sillysista Posted January 18, 2005 Can a female divorce a male? I mean shouldn't woman have a choice, let's say a sister would like to get out of a marriedge and she has a damn good reason can she just end it?? to make it more complicated she is preagnant and she wonna divorce like right now what does islam say??? I really would appriciate some Help out.....!! Thanks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caveman Posted January 19, 2005 Before I can give my piece on this …..Is this out of your curiosity, or it’s a case in point that you or same one that you know wants to act on this? I am asking this cuz, you have stated the person involved is pregnant, so I want suggest to work things out, and make every possible mechanism to avoid divorce, since it’s a terrible option. Salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted January 19, 2005 SillySis, Before we embark on answering or helping this difficult story, would you mind if you answer the ? posed above by caveman? It ain't tooooooooooooooooooo late...Insha-allah we will try to help in one way or the other. HAPPY IDD-UL-ADHA IDDUL HAJJ. HAPPY IDD-UL-ADHA IDDUL HAJJ. HAPPY IDD-UL-ADHA IDDUL HAJJ. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SomeAlien Posted January 19, 2005 a woman can seek divorce by seeing a qadi (judge) and giving a valid reason for divorce. a woman can also have it stated in her marriage contract (before marriage) that she will be granted divorce without dispute or a judge if she asks for one. however in all cases there is a period to wait to see if you are pregnant. i dont know what process you have to go through if it turns out you are pregnant, maybe some of the other nomads will fill in the blanks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juba Posted January 19, 2005 divorce is strongly discouraged and should only be taken into account as the last resort. i believe muslim women can divorce just don't know all the rules to it.is there abuse involved? if its not to personal what exactly is the "damn good reason"? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sillysista Posted January 19, 2005 first wa-salaam Caveman, this ain't curiosity, really take my word i did try to make this marriage work i guess a terrible option is better then living terriblely each blessing day.....!! yes their is abuse involved and many things i can't even write if i tried... I really want us to get along for the sake of our onborn but things just ain't that easy....!! I heard devorce is strongly discouraged but not haraam so.....what iff he is not ready to devorce me does only his vote count?? ????? :confused: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Strawberry_Xu Posted January 20, 2005 I always heard that, in the case of abuse a woman can seek a divorce. Especially if you're pregnant, because all this stress can't be good for the baby, and it will put both your healths at risk. Islam doesn't give men the right to abuse you, and if you fear for the life of yourself or your child, as far as I know you are allowed a divorc with the help of wadaads / judges. I hope that while the whole divorce process is pending, you have removed yourself from that stressful environment and possibly stay with your family for a while. I'm not sure what the surat / hadiths are, hopefully someone else can provide them to put your mind at ease. I hope you work it out safely, especially for the sake of your child and I hope that you will be able to form a stable enough relationship after the divorce, so that your child can enjoy both parents. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caveman Posted January 20, 2005 Can A pregnant Wife Divorce her Husband? The answer is yes, there are two methods in Islam that are guiding principle in these matters and they are: Fasakh and Khulu'. I have no knowledge, I am indeed an student of our beautiful Diin, so, I am gona refer this excellent article. It will clearly tell you different options that are open to any women who wants to divorce regardless of the situation she is in, the article is titled: "women and Divorce From The Islamic Perspective†http://bismikaallahuma.org/Women/divorce.htm As you will see in the article, pregnant women, the 3 menstrual cycles (or three months for women without menses) is extended to until she gives birth to the baby. You must also know, Islam has the must humane and just divorce system on earth. No Muslim woman on earth is married with out her consent, otherwise that marriage is based on flaw belief. I still wouldn’t advice divorce, but since there is an abuse involve and no one-else but you know exactly what you are going through, I strongly recommend that you goto the Mosque at your local community. With out you having any reservations or being shy about the whole situation. Explain The Imam the delicate situation that you find your self into, I am sure he will respect/protect your privacy and guide you the right direction. Also, a person’s life in this world is not stable: One passes through alternating periods of happy marriage and divorce, happiness and dismay, strength and weakness. Wealth and poverty, health and sickness etc. A true believer is one who maintains a clear level of Imaan throughout the worldly