaqah.

 

Abu Hureirah reported that when food was brought to the Prophet SAWS, he used to ask whether it is SADAQHAH ( ALMS) or GIFGT ( HADIYYAH)?. If he was told that it is SADAQAH he wouldn't eat, and if he was told that it is a Gift, he would eat it" Reported by Muslim .

 

The reason is that as a Messenger of Allah, the Prophet SAWS was acting as Allah's Ambassador to mankind, we all know that Allah is rich and that people are poor according to Quraan, so the Prophet is expected to live up to a dignitary's status, not a beggar. Prophets in history used to earn their living, no Prophet has lived as a beggar even when they had hard times making ends meet.

 

 

Nur

[Chocolate and Honey]

For a moment there when I read "Starbucks Dads" I thought she was going to target Minnesota. There is a huge problem here at Starbucks, especially in the South Minneapolis area. There is one Starbucks where we used to live thats so overcrowded with Somali men, I heard they use sound meter! It is open later and is full ANY time of the day, evening, month, year.

 

The other day I drove way uptown to buy my latte from a Starbucks thats located at a corner, hidden, nowhere near a Somali neighborhood just to avoid the stares of men. I havent been there for a couple of months. I walked in and what do I see? Groups of Somali men clustered around the window, chatting away in the middle of the freaking afternoon. Ughhh!!!! I felt sad as everyonelse who went in there bought their coffee and left except the Somalis.

[Maxaatiri]

Brother Nur, JZK, that was really helpful bro. So when the Prophet scw says 'we', he meant the prophets and not the Muslims. Thanks a lot walaal.

[Jacpher]

I take offense to that term. Disgusting to say the last. Article contains too many flaws to conclude those children end up either in jails or at the hands of the gangs.

 

As with any coffee shops, Starbucks is open for business and don't really care who buys their product men or women. if Somali women want to go to Starbucks and don't like seeing Somali men there, tough luck. But enjoying a moment of Starbucks coffee doesn't constitute a failure in parenting your children. That's like arguing Somali women who populate Somali malls have neglected their households. What about mosques or Somali coffee shops? More Somali men gather at mosques and Somali coffee shops than Starbucks.

[Allamagan]

^Jacphari, day hee waxbaa ka jira waxa gabdhu qortaye. Raggu waa isku jiraan ragna waa soo shaqeystaan xoggaa ayeey meesha soo is-istaagan deedna xaafadoda qabtaan ragna kama kacaanba ma aqaani wax biila. Rag waawyen qaar odayaal yihiin oo wax shaxaadaya wan arkay oo saacado badan meesha fadhiya.

[ElPunto]

Is the lounging at Starbucks really different from the endless cups of tea at a makhayad in Somalia? The only thing different is that in the west - the cultural/moral environment doesn't give parents, especially dads, the luxury of letting the extended family or society bring up their kids. You have to be present and act as a role model and be vigilant if you want your kids not to be swayed by thug/ghetto culture.

 

PS - Somalis are some of the biggest hypocrites. The guy in Easleigh that was calling other black people 'adoon' or 'jareer' is the same one who when brought to America takes on the culture, morals and dress of the so called dhagaxs.

[Nur]

El Punto

 

You write:

 

"Somalis are some of the biggest hypocrites."

 

Though I agree with this statement in general, can you spare few Somalis from this rule, because we have very few who are no hypocrites?

 

 

Nur

[Rayyan]

The bad habits is passed to the second generation already. the armchair warriors are on rampage, verbally killing themseleves in the politics section of this very website.

[Khayr]

Originally posted by Rayyan*:

The bad habits is passed to the second generation already. the armchair warriors are on rampage, verbally killing themseleves in the politics section of this very website.

So true, so true.

 

Starbucks dad's is a sad reality and it stems from lack of support (from family) and shame (it is more shameful to be a garbage cleaner then to be unemployed). :confused:

[ElPunto]

Originally posted by Nur:

El Punto

 

You write:

 

"Somalis are some of the biggest hypocrites."

 

Though I agree with this statement in general, can you spare few Somalis from this rule, because we have very few who are no hypocrites?

 

 

Nur

I was referring specifically to the habit of having a major superiority complex with regard to black people and then aping their culture when Somalis come to the west.

[IsseRiyole]

deleted war waan kaftamayey ,ballo