fluctuations. He/she continues to remember Allah and ascribe the bounties to Him; and he/she turns to Him in submission, asking for relief from his affliction. This is described by the Prophet (SAW) who said: " Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer ! They are all for his benefit; If he is granted ease of living he is thankful; and this is best for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres; and this is best for him." [ Muslim ] Here is a verse from our Noble Quran: Allah(SW):says[…....Do people think that they will be left alone because they say, We believe, and will not be tested? Indeed We tested those who (lived) before them] Al-Ankaboot 29/1-3 You should not feel terrible, just because marriage didn’t go smoothly as you have imagined it. We should know that Allah(sw) puts obstacle on our path not to punish us, but to test our Emaan. May allah(sw) help you and bestowed on his mercy. Marriages in our communities are coming a part except those that are based in adherence with our Diin and the sunna of the Prophet(saw). So, if you ever get married again do it the right way from the get-go, pray 2 sunna’ for it, make sure its solely based on other person’s Imaan, their fear of Allah(sw), And not their worldly gatherings Still, may allah(sw) help heal and reconcile your home, so you wouldn’t need a divorce. Allah(sw) knows the Best Salam! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sillysista Posted January 21, 2005 All I was seeking for was islamic Perspective off devorce i"m glad i got that now... I have never expected marriage to go smoothly, i was just avoiding zina alhamdulilah and i guess their was no way i could have provented this from happening it was all written ! Jaza-khallah kheran nomads! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pacifist Posted January 22, 2005 Silly Sista I hope all the best for you. Have faith in almighty Allah. Sincerely I am sorry you have to go through this. Please make sure you take good care of yourself. Make a lot of prayers. Talk to family and try to stay healty. If you need to talk or get any support even Cyber support. Please remember I am here for you. May Allah ease all your pains and bring great happiness in your life. Amin Hasna Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted January 23, 2005 ............................................ The Thread has very good verses for this kind of situation. Here is a verse from our Noble Quran: Allah(SW):says[…....Do people think that they will be left alone because they say, We believe, and will not be tested? Indeed We tested those who (lived) before them] Al-Ankaboot 29/1-3 Hadeeth. The Prophet (SAW) who said: " Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer ! They are all for his benefit; If he is granted ease of living he is thankful; and this is best for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres; and this is best for him." [ Muslim ] While feeling sorry for you Ssis, I will pray two sunnah Rakaats for you today to help at least put you out of trouble. NOTE FOR MALI MEN. Please play your part of marriage with clear religious guidance.Do not prefer divorce,do not abuse and work hard.Treat your ladies and wives with respect and comfort them always. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted January 23, 2005 Sillysis, may allah make it easy for you.. if it is slightly thing that u could make this relationship work make it.. but if abusement as bodily harmed is involved.. go out girl.. may allah make it easy for you, and your unborn baby.. involved the families too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior of Light Posted January 23, 2005 Silly sister May Allah ease the sufferings and provide u with the best of solutions. Regarding divorce I have a couple of questions. If it was a normal divorce i.e the man divorces the woman - she has to stay for Iddat (40 days ) period in her husbands household. And if she is pregnant the divorce is annuled untill she gives birth to the child and during that period she is still in her husbands household and he maintains her. Now my qn is when a woman asks for her divorce and is granted. Does she still have 2 stay in Iddat? And if she knows she is pregnant and the husband knows and she insist on divorce what happens? Is she granted the wish? You have to remember that the child is theirs? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pucca Posted January 25, 2005 since you've said that you are pregnant, there's a bit of getting used to; i'm not saying that abuse is acceptable or anything, just that the two of you might be finding it hard to get used the idea that there's going to be a baby soon. perhaps rather than a divorce a separation for the duration of your pregnancy might be a better idea. perhaps after or during this time the both of you could try and work your marriage out. stay over at your a family members house or a friends. dont rush into getting a divorce though sis, your emotions are running high at this point and major decisions like this one might be alot easier to make after you've had your baby. then again you know yourself best ...do what you think is right, all the best to you sis. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
